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Gates Comdex Keynote Shows Plans, Matrix Spoof
An anonymous reader writes "According to Eweek, Bill Gates' keynote speech at this year's Comdex showed Microsoft's 'focus on security, spam and [the] tablet PC', including a new version of its Internet Security and Acceleration (ISA) Server, an extension of the SmartScreen Technology for spam prevention, and the next version of the Microsoft Windows XP Tablet PC Edition operating system. But the showstopper was a filmed spoof of The Matrix (screencaps available here), with Gates and Steve Ballmer as Morpheus and Neo respectively, and including a jab at Linux."
Gates plans to trap humanity in his own MS Matrix. Of course, there will be bugs in the system allowing people like Neo to pop-up and hack in.
Hmm...still looks better than Revolutions.
Then the glitches would be a feature
Agent Smith would need to be updated ever 2 weeks to avoid the latest expolit which would allow Neo to destroy him
It would have to be rebooted every month to free up the memory leaks
Rus
Cheap UK and US VPS
I didn't know the Borg had a sense of humor.
--"The perfect example of the man of action is the suicide." - William Carlos Williams
Seriously, I was planning to troll this topic or something, but...I've got nothing. It's just too lame. I mean, it's like trying to make fun of a clown by mocking his big floppy shoes or tiny car, stuffed with other clowns. It simply falls flat.
Really. I got nothing. Sorry. Make up your own jokes.
What I wouldn't pay to be Ballmer's stunt double and accidentally pop Bill Gates in the nose!
And props to microsoft having the matrix run off of linux. Guess that makes sense. Can't have the matrix crashing because it feels like it! People's lives would be at stake!
Microsoft: Demonstrating through movie parodies that Linux is a better choice than Windows for system-critical environments
Now that is just wrong.
Wrong I tell you.
So very, very wrong that I cannot begin to fathom just how craptastically crappy this crap is.
Imagine. Using a popular culture movie to debase your competition and promote your crappy vaporware. Where do I sign up for this crap? I want off your lists. All of them. And your parent company lists too. No, don't try and sell me your product by linking it to a popular movie reference, please. Let it stand on it's own merit. Oh, you say it's all smoke and mirrors and you don't have the features I want? Too bad, no money for you, bye now.
Grrr.
Don't Ask Questions. I don't know the answers and even if I did I wouldn't tell you.
Gates and Steve Ballmer as Morpheus and Neo respectively
Um, I thought Ballmer was the fat one.
I can much more easily picture Morpheus dancing around the Zion cave shouting "DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!" ad naseum, than Neo.
I mean come on!!! A more appropriate spoof would be that those two were the virus version Smith (crikey, I'm writing this now and listening to the Animatrix OST and Red Pill Blue Pill is on!!!)... yeah Longhorn would have to be the Matrix code, constraining humanity and the problem is choice: which MS don't want people to have.
Plus, the Matrix is due for a critical crash, hmm the parrallels are endless...
Are you local? There's nothing for you here!
As Switch. One of the Nebuchadnezzar crew that got killed really early on the first movie and was promptly forgotten about forever.
Isn't that dying faster than *BSD?
sulli
RTFJ.
I haven't seen it (yet) but doesn't Neo die in the movie :D
:D
Which is Neo again?
Has Comcast disconnected your Internet account? Same here. You can read about it at http://comcastissue.blogspot.com
Neo: What is the Matrix?
Morpheus: Unfortunately no one can be told what the Matrix is.
Neo: Why?
Morpheus: My tablet PC just crashed.
For the part where Agent Linux burns Bills eyes out and then he finally can see all the Linux everywhere...
thank you bill for pusing the envelope.
2 1337 4 u!
Gates plans to trap humanity in his own MS Matrix
;-)
You mean like that?
Wow, he's called "steve-o" ? The marketing / PR folks screwed the pooch a bit there.
Nothing like having one of your two most recognizable corporate officers sharing a name with a guy who's known for stapling his ball sack to his leg.
The other Steve-o
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
Larry Elison as the Oracle!
Next week, there'll be an article on how the company MS contracted to put this movie together did it with Apple iMovie or somesuch.
"Old man yells at systemd"
Uh. What? Microsoft has ALWAYS been an innovation-stifling, will fuck for money, back stabbing company. This whole thing started when Bill G got laughed out of the homebrew computer club for throwing a hissy fit over how people were copying his version of basic.
All this time I thought it was that leather trenchcoat making Laurence Fishburne look so cool. I need a mental shower now to clean the image of Bill Gates in a long leather coat.
Well, it wouldn't be totally faithful no matter how they did it. At least they got the part right where the Matrix/Linux won in the end....oh wait, their "spoof" probably left the ending off...
Other than that, I know some guys that would rather choke on a blue pill that size than go Windows.
Geddit?
Gates plans to trap humanity in his own MS Matrix.
Let's just pray Agent Clippy doesn't learn how to copy himself!
GMD
watch this
...as Agent Smith!
...are Neo and Morpheus?
Cluelessly yours,
Mal the Elder
Linux: A clone of Minix, itself a clone of UNIX.
UNIX: A rough implementation of Multics, written expressly so that Ken Thompson and Dennis Ritchie could port a game called Space Travel to old, cheap hardware.
Who's got new ideas now?
Toronto-area transit rider? Rate your ride.
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they attack you, then you win."
-Gandhi
So what stage are we at now?
Moerphus: I want Windows. Lots of Windows.
Daytona
Oh, yeah. I hate those LINUX Kernel Errors that pop up all the time... Who wrote that into Gnome anyway?
No, Neo dies in the new Harry Potter book. Hope this helps.
sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
Some of you may not be aware of this, but at one point (20-25 years ago) Microsoft was seen as the little guy, fighting against the big, powerful, market-dominating, innovation-stifling IBM. Remind anyone of a certain penguin?
Reminds me of Anakin Skywalker...
Actually not, at my work, they just installed a win2k3 server for testing, the first thing the server did was to get infected with welchia worm... do you call that secure?? it didn't even gave the guy the time to apply the patch before getting the worm
...lots of bugs."
From the Dissociated Press:
(DP)After regaining my composure, I realized their take on the Matrix was all wrong. The horse suppository sized pill was mis-marked, should have been the Windows pill. It should have gone in the other end, after Balmer, timidly pointing to the small Linux pill, finally submits - smiling and whistling a show tune.
- Vin Dozier, Las Vegas
This was just feeding dog food to the dogs - nothing more, nothing less.
Lodragan Draoidh
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. - Mark Twain
I think I speak for more people when I say,"Who gives a shit?"
No, but they're sueing, claiming that the Architect, and therefore The Matrix, contains millions of lines of SCO code. (has SCO ever written any code?)
Note that so far noone seems to have made any serious comment on the presentation. Just a lot of jokes. What MS says is just not taken serious here. Does that matter? Nope.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
And while we're playing at "famous compromises", we can't forget the Microsoft corporate compromises either. Not that I would want to mimic your smug tone nor intrude on your own zealotry.
Sorry about that, heres the right one Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Excellent! This will give me a chance to try out my latest invention - these pressure pills. opens a bottle and a giant pill falls out Fry: Are you crazy? I cant swallow that! Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well, then good news! It's a suppository! I seem to have a detour from my brain to my mouth/keyboard. The message gets fiddled with in transit :p
History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it - Sir Winston Churchill
But the showstopper was a filmed spoof of The Matrix (screencaps available here), with Gates and Steve Ballmer as Morpheus and Neo respectively, and including a jab at Linux.
But I totally get Ballmer as Neo - you've seen his matrix training film.
Carthago delenda est!
The site's "shell server" was compromised May 22 after a SourceForge employee logged on to an outside Internet service provider that had already been taken over by the intruder, said Pat McGovern, site director of SourceForge.net. When the staff member logged on to SourceForge remotely, the intruder captured the password.
Well some of that is true, I mean I did trojan ssh but I did it about 5 months ago, so kudos to the admin you sir are awesome..
"What happened was the (ISP) was compromised and had not known it," McGovern said, adding that the site's administrator quickly noticed the intruder and shut systems down. "Basically we had to go through and rebuild the machine, and then we checked the log file of everyone who used the machine."
hrm I guess that could also be considered true, if by true you mean, finding out every box on your network is owned 5 months after the fact and only due to my own boredom that consisted of me ircing it infront of the admin, by the way good job of auditing your network, wait thats just too much sarcasm for one sentence..
After the attack, VA removed the shell service until workers could reinstall the software and data on the server. The shell server allowed SourceForge members to type commands into the system remotely. On Thursday, the company posted an alert that the shell server couldn't be used because of an "unscheduled maintenance event."
It also allowed me to sniff my way onto apache.org and sourceforge webserver and leave all sorts of goodies in the code..
In this case, they only got into a shell server," McGovern said.
Hey, theres no disputing that, I mean.. wait.. Whats this I'm defacing ?
The company also decided to shut down its "compile farm," a collection of computers running different operating systems on which SourceForge developers can test their software.
Why would they shut down other boxes, if only the shell server was hacked ?
Although illicit modifications to the programming projects are a concern, McGovern said the intruder didn't get that far.
oh come now, you're just being silly..
Its ok thought I dont blame you guys, I mean atleast you admited to being schooled, thats more then I can say for akamai, but thats a different story all together.. But never the less, I'd like to thank valinux.. apache.. akamai and ofcourse exodus without their poor security and refusal to make security breaches known to the public I wouldnt be sitting atop a mountain of roots and oodles of proprietary software.. This is the fluffy bunny signing of.. beep..
-fluffy@#blackpanthers on efnet (the scourge of efnet)
No, he's New Here.
This is spoiler ...
... :)
don't read if you havent see Matrix Revolution !!!!
Will the end of Gates 'Neo' will be the same as Neo in matrix revolutions ? Will he surrender and asking peace treatment to Linux ? and will Gates 'die' in peace like Neo in Matrix ?
If like that, then Linux rock
./me --G--