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Airspeed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow

An anonymous reader writes "Finally, the question is answered: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? A designer with too much time on his hands uses his new method for graphically representing Strouhal numbers to clarify a truly pressing question for all armchair zoologists (and a few Monty Python fans)."

33 of 321 comments (clear)

  1. Don't give the numbers... by danielrm26 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I hate to say it, but this is one of those things like the explanation of where the immortals in Highlander came from -- we didn't actually want to know.

    --
    dmiessler.com -- grep understanding knowledge
    1. Re:Don't give the numbers... by mseeger · · Score: 4, Funny
      I hate to say it, but this is one of those things like the explanation of where the immortals in Highlander came from -- we didn't actually want to know.

      That's not the point. If seek out the most forgotten cave and you install there a switch with the inscription "Doomsday switch - Press here to destroy earth", it's only a matter of time till someone comes by and presses it.

      Humans are curious like young cats. And the /.'ers are the worst of all ;-).

      Regards, Martin

    2. Re:Don't give the numbers... by Larsing · · Score: 3, Insightful

      The script says 'Ni'...

      --
      Ethics is what you say you do. Morals is what you actually do.
  2. Had to be said... by Max+Romantschuk · · Score: 4, Funny

    NONE! ... Shall pass...

    --
    .: Max Romantschuk :: http://max.romantschuk.fi/
    1. Re:Had to be said... by azzy · · Score: 5, Funny

      That's what my University tutor used to say about the exams :(

  3. WoW ! by cablepokerface · · Score: 5, Funny

    A 54-year survey of 26,285 European Swallows captured and released by the Avian Demography Unit of the University of Capetown finds that the average adult European swallow has a wing length of 12.2 cm and a body mass of 20.3 grams.

    54 years? That's amazing, i think I could copy that research with a shotgun, a measuring tool and a free sunday afternoon.

  4. Entirely too ambiguous! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny
    Finally, the question is answered: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
    Well, was it a European or an African swallow??
    1. Re:Entirely too ambiguous! by euxneks · · Score: 3, Funny

      What?? I don't know that.. I didn't read the articaaaaaAAAAAAAHHH!

      --
      in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
  5. Ignobel awards by Space+cowboy · · Score: 4, Interesting

    ... looks like someone's pushing for recognition :-)

    Simon

    --
    Physicists get Hadrons!
  6. Finally.. by Takara · · Score: 5, Funny
    I decided to try to answer one of the timeless questions of science: just what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow

    Yes, finally someone had the balls to answer this question that has been wracking the minds of scientists for ages!

    Someone get this man a nobel.

  7. It's the European swallow by SuuSt · · Score: 5, Informative

    just so you know

    1. Re:It's the European swallow by rob_au · · Score: 5, Funny

      I can't wait until someone who gets moderated down in this discussion cries out - "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" - and decries the "violence inherent in the system".

    2. Re:It's the European swallow by ferkelparade · · Score: 5, Funny

      Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of moderation!

      --
      frotz grue
    3. Re:It's the European swallow by Fishstick · · Score: 3, Funny

      How do you know he's a moderator?

      He 'ent got shit ellover'im.

      --

      There is much cruelty in the universe, John.
      Yeah, we seem to have the tour map.

  8. Re:easy money for scientists? by sane? · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Do you think that scientists just sit around, with all the money they want, dreaming up daft experiments to do?

    In reality they have to bid and win for the money to do such things, against stiff competition. Just think of the talent, skill and dedication that went into convincing a biscuit manufacturer to fund such research. Can you imagine standing up in front of a review board and pitching that? The man's a genius.

    I'm guessing that this swallow work was a personal project, but this also was a work of genius. After all, most of their research will go into a dry and dusty journal. Nobody will read it, nobody will notice. However this will be quoted for as long as some smartarse quotes Monty Python. The publicity and the (indirect) fame is well worth the small effort involved.

    Getting your name known, and getting contacts and work as a result, is as much a part of science today as actually discovering new knowledge. This is just marketing, but without the dodgy haircuts and inflated salaries.

  9. What does it mean? by Siener · · Score: 4, Informative
    Incedibly it seems as if some /.'ers are missing the reference. It's all about Monty Python and the Holy Grail

    The relevant pieces in the script :
    A swallow carrying a coconut? and The Bridge of Death

  10. How to lie with charts. by blair1q · · Score: 3, Informative

    To imply similarity, make the graph larger than it needs to be. Then all of your points will fall in a narrow range and appear closer together.

    For this and other presentation crocks, read How to Lie with Charts, and its fore-runners, How to Lie with Statistics and How to Lie with Maps.

    1. Re:How to lie with charts. by rogerborn · · Score: 3, Funny

      Do they have one that shows how to lie with girls?

  11. Okay, that's 2 questiones answered by 91degrees · · Score: 5, Funny

    But what is your favourite colour?

    1. Re:Okay, that's 2 questiones answered by WildFire42 · · Score: 3, Funny

      I can just see the Perl monks coming by, in full regalia, smacking their heads on O'Reilly books and singing that stupid chant from Monty Python, now that this has been answered.

  12. It's right at the bottom of the page by WegianWarrior · · Score: 4, Funny

    Blue

    --
    Everything in the world is controlled by a small, evil group to which, unfortunately, no one you know belongs.
    1. Re:It's right at the bottom of the page by Tumbleweed · · Score: 4, Funny

      No, green! *AHHHHHH!*

      You know, the best thing about this article is that it's uncontaminated by cheese.

  13. And now for something completely different by orthancstone · · Score: 5, Funny

    For his next article, can he tell us if the parrot is dead?

  14. the air speed of an unladen swallow? 42 ft/sec! by zuzulo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Now that we finally know the right question to match the ultimate answer, I suppose the universe can end.

    Somehow it does not surprise me that Douglas Adams and the Monty Python crew are the secret masters of the universe. ;-)

    --
    "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
  15. If there was ever a day to RTFA.... by B747SP · · Score: 3, Informative
    Either I've been trolled really well, or this is actually really good stuff. RTFA slashdotters, this Strouhal write-up is actually a really good/interesting read. They've basically come up with a simple formula to describe efficient flight for all animals, regardless of size. Really interesting stuff.

    --
    I find your ideas intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
  16. Inside Knowledge... by danielrm26 · · Score: 4, Funny

    This is so cool. Now, the next time we put Holy Grail in the DVD player, I can watch the scene and be like,

    "Actually, that's not correct."

    If there were any chicks at these MP parties, I am sure it would go over well.

    --
    dmiessler.com -- grep understanding knowledge
  17. Mod parent down by gfrege · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Perhaps you are able to sit in your chair at home and, using purely a priori reasoning, arrive at conclusions that others must use empirical investigation to achieve. And perhaps, once the scientists have arrived at those answers through painstaking quantitative research (as in the case of the authors of the Nature article), you enjoy pointing out that you reasoned your way there without the messiness of actual research. Fair enough.

    But even if the discovery made wasn't surprising to you, it was interesting enough to make it into Nature. And the author of the style.org article on Strouhal numbers was clearly concerned not so much with the discovery as with the graphical representation of the information discovered. He is, after all, a designer.

    In other words, you may benefit from spending a little more time trying to figure out what people are doing, and a little less time trying to show everyone how far ahead of them you are.

  18. No problem! by Haeleth · · Score: 4, Funny

    11 m/s is approximately 21 knots. So the combined airspeed of two European swallows is... (drumroll) 42 knots.

  19. Those responsible ... by rob_au · · Score: 5, Funny
    Those responsible for the posting of this link and subsequent slashdotting of the site have been sacked.

    The site has now been mirrored by karma whores on numerous different hosts at great expense and at the last minute.

  20. Re:for some reason it doesn't sit well with me by NoOneInParticular · · Score: 3, Funny

    The article ends with an answer of roughly 11 meter per second. Given some a priori reasoning about the universality of the metric system and the Answer, we can deduce that the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow quite likely is a bit higher, namely 11 2/3 meter per second. This comfortably equates to 42 kilometers per hour, and the circle is closed.

  21. I'll give it a try by The-Bus · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Look my liege! Charts describing Strouhal numbers and swallows!"
    *trumpets*
    "Charts!"
    "Charts!"
    "It' s only a model."
    "Shhh!"

    --

    Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.

  22. For the Monty Python Ignorant.... by linuxrunner · · Score: 4, Funny

    GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut?
    ARTHUR: We found them.
    GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
    ARTHUR: What do you mean?
    GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
    ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not strangers to our land.
    GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts are migratory?
    ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
    GUARD #1: What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
    ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!
    GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut.
    ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
    GUARD #1: Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
    ARTHUR: Please!
    GUARD #1: Am I right?
    ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
    GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
    GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.
    GUARD #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
    ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
    GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory.
    GUARD #2: Oh, yeah...
    GUARD #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...

    GUARD #2: Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it together?
    GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
    GUARD #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!
    GUARD #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
    GUARD #2: Well, why not?

    --
    www.slightlycrewed.com - Because aren't we all?
  23. The other bonus question and answer by fireboy1919 · · Score: 4, Funny

    How can sheep's bladders be used to prevent earthquakes?

    Just consider the facts:
    B: What causes earthquakes?
    A: Sudden slippage along a fault line

    B: Ah, but WHY does that cause earthquakes?
    A: Because it's a lot of ground moving?

    B: No, try again.
    A: Because it doesn't slip smoothly?

    B: Yes, that's right. So...logically...
    A: We could prevent it if we got it to slip smoothly?

    B: And what do you slip on all of the time?
    A: Sheep urine?

    B: Absolutely. And where do you find sheep urine?
    A: Sheep bladders.

    B: Therefore...
    A: If we stick sheep bladders into a fault line, it'll prevent earthquakes!

    A: Thank you, Bedevere. Good insight.
    B: My pleasure, Oh King.

    --
    Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!