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Weird Presents Anyone?
g8way writes "Now that Christmas is about, it's time for presents. A joyous occasion with much drinking, fruitcake, and butt-ugly sweaters. What's the weirdest gift you've gotten so far? Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package. What's your story of Christmas present mayhem?"
a dildo for Christmas. From my elderly neighbor! I'm a male!
HOW'S MY POSTING? CALL 1-800-POSTING
Personally, i got a first post! :-P
My Stack Overflow user
My friends got me a blow-up doll, complete with inflatable breasts and two holes.
I've never felt so pathetic in my life.
I got a 40 gig iPod for Xmas. But the weird part is that when I looked at the diagnostics menu, it said it was only 37.1 gigs! Apple played Grinch and stole 3 gigs of music from me. :(
C - A language that combines the speed of assembly with the ease of use of assembly.
Along with the usual sweaters, socks and underwear I get every year, this year I got something special..
:D
My mother in law excitedly handed me my gift this year with a big grin on her face. I opened the box and what was there?
A seagate Barricuda 7200rpm 120gig hard drive!
"Now you can download more movies and burn them to dvd (vcd)" she says.
Large capacity hard drives, the gift that keeps on giving all year long
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
Think they are trying to tell you something?
I got a combination wallet/calculator from Radio Shack. Who buys a wallet from RS? Old folks are so crazy. This is the same aunt who last year bought me a combination mouse pad/calculator. Next year I bet I get a calculator watch.
Oh well, maybe I'll get her back by giving some Metallica CDs.
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
Toothpaste, breath-freshening mints, deoderant, and cheap out-of-the house food.
No pattern there.
Hmm. Unless.... Is your family trying to tell you you're spending too much time playing Everquest, and too little time playing "shower"?
Opinions on the Twiddler2 hand-held keyboard?
My Xmas:
6 pairs of black socks
1 can of mixed nuts (i hate most nuts)
A bottle of leather conditioner (presumably for my car)
A pair of cheap $20 headphones (left side doesn't work)
15 losing $1-2 lottery tickets
$10 in gift certificates to Krispy Kreme (love them, but the closest one is an HOUR away. All Dunkin' Donuts around here.)
Speaker stands for the surround sound system I don't have.
-----
I gave...
My sister a nice Capresso CoffeeTEC coffee maker because her current coffee maker broke, and this does lattes and hot cocoa to boot, which she loves. Also got her an assortment of coffee from Gevalia.
My parents to share, got them 5 classic movie DVDs (Ben-Hur, Citizen Kane, On the Waterfront, Bridge on the River Kwai, Casablanca). My mom a backyard birdwatching and project book, a pair of nice binoculars. My father I got a 10GB iPod (bring his MP3s in his car without him constantly burning CDs), and a new copy of MS Trips and Streets (to replace his 1994 Rand McNally software which he still uses regularly).
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I know its not what you get, but the thought that counts, but I think I put in a lot more thought than they did.
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Not only did I get nothing but CLOTHES for christmas.. My parents bought me a hamper to put them in. *rolls eyes*
Personally, I got toothpaste, tic-tacs, deodorant, and a McDonalds coupon book in the same package.
It was a message. Your breath stinks, you have BO, and you're too skinny.
I got a full length coat from my mom. Now I can go out in public without wearing anything underneath it. I can;t wait till New Years!! Mwahaahaha!!!!
adventure-today.com
How about the sound of a bottle beeing opened?
My girlfriend got me razor-sharp shurikens that I can use to assassinate my enemies in the dark of night!
I wrote Santa and asked for a pussy. So I unwrap the box and see only a goddam alley cat.....male even.
Table-ized A.I.
I love my family. :D
I agree... the only way to be a good golfer is to follow Christian teachings. Nothing else seemed to work for me, so that's gotta be it.
it is christmas after all
...was wrapped gift wrap.
Worse part was, I didn't know when the hell to stop unwrapping.
A really smart shirt from Next
The shirt I got is a little slow, but it means well.
Other than that I got some toothpaste, a toothbrush, and deodorant. I wonder if my mom is trying to tell me something about my hygiene.
Are you sure your friend wasn't a cheap bastard who bought the book used? I'll just tell him I highlighted the good sections for him.
Me and my s.o. got a Shocking Roulette game from a friend who is studying in Scotland (it's supposed to be popular around there?). It's for 2-4 players. Each puts a finger inside this machine, the lights start blinking, and as they stop the lucky winner is rewarded with an electric shock. "The more you sweat the worse it gets!"
Closest I got was an SCO Beowulf Cluster from Soviet Russia from a company that failed to make a Profit!
I received a wonderful gift in my e-mail box from the King of Nigeria this morning. He said that if I gave him my life savings, he would give me $400,000,000. What a kind fellow, fully of holiday cheer, to make such a generous offer!
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
"mom got me a bag of coffee beans per month for the rest of the year, which should be cool"
...Just *one* bag then, huh? ;)
Well, in a manner of speaking...
I got mod points! Tiz the season to Troll Troll Troll! Thanks Santa!
Table-ized A.I.
>>Next year I'm going to buy them something by Richard Dawkins.
How about getting them a Mac? My creationist cousin has one and I get a kick out of him using Darwin.
aedan
A good friend of mine came by and presented me with a wrapped item, about 1 meter long with bulges on each end. I tried to guess the contents, but to no avail. It turned out to be a beat-up air horn off of a large truck - which he had found in a junk yard. It didn't take long to find the fittings in the junk box to wake up the neighbothood with it.
Loud? Oh my! The 100 PSI shop air will make it sing. Now, where can I install it?
Soli Deo Gloria
So, did anyone get $100 bucks?
Anyone?
Etiquette is etiquette. He kills his mother but he can't wear grey trousers.
I got Mod Points for Christmas! Thanks Santa!
I recently moved out on my own into an apartment in Portland with my fiancee, and this Christmas from my brother I got a $25 gift certificate from Home Depot... now, at first glance that might make sense, but if he'd checked he'd have realized that:
1) The nearest Home Depot is 50 miles away and I don't have a car.
2) You can't use them online.
3) There's hardly anything there you can buy for $25 that isn't sold by the pound anyway.
I'm selling it back to my dad for cash and thanking my brother politely for the thoughtful gift.
Why does my mother keep giving me Microsoft Games no matter how many times I tell her I don't use Windows!!! She just doesn't get it, "My son's a computer guy so I get him computer games".
-"Mom, I don't use Windows".
+"So how do you use Word?"
-"I don't".
+"Oh, Hmm, how do you use MSN?"
-"I Don't!!!!"
+"But I know you get email".
-"Yes"
+"Well that's certainly strange".
-"No, it isn't. MSN is not the Internet"
+"Oh, well here's you're Chrismas present, a copy of Freelancer". (Which is some MS game I never heard of)
Nevermind the fact that I'm 34 and don't even play computer games.
Anyone want an unopened copy of Freelancer?
My 6 year old daughter presented me with my long lost black handled phillips head screwdriver. She gave my two sons my mechanical pencils.
Thats what I got, no shens. But seriously what the hell am I going to use Whiskey flavored condoms for?!
Bill Gates took my pants, and I thank him for it.
Actualy, wasn't weird: it was a dress but it was the ugliest dress I could find. Of course was a joke but the funny part was to see my mother's face trying to smile (a very yellow smile!) and saying it was beautiful and thank you until I burst in laught. :-D
When my mother realized it was a joke her first words to me were "Thank Lord was a joke! I was already thinking a way to get rid o it without offend you!" Them I gave her the real present
Scientia est Potentia
I've got two younger (11 and 12) brother-in-laws. They're into collectable playing cards (such as Magic: The Gathering). One of them is quite the selfish type and quite conscious of other peoples' opinions of him; the other one is a bit more geeky and off in his own world.
:P
I got them each a Core Set deck. The one more fitting for the geeky b-in-l (Sky Slam/blue) I wrapped simply - just put it in a small box slightly larger than the deck - I also put a $5 bill in. The other one (Burn/red), I put in a large box with heavy objects (several rocks wrapped in paper). I didn't put any names on the packages.
I then let the older/less geeky b-in-l pick the present that he wanted. Being selfish, he picked the larger one. The result: a lesson hopefully learned - and if not, hopeful progress made on that lesson.
I love playing mind games with influential youngsters.
~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
My wife bought herself a car, I got the payments. /me scratches head..
right here! :)
Although the end result seems ok
Veni, Vidi, Velcro!
But at least it wasn't a hot cocoa sampler.
One of my friends gave me Mandrake Linux for Christmas. Cheap bastard.
Manipulate the moderator system! Mod someone as "overrated" today.
I got a puppy from my parents and a cat from my uncle... The description of any of my other gifts now includes the adjectives "urine-scented", "chewed", or "clawed to hell" ... primarily as a result of gift #1 trying to swallow gift #2.
... a male friend of mine, who has a rather elderly grandmother, received a dress.
The floggings will stop when morale improves.
Recently I ordered 6 CDs from a CD club, completely unrelated to Christmas.
When they came in the mail, my wife intercepted them and wrapped them and put the box under the tree as a gift to me. She warned me it was a joke.
Imagine my surprise when I opened it and saw what it was!
HCG 50a = 2MASX J11170638+5455016
11h17m06.4s +54d55m02s
And did he invite you down to his basement, where he had a freezer full of popsicles for you? Or ask you to reach in his pocket to collect your tip? I'm sorry, but that creepy old male neighbor (Family Guy, 'To Live and Die in Dixie") sp00ked me but good. His voice did it, I think...
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - Aldous Huxley
I got a legolas door-poster from MY parents. im male as well, but i told my ex-girl what i got for xmas and she said shes comin over. never know when a life-size image of orlando bloom will come in handy ;)
eBayDig 1s a typo saerch engien
Darl? Is that you?
No, he wouldn't be complaining.
Game... blouses.
I tore off the wrapping paper and looked for what could be in the center of the empty roll of bubble wrap. She says "I know how you like to pop them."
For example, the title he gave a certain book was "The Origin of Species", not "Origin of the Species".