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One Company's Response to SCO
Great_Jehovah writes "The CIO of Just Sports USA received an extortion letter from SCO, started a thread about it on the pgsql-general and then posted his response letter after weighing the various pieces of advice and info he received. Here's hoping that most of SCO's intended victims do the same." An anonymous reader submits a story in a Utah paper about SCO: "The Salt Lake City Weekly paper is running a front page article on the SCO shenanigans. The reporter interviewed Darl, Linus, Bruce Perens and others for the article with new choice quotes from them all." Also, IBM at Linuxworld claims it will win against SCO (miscellaneous plug: CmdrTaco will be speaking at Linuxworld later today).
...is going the right way so far today.
The Army reading list
ha.
Haha.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Heh.
GWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
SCO.
*sniff*
What was the question again?
Sent from your iPad.
Darlness... nice.
Don't get any on you heh.
Imagination is the silver lining of Intelligence.
"He's no geek," says Benjamin Choate, a self-trained Linux user living in Logan. "His tan's too good."....
... I don't want for that 'Darlness' to rub off on me."
In June 2002, the copper-toned McBride took over the reigns of Caldera, a Linux and UNIX distributor desperately trying to find its place in the Information Technology world.
Gotta love the journalist for poking fun at Darly.
And Linus:
When asked if he had any questions to pass along to McBride, Linus Torvalds chose to err on the side of caution. "The less I have to do with Darl McBride, the better off I am
$699 is not that much to pay for a great OS.
I would have replaced "Sincerely" with "Kiss My Hairy White Ass." But that's just me...
"That's Darl McBride, president and CEO of the SCO Group, a perennial loser at selling UNIX"
:-)
Nice
Dear [Insert foo&bar SCO lawyer's name here]
After careful consideration, and based on recent media coverage of the events involving the SCO group claiming ownership of code in the Linux 2.4 kernels, plus the fact that to this date no tangible evidence has been presented in a court of law, we understand that SCO's upper management has been under the influence of recreational drugs for a considerable amount of time and thus, should not be taken seriously.
Under these premises, we'll transfer further threatening letters to our security experts, Corleone & Corleone inc for further appreciation and action.
Kind Regards,
[Insert your name here]
You can't spell fiasco without SCO
"'Listen real clearly to what's happening here,' McBride said by telephone from his Lindon office in early January. 'The situation is that we used to be the leader ... we were where Red Hat [the No. 1 Linux distributor] is now. Linux then comes in, with Red Hat being the ringleader, and really attacks our [UNIX] market share and our marketplace..."
self-explanatory
Why did I lurk so long before registering for a Slashdot account? I could have had a Slashdot ID of less than 100000.
Bruce Perens, a Linux cheerleader and open-source advocate
The thought of Bruce in a short skirt and waving pompoms just made me shudder. "Give me an L!"
Ahhhhh Noooo
"My telephone number is or email". Nice to know SCO's crack defense team proofreads their extortion letters.
No, no, you forgot a word. It should be:
"My telephone number is or email". Nice to know SCO's crack-smoking defense team proofreads their extortion letters.
It's about as much use as a pair of binoculars is to a cyclops...
turning the entire matter over to the RIAA.
Sigs are bad for your health.
The funny thing is, fully 3/4 of the letter is underlined. Maybe they think if they shout and emphasise it they think people will just agree without even taking it in.
"WE BELIEVE WE CAN PROPOSE SOLUTIONS THAT WOULD WASTE YOUR MONEY AND TIME AND WE OWNZ YOU"
Being /. readers, it's unfortunate that we will never get the chance to give business to Just Sports...
- In Capitalist America, law violates YOU!
Yes, Darl, there IS NO free lunch . . . get over it and shut the hell up.
How many levels of irony must this guy go through before his head explodes?
Sdelat' Ameriku velikoy Snova!
I was like, "where have I seen this guy before?" Computer guy...wearing a blue work shirt exposing bare forearms. Cocked a bit to the site with his arms folded across his chest.
And then I realized, it's Peter Norton.
I'm generally "Interesting," "Insightful," and even "Funny" here. What the hell happens to me at parties?
miscellaneous plug: CmdrTaco will be speaking at Linuxworld later today
/. fashion, the same presentation will be made by Timothy some time tomorrow.
Don't worry if you miss CmrdTaco's presentation today. In typical
jason
jason
Have a good day?! Impossible! I'm at work!
the Linux kernel--the core chunk of code underlying most distributions of the Linux operating system.
I used to use Linux-Linux, but I've become a big fan of the Linux distributions that don't use Linux.
Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
To SCO's surprise, with shares down from an all-time high
Lawyers getting loose now, getting down on the proof
I tell ya', Slashdotters wuz screaming, they was, they was outta control,
It was so entertaining when the courtroom started to explode
I heard somebody say
(burn Darl burn) SCO inferno,
(burn Darl burn) burn that mother down (yeah)
(burn Darl burn) SCO inferno,
(burn Darl burn) burn that mother down.
Satisfaction, it came in a chain reaction
Kevin couldn't prove enough, so SCO had to self-destruct
I tell ya', i tell ya' now, now...
The heat was on, it was a rising under Red Hat
Well now, Linux' going strong, yeah that's when Darls' ass got hot
I heard somebody say
(burn Darl burn) SCO inferno,
(burn Darl burn) burn that mother down (yeah)
(burn Darl burn) SCO inferno,
(burn Darl burn) burn that mother down.
Up above my head
I see McBride ashes in the air
That makes me know
There's a party somewhere...
Satisfaction, it came in a chain reaction
They failed to pump'n'dump, so SCO got to self-destruct
I tell ya', i tell ya' now, now...
The heat was on, it was a-rising to the top
Well now, Linux' going strong, yeah that's when Darls' ass got hot
I heard somebody say
(burn Darl burn) SCO inferno,
(burn Darl burn) burn that mother down (yeah)
(burn Darl burn) SCO inferno,
(burn Darl burn) burn that mother down.
Just don't stop...
(sorry, it's a desperately slow day)
Dear SCO:
After reviewing your claims with our legal department and system administrators in extreme detail, we have come to the following conclusion.
Bite me.
Sincerely,
Some Random Company
"Since when is calling a spade a spade unprofessional?"
STFU, Spade.
"Derp de derp."
Yes, Darl McBride, we know. Now will you please stop wasting everybody's time!
Couldn't we respond to SCO in much the same way we respond to telemarketers (well, pre-DNC telemarketers...) ?
SCO: You're using our IP, we want money.
Consumer: Oh really? Perhaps you'd care to talk to the head of the household?
[gives phone to baby]
SCO: You're using our IP, we want money.
Consumer: Oh really? Here's my response.
[holds phone up to airhorn, fires]
SCO: You're using our IP, we want money.
Consumer: Oh really? Is that so? Tell me more...
SCO: UNIX, blah, blah, blah, Linux, blah, blah, blah.
Consumer: Uh huh, go on.
SCO: Stolen IP, blah, blah, blah...
Consumer: Really? Could you elaborate further?
[sets phone down, makes cheese sandwich, watches two hours of TV, plays video game, comes back...]
SCO: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.....
Consumer: I think I'll need some materials on your plan. Could you send me your prospectus and the details of the alleged infringement?
[pause...click]
Consumer: Hello? Hello?
Rule #1 -- Politics always trumps technology.
Well, in this case, my prefered option would be long draw-out and inventive torture of the board and associated lackeys followed by a nuclear stike on SCO's HQ, but that's only because I love them so much.
Of course, changing the law would be a good route, but before you do that you'd probably need to follow the advice of Dick from Shakespeare's King Henry VI: "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." because while the legal profession remains in its current form, it will do everything possible to work against timely processing of expensive cases, even if the judges support it (are judges paid per case or per hour?)
Attributed to Bruce Perens:
"If Darl McBride had his way, he would have banned marriage too, because it obviously is against the remunerative interests of prostitutes"
I wonder if my wife will accept that argument?
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don't
What I noticed was the use of SHOUTING in SCO's letter. Did anyone else find themselves thinking "this sounds just like a newbie on Usenet" ??
~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
In all seriousness, if SCO ever did come after my "amatuer" homebrew server, what should I do? (Besides fold like a wet napkin...)
Roll up a newspaper, and swat them on the nose with it. Say, in a firm, commanding voice, "bad Darl". Then rub their nose in a pile of something appropriate.
What we need is a mutually assured destruction. Nothing complicated, just something that would benefit us in many ways. Imagine this sample of bureaucracy:
SCO, do you still have MP3s on your internal network? And RIAA, aren't you using Linux servers to track copyright infringers?
What would Jesus do? One word: SMITE!
In this house we obey the laws of Thermodynamics!
Dear Mr. Darl McBride,
It has come to my attention that something in your house may belong to me.
You are breaking the law by having my possession. I am willing to rent it to you for $200 a year, or $700 if you use it commercially.
Obviously, I cannot identify the item because you would give it back to me. I am willing to prove that the item is there, however. Send me a list of every single possession in your house, and I will tell you whether it is somewhere in the list.
Please contact me about payment or I will send this case to my contigency counsel, who will litigate you until you pay.
In the meantime, be aware that I will be spreading lies about you, your family, and anything else you happen to care about.
Sincerely,
--alteran
Who is RTFM and when will he help me with Unix?
SCO *is* wasting a valuable person's time... he had to spend time treating that letter seriously, and if I were him, I'd be keeping a log of all time spent on the SCO issue in the hope that it could be used to sue them in small claims court for expenses after SCO loses in court.
/.
Now lets see.. at $4/hour thats three billion dollars and counting.
Yes you guessed it - I'm keeping a log of all the time I've spent reading SCO stories on
while sco {
wget -O
}
Wow, I've never seen such an egregious overuse of underlining. And caps, for that matter. And bold and italics, too! Geez, there's only five lines of text that are not emphasized in some hysterical fashion. Oh, God, pray they don't discover WordArt.
I think they should have written it like this:
Accountability on the heads of the powerful.
Power in the hands of the accountable.
I'm curious: Who has the copyright to that letter?
I imagine printing it on t-shirts and selling these at a Linux Convention and via the web is a good business idea.
Remember my shares when you go public.
I'm self employed actually. Didn't you read the article? Anyway, my friends call me Ben, but while working I go by Benjamin. Though I wonder if you're pronouncing my name right. Practically no one does. It's just a ch with a hard O sound. Like ch + oat.
I guess either no one caught the fact that I was posting about my own quote or no one thought it was funny.