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At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys
Hoon Mihn Fao writes "The BBC Reports: 'Mice have been used to produce viable monkey sperm using tissue transplanted from the testes of macaques.
The U.S. scientists involved say their work might one day help to conserve animals that are facing extinction.'"
...how surprised the mouse on the recieving end of this will be when she gives birth to a monkey.
Paul Lenhart writes words!
My brain is overloaded.... hard to resist the many many bad jokes.
Must hit submit quick!
Arrogance is Confidence which lacks integrity. -- me
...Those mice are f*cking like monk-- oh, wait.
Ed R.Zahurak
You know, oblivion keeps looking better every day.
porno site idea in relation to this link, but I would be DAMNED if I do anything about it.
"Slashdot, where telling the truth is overrated but lying is insightful."
For a minute there I thought it said "spam from monkeys."
goes to this statement;
It might also be possible to grow human sperm in mice, although the team agree this would be a controversial move.
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
"It might also be possible to grow human sperm in mice, although the team agree this would be a controversial move."
GUARD 1: It's not a question of whether it's controversial! It's a simple question of size ratios! A five-inch mouse cannot carry a one-foot human baby!
GUARD 2: Well suppose two mice carried it together
-- Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Adapted)
"The amount of intelligence on this planet is a constant. The population is growing." -Cole's Axiom
And to think, according to george carlin, today is the 2 million anniversary of sperm. We've come a long way folks :)
Wait, on second thought, please don't answer that.
I forget what 8 was for.
That has to be the best title ever. "At long last, Mice produce sperm from monkeys." Implied in there is "Finally!"
_______
2B1ASK1
"At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys"
Wow... somebody has VERY specific tastes....
"Derp de derp."
It took me at least 10 seconds to realize that I had NOT misread the title. *shudder*
Junior ... Your father was a mouse.
Its So Wrong !
Electronic Music Made Using Linux http://soundcloud.com/polyp
Well, as we work down Douglas Adams' ladder of earthly intelligence, I can't help but wonder if this will eventually lead to the fullfillment of the dream of those poor souls over at dolphinsex.org
Maybe a strain of super-human/dolphin hybrids will supplant mice at the top of the intelligence hierarchy.
Sorry, I know it's obscure, but hell, this story deserves it.
hmm, that would make a slashdot story..
This is my Sig, this is my Gun. One is for Slashdot and one is for Fun.
I know nobody here reads the articles, but the most disturbing part of the whole procedure is that the testicular material is grafted onto the mouse's back. The mouse must then be constantly producing a thin gelatinous ooze of reproductive material, which is attempting to burrow into anything and everything nearby.
Eww.
The ______ Agenda
I'm no cell biologist, but it seems this process could be used to bring back extinct species as well, or at least a part of them. Think about it. Might it be possible to clone tissue from a frozen Mammoth body onto a mouse to produce Mammoth sperm? Of course, one would then need a female.... maybe an elephant? Afterall, they've crossed cattle and buffalo. Oh well, just a thought.
"Theoretically, it could enable a boy to become a father before he reached puberty."
So who's really the father? The boy or the mouse? The mouse is the one producing the sperm, not the boy. Oy, my head is spinning.
"...today consumers have been conditioned to think of beer when they see a bullfrog..."
I don't know why he climbs like that, or the fact that he loves cheese. Sometimes I wonder where that sperm bank got their inventory!
Neck_of_the_Woods
#/usr/local/surf/glassy/overhead
Now I'll have the perfect mousnkey. Perhaps they will also have a four assed mouse soon.
I find this... really really disturbing... *shiver*
Did I miss something? I didn't know that monkeys were having a problem producing sperm. I'm not sure what the mice are going to do with but it just makes one shudder. (Slow news day at /. huh?)
There's an easier way to get sperm "from monkeys".
for Gleemonex?
... or to cause the monkeys to produce sperm. I suppose that would be called a "paw job"? Must be either really big-pawed mice and/or small-dicked monkeys... maybe they use both paws, along with little "tongue flicks"?
I knew I had a monkey banging away on my keyboard, but now I'll have an opportunity to find out if one monkey on the back of a mouse will browse to www.hamlet.com
Ceci n'est pas une signature.
No fear! Plenty of women are scared of mice.
Producing sperm from monkeys is easy, you just have to massage their...erm, never mind.
If I seem short sighted, it is because I stand on the shoulders of midgets
would be a four assed monkey.
- Zav - Imagine a Beowulf cluster of insensitive clods...
From the article: "Prepubescent boys undergoing treatment for cancer that will render them sterile could benefit, Professor Dobrinski suggest."
"Billy, the doctors have good news. The cancer is in remission, and you're going to make a complete recovery! And guess what else? The doctors have given you a pet immunodeficient mouse! Take good care of him Mr. Fuzzy if you ever want to have kids of your own."
The angel in the oatmeal.
WTF are these people doing this for? Do they intend on bring back the wolly mamouth using a mouse...? first glow in the dark fish that are possibly going to be banned in californina, now this...
Only 'flamers' flame!
Does slashdot hate my posts?
Chef: Hello there children.
Kyle: Hey Chef.
Chef: How you doin'?
Boys: Bad.
Chef: Why bad?
Kyle: We need to genetically engineer our mouse and an monkey, but their genes won't splice.
Chef: Ahhhh, of course they won't splice children. Haven't you ever heard that song by 'Loverboy'?
Chef: Dooodnnndoodnn - A mouse and an monkey DNA just won't...A mouse-monkey. Say, now that's not a bad idea.
Kyle: I told you guys.
Chef: Imagine, a pint sized monkey that you could keep in the house. Children, we could make a fortune with this.
Kyle: You hear that dudes? We'll be rich!
Chef: Forget about all that genetic engineering whoosafudge. If you want to combine a mouse and an monkey, just get them to make sweeet love.
Cartman: Whaaat?!
Stan: I don't think an monkey would make love to a mouse.
Cartman: I don't think my mouse would want to make love to that stupid monkey.
Chef: Sure they would. But you're gonna have to get 'em in the mood.
Stan: So how do we do that?
Chef: Do what I do, get 'em goood and drunk.
Just when ya think the mailman all you got to worry about.. ya got to keep the damn mice away from your woman too!!!
I only look human.
My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
Don't look at me that way, somebody had to say it. Surely I'm not the first to recognize the potential of licensing this technology to the Japanese entertainment industry.
Well it's about damn time this happened.
1. Does this lab have an affiliate program I can promote?
and
2. Makes me think twice feeding mice to my tegus now. As I feed them, I think, "That might've be the grandmother of my future kids kids kids." (well didnt look that close [male? female?] but you get the idea..)
I cant take it anymore... I'll leave it at that...
Agreed. It's been a bitch of a day for a karma whore.
"Eve of Destruction", it's not just for old hippies anymore...
Who ever betted with the notion "when mice give birth to monkies Ill pay yah"... boy ohh boy they have just lost themselves a lot of money.
double-clicking your mouse! Gee, just when you thought we ran out of uses for mice, someone comes along and find another...
How many monkeys have to be used by the mice? {monk/mL}. Would it help using a sperm whale instead? Would it help employing *male* mice? (not necesserily white, protestant)
I doubt that we will ever figure out - and I suspect that even if we did figure out we couldn't do much about it
This explains what people mean when they say "Well I'll be a monkey's uncle" !!
I had thought that plot had already been succesfully hatched years ago. :)
I hear you can find videos like that on the "internet", whatever that is.
In Soviet America the banks rob you!
Chimpanzee 1: Help! The human's about to escape.
Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!
Chimpanzee 2: (gasp) He can talk!
Orangutans: He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk! He can talk!
Troy: And I can siiiiiiiiiiing!
Chimp Nurse: Oooh! Help me, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutans: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius! O, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1: Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Troy: What's wrong with me?
Dr. Zaius: I think you're crazy.
Troy: I want a second opinion.
Dr. Zaius: You're also lazy
Troy: Can I play the piano any more?
Dr. Zaius: Of course you can!
Troy: Well I couldn't before. (plays piano)
Troy: I hate every ape I see,
From chimpan-A to chimpanzee,
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me!
(Statue of Liberty rises) O my God! I was wrong!
It was Earth, all along!
You've finally made a monkey,
Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey,
Troy: Yes you've
& Apes: finally made a monkey out of me!
Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!
"There is no teacher but the enemy."-Mazer Rackham
Its pretty clear from the article that the scientists have been able to coax the tissue to produce sperm, sperm is produced by the testes, but semen is produced by a gland near the prostate, they're combined later. But still, something elses swimmers wriggling around under its skin...
"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
A chipmunk and provolone cheese! No more will people have to look two places for squirrels and provolone cheese...
"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
"Mice have been used to produce viable monkey sperm using tissue transplanted from the testes of macaques. The U.S. scientists involved say their work might one day help to...
I almost had a heart attack for a minute there.
-You may license this sig for only $6.99.
who are we to decide when it's a species time to go? we are part of nature like everything else, and we seem to think it is our reponsibility to keep everything alive. in the words of Cartman, "It's all a bunch of tree hugging hippie crap!"
Obviously, the only person who isn't a South Park fan modded me down. Or, maybe they ARE a 5 assed monkey, you insensitive clod!
If tits were wings it'd be flying around.