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The Impact of Technophobes
fsharp writes "Most of us have experience with average folks requesting technical support. I have friends and family members that would be lost without my support. I opt for a sliding scale payment plan, usually dinner. At any rate, The New York Times has a nice piece on the impact of technophobes on the Internet (vis-a-vis MyDoom and other email-borne viruses) and their technologically adept friends and family."
. . . the biggest problem is the just-plain-dumbasses.
The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer. - Albert Einstein
i wear one of the thinkgeek "no i will not fix your computer" shirts
Sounds like you're on the other end of the technoadept/technophobe spectrum than you think.
When people ask me what I do know. I am a janitor. If they push, I am a high tech janitor.
The moment a prase like "I work computers" comes out of your mouth. Or "I work on Cisco stuff" you get a nice carpet bombing of questions and requests for help.
Just lie, it is not worth the fight. Fun/Pain ratio is way out of wack on this one.
Neck_of_the_Woods
#/usr/local/surf/glassy/overhead
My parents asked me yesterday how to rewind a dvd. I laughed... and then realized they weren't jokin. Then i was sad.
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Battlewang Where the large win big
this is a shocking misnomer. people who are technophobes write letters with fountain pens. the people this article is referring to are 'techno-dumbasses'.
Go read some bible: nubible.com
Since I can't help over the phone without an identical system to examine, I require they buy me identical hardware and software. This has been so successful that I'm prepared to expand my offer to the general public. I'm available for server and network support, as well, on a unit-for-unit basis. You've got 50 servers? Buy me 50 of the same and we're good to go.
The original article is a perfect example of why tech jobs are going offshore. I can get 10 guys in India instead of just one American nerd and the Indians won't lecture me about how inept a computer user I am and they don't mind when or how often I call. Indians: better, cheaper, faster.
And in his case he's got a Ph.D so he's already got a good amount of elitism going for him.
First off, does anyone else find it highly disturbing that a PhD is not only posting on Slashdot, but FIRST posting? I think the apocalypse is near.
Also, my only solution to the "family tech support" problem has been to either ignore the question (if it was via email or voice mail this is easy to do) or act surly when I answer it. Eventually, the family decides it's easier to just try and figure out the problem themselves, or ask someone else, then it is to deal with the hassle of having me fix it.
If your family wants you to be tech support, be BAD tech support, and eventually they'll stop asking.
I charge my family and friends a standard callout fee of 1 cookie, and then 1 cookie per hour onwards up to 4 hours where a sandwhich is then required. A beer is required on the 8th hour, as is another sandwhich.
It works very well.
I opt for a sliding scale payment plan, usually dinner
Thats very modest of you. I also know a family that I'm usually generous with. I opt for dinner when I tell them to flick the power switch to ON.
The other rates are:
Dinner + Lunch: When I tell them its a blackout and you cannot switch it ON yet
Ride to Work for a week: When I have to tell them that their Admin password is blank
Pay monthly rent: When I have to tell them that the CD drive is not for hot coffee cup holder
Adopt me: When I have to tell them that 'Any' key really means what it means
I am working on getting into the Will soon!
Free XBox, PS2
I thought of this sticker immediately when i rtfa.
I made my father get a pencil, tap it on the phone so I knew he had it, write my instructions down and READ THEM BACK to me when I was done dictating. This was the only way I could be sure he was going to listen to me after I told him the SAME THING 3 times. I snapped on the 4th...
Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
Macs don't have the virus or worm issues that Windows has, Macs work when you plug peripheral hardware into them
If Macs work so well, why the hell are you doing support for your friends?
In fact, I love that my weed dealer is techno-stupid. I average about an ounce a month from him for consulting fees :-). The fact of the matter is, he really isn't that stupid. It's not like he's calling me to install office, more like "Dude, can you help me with my fstab stuff, I can't write to my fat32 drive except as root". Nothing difficult, but not really intuitive. In reality, he is just too lazy to search Google groups. I say let'em be stupid, they pay my bills and buy my weed.
ymmv
Sure, the PC is moody and illogical, not you... right honey? Quit your still-standing and get to work. This dick won't suck itself...
Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
When people ask me what I do know. I am a janitor.... The moment a prase like "I work computers" comes out of your mouth. Or "I work on Cisco stuff" you get a nice carpet bombing of questions and requests for help.
Here's a thought: consider the possibility of spending $30 on business cards. When this feared carpet bombing of questions comes, hand out business cards & tell them to call you during office hours. If/when the phone rings, start the "billable hours" clock and get a lease on a Porsche.
At least, that's the way it worked when *I* was getting started.... What? It's not the mid-90's?? Oh, never mind... maybe you really should be a janitor; you'll have better job security.
--Mid
The Onion had a Point-Counterpoint that I think applies here: My Computer Hates Me
> some kind of 7337 hacker
teet hacker? that sounds painful!
Me: Now email me that file, the one on your desktop Them: How would it have got onto my deskop, I didn't print it out? True story.
Computers don't like it when they get anthropomorphized.
that particular sentence is particularly annoying. if you go to china, YOU learn chinese or hire a translator. otherwise you don't go to china.
You are obviously not an American. WE go to China and expect everyone to speak English!
-R
I take it a little farther, actually. If a driver is proceeding along a fast road and, approaching an intersection, makes a fast left-hand turn into the wrong lane of oncoming traffic, what will happen to him? There will be a head-on collision and he will die. Will the traffic signals stop him from doing that? No. The car? No. The road? No. Henry Ford? No.
... ... ...
:-)
So, you are advocating making screwing up on a computer lethal?
Okey, I'm for that. It doesn't seem like such a bad idea.
Norris/Palin 2012
Fact: We deserve leaders who can kick your ass and field dress your carcass.
Oh, but look at this! MAC/Simpsons@MM is actually an AppleScript worm that uses Microsoft products to propogate!
After finding that a couple of my neighbors felt comfortable calling me up any old time and getting an hour or two of free help, I've just learned to feign cluelessness when asked for technical advice.
Neighbor wants to know if he needs a firewall? I say "oh yes, they're very good. You should buy a cisco PIX".
Advice on a printer? "I don't really trust those inkjet printers. See if you can find a good Centronics dot-matrix printer. Of course, you'll want to write your own driver software, and..."
By then, their eyes usually glaze over and I can safely wander away.
Way to go to stick up for the IT guy and get into a fight with your wife. That's some true balls man (or just asking for pain). ;)
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Ive always thought true to the addage "The diffrence between a computer novice and expert, is that when a problem arises, the novice believes he has done something wrong. While the expert knows its all the Computers Fault" -Keys pressed randomly, any words that actually make sense is entirely coincidence.-
-Keys pressed randomly, any words that actually make sense are entirely a coincidence-
Here's what you should say when she does it:
"Man that sucks. That could ruin your whole trip and cost the company money"
"He really fouled that up".
"Typical. Those guys are idiots"
"What a jerk. He should have been more responsive"
Extra points for pretending to be sincere while you are saying it. They like that.
If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem
I'm sick of providing free tech support for Microsoft. But it is no all MS's fault. My parents and many of their friends are just lazy and cheap about keeping their computers secure. They bring all kinds of crazy/crappy application software home from work and install it, and then when they have a problem, I'm supposed to be an expert on accounting software to help them out, etc. At work, people install all kinds of spyware-laced crap like Hotbar and then wonder why their computer has slowed to a crawl. Most people are just idiots and shouldn't be allowed to use computers at all.
>> So, you are advocating making screwing up on a computer lethal? ... ... ...
...
Puts a whole new light on this Blue Screen of Death business, doesn't it
On the phone:
PHB: My computer doesn't start!
You: What happens?
PHB: There's some text on the screen, but no Windows.
You: What does the text say?
PHB: PLEASE INSERT SYSTEM DISK
You: Okay, press the button on the disk drive on the front of the computer, remove the floppy disk, then hit CTRL-ALT-DEL.
If you really had to drive to work for that, either you haven't had this problem yourself, or your colleagues aren't willing to tell you what you need to know to do your job.
I suffer from attention surplus disorder.
Even better would be some sort of "spidey sense" which would hit right before you do a:
.old .old not found
% rm -rf *
error: file
Even if it hurt, that would be a life saver.
Norris/Palin 2012
Fact: We deserve leaders who can kick your ass and field dress your carcass.
Maybe not lethal, but how about painful?
We were talking about that at work. First you need a copper or aluminum mouse and keyboard...
better still: "Do you really want to ignite the airbag? Yes No Cancel" :)
post is an honorable variation of this, for those who care.
I hope I didn't brain my damage.
delibarate incompetence
I hate those arrogant types who delibarately choose to be incapable of even checking whether the power lead has fallen out "because that's technical and I am a liberal arts graduate" - as if that is something for them to feel superior about.
I'll see your Constitution and raise you a Queen.
So I propose the Tech Support Mother Exchange. You answer my mom's tech questions, I'll answer yours. We'll both get fewer 3 am panic phone calls because our moms will have *gasp* listened the first time.
I've found that my posts don't format quite right w/o a sig.