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King Kong: Don't Mess With the Monkey

Noodles22 writes "King Kong: Don't Mess With the Monkey began as an audition piece for Eden Phillips. After adapting some scenes from Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh's 1996 King Kong screenplay, the natural appeal of the Kong story attracted more and more enthusiastic volunteers who generously gave of their time to make Kong a rich, funny short film. We are honoured to dedicate it to Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, Wingnut films, and all those involved in the Lord of the Rings films, and upcoming King Kong remake."

44 of 192 comments (clear)

  1. and.... by Digitus1337 · · Score: 5, Funny

    he'll climb to the top of the building and throw the ring to it's doom.

    1. Re:and.... by Richard_L_James · · Score: 2, Funny
      he'll climb to the top of the building and throw the ring to it's doom.

      Do you think he will let her take it off first? :)

  2. In other news by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    King Kong was one of Hitler's favourite movies. The other one was Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

    1. Re:In other news by Timmeh · · Score: 5, Interesting

      A quick googling also turns up Metropolis as Hitler's fav (knew that one), but also Gone with the Wind and The Lives of a Bengal Lancer (both news to me.) I wonder, not too much, what his favorite film really was...

    2. Re:In other news by JahToasted · · Score: 4, Insightful
      I always find these kind of things amusing... so the logic goes that since Hitler liked something, that thing must be evil.

      So if Hitler's favourite colour was blue, blue must be the colour of evil.

  3. The story by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    Posted AC for obvious reasons..

    --

    The Story
    KONG: Don't Mess with the Monkey is essentially a prequel to King Kong the feature film. They year is 1933. A party of three adventurous archaeologists make a first foray into the depths of the previously unexplored Skull Island which, rumour has it, is home to the dreaded great ape known as King Kong.

    Our film opens on a youthful and attractive Ann Darrow, an aspiring archaeologist on a Sumatran dig site. She is accompanied by her father, Lord Darrow, a world renowned archaeologist and leader of this first expedition to Skull Island. Walter Douglas, Lord Darrow's assistant, is the reluctant third member of the expedition.Douglas appears to be much more at home in the comfort and safety of the Oxford University Library than out in the field. Our expeditionary team is also supported by two jovial Sumatran natives, Motumbo and Mentawei, who are all too familiar the feared Cult of Kong.

    Kong: Don't Mess with the Monkey shows British science's first foray into the mystical and savage world of Skull Island. Our intrepid archeologists are stunned to discover the first evidence confirming rumours of the Kong cult and the ritual sacrifice employed by the natives to appease the beast; they are on the cusp of the archaeological discovery of a lifetime!

    Jack Driscoll, an unsavory American entrepreneur, is on Skull Island to fulfill a forestry contract. Driscoll recruits a workforce from the Sumtran natives of the island, and sets to work clearing one hundred thousand acres of rainforest.

    Once evidence of the re-emergence of Kong is revealed by our archeologists, the terrified natives abandon their villages and flee to the mountains to escape the return of the Wrath of Kong!

    An enraged Driscoll, blaming our archeologists for the loss of his workforce, demands they leave the island within an hour. Driscoll's expulsion threat follows immediately on Ann's unearthing of an ancient map revealing the location of the Sacrificial Site. Legend holds that at this site the great Kong ripped sacrificial victims' flesh to ribbons.

    In spite of Lord Darrow's stern protestations, Ann shows herself unable to resist the discovery of a lifetime when she compels an unwilling Douglas to join her desperate search for the Sacrificial Site. The clock is ticking on Driscoll's threat - but a mysterious roaring emanating from the jungle presents a far, far greater one...

  4. Re:Torrent here by sahonen · · Score: 5, Informative

    Pathetic karma whoring attempt. You didn't even point out the high-quality 137 MB version at http://www.kongmovie.com/Kong-Full-(DivX-HQ).avi.t orrent

    --
    Make me a friend and I'll mod you up
  5. Peter Jackson is officially jumping the shark by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The guy really should have taken a break after the massive effort that was LOTR filming and cutting. There are so many great ideas for movies that haven't been made and we have to go back to King Kong? I hope this doesn't ruin the reputation he's acquired.

    1. Re:Peter Jackson is officially jumping the shark by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Dude, that is what film directors do.

    2. Re:Peter Jackson is officially jumping the shark by Temsi · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Lookit... if you were a film director who had just pulled off the greatest gamble in film history, made a three-peat at the box office AND the Oscars (nominations at least), successfully taking three unfilmable books and made them into three monster hits AND critical darlings, got nominated for everything and won a boatload of awards, and made the studio and yourself more money than a mere mortal could ever spend, and you were then given carte blanche to make whatever film you wanted to make as your next project; are you telling me you wouldn't make the movie you'd wanted to make since you were six years old? Of course this is a masturbatory effort for PJ, but knowing him, he'll probably make it interesting, and people will line up to watch it, good or bad.
      And please remember that he's not making this movie for us, he's making it for himself. After bringing us the LOTR trilogy, I'd say he earned it.

      --
      -- This sig for rent.
  6. Mirrored download page with links... by antdude · · Score: 5, Informative
    I am pretty sure King Kong can't handle /. traffic himself. ;) Here's the copy of the download page with links (Bittorrent too) for /. users:

    Download The King Kong Movie

    To play the DivX verisons you will need the latest Divx 5.1 bundle and at least an 800Mhz processor. Any earlier versions of divx might cause the player to lock up.

    We reccomend the Normal Quality version for people on slow links or who want to see the movie quickly. To save it to your Hard drive right click on the file and select "save as" or "save link target as" and select a place to save the file.

    Mirror 1

    [Kong Full Movie] High Quality DivX 5.1 : 13 meg

    Mirrors for NZ users.

    Mirror 1

    [Kong Full Movie] Normal Quality DivX 5.1 : 85 meg
    [Kong Full Movie] High Quality DivX 5.1 : 137 meg

    Filesharing links

    You can grab the movie via various filesharing networks. We recomend Bittorrent as it is fast, easy to use and saves a lot of load on our servers. You need to install the windows client from here. It intergrates into your browser so you can click the bittorrent link below.

    [Kong Full Movie] BITTORRENT : Normal Quality DivX 5.1 : 85 meg
    [Kong Full Movie] BITTORRENT : High Quality DivX 5.1 : 137 meg

    Download the King Kong TrailerMirror for US and international users.

    Mirror 1

    [Kong Trailer] High Quality DivX 5.1 : 13 meg

    Mirrors for NZ users.

    Mirror 1

    [Kong Trailer] High Quality DivX 5.1 : 13 meg
    [Kong Trailer] Half Size DivX 5.1 : 5.2 meg
    [Kong Trailer] Low Quality MPEG : 12 meg

    Filesharing links

    You can grab the movie via various filesharing networks. We recomend Bittorrent as it is fast, easy to use and saves a lot of load on our servers. You need to install the windows client from here. It intergrates into your browser so you can click the bittorrent link below.

    [Kong Trailer] BITTORRENT : High Quality DivX 5.1 : 12 meg
    [Kong Trailer] BITTORRENT : Half Size DivX 5.1 : 5.2 meg
    [Kong Trailer] BITTORRENT : Low Quality MPEG : 12 meg

    --
    Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
  7. King Kong remake is going to be great by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was so worried about the King Kong remake like with Planet of the Apes, but Tim Burton's epic masterpiece proved me wrong. I suspect I'll be just has surprised with this remake. The scuttlebutt I hear is that they've hip-hopped up the new ape by 10% and added a new companion character called poochie or something so it will be great.

    1. Re:King Kong remake is going to be great by 1iar_parad0x · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Ocean's Eleven did pretty well at the box office. It was a remake. I thought the Rat Pack version was better. Some remakes do okay. The more detached the viewing public is from the original source the better. I distinctly remember watching Planet of the Apes as a kid. However, I only have fuzzy memories when it comes to King Kong or Mighty Joe Young (or any other ape movie).

      I wonder if I could mod an old version of Donkey Kong before King Kong hits the theaters.

      --
      What do you mean my sig is repetitive? What do you mean my sig is repetitive? What do you mean....
  8. BitTorrent Links by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative
    In case the site gets slashdotted, here are all the bittorrent links to the kong movie and trailers:

    Kong Full Movie:
    High Quality DivX 5.1 : 137 meg
    Normal Quality DivX 5.1 : 85 meg

    Kong Movie Trailer:
    High Quality DivX 5.1 : 12 meg
    Half Size DivX 5.1 : 5.2 meg
    Low Quality MPEG : 12 meg

    (posted anonymously to avoid karma whoring accusations.)

  9. What is this? by CelticWhisper · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hey, now, this is Slashdot! Where are all the computer-related stories? NO MORE MONKEY BUSINESS!

    --
    Help protect civil rights from abuse by the TSA - visit TSA News Blog.
    http://www.tsanewsblog.com
  10. Don't Mess With the Monkey - It's about a film... by Richard_L_James · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thank goodness as for a second I thought this was yet another single geek advice article on valentines... !

  11. Re:Torrent here by LearnToSpell · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'll see your pathetic karma whoring attempt, and raise you one! High-quality Clicky.

  12. apparently we differ on some definitions: by chimericalburst · · Score: 5, Insightful

    not only was that not "rich" or "funny" but those were the LONGEST TEN MINUTES OF MY LIFE

  13. I'm such a nerd... by IchBinDasWalross · · Score: 5, Funny

    I keep thinking "Donkey Kong" and not "King Kong" while reading these comments. Maybe I spent too many happy hours as a young child with a SNES controller in hand.

    --
    Mod "Overrated" instead of replying "I disagree with you," you coward.
  14. don't mess with the monkey? by FrancisR · · Score: 3, Funny
  15. The Wrath of Kong? by TravelSizedMonkey · · Score: 3, Funny

    KONNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!

    Seriously, they mentioned "the wrath of kong" twice, but they never did the yelling. I had to get it out of my system.

  16. Anti-climax for fans of PJ by adept256 · · Score: 3, Interesting

    This is going to be a big dissappointment for fans of LOTR expecting more of the same from Peter Jackson.

    The LOTR trilogy contains a beautifully realised fantasy world and an epic story with way more material than you need for a movie. King Kong is a just a fifty year old screenplay.

    Why not come up with a new idea instead of remaking a fifty-year old idea? They want the name recognition and the fanbase. I wonder, if you asked five years ago, who's name would be more recognizable, Gandalf or King-Kong?

    I think the big difference is that LOTR is a 900 page epic and King-Kong is a 70 minute screenplay, and it's going to show in the characters and dialog. Not to deride Peter's directing talent, but without the genius of Tolkein's story-telling I don't think his genius with directing is going to make the 100-foot monkey movie fly.

    I read somewhere (sorry no link) that as animated characters become more realistic, they reach a stage where they are so realistic that it's disturbing and (paradoxically) seems more unrealistic. The gollum character got around this because he was supposed to be disturbing... or something... anyone find the link for that? Anyhow, how would they achieve the same effect with king-kong?

    Don't forget what a flop the remake of Godzilla was.

    --

    I ran a benchmark on my quantum computer, now I can't find it anywhere!
    1. Re:Anti-climax for fans of PJ by adept256 · · Score: 2, Informative

      to http://www.suntimes.com/output/answ-man/sho-sunday -ebert11.html

      --

      I ran a benchmark on my quantum computer, now I can't find it anywhere!
    2. Re:Anti-climax for fans of PJ by ahaning · · Score: 4, Informative

      The DVD for Finding Nemo has some interesting extras. One of them is with one of the directors (or someone in charge). He talks about how they went scuba diving and took video. They then gave the video to their CG people who recreated a scene from underwater looking to the water's surface. When played side-by-side, it was hard to tell the two apart, and so they had to work on making it believable that it could exist, while also making it obviously not real.

      I also recall something along the same lines with the princess in Shrek, they made her too realistic, and then had to make her more "fake".

      But, it really depends on what you're animating, though. I saw the Final Fantasy movie that was supposed to look all real, and it was good animation, but just "not right."

      --
      Withdrawal before climax is very ineffective and those who try this are usually called "parents."
    3. Re:Anti-climax for fans of PJ by robson · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Fakezilla was a flop simply because it WASN'T Godzilla. They took TOO many liberties with their Godzilla design. I won't even get into how easy they made it to kill Godzilla or the whole breeding thing they came up with.

      Of course Toho, the creator and only true maker of Godzilla films, has made some big mistakes as well(Godzilla 2000 for instance, one of if not the most boring of the Godzilla films)


      I've always suspected it would've been recieved better if it'd been billed as the movie it was actually a remake of -- The Beast from 20000 Fathoms.

      (Although it still wouldn't have lived up to their remake of War of the Worlds ;)

    4. Re:Anti-climax for fans of PJ by BiOFH · · Score: 3, Insightful

      This is going to be a big dissappointment for fans of LOTR expecting more of the same from Peter Jackson.

      Well aren't you a cheery ray of sunshine and opinion.

      1) If a LOTR fan goes into King Kong expecting some relation to LOTR just because Jackson is involved, he or she deserves to be let down. He or she is an idiot.

      2) So, Peter Jackson must now only choose projects which relate to or will appeal to LOTR fans lest he let them down when they wander aimlessly into a theatre expecting hobbits.

      3) People still love LOTR, people still love King Kong. Your personal preferences notwithstanding, people seem interested in both.

      4) "not to deride Peter's directing talent" What? Saying his new movie, which hasn't been completed yet, is going to be a flop, that he's making a poor choice, that isn't deriding his abilities?

      5) I'm sorry... what the hell did Peter Jackson have to do with the Godzilla remake or its being a flop? Nothing. Absolutely freaking nothing.

      So you love LOTR. Yay for you. But this pontificating is about as weighty as a Star Trek vs Star Wars argument.

      I also read something 'somewhere': hot air rises. Judging from the +5 Interesting mod on this puffery, I'd say that theory is proving true.

      --
      - I am made of meat.
  17. Re:Don't Mess With the Monkey - It's about a film. by Vargasan · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think there should be a Steve Balmer quip around here somewhere...

    --
    Putting the romance back into necromancer.
  18. of FANIMATRIX fame by bahamutirc · · Score: 4, Informative

    It should be noted that these are the same people who did Fanimatrix.

  19. Apparently they didn't consult with a lawyer... by telstar · · Score: 4, Interesting
    "Music used within this film was utilized as a gesture of respect and admiration for the artists and labels involved.
    No financial gain whatsoever can be attained from this film and/or any copyrighted materials that appear within it.

    We hope this film will help further promote the works of the artists and labels featured here. Any objection to the usage
    of copyrighted materials within this film will be met with immediate compliance and complete removal of the offending material without question."
    • So they've basically admitted that they never asked for permission to use any of the music in the film ... and they explain that it's okay ... because it was used out of respect, and they won't make any money on the project anyway. (I could've told them that after watching it) But they promise to remove the music if anyone complains. Nice to know they'll close the barn doors after the horses have already left...
  20. Why King Kong, Peter? by HarveyBirdman · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I say give Jackson the money to do Zelazny's Amber series.

    --
    --- Ban humanity.
    1. Re:Why King Kong, Peter? by Fjornir · · Score: 2, Insightful
      ...dude. I can't tell if thats a good idea or not.. So much of the Amber books is Corwin thinking to himself and scheeming, not sure how that would play on the bigscreen... And the plot is pretty convoluted..

      And besides, how many people would sit through five years of Corwin locked in the dungeon, anyways?

      --
      I want a new world. I think this one is broken.
  21. another DV feature, I assume by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    *
    Don't read this if you want to enjoy the film. This is critique for the teaser trailer, not the film. If you are still reading this, you're free to continue, but don't bitch about me being such a severe critic.
    *

    I wasn't impressed by the trailer at all. it looks like another DV feature made by another self-acclaimed director-wannabee. THe trailer consists of mere 20 cuts (live shots) and several titles with busy typesets, some of the live shots are just static scenery shots, and ALL actions take place in one location. Cinematography (video-) didn't intensify the suspense successfully when danger is coming close to the characters --only with help of sound effects does the teaser highten suspense marginally. Actors' --especially the female lead-- performance is weak. In combination with poorly executed cinematography, it is a tough sell. Overall teaser has too little to show, no surprise, no eye-catching events. Was I teased? --no.

    Sorry to be critical, but I've seen many of this type of DV features/shorts, and this particlar one doesn't stand out from the rest. I decided not to spend my time downloading and watching it. Nevertheless, I want to congratulate the people involved in this project for completion of the project and I do acknowledge their painstaking efforts to complete this DV film.

    If "to make a film" is the final goal for a film maker, his work is accomplished once film is made. "To entertain audience" is the goal, there will be no finishing line to that goal. Life is learning.

  22. The Ending (revised) by dexter+riley · · Score: 4, Funny

    I am pretty sure King Kong can't handle /. traffic himself. ;)

    Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was Slashdot killed the beast!

  23. Sweet by Jade+E.+2 · · Score: 2, Funny

    That was really useful. Not often do I get to add 5 more actors to my "Don't see anything these people are in" list at once.

  24. Another one done to death by simetra · · Score: 3, Insightful
    == insert any and all Shakespeare here ==

    Frankenstein

    Dracula

    Jekyl & Hyde

    King Kong.

    PLEASE, enough of this recycled crap already. Someone please come up with something new... Or I will, damn it!

    --

    "Would it kill you to put down the toilet seat?" -- Maya Angelou
  25. Re:So if it stinks... by Bones3D_mac · · Score: 3, Informative

    Hmm, looks like no one has a sense of humor... or at least is in need of a history lesson:

    Nintendo was originally sued by Universal over "Donkey Kong" and it's similarities to "King Kong" in both plot and name. However, Nintendo later discovered that Universal never actually owned the rights to "King Kong" to begin with, thus invalidating the suit.

    --


    8==8 Bones 8==8
  26. Re:Breaking News: by geekoid · · Score: 2, Funny

    Geeks go Ape after hearing 'Geeks Spank The Monkey'

    And now, here's Mojo Jojo with the weather, MoJo.

    Thanks Diane, in todays forcast there is Doom! and Daspair! at the hands of I, MOJO JOJO, and it will be partly cloudy, the sky will have some sun, and some clouds, but more sun then clouds, which is why I MOJO JOJO said partly cloudy, and not Partly sunny.
    Now I am off to cause Doom and despair, and then RULE THE WORLD! Diane.

    This just in Mojo Jojo has been captured by the Power Puff Girls.

    --
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  27. can we by geekoid · · Score: 3, Funny

    punch the monkey?

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
  28. oh no by ziggles · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Please don't tell me we're going to hear about every thing related to Peter Jackson now. Ok, I gave you breathing room on Lord of the Rings since that's obviously nerd territory. But King Kong? What's the relevance?

  29. coitus interruptus for LotRs fans, not PJ fans. by kirkjobsluder · · Score: 4, Insightful

    This is going to be a big dissappointment for fans of LOTR expecting more of the same from Peter Jackson.

    It seems to me that there is an inherent contradiction between the title of your post and the first sentence. Jackson made his career with edgy genre-busting films. In fact, LotR is in many ways his worst work in the last 10 years. That does not mean that it's not a fine pice of work, but compared to Dangerous Creatures and even The Frighteners the story is lacking. Really not any fault of the writers, it was just the naure of that wondrous hydra of a narrative that Tolkien created, that you really can't condense or summarize it successfully.

    The nice thing about Kong (70 years old, not 50 years old), is that since it was written as a story to be told from start to finish in 100 minutes, it is the perfect size for a film adaptation. There is enough there to fill the attention of the audience for an afternoon, with enough wiggle room for Jackson to put his own stamp on it.

    LotR fans are not necessarily Peter Jackson fans and Peter Jackson fans are not necessarily fans of LotR. I'd much rather see him do another Dangerous Creatures or Forgotten Silver (that managed to bamboozle fair number of New Zealaders into thinking that he really did discover that all of the major inovations we take for granted with film were invented in New Zealand and lost.) In fact, Jackson quipped that he promised Fran Walsh, his partner (professionally and personally) a low-budget, low-stress art film.

    Don't forget what a flop the remake of Godzilla was.

    The big problem with Godzilla is that the original Godzilla was a product of a specific time (post-WWII reconstruction) and place (Japan). Godzilla just does not translate well.

    But on the other hand, we see a remake of The Wolfman about every 10 years, a remake of Dracula every 10 years. A remake of Hamlet ever generation. Why not do the Gilglamesh of monster movies, King Kong?

  30. Bah! by jackal! · · Score: 3, Funny

    There are only three real monsters:

    Dracula, Blackula, and Son of Kong

    --

    Who moderates the meta-moderators?

  31. Some comments.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Our expeditionary team is also supported by two jovial Sumatran natives, Motumbo and Mentawei, who are all too familiar the feared Cult of Kong.

    Hmmmm. Sumatra is in Indonesia. They choose the wrong name: Motumbo doesnt sound like Sumatran name, more like African. Mentawei sound like Borneo (another part of Indonesia) name. Also native Sumatran people doesnt look like India at all.

    And if they really on Sumatra during 1933. Hopefully they prepared to meet the Sumatran Tiger. They still exist until now, and they are *a lot* in 1933. Not to mention the bears. And the guns, Indonesia was on war at that time, guerillas everywhere.

    (note: I havent watch the movie, so my comments can be wrong).

  32. Obi Wan by cyberb0b · · Score: 3, Funny

    The sound supervisor did an excellent job. I'm a big fan of Obi Wan Kenobi's work. :)

    Did anyone else notice the humorous credits?

  33. Re:Those examples are all stories about man by styrotech · · Score: 2, Funny


    Interesting that you bring this up. LotR had a main character capable of only three expressions (eye wide, eye moving, eye glaring).

    Just like Sauron, King Kong is a plot device. The real drama happens with the people around Kong.


    Oh you meant Sauron, for a second there I thought you were talking about Frodo.