Working Around Bad Luck on the Resume?

Dodger asks: "A year ago I was laid off from my job after 2 1/2 years, shortly after the product I was working on shipped. Later that year, a company moved me 1500 miles from Texas to California, to start working on a promising project, just to have the plug pulled by the corporation that funded it five weeks later, which resulted in another layoff. Now, there's a period of job seeking followed by a five week period of employment, followed by the current job seeking period on my resume. When the companies I interview with ask about that situation I simply explain, while trying not to whine or complain. What do other Slashdot readers do to make 'bad luck' (or bad employer choices) look less bad on their resume, and sound less bad in interviews?"

Comments

Quick and Dirty

[Anonymous Coward]

If the person interviewing you is a white coder who reads Slashdot tell them your job was outsourced.

If anyone knew

[smccurry]

If anyone knew, they would probably be working rather than reading slashdot.

Re:If anyone knew

[Prior Restraint]

Hear! Hear!

On my resume, my employment history tends to look something like this:

• 1998-2001: Company 1
• 2001-Present: Company 2

Everyone who interviews me simply assumes I've had continuous employment, and I see no need to disabuse them of that notion.

Re:If anyone knew

[Wolfier]

Thanks for the tips.

I'll know exactly what happens when I'm interviewing the next candidate who says this.

Re:If anyone knew

[Anonymous Coward]

I think all job seekers should go on zero-value interviews for jobs they already know they don't want. Even if you don't want to do this while you're looking, try it to stay entertained between your job acceptance and your start date.

I had a panel interview once in this type of situation: For some reason the employer made an appointment a month out, and in the intervening time I had found and accepted a great job. I didn't cancel the interview, because hey, it gets me out of the house - and maybe it's even a better job. You never know, right?

When I walked in and found it was a panel interview, I just immediately got the idea of providing no new information. Whatever they asked, I would give a politician-style answer (e.g. one that seems like a solid answer but doesn't really say much), and then redirect the question to another one of the panelists.

So basically, any topic that was raised would "somehow" turn into a discussion (or even argument!) between two or more of the interviewers. This was like shooting fish in a barrel: There was so little challenge to it that after a while it got dull. So, to spice it up a bit, I made a (shocking!) comment: I told them I didn't appreciate being brought into a situation where they were airing their own internal issues instead of actually interviewing me. They all apologized and said they would stick to the point. After that, it became *much* harder to make them argue with each other without revealing what I was doing - but I still pulled it off a couple times.

They actually offered me the job. Idiots. I'm sure your panelists are *much* smarter...

Re:If anyone knew

[kinnell]

Say that the period of unemployment was actually you being a freelance IT consultant

Even better, without actually claiming anything directly, hint that you were employed as a freelance CIA operative doing top secret undercover work which didn't officially exist, and even if it did, you wouldn't be able to talk about it. They'll never be able to prove otherwise. Or even just answer every question with "I'm not at liberty do discuss that part of my life".

Re:If anyone knew

[YouHaveSnail]

You can slide furthur on bullshit, than you can on concrete


Guess he forgot to tell you the down sides to this philosophy:

1. When sliding on bullshit, you mostly go downhill.

2. You end up covered in, well, shit.

3. It's hard to find a job (or a date) when you're full of shit.

Re:If anyone knew

[Evil MarNuke]

1. Sliding on concrete is a short run before a sharp drop off, the curb.

2. Shit is easy to wash off. Scars are hard to hide.

3. You haven't done a lot of dating have you?

CowboyNeal Defense

[Bishop, Martin]

When they ask questions of prior jobs that were unsatisfactory, simply yell "That's none of your concern, you insensative clod!"

I just needed some personal time...

[Anonymous Coward]

...to bond with my fellow inmates.

Just don't tell them the truth...

[beni1207]

...that you got fired for looking at goatse at work

Dogbert

[binaryDigit]

Reminds me of a funny Dogbert strip:

Always put impressive but impossible to verify jobs on your resume.

Employer: So Mr. Dogbert, it says here that you worked as a senior spy for the CIA.

Dogbert: Yes, and I was told to kill anyone who asks for details about it.

Impress them

[Anonymous Coward]

With your "knowledge" of 50 programming languages and dozen operating systems, not to mention your ability to network 60 Xbox's, which ironically, are their prerequisites anyways. :p

Creative

[lukewarmfusion]

From plausible to absurd:

I was spending time with my family
Extended vacation
Self-education/Wanted to learn something new
I was writing a book
Home renovation/improvment
Spiritual retreat in the desert
Creating and failing with dot-com startup
Using exfoliation to remove tattoo
Hunted down Steve Bartman to "express my feelings"

Take your pick.

Re:-1 Troll, but:

[LearnToSpell]

It is best if you can account for all of your time while unemployed.

What if you can account for most of it, barring some minor blackout periods where you wake up in the back of a hardware store, naked from the waist down lying in a pool of your own vomit? Theoretically speaking, I mean.

Works for me every time.

[Kenja]

Tell them you had to take an extended leave of absence due to a death in your family. If they try to verify this, kill a family member.

Re:Works for me every time.

[sharkey]

If they try to verify this, kill a family member.

If you have no family, go down to the morgue and claim the first unidentified body as your dear departed $RELATIVE.

The best thing to do...

[jay-oh-eee!]

The best thing to do would to simply explain to them that the man's trying to hold you down. Also, that you'll program for food.

Hey, if they read slashdot, you're trouble is over

[i)ave]

... just tell them, " I'm glad you brought this up, and even happier you read /., because they actually posted my submission on this very topic and an hour later I had excellent karma "

Re:fake it

[Anonymous Coward]

Yah i know, could you talk to her about that?

Re:In the interview

[somethinghollow]

just write your posts in pseudo code and maybe they will be perplexed, yet comforted that you are familiar enough with programming that it is your perferred method of communicating.

Wait. Did I say post? I meant interview. Sorry about that ;)

Kill a family member, eh?

[sczimme]

One from your family or the interviewer's?

I guess it would work either way...

Say you were drinking heavily during that time...

[NotQuiteReal]

... and don't remember much.

That will leave more jobs for the rest of us!

It's all in how you say it

[BinBoy]

A year ago I was laid off from my job after 2 1/2 years, shortly after the product I was working on shipped.

Took a sabbatical after successfully shipping the product.

Later that year, a company moved me 1500 miles from Texas to California, to start working on a promising project, just to have the plug pulled by the corporation that funded it five weeks later, which resulted in another layoff.

Helped guide a failed project to a close with minimal loss to the company.

Now, there's a period of job seeking followed by a five week period of employment, followed by the current job seeking period on my resume.

Took time to improve skills and consider various job opportunities.

Re:My Resume Looks Much Worse -- How I Deal

[compactable]

one company I ethically could not work for (owner was trying to bilk millionaires out of investment cash)

Well, duh, who wants the resume stain formerly know as SCO in their "where I've worked" section ... (-;