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SCO Postpones Lawsuit, Now Threatening Two
zzxc writes "In a surprise turn of events, SCO says that they need more time to prepare an announcement of who they are going to sue. According to SCO, the lawsuits will be announced tomorrow morning shortly before a phone-in conference in which will be outlining their financial report. You can call 1-800-818-5264 code 141144 Wednesday at 9:00am MST to join in with your questions, or listen to the webcast. They also have said that these first two lawsuits will be against companies that hold SCO Unix licenses. (EV1.net servers or Lindows?)"
They freak me out.
They also have said that these first two lawsuits will be against companies that hold SCO Unix licenses. (EV1.net servers or Lindows?)"
Huh? That can't be right. How could they be suing EV1 when they've already paid their extort^K^K^K^Klicense money.
"We will sue TWO of them against the gates of the courtroom...IN ONE HOUR!"
Knunov
Why do users with IDs under 100,000 or over 700,000 usually have the most worthwhile comments?
And I'm addicted to SCO news stories.
is for SCO to sue SCO. They are not a tech company but they use Linux. (go check Netcraft....they have actually dabbled in BSD for a bit on www.sco.com)
No trees were harmed in the composition of this; however, numerous electrons were inconvenienced.
After being in the revenge business for so long....
How about being the Dread Pirate Roberts?
Probably the same thing we did before SCO came onto the scene.
Masturbate furiously.
Huzzah!
They also have said that these first two lawsuits will be against companies that hold SCO Unix licenses. (EV1.net servers or Lindows?)"
Since EV1.net is in the process of climbing into bed with Microsoft, and SCO has been warming itself under the same blankets for quite some time, I think it more likely that Lindows will be sent to the doghouse.
Then again, in a vain attempt to turn back the tide of hatred directed at it, SCO might turn around and sue Microsoft. What a twist that would be!
Tubal-Cain smokes the white owl.
I think SCO is waiting for the media outlets to sign and return the NDA before they let them know who the lawsuits are against.
We are going to postpone our suing of two companies but tomorrow we are going to sue THREE!
The #1 spot for Wired News' Vaporware Awards in 2004 goes to:
SCO for their "still pending" lawsuit! Congratulations guys!
Yeah, so that means they're one of very few companies that's stupid enough to be a suitable defendant.
"Thank you for your loyalty, have a lawsuit"
in two months they'll be threatening to sue everyone on the planet the day after.
It would be over so fast that Darl's head would be spinning like Linda Blair's in "The Exorcist".
I wonder if my SCO spoof will be the target
MoFscker
Could they, would they, please be incredibly stupid enough to sue McDonald's, whose German operations are moving to SuSE. Talk about being crushed....
Actually, slashdot blew a perfect opportunity to post a dupe that wasn't a dupe (for once). "SCO says they'll sue an end user tomorrow" was a headline yesterday and could have been an equally valid headline today. :)
:p ;)
In any case, I'd explain how you can set your preferences so you don't have to waste your time on SCOldera stories if you don't find them interesting, but since you're "ObviousGuy", I don't have to point out something so obvious to you, do I?
The difference is what happens with the ethanol. Most likely we'll be drinking it, but there's a slight chance that SCO will win and we'll end up using it as an accelerant to get the SCO bonfire started.
Mmm . . . . . evil-and-cheap-liquor-flavored marshmallows.
Only in a Slashdot fantasy can a Slackware install turn into several hours of sex . . . . .
they must have demotivator posters at the SCO home office...
Procrastination Despair Demotivator
Despair litho Idiocy also fits...
e.
Build Your Own PVR/HTPC news, reviews, &
Darl: "Thanks everybody for listening in on this financial meeting. We've got some really good numbers to talk about today. Our core product, Turbo Litigation Plus, is doing very well right now. We've got more penetration in the court room market than any of our competitors and we feel that things are only going to get better from here on out."
Investor: "Can I just say that I love what this latest release had done to stock prices. I'm sleeping on a bed of money at home right now."
Darl: "That's great to hear. We're glad your happy, but please hold your comments until I'm finished speaking."
Investor: "..."
Darl: "Right now I'd like to announce a couple more features that we've added to Turbo Litigation Plus."
Listeners: A hush....Pent up excitement...Maniacal greed...
Darl: "First, we've decided to add Hasbro to our list of targets. We've discovered that the substance that give's Nerf(TM) toys their "Nerfiness", if you will, is actually part of the Intellectual Property of SCO in a very literal sense. It's what makes up 90% of our brains over here."
Investor: "Excellent!"
Darl: "Please man! *slaps the table* Let me speak!"
Investor: "..."
Darl: "Secondly, after a toss up between Ronco, the maker of the indespensible Door Saver(TM) which of course was actually invented by Billy over here, and McDonalds, maker of the McDarl, we've chosen to add, wait for it, ourselves!"
Listeners: Gasp!
Darl: "Yes folks, we're going to sue ourselves. I mean think about it, we own all our own Intellectial Property, we only have to pay half as much in lawyer fees, and I love to cross examine myself."
Listeners: Applause
Darl: "Thank you all for your time. SCO Rules!"
Advisor: "Darl..."
Darl: "Sorry."
One bad monkey spoils the whole barrel.
kinda reminds me of that joke sign that says "free beer tomorrow".
"sue you tomorrow!"
Didn't know it took so much time for making up a Chewbacca Defense.
"There is a high possibility we will be announcing two!" said Blake Stowell Tuesday, while placing his pinky in front of his mouth as pictured here
"Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney
Right. SCO lawyers use this formula:
S=(1+X)i
where
S= number of Lawsuits they're going to file
X= number of days following the original announcement
i= no explanation needed
Thus, S is always going to be an imaginary number.
you sound more like a terrorist to me!! Thinkforyourselfer!!!
Religion is a gateway psychosis. -- Dave Foley
Although SCO's actions have attracted some negative attention from the Open Source Community, many High Scool teacers are exhuberant about the company's recent actions. Bob Frampton, High School calculus teacher at Frederick Davis High said of SCO's recent actions, "It's just great, they're literally changing the way we teach mathematics to our future leaders. It's only thanks to SCO that we can ask exciting new problems such as, 'If every day SCO doubles the number of lawsuits they claim to file the following day, how many days will it take before nobody cares?' or, 'If SCO doesn't play this thing out right, how long will it take before the Fed nails them with fraud? Extra Credit: how many board members will get caught? Support your answer by proof.'"
Not just math teachers are thrilled, though. Says Jane Yargood of another local High School, "Darl McBride really deserves a cookie, it's so great that we can teach students about logical fallacies through real world context!" With the end of this somewhat less than momentous case nowhere in sight, it's good to see that some of our educators can find the silver lining in any situation.
`which fortune`
This reminds me of the "Free Ice Cream Tomorrow" sign that a guy had at his ice cream store in the early 1900's... when asked about why he wasn't giving ice cream away even though the sign had been up for over a day already, his response was always the same "because it's not tomorrow yet... it's still today".
File under 'M' for 'Manic ranting'
"You gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite?" -- Mr. Blonde "Reservoir Dogs"
each company they sue can countersue for defamation
And so? What exactly do they have to loose in the process?
Write boring code, not shiny code!
That's a laugh. Can I mod the article +1 Funny?
I still think someone should drop Darl a line and suggest suing Canopy Group. The press release could read something like, "Since we've already shot ourselves in one foot trying to sue IBM we've decided to shoot ourself in the other foot by suing our parent company." I'll even copyleft this post so they can use it to make the announcement. This should save them that extra time they claim to need.
>> It's a safe bet that who ever they are going
;-)
>> after is in that list.
I'm not sure about that. Does the Vatican run Linux? That's about as close as we can get to: "SCO sues God" which seems to be the logical conclusion to all of this.
The "ever-pending" lawsuits remind me of the sign you see in some bars:
Free beer (tomorrow)
8% of Linux developers think SCO's case has merit
;-)
9% of the world's geologists think the world is flat. I pulled that statistic out of the same place you pulled your's
5. "Darl McBride, -1 Troll!"
4. "New SCO docs at www.tubg...."
3. "Can someone help me fix a Perl script?"
2. "Bad news everyone, Stephen King is dead."
And the number one comment will be:
"Fuck you Darl!"
BTW, I'll be the one with the air horn.
"And a voice was screaming: 'Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?'" - HST
Thier loose ass, you loser.
(loose and lose are not the same word)
I was in Walmart today, and the friendly greeter dude told me that Walmart struck a deal with SCO such that the 10th and 17th customers to order Linux pre-install systems tomorrow are getting sued for $14,345! A little surprise from Darl & Co.
Open Source: I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
Slashdot: where racism against Indians is OK...
I think this is an unfair generalization. Geronimo, Cochise, and Sitting Bull are some of my favorite figures in history.
It's as bad as saying we're totally US centric. Sheesh.
From the rumor mill. Suicide CEO Darl McBribe sues Merill Lynch and Credit Suisse First Boston, announced at a financial press briefing for the embattled company. Sends Wall Street reeling!!! Analysts left scratching their heads.
How come Slashdot never gets Slashdotted?
Here is a little lawsuit we wrote
You might want to read it code for code
SCO worried, Geeks happy..
In every court we have some trouble
When you got IBM on your back it's double
SCO worried, Geeks happy........
Ain't no way to take back what we said
We slept in it, now we have to make our bed
SCO worried, Geeks happy
The land lord say our rent is late
The irony is, he may have to litigate
SCO worried, Geeks happy
Look at me I'm unhappy
SCO worried, Geeks happy
The press got ahold of my phone number
Nonstop pissed off people call me
Makes Slashdot so, happy
SCO worried, Geeks happy
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got no code, makes you smile
SCO worried, Geeks happy
We doing nothing but worry
Our stockholders faces all frown
And that will bring our stock price down
So don't worry, SCO's unhappy....
There is this little company summons we wrote
I hope you tear it apart code by code
Like good little Slashdotters
SCO worried, Geeks happy
Listen to what I say
In your life don't expect no trouble
But when a company drives you to worry
DDOS them on he double
SCO worried, Geeks happy......
Don't worry just do it, be happy
Put a smile on your face
Bring our website down like this
Don't worry, we're almost bankrupt and this nonsense will pass
SCO worried, Geeks happy
SCO worried, Geeks happy
Yo Grark
Canadian Bred with American Buttering
I did, because SCO has a history of doing the dumbest thing possible, and suing another huge company is even dumber than not suing after they said they would.
Well..
It appears, Yes..
Lets see what SCO does with this one...
sh-2.05a$ telnet www.vatican.va 80
Trying 212.77.1.243...
Connected to www.vatican.va.
Escape character is '^]'.
GET / HTTP/1.0
HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Date: Wed, 03 Mar 2004 04:11:56 GMT
Server: Apache/1.3.27 (Unix) mod_ssl/2.8.9 OpenSSL/0.9.6g PHP/4.2.2
Last-Modified: Tue, 03 Sep 2002 15:30:18 GMT
If religous zealots don't believe in Evolution, then why are they so worried about bird flu?
Is this a new business model or a non existant one?
This is a pretty old business model, but it's been cleverly retooled to remove the reliance on pilfering of underpants.
Don't you wish your girlfriend was a geek like me?
I am absolutely driven by people saying I can't do something.
..quite possibly with an eye to migrating from SCO's products. Darl, there is no way in hell you would win a suit against McDonalds. Their legal department would burn the SCO pimple right off of Utah's ass. Go ahead Darl. Sue McDonalds. I double dog dare you. You can't sue McDonalds and win.
Remember that kid we all knew when we were growing up that would take any dare? It was fun at first but you had to watch what you said around him after a while. Who wanted to explain to the kid's mom that he dared him to jump in front of a train? Darl seems to be just that sort of easily manipulated hothead.
Darl is no little kid. He's a rather nasty adult. He's already walked up to the biggest bully on the block and punched him in the nose. What else can we goad him into doing?
I like another poster's suggestion.
Hey Darl! We know you read Slashdot. So I'm going to make a dare with you. McDonalds is your largest customer. They even have a contractual relationship with you. And we all know what SCO says contracts are for. McDonalds has also been piloting Linux POS terminals in Germany at least.
BM, Sun Microsystems, Hewlett-Packard, Silicon Graphics, numerous universities and others.
:)
It's a safe bet that who ever they are going after is in that list.
Safe bet? Thank you, Captain Obvious!
"Lawsuits Pending [tm]"
now we need to go OSS in diesel cars
OK, I give.
How do I feign surprise?
Before??
Why do you think so many Slashdotters are aware of the one-handed Dvorak keyboard layout?
Quoth the poster:
Unfortunately the worst enemy is one who has nothing to lose. SCO knows all their bases belong to IBM and if they lose (which they will) there will be nothing else left.
Excuse me, sir, but I must ask you for your geek card.
All their base are belong to IBM.
IBM to SCO: "You have no chance to survive make your time."
I have more and more emphaty for this company, because they turn out to be just like me...
So, as I've said, I just have to love SCO, because they are just like me. In fact they are just like most of us working here on Duke Nukem Forever. We are working forever...
Sincerely,
Pan Tarhei Hosé, PhD.
"Homo sum et cogito ergo odi profanum vulgus et libido."
Actually, they will wait 10 days, then sue 1024 users.
"that's not encryption - it's a new perl script that I'm working on..." - from some Matrix parody
i= no explanation needed
I'm an electrical engineer, you insensitive clod!
i is for current! We use j for sqrt(-1).
When I open the link, Epiphany pops up a Window telling me
You should only accept the security information if you trust "www.thescogroup.com" and "www.sco.com".
"When I first heard Daydream Nation it quite frankly scared the living shit out of me." -- Matthew Stearns
It must be a new trend for companies to sue their customers. Perhaps in fifty years, someone will look at this from an historical point of view...
The above document is an excerpt from a book not yet published, brought to you compliments of time travel.Open Sauce!
Thank you, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waiter.
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
cat
SCO: "Somebody set up us the lawsuit."
IBM: "You don't know what you doing."
Free as in mason.
Sweet buttery Jesus, man. You claim you're a teleconference operator, but you sound like a guerilla political activist. That is an awfully effective-sounding idea.
May we never see th
"SCO: Who Do You Want To Sue Today?"
So find a payphone, if you still can. Everybody find a payphone and give Darl a call.
They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
In a surprise move Thursday, SCO said aain that it needs yet more time to prepare an announcement of who they are going to sue.
They also have said that these first FIVE lawsuits will be against companies that hold SCO Unix licenses.
Connected to www.vatican.va.
Escape character is '^]'.
GET / HTTP/1.0
HTTP/1.1 200 OK
Date: Wed, 03 Mar 2004 04:11:56 GMT
Server: Apache/1.3.27 (Unix) mod_ssl/2.8.9 OpenSSL/0.9.6g PHP/4.2.2
Well, there it is, folks, final proof: God runs UNIX. You Windows folks had better repent, and right soon.