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Tom's Hardware Investigates Michael's Computers
cojsl writes "Tom's Hardware has an extensive article raising questions about Michael's Computers and their claims of a laptop with a "3DMark03 Average Score - 15,417"." It gets funnier as you go along.
it surprised me that after all the work they went through, the conclusion is simply "make your own mind up". Now *that*'s being cautious!
Or maybe I'm just a cynic by nature....
Simon
Physicists get Hadrons!
An investigative story featuring Anandtech Deals versus Fatwallet.com Deals?
Now I know where our friend Orlando Soto buys his computers.
Hmmm... has anyone ever actually seen "Michael Gonzales" and "Orlando Soto" together? Put glasses on this guy, and he looks an awful lot like this guy...
Stressed? Me? Of course not. Stress is what a rubber band feels before it breaks, silly.
Ok, kiddies, the important lesson of the day is: When you want to scam people into buying your product, try to advertise a product that exists. Then it'll always work. So...ummm...*shuffles feet*...who wants to buy the Brooklyn Bridge?
"Neighbors confirmed that Michael Gonzales used to live there, but moved out after a divorce."
Maybe his ex-wife was an unsatisfied early user?
Trolling is a art,
Never buy a computer from some guy named Michael. You're better off buying a Dell. Oh, wait.
I'm generally "Interesting," "Insightful," and even "Funny" here. What the hell happens to me at parties?
Michael must have come from the future, with his Windows XP 2004 and currently non-existant hardware! I bet you could haggle with him and get next year's Super Bowl winner, too.
I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.
Michael found that Tom's the stories are often riddled with errors and false claims that favour their advertisers.
You must get all the ladies.
I have been using windows ME since 1986 and haven't had any prob l ;;sd2 e ;a$
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My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[
He'll add "As mentioned on Slashdot" to his page to add to the hype...
"it's basically the best way to make money, next to taking advantage of lonely guys (pornsites, strippers) and taking advantage of lazy people (remote control, clapper)"
Tell me about it! I made an absolute fortune off my clapper-controlled porn site!
Which also finally answered the rhetorical question, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"
Great site...
:o)
what struck me as particularly funny, is that with only one exception ("Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity"), every single one of those points describes behaviour exhibited by Darl McBride in public!
Wow... it explains so much.
I was wondering, since you are a well established and reputable hardware site
It appears as though it cannnot handle a slashdotting.
"Teleporting Rodents with D-Cell Battery Displacement" theory -- IgnoramusMaximus (692000)
Why do sites insist on splitting articles into separate pages?
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It's even worse when the pages are short.
Hell, they often have only a few paragraphs per page.
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Some sites are kind enough to at least offer a "print article" link.
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Others don't.
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It's obvious what they're trying to do.
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They want to generate ad revenue.
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But really, the joke's on them.
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Because I use Privoxy.
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And so they don't get any ad money.
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But still have to spend money on the extra bandwidth it costs...
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...to split up the article into separate pages.
Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
Good job Tom. Now you just need to investigate that other Michael's claims.
At first I thought this was a story about an overagressive crafts store looking for market share while Martha's Empire was on the decline!
Do the computers come bundled with Duke Nukem Forever?
That's easy: FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP...
Oh, you said clapping. Sorry, I don't know.
Holy shit. I read that article... And I'm convinced that I'm a sociopath.
:(
Haha forget about what I said about "simple mistake". I have now RTFA. That guy is a just a massive tool.
I believe the 0.19 dB claim.
Does a tree make any noise when it falls in the forest and nobody's there to listen?.
In fact I think it's pretty loud for a non existant entity.
Oh, boy, I knew that some day this would happen...
What's next? False claims in unsolicited email?
Not really. Omitted were mentions of your base, hot grits, and the death of Steven King.
Hardly overkill, sir.
Or whatever investigative reports the US has - because clearly standards are slipping. Not with the investigators, but with the scamsters. It used to be you could tune into Roger Cook's Cook Report or Watchdog (UK shows, folks) and the scamster could be watched, on camera, doing a runner, slamming a door in someone's face, while the interviewer tried to get answers out of them. This 'video interview'.. it's just.. unnatural.
Not only it achieves a stunning 17108 in 3DMark '03, but it also came bundled with Duke Nukem Forever, running at 138fps at full details.
Signatures are for stupids.
And he claimed it was the 'World's Fastest Tower' which it wouldn't be with the 3dMark2001 score.
And he said .15 DB instead of 15 DB.
And he said 500GB Hard drive instead of 250 GB Hard drive.
And he said he was in business from 1996-2000 at one location instead of 2000-2004.
And he calimed places had reviewed his machine that didn't.
And he seemed to claim he had won awards that he hadn't.
And he seemed to claim people were customers who weren't.
And.... seeing a trend yet?
Simple mistake??? right...
Oh, I've got some loveley swampland in Florida that you might be interested in! I'll make you a great deal!
You're probably right. I was particularly amused by a quote in his FAQ praising his waranty service, attributed to the US Navy. Not a rep of the Navy, but the Navy itself. Must have been a good warranty for the whole Navy to say it liked it. Of course, even if we assume it was quote from a Navy person working in procurement, it's clearly bogus:
Someone representing the US Navy is about as likely to say they chose a vendor because he's christian as they are likely to say they chose a vendor because they're "trustworthy white folk, not scheming negroes or devious chinamen".
If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
My great-grandfater actually bought the Brooklyn Bridge (OK so he paid for it). This was about 1910 or there-abouts. He was living in Little Italy with his sons and daughter. They were out making a living, by being sand-hogs (digging the subways for those of you who don't know) or tailoring/seamstressing, but Great-Grandpa wasn't working, evidently he got out of practice while still in the Old Country and never really got back into the swing of it (that's a separate story). So while wandering about the town, he comes into the proverbial huckster selling the Brooklyn Bridge. As this is a limited-time offer, he has to put the money down right away, i.e. before talking to his sons who have a better command of the language and know about this particular con. So that night, over the family dinner table, he say to his brood that their money troubles are over, he's just bought the bridge outside the window for $500. All they have to do is put up toll booth and they are set. At this point the kids pick up their jaws from the table and figure out how they can get Pop out of the City pronto. The next morning, they go to the train station, go to the end of the line, and find a place to move the family. So that's why my relatives live where they do. i figure out that I can tell this story, any gullibiity genes involved have been diluted 8-fold by know, so I'm probably OK.
Stop saying that!
And you, madam, are very ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.
With an RMS value of 194 decibels
Wow, RMS gets pretty loud ranting about GNU. :-)
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
A site calling itself "Toms Hardware Guide" is claiming that Michael's Computers is a scam. We have recieved numerous emails regarding this, so we decided to investigate. We attempted to contact this so called "Guide" however they returned all our calls and promptly emailed us back with answers to our questions. We then asked them to disproove the performance claim and they responded:
"We would be happy to, please send us a review model"
With people like that you just cant win, so we looked a little closer at their so called claims:
"There is no AMD FX-51 3400+
Currently, there are no 500GB internal desktop hard drives. The only 500 GB drives are external firewire/USB2.0 drives, such as the ones made by LaCie."
There are two glaring mistakes here.
There are many 500Gb drives on the market and the AMD FX-51 3400+ is a special overclocked chip. When powering up the computer, which contains no fans, no noise is made and the machine boots up within 8 seconds. And by booting we are of course referring to the commanly used term for smoking.
This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
If you go to www.michaelscomputers.com they reveal that they have increased both the speed AND stability of Windows! They did it with their "years of experience". Michael's Computers are truly heroes.
.)
(The claim is in the translucent slideshow. Wait for it. .
The Statue of Liberty is America's lawn jockey.
Hi, Mike! Good to have you drop in!
May we never see th
120 Human Threshold of Pain - 1 watt/sq. meter
120 Loud Rock Concert
simple math shows that:
Loud Rock Concert = Human Treshold of Pain
I can name several bands that surpass my treshold of pain, but it's not really decibel-related.
It's a match made in fucking heaven. Please don't cyber-reproduce, we have enough overweight uglies in the world as it is.
Correction: Cute, 20-year old from Wisconsin meets lord only knows what (Chalybeous has no homepage linked).
musingmelpomene, welcome to the 20's. In my experience they tend to suck less than the teens.
Where many systems today are built with just the "fastest" processor, we dive deeper into incorporating the true components that allow every application you run, to run at the fastest speed possible.
Ie.. we overclock everything until it steams, then write on our own numbers on in yellow crayon.
I only choose Michael's Computers over any other company because it?s far better to know the maker and someone you can trust and is a Christian.
Yep. I pray for the forgiveness of my sins on Sunday so I don't don't to hell for lying through my teeth the other 6
Norman Cook's Ode to Sl
How about "Featured on Slashdot"
See, you have 2 speakers at 90 dB each, that's 180 dB, right?
-- Henriette's herbal -
Must...resist...circular....logic....aaaAAAHHHHHH! !!
Yeah. And with 200 you'd have 18,000dB and could blow up the planet.
sure they do.. it come with kernel 3.0.0