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U.S. Justice Department Prepares Assault on Pr0n
An anonymous reader writes "The Baltimore Sun is reporting that the Justice Department is preparing to reawaken old laws to fight the war on ... no, not terrorists... porn! And not just the kinky stuff either. In the age of Internet connectivity, will this mean these jobs are headed to India too?"
U.S. Justice Department Prepares Assault on Pr0n
About damned time, too. The Long John Silvers giveaway was bad enough.
Stressed? Me? Of course not. Stress is what a rubber band feels before it breaks, silly.
Let's hope so. Indian women are hot.
I hope they do a better job than the director of 'Anal Assault 5' .... Or do I?
I fail to see how this war will help gas prices at all? What's the point? :)
I for one welcome our new Indian porn actresses.
Please send all UCE to scally@devolution.com so I can f
...they pry it from my glazed, sticky fingers!
They are going to say the pr0n you download isn't yours and that you can't make copies.
how I would get a job there. Everytime I try to browse pRon at work from 9-5 my boss gets quite annoyed and threatens to end my contract. This guy is getting PAID to do it??!! And he is ALLOWED to??!!
"Department officials say they will send 'ripples' through an industry"
Perhaps they mean "jiggles"?
-----------------------
To understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.
"Lam Nguyen's job is to sit for hours in a chilly, quiet room devoid of any color but gray and look at pornography"
/. crowd. It's just as well it cold in there...
Hmm...sounds like a day in the life of the
You break all the laws of physics and you seriously think there wouldn't be a price?
SHE GRASPED HIS THROBBING PURPLE WARRIOR IN HER HANDS STOP. OH SHE SAID ITS SO BIG STOP.
-Flakbait
Temporary Minister of Propoganda for the Assyrian Empire
Who's Pr0n? Is he the dictator of some oil-rich middle eastern country... :)
This is my sig. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
Browsing at +5 -- check.
+3 bonus to funny -- check.
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Let the comments roll in!
Compared to Ashcroft, Atila the Hun appears to be a flaming leftist liberal.
"This job, which Nguyen does earnestly from 9 to 5, surrounded by a half-dozen other "computer forensic specialists" like him, has become the focal point of the Justice Department's operation to rid the world of porn."
First, where do I sign up, and second, I sure as hell hope there are at least cubicle dividers between these "computer forensic specialists".
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
By reading this sig, you agree to be bound by all terms and conditions I choose.
I posted a good article about how the Xbox2 won't be using ATI or Nvidia, and it was shot down. But this article makes it?
I should have posted how Xbox 2 was going to stream P0rn on the net, I guess.
What was the first message sent over the telephone?
"Come here Watson, I want you."
True story.
NetInfo connection failed for server 127.0.0.1/local
Yeah, but the problem seems to be that he thinks he was _annointed_.
In my community it's offensive for extremely hot women to wear clothes. It offends God, whom created such beauty to be observed.
I need to find some hotties to sue.
Well, that's the thing. When the Bushies first came into office, Porn was at the top of their list. Then 9/11 happened and Ashcroft was distracted by the opportunity to stomp all over people's Civil Liberties with the support of Congress.
So now he's just going back to his original plan.
ashcroft is the goatse man. scary but true.
sulli
RTFJ.
I guess now I have to get a girlfriend. Damn ASHCROFT!!! Damn those REPUBLICANS!!! VICTIMS they say!? Yeah, only if they count the occasional cramping I get in my hands. I want Clinton back damnit!!! Then, I can be a pervert in peace and not feel shameful about it.
You don't have to be smart to use a Mac, you just have to be smart enough to buy one
new newsgroup:
nttp//alt.binary.pictures.employed.indian.brunette
Liberals call everyone Nazis yet they are the closest thing to it.
OH SHE SAID ITS SO BIG STOP.
Don't stop stop. Please don't stop stop.
See. This is what happens when your whole family walks in your room and catches you jacking off with a porno mag when your a teenager. You get emotionally scarred for life and grow up to be a pornophobic Attorney General.
The perfect antithesis then, to all the people who pay for the 'products' on sale. The line "Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?" springs to mind. Have you in fact checked he's still alive ?
.....can you spare two dollars?"
Reminds me of an old joke:
--
A bum, who'd obviously seen more than his share of hard times, approached a well-dressed man on the street. "Hey, Buddy
The well-dressed man replied, "You're not going to spend it on liquor are you?"
"No, sir, I don't drink," the bum responded.
"You're not going to throw it away on fishing gear, are you?" the gentleman asked.
"No... I don't fish either!" answered the bum.
"You wouldn't waste the money on a deer lease, would you?" asks the man. "No, I wouldn't!" says the bum, "I don't hunt!"
So the man asked the bum if he'd like to come home with him for a home cooked meal. The bum accepted eagerly. On the way to the man's house, the bum's curiosity got the better of him. "Isn't your wife going to be upset when you bring a guy like me to your house for dinner?"
"Well, probably," said the man, "but it'll be well worth it for her to see what happens to a man that doesn't drink, fish or hunt".
--
SB
It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
If your job was to surf for extreme porn all day, is it still considered slacking if your boss catches you browsing softcore?
I realize you are flame-baiting but I'll answer your question anyway.
Sex outside marriage is wrong, and sex in and of itself is a sacred act, the use of which God set strict rules for. Pornography may encourage violation of these rules while portraying no consequences. The hard truth of the matter is that while everyone can choose whatever they want to do, NO ONE can choose the consequences of their actions, and that is one thing that porn (and a bunch of other trash in the media) fails to portray. That is one reason why some of us are all-too-happy to see porn attacked, because we are tired of the lies, the filth, and the scourge that it places over society.
Sex within marriage is the only acceptable way to practice sex. Anything or anyone who suggests otherwise is deceived.
Bush wants everyone to have broadband. The DoJ wants to rid the internet of porn. I don't think the left hand knows what the right hand is doing. (no pun intended - well, ok, it is)
But - but it IS in the Bible!
Hezekiah 3:16 - "Woe unto him who seeth the nipple of a woman, for he shall surely perish."
Most of slashdot probably already downloads warez and music. Porn would just add another offense to most peoples list. Just imagine if you got the repeat offender penalty though. Life for jerkin your girkin.. Good thing I'm in Canada or I'd be screwed.
Moo!
I agree completely with you; but :) if makeup makes you think of sex even while looking at a five year old, you have a problem.
:)
I suggest forced viewing of Tammy Fae Baker (crying or not) for at least an hour a day until you are cured.
SB
It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
Always remember: the puritans, the founding fathers of America, were so stuck up the British kicked them out.
It's time to get tough. No wimpy ribbons this time. It's time for the Bukkake Ashcroft Campaign for Free Speech.
1. Download a picture of the Attorney General.
2. Make a color print of the picture.
3. Jerk off on the picture. Do not look at the picture while you jerk off. Well, you could, but I don't want to know about it. I suggest you close your eyes and think of Asia.
4. If the face of the man who wrote "Let the Eagle Soar" isn't liberally (heh) covered with spooge, GOTO 3.
5. Take a picture of your Bukkake Ashcroft. Do not, REPEAT, do not use a flatbed scanner.
6. Post this picture on your home page. Or use someone else's site if you're so inclined.
7. ?????
8. Free Speech!
I guarantee that if enough people do this, it'll have an effect that a million EFF ribbons couldn't hope to match.
Maj. Kong
Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.
Call in to your CC company, say "I didn't make these charges, blah"... Visa rep sees they're for porn and immediately lets you chargeback. Of course, they don't want to inconvenience the "poor" customer, so they don't invalidate the card. This raises a question: If you didn't make those charges, who did, scumbag?
Back in the early 90's I had a roommate that made a mess of 1-900 sex line calls. Now I'm not one to care as long as they get paid for. So I took the bill to him and asked him "Hey, Dave, did you make these calls?" He looks at it, tells me "No". Okay, I figure the landlady had some people in the house working on our place all week, maybe they did while we were out. This is a pretty substantial bill, more than $500, so I proceed to call each & every one of these companies to dispute the charges. I'm on the phone all morning. Not a problem getting them removed until I get to one that has recorded the entire phone conversation. Dave identifies himself as "Bob" in the call and from the minute or two I heard of it it was a gay incest fantasy line.
I tell them, no, I don't recognize the voice, but they still wont remove the charge.
Anyway, band comes over to practice and I'm singing in the PA as Dave walks in. I'm pretty pissed because he lied to me. If he just would have owned up and paid it I would never have told a soul. So I greet Dave over the PA as this: "Bob! Bobby! Bob-a-rino! Bobby Bo Bina Bo! Robert! Robbie Roberto! Hows it hanging?" Everyone in the room knows what is going on, watched him turn beet red. On the downside, he skipped without paying off the rest of the calls so I got stung for around $70. On the plus side, I got a much better roommate a week later.
Freedom is merely privilege extended unless enjoyed by one and all.
I don't know of a single case where porn has been responsible for a car accident, although it's an interesting mental image.
You're thinking of "Cannonball Run" and the Subaru (driven by Jackie Chan) with the in-dash VCR (the height of early-80s entertainment technology).
Just visit www.prawnography.net if you don't believe me.
Filthy, absolutely filthy. How can the government allow people to publish this smut--and online, where anybody can access it! Please, won't somebody think of the children?
Dlugar
Computer Go: Writing Software to Play the Ancient Game of Go
Romanes Eunt Domus.
How ya like dat?
...and they elected a dead guy instead of re-electing Ashcroft.
That's right, it's the mom and pop porn producers that will be hurt the most.
Me thinks that this is all part of a plan to get to a point where to recruit new US troups for the war on terror the US can promise young sexually repressed and oppressed males that they can go straight to heaven if they go the the mideast and blow up islamic extremists. They will be told that they will be greated at heavens gates by comly virgins will to do all sorts of things to them....
Nah, that could never work...
Oh shit...
Larry Flynt comes into your house, kicks you in the nuts, puts a porno in your VCR, then makes a bunch of callback requests to sex lines.
Now... with the nut-kicking thing... there is the little issue of him being a cripple, of course....
Alito: A vote for Alito is a punch in the eye to put that bitch back in her place!
"Republicans claim government doesn't work, then get elected and prove it."
-- P.J. O'Rourke, "Parliment of Whores"
...defended a video store there against state charges that it was renting two obscene videotapes...
They reached the verdict in less than three hours
They would have taken longer, but the movies were short.
It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. -- Harry Truman