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Is the Universe Shaped Like a Funnel?
DrMorpheus writes "A new theory of the shape of the Cosmos posits that the Universe may be shaped like a medieval horn, according to Frank Steiner at the University of Ulm. This theory, if true, could explain several strange observations about the microwave background radiation. The Universe would be stretched out at one end into a long tube and flared out into a bell at the opposite end. The technical name for this shape is a 'Picard topology'. To quote the article, '...our Universe is curved like a Pringle, shaped like a horn, and named after a Star Trek character. You could not make it up.'"
I just have to jump in and be the first one to make the reference to Sir Bedevere's remark at the end of what could only be assumed to be a lengthy explanation to King Arthur, "...and that, my Liege, is how we know the earth to be banana shaped."
Imagine if he'd said, "...and that, my Liege, is how we know the universe to be shaped like a trumpet." Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones might have been Nobel Prize candidates.
You are in error. No-one is screaming. Thank you for your cooperation.
Last year it was a dodecahedron, this year a funnel, what's it going to be next year?
If it is shaped like a funnel, does it point up -- like a Dunce Hat, or down -- like a toilet bowl?
If you don't know what AltaVista is (was), get off my lawn.
Does that have something to do with the shape of Patrick Stewart's bald head?
Have fun: Join D.N.A. (National Dyslexics Association)
I guess this gives a whole new meaning to the words "Big Crunch".
Clearly, what the universe needs is an Elizabethan adventure on the holodeck!
more stuff to ponder during stoner trips...
"hey man, did you know the whole universe is shaped like my bong?"
"no waaaaaaaaay! does that mean you could use it to get high?"
...is of course named for the pointy hats Picard used to wear to crack up Wharf.
If the universe is shaped like a horn, curved like a pringle, and named after Jean-Luke Picard.
Then it is all my favorites rolled into one.
The universe blows, is made out of mashed potatoes, and is named after someone i look up to.
Sorry couldn't help myself.
A Fatal OE Exception has occurred, Sig will now reboot.
Be sure to pull that spit valve once in a while.
And because it is "expanding," it is getting bigger. When the universe reaches the standing wave frequency of the Great Superstring, it will all vibrate apart.
No, the sounds come from your head being shaped liked a Pringles can and God shaking it looking for those last few elusive chips.
Eat your heart out Kirk!
no, but im sure theres a joke about a horny universe in there somewhere.
turn up the jukebox and tell me a lie
So that big old guy dressed in white with the beard turned on "God" mode? It's all beginning to make sense now...
Sorry - I just have to cut in here.
It's actually our universe. The rest of you will need to pay $699 to live in it.
- Darl McBride
I hear there's rumors on the Slashdots
"So we have determined that the universe is actually shaped like a giant cosmic donut."
"Mmmmmmm, universe..."
Yes, my only tool is a hammer. And you're starting to look like a nail.
This explains why the Universe has turned out the way it has - its shaped like a rectum!
My web domain.
Slashdot loves these guessing games, doesn't it?
/. Prove me wrong.
Slashdot says; the universe is shaped like a doughnut
Slashdot says; universe is shaped like a soccer ball
I say; the universe is shaped like a
STUDENT: Professor, what is the Universe shaped like?
PROF: Ummm, a big horn. Next question.
STUDENT: Professor, what causes cancer?
PROF: Umm, breadsticks.
STUDENT: Professor, is Linux going to take over the desktop this year?
PROF: Umm, yeah sure.
DONT YOU BELIEVE IT!
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
The universe is shaped like a funnel, and my desk would seem to be located at the pointy end.
Well, jeez, if an omniscent being can't get out of taxes, I guess the rest of us schmoes don't have a chance :(
I'd suggest you don't use Slashdot as your only news source, or you will suffer permanent brain damage.
Ah, that fateful day when Columbus climbed into the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria and blasted out into orbit to observe the world's shape.*
* Substitute Leif Erikson if you prefer. **
** Substitute Various Mathemeticians if you prefer. ***
*** Substitute Cowboy Neal if you prefer.
- The Amazina Llama
Must have been something more like a "Big Hoot".
In the model, technically called a Picard topology, the Universe curves in a strange way.
In the begining was the words, and they were "Make it so"...
---
"I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing and it was everything that I thought it could be."
Evenings kinda slow down on the farm eh?!
When the universe reaches the standing wave frequency of the Great Superstring, it will all vibrate apart.
I personally hope it will reach that frequency before it reaches the "brown noise".
A banjo is better tuned with a hammer. (Sorry... my wife plays banjo)
Your theory, while thought-provoking, is totally wrong.
Everyone knows that we are inside a fingernail.
Thank you for your time and efforts.
If you don't know what AltaVista is (was), get off my lawn.
No, those are the prophets of Mount Rushmore. The chip in your head is malfunctioning.
Laws are for people with no friends.
Scientists believe it to be 92 cents below the lowest octave of E flat.
At an extreme enough point, you would be able to see the back of your own head.
In this situation, am I the only person that would be tempted to reach out and slap the back of my own head? "You idiot, look where you got us now."
actually, 60 Hz is closer to B-flat... 60 - 58.27 is 1.73, while 61.74 - 60 is 1.74.
of course, he never said that he tuned the B-flat on his banjo to exactly 60 Hz... he could have known about this discrepancy and tuned from the low end until the beat frequency produced by the combination of his B-flat and the 60 Hz was approximately 1.75 Hz.
-tid242
With a few exceptions, secrecy is deeply incompatible with democracy and with science. --Carl Sagan
A banjo is better tuned with a hammer.
Are you referring to a tuning hammer or to one you might find in, say, a hardware store? I guess it depends on how good a banjo player your wife is!
(Sorry... my wife plays banjo)
Ooooh, so much for that.
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
...the universe is shaped like water in flushing toilet. Ok, that explains a lot of things.
Of course, that's the threshold crossed by the "output" of a black hole, which appears in the next universe as a "deja vu". The black hole's input universe arrives in infinite subsequent universes, each separated by a single iota of information. That iota is recieved as the smallest, infinitesimal information change in the subsequent universe: in that universe's model of itself, in a mind, there is one extra metadatum flipped to "this exists".
Investigating this infospace led our schneidics lab to a vast, uncharted category of information science. We all know "memory": you know something that happened. And, unfortunately, "forgetting": you don't know something that happened. And "deja vu": you know something that *didn't* happen. We've planted the schneidics flag in "nemory": you *don't* remember something that *never* happened. We now believe that this "cold, dark information" composes the vast majority of information in the universe. We are currently investigating its application to the rest of the emerging field of schneidics. If you have experimental nemory data, please report it to our lab.
--
make install -not war
Why are we always so horny?
Get a free ipod.
At an extreme enough point, you would be able to see the back of your own head. It would be an interesting place to explore
"Hey you! I'm lost. Can you tell me where I am?....Why won't you face and answer me?....Face me like a man, you balding fat-ass bastard!....Hey! Isn't that my same jacket you have on? It looks a lot better on me, shy Dickhead. Maybe a little phaser blast will bring you out of your shell. *ZZzzaap!* Ow! Fuck! Where'd the hell that come from? Make them stop or you'll get another one..."
Table-ized A.I.
All evidence clearly points to Homer Simpson's doughnut shaped universe theory!
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, The hands acqui