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U.S. Will Use Robots to Patrol Water Supply
bl8n8r writes "By the summer of 2005, the United States will have an underwater network of robots monitoring the nations fresh water supply. Realtime environmental details will be used to help safeguard the nations drinking water. The robots would take on the painstaking, time consuming, and sometimes dangerous, task of collecting water samples which is currently being done by carbon based lifeforms."
Let's certainly hope not.
The Army reading list
Wouldn't it be easier to just use sharks mounted with lasers on their friggin' heads?
Are these robots going to be powered by fish flatulence, by chance?
Life is the leading cause of death in America.
Oh please, will someone please think of the robots!
Wait till they unionize, we're fucked.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
Are robots any more trustworthy than humans, and less likely to pee in the water just to get back at their fleshy masters?
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
From the terrible secret of space!^W Water!
In the future, I would want to not be isolated from my friends in the Space Station.
I have this image of a man pulling over to pee in a resevoir, only to have a many tentacled robot emerge from the water to cut off the source of pollution.
With all the robots patrolling US waters, who's going to play chess against the humans?
Imagine a beowulf cluster of these.
You've been watching too much hentai. No more anime for YOU!
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
welcome our new underwater robot overlords!
Millions die from water contaminated by rusty robots.
I don't know if it will make the US's lakes and rivers safer but I bet they'll be less skinny dipping.
Finally, something patrolling our waters that can have laser's mounted on their heads!
cripes - does no one see anything creepy about this. I'd be worried about sitting on the toilet, you might get a nasty (painful) surprise.
Take away the right to say "fuck" and you take away the right to say "fuck the government." - Lenny Bruce
National Security brought to you by Aibo.
You're new here aren't you? and by here I mean the U.S.
And by new, i mean about to be secretely detained under the PATRIOT act.
I had a conversation with these robots, and they explained to me how they will protect me from water-borne pollutants.
The first one declared that his function was to push a water sample into a purification chamber. The second one then declared that his function was to shove pollutants out of the water.
After a brief debate over which function was superior, they agreed that water-borne pollutants have a terrible power. Then they politely asked me to go stand by the stairs. That was weird.
"Beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he deems himself your master."
By the summer of 2005, the United States will have an underwater network of robots monitoring the nations fresh water supply
Hah, they have robots in there now.
I've been slowly leeching arsenic into my pipes trying to lure it to my workshop.
-Adam
Breakfast served all day!
Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face. A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
Stranded.org
Jeeze... We are right here. You dont need to talk about us like that.
I'm sure that John and Sarah Conner and Neo all felt that way. At first!
As we're marched off to our pods to provide energy for our robot overlords, in a dazed stupor because their water monitoring robot cohorts slipped us a collective mickey, I hope you have enough consciousness to remember this moment.
It was an effective method, except for the fact that the water tests always showed unusually high amounts of e coli and chimp hair. If you get convince the robots to wear diapers and hair-nets, you might be on to something.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
thank goodness... now these robots can replace the humans who before were exposed to deadly dihydrogen monoxide every time they took a sample!
thank you, robots, for doing such dangerous work!
protecting us against the terrible dangers of dihidrogen monoxide in our water supply. Our water needs to be clean and safe from all impurities!
I'm looking to get rich. I've got steps #2 (????) and #3 (PROFIT!) planned out, but am having trouble coming up with #1.
The International Brotherhood of Robots, Automatons, and Intelligent Devices - local 00110000111 (underwater workers), announced today that they will be working to organize the robots involved into a collective bargaining unit.
In a related story, a huge outcry from the environmental lobby about the increased lead, nickle and lithium in the National water supply due to leaky robot batteries.
Robots can pee
So we unleash wave after wave of Chinese Needle snakes!
Don't forget the lovely possums that your charming Aussie neighbours gave you, too. I hear they are everywhere in NZ too.
Rabbits have been pretty damaging here too, but I'd say that bird and plant species have had the worst impact. Starlings, Indian Mynahs and pigeons, and weeds like blackberries and so on.
I very much agree with your conlusion that introducing new species to an ecology is usually a very foolish thing to do.
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
-- Terry Pratchett, Hogfather