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Microsoft Plans To Sell Anti-Virus Software
EvilCowzGoMoo writes "From the makers of our favorite OS comes: Anti-Virus! Yes you heard me right. According to an article on Reuters.com Microsoft is developing its own brand of anti-virus software. Asked if that would hurt sales of competing products, such as Network Associates' McAfee and Symantec's Norton family of products, Nash (chief of Microsoft's security business unit) said that Microsoft said that it would sell its anti-virus program as a separate product from Windows, rather than including it in Windows. My only question is: If they can't seem to patch their OS fast enough, what makes them think they can keep their AV software up to date?"
10 bonus karma points for the first person to write a worm that exploits a vulnerability in Microsoft's AV software!
Karma: SELECT `karma` FROM `users` WHERE `userid`=138474;
1) make crappy software with holes in it like swiss cheese
2) sell antivirus software
3) PROFIT!!!
because what hunting rifle has a bayonet lug
Is this a little like:
"Dr Kevorkian... Heal thyself"?
Telcos have alot of dark fibre in the States. Most people assume that's optical fibre...but it's actually moral fibre.
It started with the browser, and it will continue until slashdot itself is considered part of the os.
In other news, Benson and Hedges plan to open their own crematorium franchise; "You go out smokin'!". Rumours also spread of plans by Mc Donalds to open a gymnasium adjacent to each grease restaurant, and Darl Mc Bride, Steve Balmer and Steve Jobs to co-author book entitled "Altruism: The secret to success!! (subtitled: Empowering your workforce with kindness)"...
Code, Hardware, stuff like that.
2. Sell anti-virus software that 'somehow' works the best.
3. Take over the world.
So, what, it deinstalls Windows for you?
PepperHacks - Hacking the Pepper Pad
you buy protection from the same people you have to be protected from.
I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
This discussion need a fucking tinfoil Turban over it. Get ready for your conspiracies, folks!
Microsoft has had a couple of secure OS's out for years
Exactly - I can see it now:
"There are 10 new holes in Windows XP - but the patches won't be out for weeks, so you'll need to buy the latest AV software from us to protect against it until the latest updates are out."
Perhaps if we built a giant wooden badger....
All we need to do now is to prove they include SCO code in their AV, and there'll be more than one set of sheets to clean!
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation
"Relax, everyone... The vulnerabilities in Windows are all by design. However: No Windows installation is complete without MSAV, included free with the Windows XP Useable Edition Plus Pack. Only $799.75!"
For awhile now, I've heard Windows-only n00bs mention how great the disk defrag utilities in Windows are, and how Linux sucks because it doesn't have things like that (Never mind the fact that MS filesystems seem to be the only ones that need regular defragmentation). I'm sure that at some point I'll hear something along the same lines about AV software: "Microsoft makes better AV software for protecting Windows against its own bad design than Microsoft's competitors do. MS is great. Yay!"
It would be too bad if something were to happen to this here computer, wouldn't it Rocky?
Why, it sure would, Guido. That's an awfully nice computer. It would be a pity if someone were to, say, surf with IE on it, or open attachments in Outlook, wouldn't it Guido?
Or even Outlook Express, Rocky.
Hey, now -- that's going a little too far. I do got standards, you know? No women, no kids, and no using Outlook Express.
The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer. - Albert Einstein
They bought someone up and slapped their name on it.
But be sure always to call it please, innovation.
There are 10 new holes in Windows XP
It will be rather: We will disclose 10 new holes in Windows XP in a couple of weeks. Please, purchase new version of our MS-AV++ software now (or f* yourself).
In 4 weeks: Due to some minor issues of our MS-AV++, we recomend our customers to update to MS-AV#. MS-AV# is available now for discounted price as an upgrade.
"Hay Balmer, our anti-virus software sales are slipping lately. Let's add remote scripting capability into solitare."
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
Fantastic! When can we expect a Mac version?
Great, virus writers would probably love to use them...
No problems. No big deal. If you are running Windows either because you have bought into the Microsoft Party Line or for some reason you are required to run Windows, than who better to make a Windows virus killer? Only Microsoft can take advantage of the secret hidden proprietary back-doors and APIs. I mean, look: If your going to sleep with Bill Gates, you're already somewhat dirty, so why not go all the way? Ah, what a visual...
"Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!" - Glen Beck
Oh B*LL F**K*NG SH*T! (please forgive my french)
.DLL to load and the function to call, and anyone can now make a AV solution for outlook
Sure it could be benifitial to have low level hooks in outlook (& -express), but in no way do you need to intergrate anything into the OS to be able to do so!
Simply use/make a registry key pointing to the
The only problem is that MS doesnt want any 3rd party software competing on a level playing field, so they keep intergrating applications into the OS, and keep any low level hooks undocumented, so that they automaticly have leg up over any competetion
Do you think the guys at Valve were stupid?
Well since you asked. Yes.
Too bad your average consumer doesn't know enough about computers to see the irony:
Salesperson: Buy our Operating System!
Customer: OK.
Salesperson: Now buy our Antivirus solution! Without it, hackers will steal your identity.
Customer: Egads! Here! Take all my cash!
tasks(723) drafts(105) languages(484) examples(29106)
..are soon property of Microsoft
in bed.
While Outlooks ubiquity might exacerbate ...
I'm sorry, what???
meh
Two Buttons:
Do What I Say
Do What I mean
Sounds simple enough to me
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
I'm pretty sure he's safe now because he doesn't know how to install anything.
Microsoft selling Anti-Virus software is like al-Qaida selling life insurance.
Write Buggy OS...
Monopolise Buggy OS...
Profit!
Neglect to Fix Holes in Buggy OS...
Charge for fixes the H4X0rs exploit...
Profit!^Profit!
Troll, Troll, go away and flame again some other day
This is like buying a new car where the brakes aren't just quite up to stopping the car. But... for a few hundred extra dollars, you can buy (from the same manufacturer), a brand new "SEA ANCHOR"(tm). When thrown from the vehicle, and attached to "SEA CHAIN"(tm) and "SEA CHAIN"(tm) is properly attached to your vehicle by one of our specially approved retailers (with appropriate licencing), you will have the ability to stop much more quickly than ever before! No more will you have to go looking for soft trees or hills to do the stopping for you. Call your local representative today (note: "SEA CHAIN" and "SEA ANCHOR" availability: July 2005).
Please reassign to correct topic.
My first day at the University of Washington they packed all the freshmen into an indoor arena for orientation. They also gave all 4000 of us gift bags that included frisbees. I don't need to say what happened next.
College students are stupid enough, and when it comes to computers, most people that use them in their workplaces are even stupider. That said, I agree with you completely that the simplest solution would have been to not give us frisbees in the first place.
You mean Microsoft could actually made Windows LESS SECURE? Holy crap!
What would it do? Network with your security system, wait until you're gone, unlock the doors to your house and use the outside speaker to blast an invitation for burglars to get free stuff?
>> My ultraviolent Linux switch video.
There's nothing as satisfying as the solid "splut" noise made when a big sack of crap is properly bitch-slapped.
Clippy tried; alas, Clippy was even more stupid than the damn users.
"He who throws mud, loses ground." - proverb
While Outlooks ubiquity might exacerbate ...
I'm sorry, what???
He said, "While Microsoft's desktop monopoly and inattention to security has screwed its own users . . ." But he was being polite about it. HTH.
When they go to open the attachment called "Jennifer XXX cool.jpg.pif", what do you think they actually mean? Show me some porno! What do they get? Viruses.
Are we going to integrate some kind of porn finder into Outlook, just to keep the users safe?
heh that reminds me of a skit from upright citizens brigade.
Baseball park owner: "Last night's marshmallows and lighters night didn't go so well. we didn't see that coming, really. That's why tonight is socks and oranges night! There's nothing harmful people can do with socks and oranges."
- tristan
In any case OpenBSD has an 8 year track record now: 1 remotely expolitable hole! Windoes cannot match that. Yes there are some gotchas, but it you upgrade your machines when OpenBSD does a major release, something they plan well in advance, you should be safe.
That's why I use DOS, it's track record is untouchable even by OpenBSD. It's got 0 (count 'em, 0) remote root exploits in over 20 years!
Can I get an eye poke?
Dog House Forum
Are you comparing apples to apples?
No you Mac zealot, they are comparing Windows to Linux.... sigh..
Don't hurt me, it was a joke.
Click here for a free picture of an iPod!