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Washington Mutual Patents the Bank Branch

ewhac writes "Okay, so it's not a bank branch per se, but a particular kind of bank branch -- one that has play areas for kids, serves coffee and popcorn, and has kiosks instead of teller windows. Washington Mutual has dubbed this branch design, "Occasio" (a generic Latin word meaning, "favorable opportunity," and which has probably been trademarked). The San Francisco Chronicle reports that it may be the first time the USPTO has awarded a patent for the design of a retail store/presence."

291 comments

  1. Yes, "Occasio" is trademarked by Motherfucking+Shit · · Score: 4, Informative

    Here, here, here, and here. Washington Mutual owns all of them.

    --
    "BSD: Free as in speech. Linux: Free as in beer. Windows 10: Free as in herpes." --Man On Pink Corner in #52607549.
    1. Re:Yes, "Occasio" is trademarked by bar-agent · · Score: 4, Informative

      And here is the actual text of the patent.

      --
      i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain [bash.org]
    2. Re:Yes, "Occasio" is trademarked by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      FUCK! We have a bunch of idiots working at USPTO.

    3. Re:Yes, "Occasio" is trademarked by Crazy_MYKL · · Score: 1

      It's times like this i wish there was a mod option "+1, Sarcastically Insightful".

      --


      <jedi> There is something funny here. You laugh. </jedi>
  2. Since when is environment patentable? by Crudely_Indecent · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can understand patenting logos, designs, even shoe tread patterns.........but furniture layout?

    Ok, I'm going to file for my own patent. I'll call it "Geek Apartment" and it will consist of empty soda cans, dirty laundry, an unmade bed, and between 6 and 14 computers in various states of assembly (all running however).

    There's your fair warning, soon you'll all be paying me royalties, or cleaning your apartments.

    --


    "Lame" - Galaxar
    1. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by josh3736 · · Score: 4, Funny
      There's your fair warning, soon you'll all be paying me royalties, or cleaning your apartments.

      Finally, you have given us a reason to get off our collective asses and clean up that funny stuff that's been growing in the corner.

      So I say, patent away! You'll be doing a favor for society.

    2. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by kunudo · · Score: 5, Funny

      I think there might be some prior art on that one... :)

      However, I have a feeling that that won't stop the USPTO from awarding you your patent...

    3. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Hold on... is that such a good thing? This would make our domiciles more hospitiple for members of the opposite sex, and we'd start to breed...

    4. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by MoonBuggy · · Score: 2, Informative

      There's prior art on the bank layout - we've had these kind of banks (coffee, stuff to occupy kids, particular layout) in the UK for a while. I think the first time I recall seeing them advertised was at least 2 years back.

    5. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by dbarclay10 · · Score: 4, Funny
      Ok, I'm going to file for my own patent. I'll call it "Geek Apartment" and it will consist of empty soda cans, dirty laundry, an unmade bed, and between 6 and 14 computers in various states of assembly (all running however). There's your fair warning, soon you'll all be paying me royalties, or cleaning your apartments.
      Finally, you have given us a reason to get off our collective asses and clean up that funny stuff that's been growing in the corner.

      The last time I tried to clean up the funny smell that's been growing in the corner, it beat me with a stick and made me feed it Doritos crumbs.

      --

      Barclay family motto:
      Aut agere aut mori.
      (Either action or death.)
    6. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by markxz · · Score: 1

      There's prior art on the bank layout - we've had these kind of banks (coffee, stuff to occupy kids, particular layout) in the UK for a while. I think the first time I recall seeing them advertised was at least 2 years back.

      Have you seen anybody use the coffee facilities?
      Are customers meant to just take a coffee whenever they want?
      If there was easy free coffee to be had I would find a lot more reasons to go to my bank.

    7. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by MoonBuggy · · Score: 1

      I do all my banking online - it wasn't the chain I use that introduced this anyway, I just remember seeing the adverts. As such, I've never actually been in one of these types of bank, I just know they were designed before this patent and it should, therefore, not have been approved.

    8. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by msobkow · · Score: 5, Insightful

      The environment became patentable when the US government was sold to the corporations through campaign contributions.

      You and your vote don't matter to them anymore unless you've got the finances and clout to smack them with a serious lawsuit. Thanks to electronic voting which has no reliable paper trail, the embarassment of the Florida election recounts will be a thing of the past. Now they can just change the history records to ensure the talking head of choice has the presidency.

      Looks like William Gibson was right about more than he should have been.

      --
      I do not fail; I succeed at finding out what does not work.
    9. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Have you seen anybody use the coffee facilities?
      Are customers meant to just take a coffee whenever they want?


      CIBC does this in a branch near me in Surrey, British Columbia (BC), Canada.

    10. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by Walt+Dismal · · Score: 1

      I understand that designs can be copyrighted, but since when is a functional arrangement of furniture patentable? In that case, I'm filing for an arrangement of plumbing fixtures constituting an area for the removal of waste material. You want to take a dump, you pay me.

    11. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by nelsonal · · Score: 1

      I am safe as I have beer bottles rather than soda cans strewn about my apartment.

      --
      Degaussing scares the bad magnetism out of the monitor and fills it with good karma.
    12. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "I can understand patenting logos, designs, even shoe tread patterns........."

      I can't. I thought those things were traditionally covered by trademark and copyright, not patents.

    13. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by mrami · · Score: 2, Funny
      The last time I tried to clean up the funny smell that's been growing in the corner, it beat me with a stick and made me feed it Doritos crumbs.

      And make it Cool Ranch next time, or I'll lick ya' again!

    14. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by daraf · · Score: 1

      I really need to patent the reflective aluminum head covering so I can make a fortune collecting royalties from people like you

    15. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by Tablizer · · Score: 4, Funny

      The last time I tried to clean up the funny smell that's been growing in the corner, it beat me with a stick and made me feed it Doritos crumbs.

      It's called a "wife"

    16. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by Craig+Maloney · · Score: 1
      I think I'm going to patent M class planets, and then license out this one. Why not?

      "Sue everybody" - Woody Allen.

    17. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by 0x0d0a · · Score: 1

      So, I'm curious. If a campaign contribution isn't a bribe, what exactly do you call it?

    18. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by Libertarian001 · · Score: 1

      You're too late...I've already patented it :)

    19. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Can I patent not getting laid?

    20. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by rlanctot · · Score: 1

      In other latebreaking news, the Royal Bank of Canada has patented the phrase 'You're Screwed (tm)' in response to requests about numerous unwarrented 'alien invasion data backup' fees.

    21. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by Juanvaldes · · Score: 1

      ummm.....a small bribe?

    22. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by teg · · Score: 1

      So, I'm curious. If a campaign contribution isn't a bribe, what exactly do you call it?

      Some people may actually contirubte because they believe in the cause. Companies hedging their bets by giving to both candidates, otoh... or things like Disney extending copyright periods by buying senators... is not quite the same.

    23. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by pjay_dml · · Score: 1

      The patent was posted "October 5, 2001", this would be more than 2 years back.

      I am writing this issue into the wiki of Wikipatent.org. Therefore I need examples of prior art. Could you do me a favour, and supply me with more information (bank name, where in england, and other helpful info). I would really appreciate your help, as we want to create a database listing disputed patents, along with existing prior art.

    24. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by Hognoxious · · Score: 1
      Ok, I'm going to file for my own patent. I'll call it "Geek Apartment" and it will consist of empty soda cans, dirty laundry, an unmade bed,
      Prior art. Well it's prior, I don't know if you can consider anything by Tracy Emin to be art.
      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
    25. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by Bull999999 · · Score: 1

      USPTO granted countless stupid patents to large corporations, individuals, and everything/one in between.

      The younger crowd bitches the most, yet they have the lowest percentage of votes. Seniors, who happens to have the largest percentage of voters, don't give a rat's ass about patents. They care about Social Security and Medicare. Why do you think that they are the buzz words most often mentioned in politics?

      I did some volunteer work for a representitive in the past and representitives actually send a good deal of their and their staffs' time for resolving voter issues because ultimately, it's the voters who elect them, not corporations.

      Why I see it, the biggest enemy to democracy/republic are ignorants like you who say people's votes don't matter, not the large corporations.

      --
      1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
    26. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by AngusOg · · Score: 1
      The last time I tried to clean up the funny smell that's been growing in the corner, it beat me with a stick and made me feed it Doritos crumbs.
      It's called a "wife"

      You insensitive clod -- he doesn't even have a girlfriend.

      It's called a "mom"

    27. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by MoonBuggy · · Score: 2, Interesting

      It's not solid evidence, but the bank was Abbey National and there's an old mailing list archive from November 2000 mentioning it here.

      A better source I've Googled up from way back in June 2000 (18 months before this patent) is here. It talks about Abbey planning to open banks containing franchised cafes and internet banking kiosks as well as clearly showing a picture of a children's play area. I think that pretty much covers the washington patnet.

      There are some excerpts here from 2000 too, if you scroll down a bit.

      Can you give me the URL of your article, I'd be interested to read it - if you need any more links I can do some more digging but I think that BBC article is fairly comprehensive.

    28. Re:Since when is environment patentable? by pjay_dml · · Score: 1

      ThanX for your support. VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!!!

      Haven't had a chance yet to look into those links, nor to start changing the page I had created in the wiki.

      The site and project has just started, so you might be a little disappointed, as there is not too much to be found yet. Here are a few links:
      - List of Disputed Patents:
      Disputed Patents
      - Patent No.6,681,985 - Bank Branch Office Design
      Wiki Page - wouldn't really call it an article though!

      Thank you for your offer on help. If you are interested in the subject, and would like to contribute a little, take a look at our site, and give us your input. ALL comments welcome!

  3. Physical design by bar-agent · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I'm actually okay with this one. At least this is a patent on something physical, something that can be built.

    A retail layout is more like a device to increase sales, than a business method is.

    --
    i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain [bash.org]
    1. Re:Physical design by Vicegrip · · Score: 5, Funny

      A 20 year monopoly on the arrangment of 'stuff' is ok with you?

      By the way, I hope you are not infringing my patent on "poor taste furniture" covering such things such as the use of duct tape to cover broken springs.

      Also, if you hang up your towels next to your shower, I'm going to sue.

      --
      Do not spread "09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0" over the internet, thank you.
    2. Re:Physical design by kfg · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm actually okay with this one. At least this is a patent on something physical, something that can be built.

      Dear Sir,

      I note that the way you have laid out your work area including a play area for your child is my idea, as is the coffepot in the corner.

      This is my intellectual property. If you do not remove the playpen and coffee pot you will be hearing from my laywers.

      Good day.

      KFG

    3. Re:Physical design by PepsiProgrammer · · Score: 1

      Yeah at least it is something physical, and better than alot of patents awarded lately. But it still goes against the original idea behind patents, to encourage people to come up with new technological advances or improve existing technology. Patents were never intended to give people a monopoly over just a neat idea that can potentially make money.

      --
      "The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else." - Bush 05
    4. Re:Physical design by bar-agent · · Score: 1

      A 20 year monopoly on the arrangment of 'stuff' is ok with you?

      Compared to business method and "one-click" patents? Yeah.

      --
      i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain [bash.org]
    5. Re:Physical design by AhBeeDoi · · Score: 1
      Patents were never intended to give people a monopoly over just a neat idea that can potentially make money.
      That's is precisely why patents are given.

      The unintended consequence is that shifty IP carpetbaggers and claimjumpers will apply for a patent on an existing ideas and technologies in order to extort undeserved licensing fees. They couch their patent application language in broad or vague terms to disguise their real targets, not that it seems to matter as the patent office examiners seem totally clueless.

      If patent examiners only lived in the same world as the rest of us, we wouldn't have this bogus new business model of suing for IP violations when no such thing really exists.

    6. Re:Physical design by danheskett · · Score: 1

      That would be true if this was for a teller-free banking establishment. You make it sound like any place with a play center for kids and coffee machine is infringing.

      Hopefully you know that your over simplification is moronic.

    7. Re:Physical design by trashme · · Score: 1

      From claim #1 of the patent text:

      wherein each of the teller podiums is configured for live, personal interaction between the customer and a physically present bank teller

      I have no idea where you got this idea it was a teller-free banking establishment. Maybe you should patent the idea.

    8. Re:Physical design by XryanX · · Score: 1

      I'm sure the ATM has already been patented.

    9. Re:Physical design by kfg · · Score: 1

      Dear Sir,

      You miss my point. It was the claim that "it had to be built" made it patentable. "Having to be built" does not make something an invention. Playgrounds in a business establishment are not an "invention", nor are they even novel.

      I'll note, however, that you have Quicken installed on your machine and do some banking and stock trading online. These are traditional banking services.

      I also note that you have thought about installing LED lighting in your workspace. That would have to be "built." I'm afraid I have a patent on LED lighting in working spaces.

      I also have seperate patents on LED lighting in banks, toy stores, homes, fishtanks, restaurants, microwave ovens, green houses, automobiles, airplanes, submarines, sailboats, motor boats, house boats, shanty boats, canoes, RVs, lawn ornaments, book cases, kitchen cabinets, along with several thousand more unique places to employ LED lighting.

      The are all physical objects. All "have to be built." Thus you will have no objection to paying me patent royalties on all of these "inventions."

      I also have patents on banks with LED lighting and a coffee pot, toy stores with LED lighting and a coffee pot, homes with LED lighting and a coffee pot, etc. You will need a seperate license for those.

      I've pretty well got the "with a potted plant" market covered too, so don't get your hopes up that I've left a loophole anywhere.

      KFG

    10. Re:Physical design by pavon · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Lets look at it another way. If you ask "Is this tolerable?" then there is always an argument that it is, and the system will just continue to get worse, but we will get accustumed to it, and each successive change won't look that bad.

      We should instead be asking "Is this necisarry or benificial to society?". That is the whole purpose of patents - to provide individual incentive so that technology progesses quicker than it would otherwise. So ask yourself - did this invention require a large investment to discover that can only be recouped by granting a monopoly on it's use? No. I'm sure discovering the invention itself did not require any substantial investment. Implementing it will but those are normal business costs and don't need to be protected as everyone who implements this idea will have to pay them, not just the inventor.

      Do the benifits of having the plans to this invention out in the open, as opposed to it being kept as a trade secret, overweight the detriment of having to wait 20 years to use those plans? No - this is a concept whose details are obvious once implemented and thus there is no chance for the inventor to hoard this idea as trade secret. In other words, the plan will be in the open regardless of whether it is patented or not, so it does not benifit society to wait 20 years for what it could have now.

      Would the inventor still have invented this as quickly if patent system did not exist? Yes, and not only that but I am sure the bank would also have implemented the idea even if they couldn't patent it. This patent does nothing to benifit society so there is no reason that a sensible patent system should allow it.

    11. Re:Physical design by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Two wrongs don't make a right.

    12. Re:Physical design by rhizome · · Score: 1

      >A retail layout is more like a device to increase
      >sales, than a business method is.

      that's stretching the definition of "device" almost to meaninglessness. would you also consider a particular layout and architecture to be a business method for increasing sales and customer satisfaction? which, of "device" and "business method", bears a closer relation to their concept?

      --
      When I was a kid, we only had one Darth.
    13. Re:Physical design by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I also have seperate patents on LED lighting in banks, toy stores, homes, fishtanks, restaurants, microwave ovens, green houses, automobiles, airplanes, submarines, sailboats, motor boats, house boats, shanty boats, canoes

      Now all you need is a patent on green eggs and ham being served in all those places, and you'll be set for life!

    14. Re:Physical design by iabervon · · Score: 1

      It's not a 20 year monopoly on the arrangement of stuff. It's a 20-year monopoly on an arrangement of stuff. People are perfectly free to arrange their stuff in some other way. And kiosks for getting money in a bank does seem novel to me.

      If you come up with a new way of making broken furniture useable, or if you find a place to put the towels that nobody has ever put them before, you're welcome to get a 20-year monopoly.

    15. Re:Physical design by Ryosen · · Score: 4, Insightful

      > And kiosks for getting money in a bank does seem novel to me.

      They even have a novel name for them..."ATM".

      --

      Ryosen
      One man's "Troll, +1" is another man's "Insightful, +1".
    16. Re:Physical design by utexaspunk · · Score: 1

      i actually bank at WaMu, and their branch design is definitely unique, and i'd recognize if someone was trying to rip off their design. the "kiosks" are interesting- they're basically manually-operated ATMs (MTM's, if you will) it makes them pretty much robbery-proof, and allows the tellers to be in the middle of the store instead of up against a wall like most banks. it's a good design, and i'd say they deserve some credit for it, if it's theirs...

    17. Re:Physical design by dipipanone · · Score: 1

      Now all you need is a patent on green eggs and ham being served in all those places, and you'll be set for life!

      I don't think so somehow. Not with all of those people who would not, could not eat them there -- and would not, could not anywhere!

    18. Re:Physical design by utexaspunk · · Score: 1

      So ask yourself - did this invention require a large investment to discover that can only be recouped by granting a monopoly on it's use? No. I'm sure discovering the invention itself did not require any substantial investment

      uhh... you think those store designs just popped into someone's head for free? there's this thing called market research, and it's not usually cheap. i'm sure they spent a not-insignificant amount of money studying what people need to feel comfortable, what works, etc. have you been in one of these banks? they're significantly different from an ordinary bank. they put up the capital to research and come up with this design, perhaps they deserve to have exclusive use of it for a while

      Do the benifits of having the plans to this invention out in the open, as opposed to it being kept as a trade secret, overweight the detriment of having to wait 20 years to use those plans? No - this is a concept whose details are obvious once implemented and thus there is no chance for the inventor to hoard this idea as trade secret. In other words, the plan will be in the open regardless of whether it is patented or not, so it does not benifit society to wait 20 years for what it could have now.

      so do you suggest that any mechanical invention shouldn't be patentable, since one could easily disassemble it and see how it works? no- patents protect those things which the inventors specifically CAN'T hoard as a trade secret, because otherwise they would (see Coca-Cola).

      The whole point is to encourage development of things which require significant capital to engineer but very little to reverse-engineer by prohibiting the reverse-engineering for a while so that the person who originally put up the capital will find that investment worthwhile.

    19. Re:Physical design by jez9999 · · Score: 1

      Dear Sir,

      I have moved the playpen to the corner and the coffeepot to the table in the middle of the room.

      If you change your layout in the same fashion, you will be hearing from my lawyers.

      Good day.

    20. Re:Physical design by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm sure the ATM has already been patented.
      I'm sure that the article isn't about ATMs, but then I read TFA whereas you are a 'tard. Good day.

    21. Re:Physical design by XryanX · · Score: 1

      "I have no idea where you got this idea it was a teller-free banking establishment. Maybe you should patent the idea."

      I'm pretty sure my response was a half-joking reply to the quoted statement.

    22. Re:Physical design by Chazmyrr · · Score: 1

      The patent office gets funded based on how many patents they approve. Not how many they examine. I'd say they live in exactly the same world as the rest of us.

    23. Re:Physical design by AhBeeDoi · · Score: 1

      That is completely false.

  4. Ahhhh by michaeltoe · · Score: 3, Interesting

    This kind of nonsense will just accelerate the collapse of our intellectual property system. It won't be pretty, but maybe it will actually work if we need to start from scratch.

    1. Re:Ahhhh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      We can hope, I guess. Unfortunately, the intellectual "property" system is still backed up by american nukes, and politicians smart enough to realise that the control over information flow that I"P" gives translates very readily to power - and politicians are mostly people who seek personal power, not people interested in serving the populace.

    2. Re:Ahhhh by mOoZik · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Why is it nonsense? It is a unique take on a banking environment and is very different from anything else out there. At first glance, it does seem silly, but upon closer examination, it appears apt.

    3. Re:Ahhhh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

      Patents aren't just awarded for "uniqueness". Seriously, this is stupid. It's a room layout, for god's sake. Patents are about stopping competition, plain and simple - how the hell are customers better off now that this bank can stop other banks raising their service levels as high to remain competitive?

    4. Re:Ahhhh by Darby · · Score: 1

      Why is it nonsense? It is a unique take on a banking environment and is very different from anything else out there. At first glance, it does seem silly, but upon closer examination, it appears apt.

      Well, I work in a bank (Credit Union) that has toys, coffee and kiosks.
      I'm much less impressed with this than you are.

    5. Re:Ahhhh by eric76 · · Score: 1

      How about popcorn?

      The bank a block away from my office serves popcorn.

      Maybe the local bank here should patent that.

  5. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Just be glad it hasn't been stashed in the "your rights online" section.

  6. What is new about this? by rollingcalf · · Score: 0, Redundant

    Other places like Borders have been doing this kind of thing for years.

    So it looks like the new trend is to take any old concept or practice, add "in a bank" and get a patent, instead of adding "on the internet".

    --
    ---------
    There is inferior bacteria on the interior of your posterior.
    1. Re:What is new about this? by gellenburg · · Score: 2, Informative

      I;ve got mod points but rahter than mod you as an idiot, I've got to respond.

      I am no fan of the USPTO, and think that some of their more recent patents have been ludicrous, but WaMu's patent is not what you are talking about. Did you even read the fucking article? (fuck acronyms)

      Borders does not have a concierge (at least none of the one's I've been to). Neither does Waldenbook's, B. Dalton's, etc. Unless the register clerk counts, which they don't.

      Yes, Borders has a coffee shop, but WaMu doesn't. Serving coffee and having a coffee shop where one can get a danish & coffee while reading a book, and serving coffee to someone while they wait to speak to someone else about opening up a loan isn't being copy-catting. It's called customer-service.

      That, my friend, is what this patent is about. The woman who came up with this idea recognized that what really sets banks apart from one another is the level of service they provide. All banks have CD's, all banks have Money Market Accounts, but I sure as hell won't get offered coffee if I walk into a Wachovia. I might, if I walk into WaMu.

      Personally, I don't like the new design. It reminds me of Starbucks -- not because of the coffee -- but because of the "chic'ness" and trendiness of the place. Plus, Starbucks reminds me of paying too damn much for a shitty cup of coffee.

      Maybe that's why I bank with a credit union. I prefer to use the extra money I save each month off bank fees and increased interest in my savings accounts to brew my own damn coffee.

    2. Re:What is new about this? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      No, patents are about excluding competition. While maybe it is a new thing for banks to offer such levels of service, should ANY bank have the government-enforced right to arbitrarily stop other banks doing so? That's just stupid, and you, the consumer, lose.

    3. Re:What is new about this? by sydb · · Score: 1

      It is not about customer service. It is about keeping people occupied so they don't notice that there is only one fucking teller serving a queue of twenty people.

      It's about increasing the profit margin by getting rid of people, who are expensive, and replacing them with things, which are cheap.

      Anyway, it's actually about a fucking stupid patent office.

      --
      Yours Sincerely, Michael.
    4. Re:What is new about this? by gellenburg · · Score: 2, Informative

      I'm sorry, but you don't understand what patents are for.

      From the USPTO Website:

      The patent law specifies the general field of subject matter that can be patented and the conditions under which a patent may be obtained.

      In the language of the statute, any person who "invents or discovers any new and useful process, machine, manufacture, or composition of matter, or any new and useful improvement thereof, may obtain a patent," subject to the conditions and requirements of the law. The word "process" is defined by law as a process, act or method, and primarily includes industrial or technical processes. The term "machine" used in the statute needs no explanation. The term "manufacture" refers to articles which are made, and includes all manufactured articles. The term "composition of matter" relates to chemical compositions and may include mixtures of ingredients as well as new chemical compounds. These classes of subject matter taken together include practically everything which is made by man and the processes for making the products.

      ...

      A patent cannot be obtained upon a mere idea or suggestion. The patent is granted upon the new machine, manufacture, etc., as has been said, and not upon the idea or suggestion of the new machine. A complete description of the actual machine or other subject matter for which a patent is sought is required.

      One could adequately assume that the Patent Examiner saw the method by which WaMu designed their retail branch facilitated the process of the retail customer depositing money or opening a new account more efficiently, and with greater customer-service.

    5. Re:What is new about this? by gellenburg · · Score: 1

      By your same argument, the washing machine should never have been patented, because it cut costs and helped put an end to the household servant industry because now there was a machine that did the work of a person.

      Or what about all the cotton-field workers who lost their jobs upon the creation of the Cotton Gin? (the first machine ever patented). Eli Whitney if I recall.

      What about all the related people in the horse-carriage business who lost their jobs upon the creation and patenting of the combustion engine and automobile?

      Let's face it, who actually goes into a bank branch anymore except to open up a new account? I've got a branch office for my CU in my office building, and the only time I ever go down there (other than to simply say hello) is if there's a problem with my account (which I could just as easily do over the web or phone - but since they're 500 feet away, why not go downstairs?)

    6. Re:What is new about this? by tomhudson · · Score: 2, Informative
      Quote from their site:
      Instead, a casually dressed "concierge" greets customers and directs them to the right service area.
      --- and quote from parent poster ---
      Borders does not have a concierge (at least none of the one's I've been to). Neither does Waldenbook's, B. Dalton's, etc
      Well, I guess WalMart can sue them now. The bank's "concierge" is the same as WalMart's greeter, just with a frenchified title.
      All banks have CD's, all banks have Money Market Accounts, but I sure as hell won't get offered coffee if I walk into a Wachovia. I might, if I walk into WaMu.
      Guess you've never stood in line at a Toronto-Dominion (TD-Canada Trust) bank. If there's a lineup, the manager comes out with coffee for the customers and even (*gasp*) talks to them!

      It's not patentable. The USPTO fucked up. Layers will make money from this. Film at 11:00. So what else is new?

    7. Re:What is new about this? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Borders may "not have a concierge", but my favourite brothel does, and serves coffee / snacks / drinks while I "wait to speak to someone else about" errr, you know what.

      Ditto my hair-dresser.

      Good customer serve makes great business sense, but does not rise to the level of originality that should be required for a patent.

    8. Re:What is new about this? by gellenburg · · Score: 1

      Last I checked, the USPTO didn't have jurisdiction over Canadian patents.

    9. Re:What is new about this? by thrash242 · · Score: 2, Funny

      I'm happy with the Washington Mutual branch here. I've never once seen "one fucking teller serving a queue of twenty people." there. There are usually two or three tellers serving a line of maybe 3 people max. The service there is actually very good. It's a very different atmosphere from most banks, which I like. And the Gameboy Advance and toys they have aren't just for kids, either, but the little chairs suck (ouch, my back).

      As far as patenting it goes, I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I must admit the concept is very new and novel for banks. It's not just the arrangement of furniture, it's the whole deal.

    10. Re:What is new about this? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You're confusing what the law says and what actually happens. What the law says patents are for has not matched what they're actually used for for a very long time.

    11. Re:What is new about this? by thrash242 · · Score: 1

      BTW, what are you talking about as far as replacing people with things? They still have people working there. The arrangment of the lobby has nothing to do with employees. Have you ever been to a WaMu? I'm guessing not, given your use of the word "queue" to mean a line of people and the fact that they only exist (as far as I know) in the US.

    12. Re:What is new about this? by tomhudson · · Score: 1
      Poster wrote:
      Last I checked, the USPTO didn't have jurisdiction over Canadian patents.

      The USPTO is one of the accredited reviewing offices with WIPO (World Intellectual Property Organisation), so the bank can now apply for a patent in Canada and it's granting is expedited.

      ... of course, nobody at a Canadian bank would be stupid or desperate enough to try such tomfoolery ... but now that the ice has been broken, who knows what's going to happen.

      There's plenty of "prior art".

      The concierge is the same as WalMart's greeter (they even give the same description in their patent application - someone who greets the person when they walk in).

      Lots of businesses have play areas for kids while their parents are busy. IKEA, for example, with their ball room.

      And if you have enough $$$ in the bank, or you're applying for a big enough loan, they WILL serve you coffee when you come calling. And LOTS of companies give free coffee to people who come in to do business.

      Another fuckup, pure and simple. These bogus patents debase the value of all patents, same as counterfeit money debases the value of all currency.

    13. Re:What is new about this? by trashme · · Score: 2

      You just gave three examples of complex mechanical inventions. None of them trivial. You are comparing it to an arrangement of items. Nothing new. In fact, this arrangement doesn't even really do anything.

      Proof by analogy is usually flowed. Yours is flawed moreso.

    14. Re:What is new about this? by Macadamizer · · Score: 2, Informative

      "Last I checked, the USPTO didn't have jurisdiction over Canadian patents"

      You're right, but, in general, prior art anywhere in the world (subject to some limitations) can prevent the grant of a patent in the U.S., event hough U.S. doesn't have "jurisdiction" over patents and art elsewhere.

      --

      "That's not even wrong..." -- Wolfgang Pauli
    15. Re:What is new about this? by RDPIII · · Score: 1

      Maybe that's why I bank with a credit union. I prefer to use the extra money I save each month off bank fees and increased interest in my savings accounts to brew my own damn coffee.

      I did some research on banks and credit unions where I live (New York metro) and concluded that Washington Mutual and Greenpoint Bank offered the best value to a regular guy like myself. Almost every bank, except for the biggest few, beat my employer's credit union hands down. Washington Mutual and Greenpoint have some very nice interest-bearing checking accounts. My local credit union doesn't pay any interest on checking, lousy rates on savings, and though their fees are low, this is offset by the annual membership fee. This trend is only going to get worse, with more and more credit unions being consolidated and merged.

      Unless you're lucky enough to have a well managed, profitable credit union, your best bet is to choose a small or medium bank. Forget the big players, some of which are already close to their maximal size (controlling close to 10% of all deposits with FDIC-insured banks), since they tend to charge high fees to ordinary customers.

      --
      Marklar: marklar
    16. Re:What is new about this? by sydb · · Score: 1

      I'm talking about the trend of making banks into "relaxation centres". I'm in the UK. I have never been to Washington Mutual. But several years ago we started seeing traditional banks mutate from business-like environments into "pleasant spaces".

      In Scotland, the Bank of Scotland was the first to go this way, getting rid of of tellers behind a counter and replacing them with tables where you could "sit down and relax".

      At the same time, there are fewer and fewer staff in the banks. Queues get longer, but you're not supposed to mind because it's a "nicer environment".

      It's a bank. I want to go in, conduct my financial business quickly and efficiently and get out. If that was what the banks were working towards then I could say they are for customer service. But they're not. They just want to distract you from the annoyance of waiting to be served.

      Of course, some of the less high-brow banks just got rid of the staff without making the atmospheric adjustments. I've seen queues out the door when it's been at it's worst. (Clydesdale Bank, can you hear me?)

      If it hasn't gone this way yet in the states, then I'm surprised.

      --
      Yours Sincerely, Michael.
    17. Re:What is new about this? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Guess you've never stood in line at a Toronto-Dominion (TD-Canada Trust) bank. If there's a lineup, the manager comes out with coffee for the customers and even (*gasp*) talks to them!

      Which TD branch is that? I've never heard of that happening to anyone.

    18. Re:What is new about this? by I8TheWorm · · Score: 1

      Funny... my main accounts are with Bank of America, and they, right at the front door, have a greeter to show you where to go. At the little island counter where you fill out deposit slips is a fresh pot of coffee. And between the tellers and the desk folk, there is a waiting area and a children's play center. Prior art?

      Not really, just a stupid patent issue.

      My deepest hope is this is the proverbial straw, and an overhaul of the USPTO becomes necessary.

      --
      Saying Android is a family of phones is akin to saying Linux is a family of PCs.
    19. Re:What is new about this? by tomhudson · · Score: 1
      AC asked:
      Which TD branch is that? I've never heard of that happening to anyone.
      TD-Canada Trust at the Corner of Cote Vertu and Begin streets :-) Saw it with my own eyes.
    20. Re:What is new about this? by amber_of_luxor · · Score: 1

      Bank of America, and they, right at the front door, have a greeter to show you where to go.

      The local Bank of America banch has a security guard telling you to use the ATMs. If you want another banking service, you have to find another branch.

      Amber

      --
      Wind Beneath Thy Wings
  7. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    Patents convert free markets into control economies (fascism). Software patents are a particularly easy target, but actually all patents are pretty unethical and immoral in my book - why the fuck should anyone have a 20-year government-enforced artificial monopoly on the production of anything?

  8. Wouldn't a copyright be more applicable... by mikael · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Furniture designers and architects file copyrights on their designs all the time. Wouldn't a copyright for a particular design be more appropriate. They really didn't invent anything new ... Dentists, doctors, DIY stores and fitness centres have been doing this for ages.

    --
    Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
  9. Outsourcing for the fiduciary folks. by dilweed · · Score: 1

    So, they've copyrighted a way to eliminate tellers, huh?

    No big deal. In my experience tellers and branch managers have thier hands tied by corporate policy and the FDIC anyway. There's no REAL level of customer service anymore. It's all just servicing the customer.

    1. Re:Outsourcing for the fiduciary folks. by dilweed · · Score: 1

      My mistake. I understod kiosk to mean "ATM Machine".

      Customer service will still suck.

    2. Re:Outsourcing for the fiduciary folks. by thrash242 · · Score: 1

      I still don't really know what "kiosk" means, but it doesn't mean ATM.

      Basically, for those who are making self-righteous comments without having ever been into one of the banks, there are square counters spread around in the lobby at which a teller stands and the customer walks up to the other side. In other words, all the employees aren't behind a counter and window. The kids section is in a corner and has a GBA and other things. I've never personally been offered coffee or popcorn, but that may vary from bank to bank.

      Anyway, to reply to your comment, the customer service at the WaMu I go to does *not* suck at all. It's very quick, the people are very friendly and it's relatively painless. I never have to stand in line for more than a minute.

      So please try not to reply unless (a) you're commenting on the validity of patenting a lobby/office/service arrangement and method and have read the article, or (b) have actually *been* to one of the banks and are offering your opinion based on your experiences.

    3. Re:Outsourcing for the fiduciary folks. by nelsonal · · Score: 1

      From what I have heard, WaMu uses a very non-traditional layout of their branches. Rather than a seires of desks on one side of the room, with a wall of tellers and a rope arrangement, they have several podiums scattered around the lobby area, which allow users to walk up to their choice of tellers and conduct their busines.
      While I haven't been to one of the kiosk style branches (mine was a traditional branch, I've always found WaMu to be one of the better banking choices I've used. They offered better deals on checking accounts than anyone other than a credit union. Customer service was excellent, although I was friends with several tellers so that could be part of it.

      --
      Degaussing scares the bad magnetism out of the monitor and fills it with good karma.
  10. This is really getting ridiculous! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    What's next?

    Patenting farting in the tub for those who can't afford a real hot tub?

  11. Rerun by Jack+Action · · Score: 2, Interesting
    The USA is looking more and more like Spain circa 1700 all the time. Less and less is produced in the US each year, but tax is taken off legitimate enterprise. (Like the Spaniards who sat back and lived off the gold from their Empire, ceasing to work.)

    Sad, really.

    1. Re:Rerun by AaronGTurner · · Score: 1

      "Less and less is produced in the US each year," GDP in the USA is up, although GDP per worker per hour (aka productivity) is only increasing gradually (circa 1.5%/year), but then there are limits to how much people can do. Whether moving the furniture about in a bank helps, I am not sure, but it can probably have an effect on other offices .

    2. Re:Rerun by robogun · · Score: 0, Troll

      What is made in the United States anymore? Nothing. Except intellectual property (the type to block competition, rather than coming up with innovative ideas) and lawyers. Unless you live in China, do you, or anyone you know, make anything for a living. Half the people around here (Calif.) get their livings by re-re-financing their houses, which actually go up in value $1,000 a day. The rest push around paper and IM each other in offices all day in "service" livelihoods.
      And they all think this "productivity" will continue forever.

    3. Re:Rerun by Gabrill · · Score: 1

      Speaking unofficially as an employee at a major US factory, I can assure you that these United States make a significant portion of the world's baby wipes.

      --
      Always going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.
    4. Re:Rerun by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's right, computer programmers and other so-called "IP" workers produce nothing of any lasting value.

      It should not be counted towards GDP, the way that oil and steel are. It's just words, images, bits and bytes.

    5. Re:Rerun by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Agreed. And I'm a programmer!

  12. I hearby patent breakfast nook by mo · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Here's a list of other building layouts that pop into mind as patentable based on this precedent:
    • fast-food drive thru
    • Ikea's linear flow (start in one spot, pay at the end
    • Doctors' offices with the front desk and waiting room and the numerous patients' rooms behind the door.
    • Fry's electronics queueing layout with impulse shelves
    • Stadium Seating in the movies
    • Casino layouts that obscure the exit

    I was hoping to one day contract an architect to design a house that perfectly suited my family's needs. It would suck to have to get a patent attorney to check for prior art on my "invention".
    1. Re:I hearby patent breakfast nook by CrankyFool · · Score: 1

      Except, of course, that all of these have been done. In other words, you've not come up with an original idea.

      A bank branch that's oriented toward providing coffee, child areas, etc, however, hasn't been done. I'll point to the fact no bank I know does this as proof.

      Hence, unlike your ideas, WaMu came up with an actual original idea and patented.

      OK, that makes sense to me.

    2. Re:I hearby patent breakfast nook by jpaz · · Score: 1

      I call prior art on stadium seating.

      Namely, stadiums (stadia?) around the world.

    3. Re:I hearby patent breakfast nook by Dausha · · Score: 1

      Hate to tell you that most of that is not patentable. Even if the original creator of the ideas you cite wanted to secure a patent, it would be too late because his ideas are in the mainstream. This type of protection is the same as when an individual holds a patent but decides not to enforce it until the concept gains market share. I'm more surprised you garnered a 4-insightful.

      And, I believe architectural plans are copyright, not patent.

      --
      What those who want activist courts fear is rule by the people.
    4. Re:I hearby patent breakfast nook by dosius · · Score: 1

      As to the ridiculousness of patenting Stadium Seating the movie theater in Oswego, NY had it as early as 1986 on all upstairs screens (1 in 1986; 2 in 1992 when I was last there). Regal was touting it a couple years ago as a new thing, like hell it was. It was NO DIFFERENT from what Oswego had 15 years earlier.

      Moll.

      --
      What you hear in the ear, preach from the rooftop Matthew 10.27b
    5. Re:I hearby patent breakfast nook by mo · · Score: 1

      quote: WaMu came up with an actual original idea and patented.

      Imagine, for a moment, that the inventors of my examples *had* patented them. Such that for 20 years, nobody could build a drive-thru, doctor's office, or single-file checkout queue. The issue isn't if their idea is original (and Border's, Ikea, WalMart, etc would contest that it's not). The issue, however, is that the negative impact of allowing them a government-granted monopoly on a building layout grossly outweighs any incentive this patent might have given them to implement this idea.

    6. Re:I hearby patent breakfast nook by FullCircle · · Score: 1

      What? This is how patents are used these days.

      Patent something, wait until it is commonly used, then sue. You are thinking of trademarks, which you do have to defend. You can be as selective as you want with patents.

      Why else would anyone patent something? The original intent of patents required you to actually produce a product. This method takes that whole nasty research, production, marketing, distribution non-sense out of your way and it is legal, if not moral.

      --
      If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy. - James Madison
    7. Re:I hearby patent breakfast nook by cowscows · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I've been to plenty of places that provided those amenities, just none of them were banks before. I've been to a million auto repair shops where they had a little coffee station. Pretty much any doctor or dentist's office has a corner full of toys for kids. Some of them probably offer coffee too. Why does the fact that WaMu is a bank make their idea so unique and worth protecting?

      --

      One time I threw a brick at a duck.

  13. what about apple? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    why hasn't apple done this with their stores? considering that all their stores have an extremely specific "look and feel" i'm really quite surprised that i haven't heard about them doing this with their store design...

    1. Re:what about apple? by bar-agent · · Score: 1

      why hasn't apple done this with their stores?

      I bet they will, now. Washington Mutual is just the trend-setter here. They are pretty proud of the work they've done on this; it is a new thing for banks.

      --
      i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain [bash.org]
  14. I just don't want hear about patent crap anymore.. by Vellmont · · Score: 1

    It's become like hearing about every murder in the newspaper. I know they happen, there's not much I can do about it, and hearing about it only upsets me. We all know the patent laws are screwed up here on slashdot, do we really need to hear about every new stupid thing that should never have been issued a patent?

    --
    AccountKiller
  15. The next step is to sue every McDonald's by kfg · · Score: 3, Insightful

    with an ATM machine.

    KFG

    1. Re:The next step is to sue every McDonald's by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Automated teller machine machine? Shouldn't that be Little Caesar's then? Pizza pizza!

    2. Re:The next step is to sue every McDonald's by biobogonics · · Score: 1

      The next step is to sue every McDonald's with an ATM machine.

      Or every grocery store with a bank branch.

  16. Perversion of IP by PenguinJames · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This is a complete perversion of the concept of Intellectual Property. The US Consitution allows things like patents and other IP "To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts". Recent patents granted by USPTO are just absurd, and do not fulfill the original intent of the Consitutional basis for IP in the US.

    --
    The box said, "Requires Windows XP or Better"...
    So I installed Linux.
    1. Re:Perversion of IP by utexaspunk · · Score: 1

      This is a complete perversion of the concept of Intellectual Property. The US Consitution allows things like patents and other IP "To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts". Recent patents granted by USPTO are just absurd, and do not fulfill the original intent of the Consitutional basis for IP in the US.

      is design not a "useful art?" the positive response to a recent story would suggest otherwise. should i be allowed to make a complete rip-off of the iPod's design, just because "hey, buttons and dials have been around forever... prior art!" screw that- design is a lot of work, whether it's industrial design, typographic design, or interior design. if you've been into one of these banks, you'd immediately recognize that they have a unique setup that they obviously invested time and money to come up with. should that investment not be rewarded? would it not discourage similar investments if another national bank were to copy their store layout and remove any competitive advantage they may reap from their unique design?

    2. Re:Perversion of IP by jsebrech · · Score: 1

      is design not a "useful art?" the positive response to a recent story would suggest otherwise. should i be allowed to make a complete rip-off of the iPod's design, just because "hey, buttons and dials have been around forever... prior art!" screw that- design is a lot of work, whether it's industrial design, typographic design, or interior design.

      The argument is not whether design is a useful art, but whether the useful art progresses from being patentable. Are you arguing companies would stop designing their products if they couldn't patent the designs? The free market requires that you be at least as good as your competitors, and if possible better. It is all the incentive needed for innovation, and I see no evidence that the patent system somehow improves on that.

      And yes, you could make that argument about all patents. Which is my point entirely. If you allow monopolies on one thing, whatever argument you made for that thing can be extended to other things, and so patent systems inevitably have patent creep until they cover everything. We've seen this happen in every patent system on the planet. How does that promote progress?

  17. Re:I just don't want hear about patent crap anymor by mattkinabrewmindspri · · Score: 1

    Actually yes, yes we do.

  18. And most americans are... by howman · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    totaly unaware that the rest of the world is laughing at them and not with them... When will it end, this patent fiasco? Has the worlds super power gone totaly mad? I thought it was just the technology side of things that came up with crazy patent ideas, but come on, enviornments... I can understand some of Frank Gehry's work , but a bank that serves popcorn and has a childrens play area... Great, what if I open a Mc Corporate Death Burgers inside an AMC theatre and put in an instant teller... Am I likely to be sued?

    --
    flinging poop since 1969
    1. Re:And most americans are... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Has the worlds super power gone totaly mad?


      Yes.

      -Anonymous American
  19. Things I can look forward to... by CSharpMinor · · Score: 1

    Can I expect to get sued by Amazon the next time I remodel to use "One-Turn(tm) Opening" doors?

    How long until someone literally patents the kitchen sink?

    --

    Whatever it is I'm complaining about, I'm sure the Republicans did it. This is /., after all.
    1. Re:Things I can look forward to... by tftp · · Score: 1
      How long until someone literally patents the kitchen sink?

      Not long, because it has happened already (and there are more).

      On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with a patent on a good, innovative kitchen sink. I, personally, need to replace one in my kitchen some time soon, and I will buy the one that I like, regardless of patents.

  20. Too late to patent Feng Shui? by AaronGTurner · · Score: 1, Redundant

    Or has someone done it already, and I will have to pay a fee if I place a red candle in the northernmost corner of the living room?

  21. Laugh it's funny by Quirk · · Score: 5, Insightful

    England had Monty Python America has the USPTO

    --
    "Academicians are more likely to share each other's toothbrush than each other's nomenclature."
    Cohen
    1. Re:Laugh it's funny by Roger+Keith+Barrett · · Score: 1

      I'd like to Patent the "fish license" please!

      --

      Why don't you embrace your slashbotness instead of living in a dreamworld?
    2. Re:Laugh it's funny by Monkelectric · · Score: 1

      Actually, the US has the Upright Citizens Brigade which makes monty python look like a bunch of amateurs (and I have been a python fan for quite some time)

      --

      Religion is a gateway psychosis. -- Dave Foley

    3. Re:Laugh it's funny by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "And now to patent something, you've seen before."

  22. Yeah by challahc · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    This is one of the dumbest ideas ever. Banks are hardly even needed anymore. The only reason I go into the bank is to complain about something or to open/close accounts. The rest I do online or at an atm. Coffee doesn't make it any more necessary for me to go in.

    --
    01100010 01101001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101
    1. Re:Yeah by belmolis · · Score: 1

      I go into the bank occasionally to get rolls of quarters for doing laundry. Why we can't have ATMs that dispense the customer's selection of coins and bills I don't know. In the late 1970s I recall using ATMs in Japan that let you select the combination of bills that you wanted.

    2. Re:Yeah by challahc · · Score: 1

      Ah, Offtopic.
      I really should have elaborated. Although this doesn't seem like something that should be patented, it's not like this is some great idea. They probably would have been fine without a patent because the idea is ridiculous.

      --
      01100010 01101001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101
    3. Re:Yeah by challahc · · Score: 1

      Yes, that's something worth having. And perhaps worth patenting.

      --
      01100010 01101001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101
  23. Trade Dress by cmason32 · · Score: 4, Informative

    I don't understand how the USPTO can give out this patent. The design of a store is typically protected by trade dress. The Supreme Court has explicity stated that you're not supposed to be able patent protection if something is normally covered by trademark law. Whomever approved this needs to be canned.

    1. Re:Trade Dress by bar-agent · · Score: 3, Interesting
      Perhaps this doesn't fall under "trade dress" because (according to the Wikipedia article you linked to):
      Trade dress must also be nonfunctional in order to be legally protected; otherwise it is the subject matter of patent law, if anything.
      --
      i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain [bash.org]
    2. Re:Trade Dress by cmason32 · · Score: 1

      But this doesn't necessarily mean that it qualifies for patent protection. The non-functional issue came about in a case wherein a sign manufacturer had a patent on a sign and, once the patent had expired, tried to claim trade dress protection on the sign. The court ruled that sign, being functional (the sign had a particular way of withstanding wind), was more aptly protected by patent protection than trademark law. But that doesn't mean that a functional design can automatically get a patent.

      Plus, I'm not sure how a layout of a store is functional in the legal sense. The fact that a layout may be more asthetically pleasing does not satisfy the functional requirement.

  24. It's all about money! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Next, I will patent the little mud/wattle houses that my relatives [back in Uganda] use! These houses are cool even when the sun is at its hottest and are very uncomfortable for fleas. They are also very warm during the rainy months. They also need almost zero maintenance as thet are made of the earth. All in all, I believe this is madness. Someone might try to patent the air we breath after releasing a "purifying" compound. Remember that we [in Toronto, Canada] find ourselves in one of the most polluted environments in the world all in the name of development...geeeesh!

    Cb..

  25. if you can patent this.. by spacerodent · · Score: 2, Insightful

    if you can patant this why can't you patent a desk layout. I'll patent the peticular setup where you have the mouse on the right of the keyboard and a monitor in the front and call it "productive arrangement A" followed by variations for multiple monitors and case locations. Then following on lessions from various software companies I won't really SELL the use of the patent..I'll lease it for a nominal monthy fee. And then if you ever take a picture of your desk I can sue you for trade secrets :D

    1. Re:if you can patent this.. by danheskett · · Score: 1

      Except that what you've described isn't new to the furniture or computing industries. And it's obvious to a person with knowledge of the industry. So you wouldnt have much of a case really..

    2. Re:if you can patent this.. by nelsonal · · Score: 1

      Did you ever see Equilibrium? In their futuristic society all individualism and emotion is removed from people. All the desks are laid out precisily the same. I want a patent on that layout.

      --
      Degaussing scares the bad magnetism out of the monitor and fills it with good karma.
    3. Re:if you can patent this.. by 1ucius · · Score: 1

      People miss the point on things like this. A patent in and of itself means nothing. It's only valuable if people would may money to practice the invention. Your patent (and the bank's) are worth $0.

  26. Prior Art by Enlarge+Your+Penis · · Score: 2, Interesting

    In the UK, the Nationwide(also a mutual) already has coffee and snacks, things to keep kids occupied and anything more complicated than a simple money transfer is carried out with a customer services adviser in a relaxed setting(usually at a table)

    1. Re:Prior art by thrash242 · · Score: 1

      Why do people think "kiosk" means ATM? Now, I don't think that "kiosk" describes what the layout of the WaMus are, but here's a definition. 1. A small open gazebo or pavilion. 2. A small structure, often open on one or more sides, used as a newsstand or booth. 3. A cylindrical structure on which advertisements are posted. There are ATMs, but the point is that the tellers are not behind a counter. Look here in case you actually want to know what you're talking about before talking. Almost every post says having ATMs is not patentable, but it's not about freaking ATMs. They have ATMs outside like any bank, but inside are tellers. It's a real bank.

    2. Re:Prior Art by hattig · · Score: 1

      I too was just about to mention that this bank in America has clearly just stolen the idea from UK Building Societies ('banks' owned and run by their customers, in essence).

      I bet that desk at the entrance with the person to greet people will turn into another American "Missing you already!" charade.

      Americans. Can't live with them. Can't nuke them.

    3. Re:Prior Art by multriha · · Score: 1

      Runs out to patent: A process by which ferrets to rob banks

    4. Re:Prior Art by tgrigsby · · Score: 2, Funny

      Having the money behind a pheumatic tube does not hurt the throughput any, and is a HUGE cost savings on insurance because there is NO MONEY a wood-be robber can grab. It's all in a locked room. Unless they have trained attack ferrets to go through the tubes... a guy with a gun is only going to get what's in the people's wallets.

      AH! Finally, a use for my trained attack ferrets! Skilled in the most aggressive of martial arts, Weasel Te, and wearing clingey black body suits that my Aunt Bea knits for them, they will be able to penetrate the puny defenses of you bank and steal all the money! Today, The First National Bank of MooseBreath, Montana, tomorrow, THE WORLD!!!! bwuhahaHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

      OW! The little sh*t bit me....

      --
      *** *** You're just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me... ***
  27. Outta hand by nurb432 · · Score: 5, Funny

    When do we get to hear about a patent awarded for " a method of refreshing spent oxygen in the blood stream of mammals".

    --
    ---- Booth was a patriot ----
    1. Re:Outta hand by rd4tech · · Score: 1

      You are late : MS Air

    2. Re:Outta hand by DCMonkey · · Score: 1
      How about patent 6,723,132?

      An artificial lung for humans and other mammals inserted within the body or placed externally. The artificial lung comprises an electrically actuated three-way valve, a casing containing parallel loops of oxygenator tubes for oxygenation of blood by an atmosphere of circulating air, and an air circulation driving fan powered by an energizing system. As a safety factor in the event of leakage in the casing, a check valve is inserted in an effluent blood duct from the casing to the aerated effluent blood. Two artificial lungs can be utilized internally as left and right lungs.

      --
      DCMonkey
  28. Prior art by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

    3 pieces of prior art spring to mind:

    ATMs in convenience stores are quite common, at least here in NZ. (I assume "kiosk" means an ATM maybe with more functionality). Same combo of coffee/food/banking, just different owner.

    Internet banking in coffee shops.

    My friend's bank in Cambridge UK is combined with coffee shop, has a play area, and has ATMs inside. Also has human tellers.

    Maybe the popcorn bit is novel?

  29. of course by Trepidity · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Just because it's a real word in Latin doesn't mean it's not trademarkable. "Kentucky Fried Chicken" is a generic phrase in English, and it's a trademark. So is "Red Hat".

  30. Re:Tech news? by spectral · · Score: 1

    Because theoretically they spent money/time/energy/[some consumable resource] developing it, and are due a reward. Granted, if it's easy to clone, then perhaps it shouldn't be granted patent anyway (since it would seem obvious). However, let's imagine a sample case:

    Let's assume that after 10 years toiling away in your garage, you find out that sodium mixed with water is a good way to cure athlete's foot (hint: it's not). But somehow, you have made it so. Now, the actual process to make this miracle cure is rather easy, and thus easily cloneable. But, you spent 10 years of your life, several thousands of dollars buying pure sodium (And probably other false starts), etc.. Not to mention the personal danger you put yourself in by sticking pure sodium on your foot like an idiot. but in the end, you have managed to succeed, and you have your product.

    Now, there are two possibilities.
    No patents: You announce your product. Some other BigNameCompany decides "Hey, we're bigger than him. We can get our sodium cheaper", and makes a competing product that sells for 50 cents less than yours. You promptly go out of business, in addition to having lost all that money spent DEVELOPING the product.

    With patents: You announce your product. You have x number of years to recoup your losses before you get competition using the same process. Now, if some other company develops a process that achieves the same end result, but doesn't use what you patented, they're free to do so.

    Patents have to be non-obvious. Sticking sodium on your foot isn't that obvious to me. So I'd grant you one for this.

    Clicking your mouse on a button to buy something is rather obvious (to me at least), and probably didn't take much research to come up with. Doesn't matter how many clicks it takes, it's still clicking, and everyone's been doing that. It doesn't take much brain power to say "Hey, people will buy easier if we make it so they only have to click once instead of 5 times!"

    But yes, that's why patents exist: so that people have a reason to invent something. If you don't have a reasonable expectation of return on investment in to creating something, the only inventions made would be ones that help your company, or done by people who have the good of humanity at heart. Not many of these people are willing to spend millions of dollars to develop something for the good of humanity though, if they aren't reasonably assured that there'll be a return on that investment.

  31. Messy room? I claim Prior Art by mr_rangr · · Score: 1

    Let us know how your new USPTO acquaintances justify themselves.

  32. A hundred years ago ... by AhBeeDoi · · Score: 4, Insightful

    ...somebody suggested that the USPTO be closed because everything that can be invented has been invented. It should be closed today because it's willing to grant patents on the wheel.

    1. Re:A hundred years ago ... by trashme · · Score: 1

      The USPTO will not grant a patent on a wheel.

      Put that wheel inside of a bank, then maybe we can talk.

    2. Re:A hundred years ago ... by Svartalf · · Score: 1

      Or, express the wheel as a function of software or part of the Internet...

      Musn't forget that avenue of insanity, you know. It's just more popular (at the moment) than this bank thing.

      (Though, I will admit that I'd like to know what kind of drugs the PTO examiner was on when he/she rubber-stamped this one... It's the stupidest thing I've seen since the One-Click Patent...)

      --
      I am not merely a "consumer" or a "taxpayer". I am a Citizen of the State of Texas
    3. Re:A hundred years ago ... by Meowing · · Score: 1
      The USPTO will not grant a patent on a wheel.
      Sure they will. See patents 1,624,771 and 6,736,463 for just two of many reinvented wheels.
    4. Re:A hundred years ago ... by tftp · · Score: 1

      Just invent an ATM robot on wheels, and you can patent that easily. Walk into Washington Mutual, whistle, and a nearby ATM robot will approach you. This would be more patentable than their furniture arrangement.

    5. Re:A hundred years ago ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Shame on Slashdot for modding up to 5 a completely untrue urban myth.

      http://www.myoutbox.net/posass.htm

  33. Re:Tech news? by I_Love_Pocky! · · Score: 2, Interesting

    why the fuck should anyone have a 20-year government-enforced artificial monopoly on the production of anything?

    Well obviously this is intended to encourage research by offering a reward for new ideas, and to give an incentive to companies to release trade secerts. The problem is that patents are awarded for rediculous things (like the layout of a bank). There is no benefit to humanity if 20 years everyone has access to the wonders of washington mutual bank layout. The laws need to be changed to redefine what can and should be patented.

    Alternatively, the length of patent protection could be scaled to the relative worth of the patent. Give Washington Mutual half a year for their "wonderful" idea, but if for instance someone comes up with a design for an effective fusion reactor they can have 20-30 years of protection.

    The alternative is that monopolies can be formed in areas where no one can replicate the technology (certainly not the bank layout industry, this is just stupid).

  34. a better example by Trepidity · · Score: 1

    "Apple".

    1. Re:a better example by Lord+Kano · · Score: 3, Interesting

      "Windows"
      "Apex"
      "Camel"
      "Gateway"

      There is no shortage of "regular" words that are trademarks in certain industries.

      LK

      --
      "Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
    2. Re:a better example by Enonu · · Score: 1

      Starbucks has the word for fucking 20 in Italian (Venti) trademarked. I feel like trademarking 666, 420, and 69 and suing a bunch of clothing outlets.

    3. Re:a better example by Agrivane · · Score: 1

      "Freedom" (SM Owned by ZeroKnowledge Systems)

    4. Re:a better example by Micro$will · · Score: 1

      I'd rather let Starbucks have the trademark on a word for twenty than the Kaiser. Imagine asking for a Dickety(TM) Caramel Mochiato while wearing an onion on your belt.

  35. I wonder? by BCW2 · · Score: 1

    if the people at the USPTO will ever figure out that half the applications are from a "thundering herd of dumbass", who never invented anything. They just want to steal, like liability lawyers.

    --
    Professional Politicians are not the solution, they ARE the problem.
    1. Re:I wonder? by Svartalf · · Score: 1

      I wonder if they even care. Most of their budget comes from patent filings- so it's in their best interests to approve things, believe it or not. They're just only "slightly" careful about what they rubber-stamp. I mean, after all, if they were to rubber-stamp perpetual motion machines things that don't jive with our current models of science- I mean, someone might notice other than the geeks, you know...

      --
      I am not merely a "consumer" or a "taxpayer". I am a Citizen of the State of Texas
    2. Re:I wonder? by BCW2 · · Score: 1

      You are probably right, which leads to the following:

      It's a shame that some things don't translate to government service. Like common sense, the difference between right and wrong, justice. A sad but true comment.

      --
      Professional Politicians are not the solution, they ARE the problem.
  36. Re:Let me be the first to say by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sorry mate, but I have prior art to invalidate your patent on a messy room and I guess many others also have enough pictures.
    Maybe you could get a patent on having sex in a really messy room and sue all slashdotters who claim to have sex frequently upon infringing your patent.

  37. The admit they ripped off the concept by tomhudson · · Score: 4, Interesting
    They're going to find themselves sued for stealing other people's ideas, now that they've patented it. Here's the relevant quote from their site:
    "We took our cues from cutting edge retailers to provide an open, welcoming environment and top-notch customer service to draw customers into the branch and enhance the cross-sell of products and services," says Karen Curtin, the Planning and Franchise Development executive who leads the team responsible for creating and launching Occasio.

    "Department stores long ago adopted the 'shop within a store' concept with Polo shops and Liz Claiborne shops," says Curtin. "We did the same. Our stores have shops of their own -- like a shop for investment products and for home loan products."

    So we have their rep admitting to prior art, stealing the "idea" from Polo and Liz Claiborne (who never bothered to patent it because it really isn't patentable, but now that the USPTO says it is, hey, let the lawyers fight it out)...
    1. Re:The admit they ripped off the concept by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      you just made some lawers happy

  38. Canned? LMAO! by FlyingOrca · · Score: 1

    I originally read "caned", and thought, "YES!"

    (OK, it was funny to *me*...)

    --
    Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges.
  39. Branches by ceswiedler · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Washington Mutual is my bank, and I've been to one of these (in Foster City, CA). It's pretty cool. You still have to deal with tellers (at least at the one I was at) but more stuff is automated and the atmosphere is definitely better than a normal bank.

    I'm a fan of things like self-service checkout at the grocery store. I figure I can usually do what I need to do faster if I do it myself. For banks, this would be great if it means that they would be open later, or on Sundays. This bankers-hours crap is annoying.

    1. Re:Branches by smaug195 · · Score: 1

      That is precisely why I bank with Wells Fargo. They have instore branches that or open later monday-saturday, and are also open on sundays.

    2. Re:Branches by Octorian · · Score: 1

      Well, thankfully the WaMu near me is open until 6pm on weekdays, which in and of itself is a HUGE plus, compared with other "normal" banks that like to close at 5pm or even 4pm sometimes.

      (Always personally wondered how the world was supposed to work, when the people who provided services, and the people who took advantage of said services, were preoccupied with their respective jobs during the exact same hours.)

  40. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    the only inventions made would be ones that help your company, or done by people who have the good of humanity at heart. Not many of these people are willing to spend millions of dollars to develop something for the good of humanity though, if they aren't reasonably assured that there'll be a return on that investment.

    Ah. Well you see, you've got it a bit back-to-front. Patents therefore allow those people who _don't_ have the good of humanity at heart to compete with those who do - think about it a bit. Personally, I'd much rather inventions came from people with the good of humanity at heart than people out to make money.

  41. I'm going to patent my bank branch idea by multiplexo · · Score: 1
    That's the branch where they have money, and if you fill out some paperwork, show ID and have an account that they will accept it or give it to you. Sure, you might say that's ridiculous, or that there's a fuckload of prior art on the concept, but just because you, dear /. reader and I, a mastermind /. poster with excellent karma know that doesn't mean that those Stupid F$%^ing S(*&heads at the USPTO know that.

    --
    cheap labor conservatives - they want to keep you hungry enough to be thankful for minimum wage.
  42. Re:Let me be the first to say by shawn(at)fsu · · Score: 1

    were talking about the USPTO prior art doesn't seem to matter

    --
    500 dollar reward for tip(s) leading to the arrest of the person(s) who stole my sig.
  43. Well heck by Fizzol · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm filing a patent for my revolutionary "TV in the Bedroom" concept!

    1. Re:Well heck by hattig · · Score: 1

      Will I have to cite you when I make my "computer in the bedroom" patent, and then 3 years further down the line "computerised entertainment doll in the bedroom" patent?

  44. Annoying by moertle · · Score: 1

    only 1 of the 3 washington mutuals in my area still have the traditional teller layout. the new design feels akward to me. when it is busy there are no defined lines to wait in. plus i've already left the bank with my money still in the tray that automatically dispenses it because it was low and out of sight.

    --
    I hold a patent on sigs...
    1. Re:Annoying by HermanAB · · Score: 1

      Left them some money - That is the whole idea behind their business model...

      --
      Oh well, what the hell...
  45. PRIOR ART by jb.hl.com · · Score: 1

    IIRC, Abbey National (now Abbey) did this in the UK for a time.

    There's plenty of proof of this in just these friggin Google summaries.

    --
    By summer it was all gone...now shesmovedon. --
  46. Ack! by /dev/trash · · Score: 1

    I hear someone actually patented Blue Jeans!

    1. Re:Ack! by Meowing · · Score: 3, Informative
      I hear someone actually patented Blue Jeans!
      Yep, US patent 139121. And why not? The riveted canvas thing really was different at the time.
  47. Are we surprised? by Kwil · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I mean, c'mon, the USPTO makes the majority of its money these days on providing and renewing patents. It makes nothing on investigating or refusing them.

    So really, the fact that they'll patent anything under the sun should come as no real shock to anybody.

    You want to fix the USPTO? Fix how they get funded.

    --

    That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn! -NJ CoolBreeze

  48. Franchises by tiny69 · · Score: 1
    The San Francisco Chronicle reports that it may be the first time the USPTO has awarded a patent for the design of a retail store/presence.
    Great, now every franchise theme bar and restaurant is going to rush out and file for a patent.
    --
    Go not unto/. for advice, for you will be told both yea and nay (but have nothing to do with the question)
  49. Then and Now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    100 years ago, PT Barnum once said, "There's a sucker born every minute.". Today, PT Ofiice says, "There's an employee born every minute."

  50. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    You've set up a false dichotomy. There are many other ways for inventors to get a reasonable return on investment other than a 20-year monopoly grant that stops anyone else building on their innovation.

    Here's one example: how about just giving decent tax breaks for inventors? Of course, businesses _already_ get huge tax breaks just by sorta existing, as far as I can tell, and also only pay the bulk of tax on revenue rather than income, but even so, more tax breaks would work IMHO. If one of the major justifications for patents is to "encourage disclosure of the workings of inventions" (and it is), then just give the tax break anyone registers the designs for their new product (and only give the tax break while the product is on the market...). This would give the advantages of patents (disclosure encouragement, incentives), without the restrictions on everybody else's freedom the current patent system brings!

    And I haven't even mentioned the "myth of the lone inventor": Most patents are actually held by huge corporations, who then simply cross-license them with other large corporations to build cosy oligopolies and bar new entrants from the market (that is to say, prevent commoditisation). Patents are really about market control.

  51. Bank robbers.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ..can now pillage in comfort with the new, luxurious and relaxing environment:

    "Give me all the money in the safe, a foot massage and an iced tea"

  52. Re:Let me be the first to say by danheskett · · Score: 1

    This is ri God Damned diculous
    What is your specific problem with this patent? Or are you just pissed off and venting "to the choir"?

    Of all the patent stories on slashdot recently, this is probably one of the ones you should get least "pissed" about.

    Screw it I'm going to get a patent for my messy room and anybody who has a messy room will have to pay me.
    Ahh, see. You are being stupid. Is your messy room novell and/or a non-trivial improvement over a previous design? Is it non-obvious to people with industry knowledge?

    Of course, the answers are no. Therefore, you would be rejected for a patent.

    Ask yourself the same about the bank concept. Have you been to or heard of a bank that is designed as such? Do you think other people in the banking industry thought of this before? If you walked into this bank for the first time, would be apt to say "huh, this is an interesting idea"? Is this a non-trivial change from exisiting bank designs and layouts? Is this significantly different from how the banking industry has been operating for 300 years? Is this a different concept in the banking industry?

    What I can't take anymore is people blowing off steam and sounding all dramatic and revolutionary even without considering the merits of the case.

  53. Do they even read these things? by GoClick · · Score: 1

    My bank has been just like this for a long time

  54. Re:Tech news? by tomhudson · · Score: 1
    Poster wrote:
    Because theoretically they spent money/time/energy/[some consumable resource] developing it, and are due a reward.
    --- and from the sfgate article: ---
    In describing concierge stations, the patent says, "The concierge makes eye contact and greets each new customer. The inventors believe that such a personal greeting with each person entering the bank may deter theft."
    How is stealing the idea of a greeter from WalMart patentable? Oh, the bank is going to rename itself SCObank ...

    Bad USPTO! Bad boy!

  55. Prior Art ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The Wells Fargo across the street from UT Austin has been serving popcorn for as long as I can remember.

  56. Re:Tech news? by danheskett · · Score: 1

    The same thing in different industries or applications are often patentable, for very good reason.

    For example, what is a dishwaser? Its and automated thing that throws water and soap at dirty things and then blows heat on it and then it's done.

    Is that the same thing as an automated car wash that you can drive your car through? It throws water and soap and hot air at your car.

    Same thing. Different application.

  57. WHY ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Ok, now why the hell will I need to "hang out" in a bank ??

    At Borders or Barnes and Nobles, I have books to go browse while I drink coffee.

    Is Washington Mutual's service so damn slow and so damn bad that I need to put my kids in a playpen and sit around drinking coffee??

    I'm thinking yes.

    1. Re:WHY ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Ok, now why the hell will I need to "hang out" in a bank ??

      More comfortable for you and your posse while you wait to follow home people who've just withdrawn large sums?

    2. Re:WHY ? by kevcol · · Score: 1


      Is Washington Mutual's service so damn slow and so damn bad that I need to put my kids in a playpen and sit around drinking coffee??


      I've had accounts with them for 10 years. I actually found the service to be pretty good.

      That being said, this is one of the dumbest things I have heard of in regards to patents. Bad idea.

    3. Re:WHY ? by Octorian · · Score: 1

      I'll kick in a "me too" on that one as well. They're definitely one of the friendliest and most inviting bank environments I've been in lately. Combined with their free checking accounts, I've moved accounts from other "normal-style" banks there over the past year.

      And no, the service isn't slow. Quite quick, actually. At most banks, they have the classic "teller window" and maybe one or two slow tellers serving a whole like of people. At WaMu, they adjust the available tellers to meet demand, and the line is never very long.

      As far as play areas, that actually does make sense. You see, banks do have services that require waiting a bit, and then interacting with a desk-person for a while (opening accounts, setting up financial services, loan processing, etc.), and that idea lets them bring the kids along.

    4. Re:WHY ? by VultureMN · · Score: 1

      I'll chuck on another "Me Too" here. And I groove on the fact that they don't charge money for a non-WaMu customer using a WaMu ATM. That doesn't help ME any, but it buys them some goodwill from me anyway.

  58. Unbelievable by cubicledrone · · Score: 2, Funny

    There are greeters, tellers dressed in colorful shirts who escort customers to the kiosks, a separate cash machine, plush olive and maroon- colored chairs and sofas, and funky blueberry-colored lights hanging from the ceiling.

    NSF fees have increased to $500 coming and going, and customers will be required to provide five forms of picture ID to make a deposit. Interest on our SUPER-SOCCER-SUV-VALUE-PLUS-CD accounts is now a whopping ONE PERCENT (subject to Federal, State, Local and street-by-street taxes), and you get a free book of generic-bear-on-pastel checks!

    Free checking is now only $20 a week, but you get two free deposits!*

    *average balance of $15,000 required

    Don't forget to ask about our interest-only mortgage where we own your house until your payments quadruple! Don't forget to finance a RIDING LAWN MOWER, DUMBASS!!! MAYBE IT CAN TOW A CAMPER!!!!

    "Some people walk in, and they walk out. That's why we have a concierge there."

    NO!! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!!!

    Sounds like a great idea. Confuse the customers, then PATENT IT.

    The strategy behind the Occasio decor is not only to make banking fun, but also to make it more efficient.

    Yeah? How about hiring more than three tellers so we don't have to order out for lunch AND dinner waiting to cash a check?

    --
    Business isn't willing to pay for products, innovation and careers, so we get brands, mortgage commercials and layoffs.
    1. Re:Unbelievable by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Keep better control of your money so that you don't get charged NSF fees. Don't spend money you don't have. Your chequing account is not a credit card, idiot.

  59. WHY ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    At Borders or Barnes & Nobles, I have books to go browse while I drink coffee.

    Is Washington Mutual's service so damn slow and so damn bad that I need to put my kids in a playpen and sit around drinking coffee??

    I'm thinking yes.

  60. Latin meaning of "occasio" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

    The Latin word "occasio" also means 'pretext.'

  61. The good of humanity.. by hung_himself · · Score: 2, Interesting

    What you say is true, if properly applied, for widgets or perhaps even drug trials where the profits are realisable in a business time frame.

    It is not true for ideas and inventions where the profits may or may not exist and are way off in the future - i.e. those based upon scientific research or artistic endeavors. That is why we have a different model to drive basic research. Believe me, if politicians didn't believe that funding NIH was the only way to cure cancer and prolong their own lives they would not funnel billions into something that gives no campaign contributions.

    The problems arise when the two models collide, as they do when we talk about intellectual property. Unfortunately what is good for encouraging better widgets can stifle creativity in science and art and that is not good for profits or humanity...

  62. Re:Tech news? by tomhudson · · Score: 1
    You can't patent a concept - only its implementation. I don't think I can wash a car in a dishwasher. Different implementations.

    However, if I took a washing machine and, without any mechanical changes whatsoever, tried to patent it as a money-laundering machine, I would not have a valid patent :-)

  63. What about MacDonalds then? by batkid · · Score: 3, Insightful

    If a bank branch can be patented, maybe MacDonald's can patent fast food chain stores. If you ask me, this whole patent thing is really stupid.

  64. Re:They admit they ripped off the concept by tomhudson · · Score: 2, Insightful
    you just made some lawyers happy

    Oops. Time to go slice my wrists :-(

  65. Great news for Martha Stewart by bgeer · · Score: 1

    With all her newfound experience with the legal system, when she gets out of the joint she'll be in a perfect position to patent everything she did in her magazine. If you can make $500 million patenting browser plug-ins just think how much you could make patenting do-it-yourself window treatments and floral arrangements.

  66. Not so bad, maybe? by whataboutMike · · Score: 1

    I under stand that the USPTO is getting a little out of hand, but this pattent seems specific enough as to not be much of a threat to other businesses. I mean, just lay your teller kiosks out in a diamond pattern and you have a differnt design. This being said, I still don't think that the design concept of a building should be copyrighted.

  67. Re:Tech news? by TheScottishGuy · · Score: 1

    --- and from the sfgate article: --- In describing concierge stations, the patent says, "The concierge makes eye contact and greets each new customer. The inventors believe that such a personal greeting with each person entering the bank may deter theft." oh yeah, well it would go like this: potential robber thinks - "i'm going to rob this bank" potential robber walks in and is greeted with eye to eye contact and a personal greeting potential robber thinks - "awww shucks, they're nice, i can't rob this bank" it just sounds ludicrous i can see the principle in action for walmart, the gap etc.... places that use this to good proven effect, but for a bank?

  68. Re:Tech news? by Macadamizer · · Score: 1

    "You can't patent a concept - only its implementation. I don't think I can wash a car in a dishwasher. Different implementations.
    However, if I took a washing machine and, without any mechanical changes whatsoever, tried to patent it as a money-laundering machine, I would not have a valid patent :-)"

    That's not necessarily true. You CAN patent the new implemenation, if it is not anticipated or described in the original patent.

    However, the original patent holder could very likely prevent you from practicing your new patent, so it may not do you any good...

    --

    "That's not even wrong..." -- Wolfgang Pauli
  69. Prior Art by jafiwam · · Score: 4, Interesting

    It just so happens that one of my web hosting customers has a very similar layout, and has had it since before August, 2000 when they registered their domain name through me.

    They are a bank, and use electronic tellers (basically an electronic drive thru kiosk) for their tellers, cookies, coffee, lounge areas and toys.

    The financial advisors are still at normal desks.

    Having the money behind a pheumatic tube does not hurt the throughput any, and is a HUGE cost savings on insurance because there is NO MONEY a wood-be robber can grab. It's all in a locked room. Unless they have trained attack ferrets to go through the tubes... a guy with a gun is only going to get what's in the people's wallets.

    The company that was pushing the kiosks came up with the ideas for the layout.

    This bank is definately not the first one doing it, nor were they the first customers of the kiosk company.

    So there is definately prior art...

    Aside from that, the patent is stupid. Someone might make a case for an overall decor style (similar to the Aqua Mac thing, or the iMac format) but the physical placement of furniture and features of the lobby is not something that is inovative and it wasn't new when the patent was filed.

  70. Re:Tech news? by tomhudson · · Score: 1

    ... they don't want you stealing the pens.

  71. Who cares about this patent anyway? by Macadamizer · · Score: 2, Interesting

    If you read the actual patent, the claims -- especially the one independent claim -- are so poorly written that you would probably need to sit down with a lawyer to figure out how to infringe this patent. The scope of the independent claim is so narrow, it would be hard NOT to design around it, if you wanted to open your own Wa-My like surroundings in your own home.

    The only purpose of this patent, as far as I can see, is to show off to the investment community that "hey, we're developing IP assets, our stock should be worth more." This patent is so narrow as to be almost uninfringeable, and was probably written that way specifically because there is so much prior art out there.

    While the "one-click" patent, and a lot of biotech patents, may very well be a sign that the USPTO is going crazy, this patent certainly isn't. It's worthless, so why not grant it -- the fees they pay can be used to examine some really good patents...

    --

    "That's not even wrong..." -- Wolfgang Pauli
    1. Re:Who cares about this patent anyway? by Macadamizer · · Score: 1

      And one more thing -- everybody says "20 years" but that's not quite correct. A patent is only valid for 20 years for its "earliest effective filing date." Here, this patent was filed in 2001, but it claims priority from an application that way filed October 5, 2000 -- so the 20 year date started then, and the patent will expire October 4, 2020, not sometime in 2024.

      Hopefully that info will make the wait less excrutiating!

      --

      "That's not even wrong..." -- Wolfgang Pauli
  72. Re:Tech news? by tomhudson · · Score: 1
    ... there is no new engineering in my example of using a washing machine to wash coins. So, no new implementation (the "implementation" is the actual object to which a patent is granted, not how it is used by end-users. They're free to do with it as they will).

    So, if I took a car wash, and used it to wash, say, trailers, without any mechanical differences in the device that was patented, I haven't created a new implementation. I've used the existing implementation of the patented device for a new purpose.

    The problem is one of language. The patent office uses the concept of "implementation" differently from its everyday use. Mind you, nowadays they're using the concept of a "patentable device" strangely too.

    This patent was granted as "a financial transaction processing system". I guess I should similarly patent Saturday Night Specials and muggings as "financial transaction processing systems" and get some of the guys from the wrong side of town to help enforce my patent.

  73. Real Player? by HarbV7.0 · · Score: 1

    Ok, the fact that thier video requires Real Player to view speaks volumes to my geekness. Anyone worth their salt wouldn't instal that piece of spyware to save their favourite auntie! Sorry but that doesn't instal a lot of faith in me. At least use quick time as ir's "Apple" (I am a Mac user BTW) and very trendy at present. At the very least that goes along with the Starbucks look they managed to patent for banking. I think I'll stick with my credit union thank you very much. I really can't remember the last time I had to go into a bank anyway.

  74. And good luck trying to rob one of these branches! by the-other-bill · · Score: 5, Interesting

    As one of the droids that installs the servers (OS/2, yay!) and teller tower workstations (XP, locked down within an inch of its life) just let me opine that the primary advantage of the new WaMu Occasio branch design is that the money is just about nowhere to be found. You hand over your cash to the teller and it disappears into a slot just like a Reno blackjack dealer. You won't be changing your mind after that. To get your withdrawl money after your transaction with the teller, you amble over to a large vault on the floor, swipe your card, enter your pin and then the cash spits out into your hands. The tellers never have any money!

    We had some clown try to stick up one of the branches here in Seattle and after he finally figured out that there just wasn't any money around to take, all he ever got was some heavy attention from the local constabulary who nabbed him down the road after he tried to hit up some other bank.

    I'm guessing that the "unrobbability" is the pantentable part of all this, but I could be wrong. What do I know -- I don't explain'em, I just install'em. And from a geeks point of view, they are clean designs. And having a safe place to stash the rugrat for ten minutes ain't bad either, lemme tellya!

  75. They're not even a mutual by Animats · · Score: 2, Informative
    Washington "Mutual" isn't a mutual. It's a stock company listed on the NYSE. They haven't been depositor-owned since 1983. They just call themselves a mutual because it sounds good.

    There used to be a tax break for being a real mutual loan association, but that disappeared under Reagan, and most of the mutuals "privatized", screwing the depositors out of their equity ownership.

  76. my advice? by geekoid · · Score: 1

    beat the rush.
    Gues what mcDonalds will want to do, the patent the design.

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
  77. Stupid by Roger+Keith+Barrett · · Score: 1

    Here is a patent for you...

    Patent Kiosks that allow the patrons to interact (via webcam) with an OUTSOURCED bank teller that is actually located somewhere in Bangalore.

    That way even more jobs that require local interaction can be outsourced. And it's good for the economy.

    Obviously... the "2. ???" should be replaced thusly...
    1. (whatever)
    2. Win stupid, confusing patent
    3. PROFIT!!!

    --

    Why don't you embrace your slashbotness instead of living in a dreamworld?
  78. Re:Tech news? by Macadamizer · · Score: 1

    It's more than just protecting the inventor from others. The main purpose of the patent is to give inventors the incentive to invent AND share their inventions so that others can build upon them -- it's the making of things public so that others don't have to constantly "reinvent the wheel" that promotes "science and the useful arts."

    You can always invent something and keep it secret -- no patent required, and it'll remain "yours" until someone steals your secrets. A patent makes a deal with the inventor -- you get to decide who gets to practice your invention for 20 years (actually, 20 years from the date the patent was filed, not issued, subject to even more restrictions that can effectively shorten the period), but you have to tell the public enough about your invention so that they could make it themselves, and then improve upon it. That's the bargain the Government is making -- you let the public know, and we've got your back. For a while, at least.

    For an example, look at Coke. Coke's got this secret recipe that they've had for, what, 100 years or so? Nobody else can make Coke because they don't know how -- which means Coke has a monopoly, and, in principle at least, the price for a can of Coke is higher than it would be if there was competition (I know Pepsi is competition, but bear with me here). Had Coke patented their secret formula, they would have had it exclusively for 20 years (actually 17 years from issue date, back in those days), but then the public would have known the secret recipe, and once the patent expired, their would be competition and maybe even someone would have developed an "advanced" Coke based on the formula.

    But, Coke forgo the patent, and kept it secret. So, that means no competition, and nobody has been able to use the secret recipe to develop an advanced Coke. On the other hand, trade secrets can only be protected if they are, in fact, secret. If the secret recipe somehow gets out, Coke would not be able to keep others from making it.

    So, while protecting the "sweat of the brow" of the inventor is certainly a positive aspect of patents, the trade of government protection for public disclosure is how patent "advance the useful arts."

    --

    "That's not even wrong..." -- Wolfgang Pauli
  79. Re:Tech news? by Macadamizer · · Score: 1

    "So, if I took a car wash, and used it to wash, say, trailers, without any mechanical differences in the device that was patented, I haven't created a new implementation. I've used the existing implementation of the patented device for a new purpose."

    But that's because the implementation for washing trailers would ikely to be found to be an obvious "improvement," not because different implementations can't be patented.

    If you had, say, a patent for a plastic box, if I found that your plastic box could be used to, say, catalyze a chemical reaction, I could patent the method of using a plastic box for catalyzing a reaction. If my patent were otherwise "patentable subject matter" and not anticipated by your patent, the fact that I am using your patented box without any modifications doesn't mean that I am unable to obtain a patent.

    It does mean that I could possibly get sued for infringement by you if I actually tried to use your box to catalyze a reaction, but it would prevent me from getting a patent.

    I think the disconnect comes in the previous example because a washing machine to car wash may not be far-fetched enough to avoid "anticipation."

    --

    "That's not even wrong..." -- Wolfgang Pauli
  80. USPTO fees by Jayfar · · Score: 1
    I mean, c'mon, the USPTO makes the majority of its money these days on providing and renewing patents. It makes nothing on investigating or refusing them.

    Actually it brings in money in every minute sub-step of the process. You'll have difficulty finding the specifics on the USPTO site (sorry, I didn't bookmark when I was perusing it a while back), but getting a patent or a trademark isn't just a matter of filling out one form and paying one fee - there are literally hundreds of different forms involved and a separate filing or processing fee for each.

  81. Re:Tech news? by tomhudson · · Score: 1
    Using my plastic box to catalyse a reaction, because it is not an obvious or otherwise anticipated use, could be a non-infringing patentable process. I wouldn't be able to stop you even if I tried, because, as long as you're purchasing my boxes, you haven't infringed by making them yourself. Now, if you decided to make those same boxes yourself, you'd get nailed.

    The bank, on the other hand, was granted a patent for a "system to handle financial transactions". They included in the application the concept of having a greeter "to help discourage theft". I guess too many people were stealng those cheap pens, even though they're chained down.

    They admit they stole most of the ideas for the layout elsewhere (other retail establishments). They even name some of them. And they're quoted as admitting they're in the same business in the article - serving retail customers. No inovaton there.

    Even the patent attorney quoted in the article takes it (the patent) as a joke. It's just not a very funny one, which just goes to show lawyers have no sense of humour.

    It's like this joke:

    Q. What do lawyers use for birth control?
    A. Their personality.
  82. Returns on Investment by DannyO152 · · Score: 1

    Washington Mutual did not develop this in order to sell it to others, like an invented consumer device, or a manufacturing plan or process, but to differentiate themselves from other banks. The patent will be used against any other bank (and who know what else) that comes up with a more family friendly / self-serve design, either to get windfall funds or to shut down the competition.

    The whole point of rethinking the ambiance surrounding the selling of hamburgers and fries, deposits and withdrawals, sneakers and athletic wear, car washes, or the environment of any interior where someone goes to purchase services or goods, is that the return on investment is an increase in traffic, customers and sales.

    On the selfish -- how dare I not get on board the whole government-abetted maximal economic exploitation for every idea juggernaut -- side, I work for interior designers. God help the industry if furniture manufacturers patent some conceputalizaton of the hospital waiting area (so only one person can sell a certain arrangement of ganged chairs and side tables.) In any regards I do not relish that we may need patent attorneys to sign off on our drawings.

    On Monday I guess I need to memo my co-workers and urge them to welcome our new patent-wielding interiors overlords.

  83. "the local constabulary" by kevcol · · Score: 1

    ..all he ever got was some heavy attention from the local constabulary..

    Say- when did they move Seattle to Blighty?!!

  84. Re:They admit they ripped off the concept by mr.scoot · · Score: 1

    At least you can bill 'em $400/hr for happiness production. Add an extra 1 hr for slitting your wrists.

  85. Re:Tech news? by Macadamizer · · Score: 2

    "Using my plastic box to catalyse a reaction, because it is not an obvious or otherwise anticipated use, could be a non-infringing patentable process. I wouldn't be able to stop you even if I tried, because, as long as you're purchasing my boxes, you haven't infringed by making them yourself. Now, if you decided to make those same boxes yourself, you'd get nailed."

    Good point about the first sale doctrine. But if we change the hypo just a bit -- say that you have the patent on the box, but refuse to make them yourself or license them, so it is a purely defensive patent -- then you would have a situation where I would get a patent that I couldn't pratice. I guess that's the point I was trying to get at.

    "Even the patent attorney quoted in the article takes it (the patent) as a joke."

    I noted i another post somewhere else on this topic that, in my opinion at least, the only reason for this patent at all is just to say "look mom, we're building our IP portfolio." I guess someone thought this was patentable subject matter, and not barred by prior art -- but if you look at the claim language, the patentability "window" must have been extremely narrow, as the claims are so narrow as to be virtually uninfringeable (is that a word).

    "It's just not a very funny one, which just goes to show lawyers have no sense of humour."

    Some lawyers have a sense of humor. It's just tough to be in a profession where a few hundred thousand bad apples ruin it for the rest of 'em.

    --

    "That's not even wrong..." -- Wolfgang Pauli
  86. Yankee Candle by KimJ721 · · Score: 2, Informative
    While I don't think Yankee Candle actually trademarked their store layout, I do know that they sued at least one smaller candle company for having a store layout that was too similar to their own.

    This occurred fairly close to Yankee Candle's headquarters, at a mall in Enfield, Connecticut (about an hour away). If I recall correctly, the smaller store changed its layout rather than fight it out in court, and I think it eventually went out of business, but I don't live there anymore so am not certain.

  87. Re:And good luck trying to rob one of these branch by Zak3056 · · Score: 1

    I'm guessing that the "unrobbability" is the pantentable part of all this, but I could be wrong

    As you noted earlier, the Vegas style cash cage is prior art on that score...

    --
    What part of "shall not be infringed" is so hard to understand?
  88. Re:Tech news? by tomhudson · · Score: 1
    Macadamizer wrote:
    ... the claims are so narrow as to be virtually uninfringeable (is that a word).
    It is now! Quick, go patent the process of adding new words to the language :-)

    This is slashdot, where grammar rules don't (rule, that is), and ain't is too (a word).

  89. Re:They admit they ripped off the concept by tomhudson · · Score: 1
    mr.scoot wrote:
    At least you can bill 'em $400/hr for happiness production. Add an extra 1 hr for slitting your wrists.
    Changed my mind. I still have one mod point left, and TONS of karma to burn through :-)

    Seriously, when even patent attorneys go on record (as they did in the article) as seeing this as nothing more than a joke, it says a LOT about how useless the USPTO has become.

    There are laws against frivolous lawsuits. What's needed now are laws against frivolous patents.

  90. Who's this idiot who did this? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What's the examiners name? What government doofus buffoon approved this? Who's the drool with the rubber stamp? He deserves a righteous email slashdotting for being RETARDED. He needs to be fired, like yesterday. This ranks right up there with patenting the swing.

    Hey you patent office dudes! I KNOW at least some of you read here. WTF IS UP WITH THIS? HAVE YOU NO SHAME?

    Someone needs to be investigated for bribery, or being an idiot on duty, one or the other. No excuse for this crap. It's outta control. This is economic terrorism. It's INSANE. The US people pay good money for government, and we can't even get GRADE D government.

    Every day, we either see blatant government lies or illegalities, more restrictive laws, or insane bureaucratic blunders. In which century is the good stuff supposed to start? When do the training wheels come off?

  91. "What's Happening!!" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
  92. Re:Let me be the first to say by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Is this a non-trivial change from exisiting bank designs and layouts?

    No. It consists of moving the ATMs indoors and renaming them "kiosks". Coffee and refreshments have been around for ages - the Citibank branch I visit most often has cookies next to their coffee machine. Places for the kids to play aren't unusual either, although they rarely amount to much more than a bead run for the tiny ones and a couple of books for the older children.

    Moreover, the point of this patent, like most of the other ones we howl about, is clearly not To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts but only by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries.
    There's clearly no science involved and it stretches the definition of "useful arts" beyond all reason to include furniture layout and toys
    for the kiddies.

    Is this a different concept in the banking industry?
    No. It's a combination of features found in many existing banks and other retail stores expanded on and described in alternative terms.

  93. Toys by rfernand79 · · Score: 1

    Washington Mutual even has toys (Ken and Barnie style dolls) with action gear... I think they call them "action tellers".

  94. "Business Process" patents a horrible trend by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Ever since congress and the courts allowed the patenting of "business processes", things have been getting nuttier and nuttier. Business will be nothing but battling lawyers.

  95. Washington Mutual is the suxx0rz... by rice_burners_suck · · Score: 2, Informative
    ....And not because of the patent, per se.

    ...one that has play areas for kids, serves coffee and popcorn, and has kiosks instead of teller windows...

    A friend of mine used to bank at Washington Mutual for a long time. One day, he strolled into the bank and saw, to his horror, that instead of a traditional bank with teller windows and whatnot, there were these retarded kiosks scattered all over the place and rotated every which way.

    The outcome of this "innovative" business practice? He immediately closed his accounts and took his money to Wells Fargo, where a bank still looks like a bank.

    I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of other people had similar responses to this change. This is mostly for psychological reasons: When you go to Disney Land, you want the experience to be exciting. On the other hand, when you go to the bank, where you store your financial assets that you work hard to earn, you want the place to be as unexciting as it can be. Excitement means the bank is unstable and is going to lose your money, leaving you in the streets. Lack of excitement shows stability, maturity, confidence, and security. I believe this is what most people want when they choose a bank. Not a bunch of weird kiosks turned every which way.

    A play area for children isn't a bad idea, because kids always get restless and start running around, causing all kinds of noise and whatnot.

    Oh yeah, and one more rant on Washington Mutual. My mother had a bank account there. One day, she deposited a bunch of checks. The bank took the money, but did not increase her accounts. No matter how much proof she produced, they refused to credit her account, claiming that what she produced was not good enough proof. In effect, the bank had stolen her money: About 300 dollars of it. She closed her accounts there and went to a different bank. Ever since that event, and more so after my friend told me about the kiosks, I have been staying as far away from Washington Mutual as I can.

  96. Patent Tax Strategy by Camel+Pilot · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Just yesterday there was a WSJ (printed version) article describing a trend where high-end tax dodge specialist are patenting particular and specific tax strategies taylored for wealthy clients!

    What is good about this is that we are now entering into the ludacris stage of the current fashion of patenting everything that walks - which means reform will be close at hand - or at least I hope.

    My wife's ecommerce store has a shopping cart that gives 5% discount if the customer just happens to be using a Mozilla browser. Maybe she should apply for a patent will she still can...

  97. Re:I just don't want hear about patent crap anymor by cowscows · · Score: 1

    Yes, we do need to hear it, if for no other reason as to have more information to spread to others. There's not going to be any change in the system until enough people get upset about it. The rich and powerful people who could change it easily are too busy profiting off of it, and the common masses are underinformed and too busy worrying about more immediate issues.

    Our culture in general is not forwards thinking enough to fix any problems before they become a disaster. As unintuitive as it sounds, often the easiest way to right a wrong is to bring on the crisis as soon as possible.

    --

    One time I threw a brick at a duck.

  98. Copyrights slow progress by demsthenes · · Score: 1

    Many people have argued that patents and copyrights have actually hindered the advancement of technology, social issues, and culture over this past decade since the increase of punishment for violating these rights. A common example is Mickey Mouse; Disney has had him copyrighted and patented up the wazoo, and many artist complain that Disney sues over anything even resembling a mouse. Now if Washington Mutual patents a bank design this could slow the advancement of bank design forever!

  99. Designed to destroy the USPTO? by earlgreen · · Score: 1

    Reading this patent, I can't help but wonder if this isn't part of a larger attempt to get the USPTO to patent such absurdity that it ends be being destroyed in the courts and/or by congress pushing through some kind of "reform". Now we see that they aren't just allowing through idiotic software patents, but are willing to diversify into other domains.

  100. Patenting a physical layout by Artifakt · · Score: 1

    I'm starting to think there's reasons this should be allowed (although I'm far from convinced it meets the inobviousless test).

    First, the patent in this case is very narrowly defined and specific. It's not going to be much if any use in sueing a competitor except where the competitor deliberately copies a lot of details exactly rather than just borrowing broad ideas, so presumably the bank wanted it for another reason, like it gets added to their IP portfolio and that's reflected in their stock price. That's not good, but it is essentially harmless except just possibly if it misleads ignorant investors.

    Second, the design is supposed to improve function in concrete, measurable ways. This principle at least is in keeping with patent law, in that patents are generally about quantifiables.
    If you read some of the instructions for running an IHOP franchise, there are all these incredibly minute details, such as painting a particular mark on the floor and training your watresses to stand exactly on that mark when they call out an order to the cook. Supposedly, the cook has a better chance of hearing the order if it comes from exactly the same place every time, and so fewer ordwers get garbled, etc. Normally, manuals like this are protected by copyright. A copyright doesn't stop another company from rewriting part or all of that manual and using it as part of their business model or selling it to franchisees - only a particular expression of ideas is covered by copyright, not the ideas themselves. Copyrighting a process manual doesn't give that much real protection, as it is just the sort of thing that can be expressed in substantially different terms while still remaining essentially the same in application or construction. So I can see why a company would want to use a method that would give some protection against an exact swipe.

    --
    Who is John Cabal?
  101. NCR Corp had "Virtual Branch" in 98 by kbahey · · Score: 1

    Around 1998 or so (I could be wrong on the exact year), NCR Corp had a very similar concept called The Virtual Branch.

    Granted, it did not have pop corn and kid play zone, but it was too close to what this article is saying.

    The idea is to have a branch without real people serving customer in it. It would all be ATMs, Kiosks and Video links to a call center.

    Of course NCR being an ATM and Kiosk company with strong presence in the financial industry, it made sense to propose such a setup, since it meant more sales of the products they make.

  102. Wow. I'm honored. by msobkow · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I know I must be hitting a few nerves when someone has to resort to implying I'm crazy rather than defend a situation. Oddly enough, my post history would seem to be that of a rational person.

    I supppose I could have recently gone insane and not noticed.

    I think it's more likely you're just willfully blind to the fact that America stopped being a real democracy quite some time ago. The vote is a sham to keep select people in a visible position of power, while the corp financing pretty much dictates what actually happens.

    Got a stubborn senator or congressman? Just threaten to shut down that particular plant or office in their voting district, and you have approval. Presuming, of course, they didn't respond to offers of campaign contributions if they'd support a particular pet bill.

    Or are you actually naive enough to think politicians are honest, or that they care about anything beyond the next election and their personal payback after they "retire" from office?

    If they can help the people without risking a vote or financing, sure, it's good publicity. But when it comes down to their career or what's good for the citizens and the country, you don't matter. You are only one vote, and it's all about keeping the majority, not your particular vote.

    --
    I do not fail; I succeed at finding out what does not work.
  103. Boycott by epcraig · · Score: 1

    If we can boycott Amazon for One Click, we can boycott WAMU, too.

    --
    Ed Craig "Who cares what you think?" George W. Bush, 4th of July 2001
  104. How vague can this be? by Grell · · Score: 1

    "In another embodiment, the teller towers are arranged in a circle, semicircle, elongated circle, or oval."

    What's next, patenting the concept of overhead cover?

    "In another embodiment the roof will be formed of woven vegetable matter, or dried grass and mud."

    If the process gets any looder why not just patent
    the action of firing a neuron and cover all possible premuations of thought, then close the USPTO.

    ~G

    --
    ...when it gets down to fundamentals, do what you have to do and shed no tears. Dr. Matson in Tunnel in the Sky
  105. whoa .. time to start patenting stuff by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I like to cook. The other day I came up with a really good hot sandwich. It involves capers and yogurt, but I best not get into any details.

    I thought, why don't I *patent* this particular arrangement of deliciousness? I joked with a friend and forgot about it.

    I should patent my sandwich!!! Wouldn't it be awesome to send a cease and desist to a restaurant????

    No, actually it would suck to come along and do something like that to somebody. Maybe Jeff Bezos can live with himself doing that kind of shit but I believe in free markets.

    In the old days, people invented something, patented it, and sued the copycats.

    Now, people invent something, and the copycats patent it and sue THEM!

  106. Re:Tech news? by spectral · · Score: 1

    I can have the good of humanity at heart and dump a million dollars in to research and testing and eventually bring the cure to cancer to market. Like other people said, there's two parts of patents: I can now keep this secret, and hope no one else figures out how I did this. In all likelihood, HOW I did it will have to be documented anyway (it has a health risk). I might, however, be able to patent it, and then license it out. This way, I make money, and hopefully recoup my losses.

    People can break even on inventions and then donate the rest of the money. Or, they can keep some for themselves. Does it matter if people have the good of humanity at heart? no. Humanity will benefit by this invention, if patented, within 20 years. The ability to patent it made it feasible for someone to do this. They thought they'd make the money back, so they did it, patented it, put it on market for the 20 years, and then everyone else makes a generic ripoff. If they didn't patent it, they'd think to themselves "Well, we can do this, but we'll spend 10 million dollars on it. When we're done, anyone can recreate our work for about an hour spent in a lab reverse engineering it, for total cost of 1,000 dollars. We won't ever be able to sell for less than them, and make all our money back, so why bother?"

    Corporations exist to make money. Patents help them do so. They also help everyone else, because after that 20 years, everyone has a chance at it.

    Note, there's also restrictions like the generic drug laws (so my cure for cancer is a bit out there anyway), and if something like this could save lives, I'm not sure they'd let one company go out of control with it. Resonable cost, maybe, but they'd be regulated up the wazoo anyway.

    So, let's go with a non-medical example: the automobile. GM makes a brand new car fuel system that takes in regular air, spits out regular air, but somehow generates power in doing so. Everyone would benefit from this immensely, but the process for doing it is extremely complicated, and they spent a billion dollars on inventing it. They now have the following options:
    a) Keep it secret and hope that no one else figures out how to do it. Two outcomes: No one else figures out how to do it (good for GM), or Honda buys a car, gets their smartest people on it, and within 1 year has it reverse engineered, for only $1 mil cost (bad for GM)
    b) Keep it secret, and not bring it to market. Well, congrats, that money's wasted.
    c) Patent it. No one else can make one for 20 years, so they have time to make their money back. after 20 years, everyone can make this car that doesn't need fuel. Everyone benefits. Some later than others, though.

    Patents really do help -- IF APPLIED PROPERLY.

    I don't think this one is proper, but .. oh well. It's rather obvious to me that putting someone on the door of a place will deter theft, that providing a play area for kids makes it easier for parents to come in, and that providing a locked money box, a computer, and a teller makes it easier to do your banking. This patent is stupid, in my opinion, but not all patents are.

    Patents, by themselves, are a good concept. Just often abused.

  107. WaMu are a bunch of hosers... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Mark me flamebait if you want, but having been a WaMu customer for the past four years, it is a good thing they are patenting a carnival, because they sure as hell can't run a bank. Their indicision regarding java vs. .net plus hiring vs. outsourcing make them a very unattactive potential employer for us geeks. Then, there is the whole customer service thing. After the crap they pulled with *my money* in my checking account, and the way they mishandled me as a potential customer through 2 mortgages, I am in the process of switching all my banking to Wells Fargo - couldn't be happier with them. They may not have a carnival going on in their branches, but at least I get my banking done.

  108. Patently by davidsyes · · Score: 1

    whorish?

    Is this, then, what the USPTO is willing to present itself as? When a corporation (or an individual with lots of money) can simply patent something this ludicrous (as it seems)--a floorplan incorporating many time-tested, market-driven arrangements, something is patently stupid going on in DC.

    I guess (ignoring that the USPTO usually rejects patents on lewd, sexual, or indecent devices, or until a few years ago did so) someone will step up and patent "Marathon 69", coupled with:

    --sound effects,
    --a physical apparatus to alleviate lockjaw,
    --a bathing-assistant which keeps the bed or floor as dry as possible
    --a defecant remover, disinfector and decomposer/composter/reconstitutor with rapid nutrient turnaround,

    ---(put something here)

    Please add to the list...

    David Syes

    --
    Previously: "Linux... Toward the Sunrise..." Now: "Linux... Toward the-- No, now, part of Every Sunrise"
  109. And in other news... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The USPTO has granted my patent of having a coffee table directly in front of a three person couche which is directly in front of a large screen TV set.

  110. PRIOR ART! by blair1q · · Score: 0, Offtopic


    I call prior art!

    I have first-hand knowledge that the US Army invented the clusterfuck.

  111. ..excuse me... but this is stupid by Simonetta · · Score: 3, Funny
    Getting a patent on the idea of providing a little play area for children while the parents are occupied with a transaction? My feminist friends have been suggesting this very thing for over thirty years now.

    Getting a patent for the idea of serving popcorn?
    Are the movie theatres going to have to make payments to these people?

    C'mon...a patent is supposed to be for inventing something serious and useful. This is not patent material by any stretch.

    But since we're in the mood, let me be the first girl to patent the blow job. Yes, I invented it and it is now my intellectual property! So pay up. Credit card payments are billed to:

    Christian Missionary Support Services, Inc.

    This is no more absurd than putting a play pen in the corner of the store. Now, putting a play pen for senior executives who came up with this idea (or the Patent Office bozos who approved it), that would be a patentable idea.

    1. Re:..excuse me... but this is stupid by dipipanone · · Score: 4, Funny

      But since we're in the mood, let me be the first girl to patent the blow job. Yes, I invented it and it is now my intellectual property!

      Not so fast, not so fast.

      As your local USPTO inspector, before I can grant you your patent, I really think you'd better be giving me a demonstration of this so called 'new invention' that you've come up with.

      I need to be able to compare it with some of the sex acts that various other women are claiming as 'prior art'.

      Present yourself at my office, first thing on Monday morning -- and bring a sturdy pair of kneepads.

    2. Re:..excuse me... but this is stupid by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sounds like the Volvo dealership near my house...

    3. Re:..excuse me... but this is stupid by Willis+Wasabi · · Score: 1

      I think I can speak for all married men. Don't expect much in royalties from our wives...

      --
      All true wisdom can be found in sigs.
  112. Re:They admit they ripped off the concept by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Yeah, 'cause there isn't anything that fixes crappy laws like... more... laws... er..

  113. Re:I just don't want hear about patent crap anymor by bot24 · · Score: 1

    I hearby patent the patenting of simple things that shouldn't be patentable within a reasonable system of patenting. I will now sue Apple, Microsoft, and Washington Mutual for patenting such things. Next, I will get a job in the US Patent Office and then patent the process of giving patents to patentors of patenting patents that shouldn't be patentable with a decent system of patenting. I will then quit my job and sue the patent office for allowing those patents to get through.

  114. Re:I just don't want hear about patent crap anymor by Vellmont · · Score: 1

    You already have enough ammunition of stupid patents to use to spread to others. More and more being added to your arsenal accomplishes nothing.

    --
    AccountKiller
  115. Well, I bet their customer service remains crappy. by Kymermosst · · Score: 1

    My wife had a Washington Mutual account. We closed it because their customer service was crap and there were service charges for everything that the credit union does for free.

    I bet you have to swipe your ATM card and suffer a service charge when you put your kids in the play area, etc.

    --
    "Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives" should be a convenience store, not a government agency.
  116. Thanks USPTO! by nytes · · Score: 1

    We have one of these Washington Mutal branches near us.

    Thanks to the USPTO, other bank's customers will be spared this abomination, at least for a couple of decades. This is the dumbest idea for a bank layout I can imagine, except, possibly for card tables on the sidewalk.

    --
    -- I have monkeys in my pants.
  117. Re:Wow. I'm honored. by daraf · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I know I must be hitting a few nerves when someone has to resort to implying I'm crazy rather than defend a situation.

    Prone to illusion of persecution, specifically.

    I think it's more likely you're just willfully blind to the fact that America stopped being a real democracy quite some time ago

    America never was a 'real democracy', it founded as a 'republic' or 'representative democracy'. In contrast with (what I take you to mean by) a 'real democracy', we choose representatives to act in 'our' interests. However the constituency (county, congressional district, state, etc.) being represented usually have a variety of conflicting interests. When a rep steps up to the plate on any given issue, it's going to make some people all warm and fuzzy inside and it's going to piss some people off.

    Now if you're a rep trying to decide what slant to take on an issue, are you more likely to listen to some ranting dork in bubble wrap, or someone who's willing to form a Political Action Committee and put their money where their mouth is?

    You are only one vote, and it's all about keeping the majority, not your particular vote.

    Yeah, that's pretty much the notion of democracy. The majority wins, with certain checks to built into the system to protect the minority, such as the bicameral legislature and Electoral College. Whether those checks are insufficient or give too much power to a minority of people is another debate altogether.

    The vote is a sham to keep select people in a visible position of power, while the corp financing pretty much dictates what actually happens.

    Corporate interests do indeed have a lot of influence and, amazingly enough, they represent a lot of people! However, there are a lot of groups that similarly have a lot of power without being aligned with corporate America or having an enormous warchest of money (the ACLU is one example, although I believe they are more focused on working with the judicial than legislative branches of government).

    Bottom line, just because the majority is against you doesn't necessarily mean that they are controlled by some dark master. It could mean, however, they are actually committed to their views and are willing to spend resources to gain support for them, rather than just bitching on a chat board.

  118. Re:Tech news? by Hognoxious · · Score: 1
    why the fuck should anyone have a 20-year government-enforced artificial monopoly on the production of anything?
    To encourage invention & innovation, which ultimately benefit society as a whole? I've studied some history, and there's evidence that, at one time, that's what patents were used for.
    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  119. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    I can have the good of humanity at heart and dump a million dollars in to research and testing and eventually bring the cure to cancer to market.
    Only if you happen to have a million dollars in the place - something that the anaonymous idiot you're replying to doesn't seem to understand understand.
  120. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    How is stealing the idea of a greeter from WalMart patentable?
    It isn't, but then neither the excerpt you quoted, nor the entirety of spectral's post imply that it is.

    Do try to respond to what's actually written.

  121. Re:Tech news? by Hognoxious · · Score: 1
    There are many other ways for inventors to get a reasonable return on investment other than a 20-year monopoly grant that stops anyone else building on their innovation.
    What, by partially waiving their right to enforce a patent in return for a fee? Sounds like a good idea. I think I'll patent that.
    Here's one example: how about just giving decent tax breaks for inventors? Of course, businesses _already_ get huge tax breaks just by sorta existing, as far as I can tell and also only pay the bulk of tax on revenue rather than income
    For a corporation, revenue is pretty much the same as income, but corporations are generally taxed on profits.

    Back to the subject. Hmmm, yes - how do you generate income/revenue from an invention then?

    1. You make the thing and sell it. Slight problem there though - a competitor can also make it, and as he hasn't undergone the expenditure you did to develop it, he can undercut you.
    2. My crazy waiver idea above - I think I'll call it licensing - takes off; someone else makes it and they pay the inventor a fee or a percentage. But then why would someone pay when they could just rip it off for free?

    I'd be interested to see a worked example of how, with an income of zero (as it would be under your 'system'), a "tax break", would be worth anything other than zero.

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  122. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    "someone would have developed an "advanced" Coke based on the formula."

    Someone (Coke) did - it was called New Coke, and it sucked big time.

  123. Every day... by payndz · · Score: 1
    ...I ask myself the question, "Can the world get any more stupid, corrupt and fucked-up?"

    And every day, I find the answer is "Yes!" Thank you, Slashdot!

    --
    You must think in Russian.
  124. Re:Wow. I'm honored. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    Oddly enough, my post history would seem to be that of a rational person.
    To you, maybe. But you're fucking barmy.
  125. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    Of course, businesses _already_ get huge tax breaks just by sorta existing, as far as I can tell
    You are "Student Grant" out of Viz AICMFP. In short, you are a purple dreadlocked, rentacrowd, anarchosponger who has never done a day's work in this or any previous incarnation. Now would you mind awfully fucking right off?
  126. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    "You've set up a false dichotomy. "

    No he hasn't, he's one of the people that don't. You have, though.

  127. From the pay while you play department by Rob+Wilco · · Score: 1

    Didn't McGrease (I mean McDonalds) essentially do this already with their Playland design? Not sure if they have ordering kiosks though, so maybe it doesn't count.

    --
    - Rob Wilco
  128. well finally we can patent a room layout by javajoe99 · · Score: 1

    See enclosed Patent:

    A secure location to house computer equiptment consisting of multiple computers in lockable enclousures, optional raised flooring, independant climate control.
    Multiple levels of physical security and independnt electrical grid for emergencies. I dub this concept a "data center"

    Now send this to USPTO, then sue the USPTO for patent infringment long with the gov, that should get their attention.

    Sigs are for the weak

    1. Re:well finally we can patent a room layout by DarkKnightRadick · · Score: 1

      As nice as that would be, the Constitution (as it was originally written) gives the government a permanent license to use patented material as it sees fit only for governmental purposes (e.g. can't just give a sub-contractor the right to use said patented material for him/herself but said sub-contractor can build such patented material for use by the government) w/o having to pay royalties.

      --
      "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death." Proverbs 16:25 (NKJV)
  129. For Geeks you people need to read better: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Seriously - the patent isn't for the layout of the furniture - it's for the ATM inside the building being controlled by the teller behind the desk.

    What they are doing with the furniture description is establishing a structural relationship so clearly that there is no way someone could use a drivethrough ATM as prior art against it (though ATM's aren't normally controlled by tellers anyway - it is possible someone had the idea of a network of human tellers controlling a wide network of remote ATM's - thus making it more necissary to describe the banks layout, in order to distinguish it from just an ATM).

    Similarly, the invention is useful in way's ATM are not, as appplied to a physical branch location; by arranging to have money dispenced by the machine, drawers shouldn't come up short from counting errors, employee theft should be a little more difficult, and as one post already noted, it should be very difficult to rob using conventional means.

    As for being obvious? ATM's have been around for years. Human tellers - since the invention of banks. No one has combined the two at the same location because ATM's are seemingly expensive and redundant. Perhaps this bank has found a way to make the economics work - thus being novel.

    When you people rail against patents - please have the courtesy to read them carefully. Otherwise you're doing nothing but contributing to the ametuerization of the internet and by extension society.

    Don't do that.

  130. Re:And good luck trying to rob one of these branch by RogerWilco · · Score: 1

    The Rabobank in my parents home town in Zuidhorn (The Netherlands) has had a similar system for at least 15 years. There is this vacuum tube system that transports the money. One for incomming and one for outgoing trafic at every tellers desk. Only the money directly involved in a transaction either deposit or withdrawl is in the main area with the tellers desks.
    I believe it's more or less universal here. As a result bank robbery is virtually non existent here, but money transports occasionally get hit.
    This might give you an idea www.lendprojectmanagement.nl/ ref6.htm
    on how it looks.

    --
    RogerWilco the Adventurous Janitor
  131. *NOT* the first patent for design of retail store by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative

    There is so much misinformation about patents being circulated that I suppose it is not very surprising that a reporter quoting "experts" would wrongly assert that the Washington Mutual patent is the first patent for a design of a retail store/presence. However, this wrong assertion is inexcusable in this case, because a pointer to the contrary evidence appears on the front page of the patent itself. In other words, he didn't RTFP. (And I think the term RTFP should be cited often in discussions about patents here.)

    The "References" cited on this or any patent are NOT references SUPPORTING the patent (as would be the case for footnote or endnote references for a journal article). They are references cited by the Examiner either to TEAR DOWN the patent or LIMIT ITS COVERAGE. A "patent reference" is a reference that happens to be a patent. Therefore, if one were looking for a previously-issed patent for a retail store/presence, one might surmise that a good place to start might be the list of patent references on the front cover of the Washington Mutual patent.

    The very FIRST patent reference cited (at least in order by patent number), U.S. Patent No. 1,242,872, can be downloaded from either the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (http://www.uspto.gov) or from the European Patent Office (http://www.espacenet.com). However, this patent is so old that nobody would have thought to digitize the text when it was issued, so it is available only in image format. It takes special software (in Windows, at least) to view the pages from the USPTO, and not everyone in the States knows about the EPO (which needs only Adobe Acrobat Reader), so my guess is that the reporter never looked at this patent. If he had looked at it, he would have discovered that the USPTO issued a patent for a Self Serving Store to one "C. Saunders" on October 19, 1917 on an application filed on October 21, 1916.

    In other words, a patent on a retail/store presence was both filed and issued in the United States during World War I and the presidency of Woodrow Wilson. And that fact would have been apparent had the reporter just bothered to check the patent references cited against the Washington Mutual patent.

    Quoting Claim 4 of the 1917-issued patent:

    4. A store for the vending of merchandise having a partition dividing the room into an ante-room or lobby and a salesroom, said partition being constructed to provide an entrance and an exit, a closure for the entrance, a closure for the exit, a series of merchandise display cabinets or holders arranged in rows in the salesroom and at distances apart to form aisles and having passage-ways at alternate ends whereby a continuous circuitous path is formed from said entrance to said exit, and a structure adjacent the terminal of the path at its exit end providing a checking up and settlement station, substantially as set forth.

    That sounds an awful lot to me like a design of a retail store/presence.

  132. Usability issues by Souffle · · Score: 2, Informative

    I've been inside one of these. The tellers stand at floating mini-kiosks instead of being inside a secure area. Instead of handing you cash, they hand you a receipt with a code to type into a machine that gives you cash. The tellers all have gigantic smiles and tons of patience and understanding to help the confused customers who expected to walk into a bank. It's actually pretty funny. Turns out we walked in the back door and couldn't see the line on the other side of the mini-kiosks, so we couldn't figure out where to wait without walking around the store a bit.

  133. idiotic by mlbright · · Score: 1

    As with software patents, this is a make-work project for lawyers and a complete waste of time for the rest of society. I'm going to go to a branch, do a little twirl, sit down on one of the strategically placed chairs, eat some brand name popcorn and blow a huge fart. Then I'll patent the fart smell and my new routine.

  134. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    That doesn't deal with the situation where the patent holder can block the other person using the technology even if the other person is _willing_ to pay a fee - and that's the problem, corporations who use patents to block out competitors. Compulsory licensing is the only even remotely fair solution if patents are to continue to exist.

  135. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    No. And if I ever meet you I will kick your ass. No, actually, I'll just shoot you. Because I'm a hard-working pro-free-market (and therefore anti-patent) libertarian with purple dreadlocks and an assault rifle.

  136. Re:Wow. I'm honored. by msobkow · · Score: 1

    ...or someone who's willing to form a Political Action Committee and put their money where their mouth is? Is that not what I just finished saying? If you don't have the money to buy senators and congressmen through influence, your opinion and your vote do not matter. Corps, groups which pool their finances, and the very rich are the only ones who get listened to by government.

    --
    I do not fail; I succeed at finding out what does not work.
  137. Re:Tech news? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Do you even know what dichotomy means?

  138. Re:Grammar by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Whomever approved this needs to be canned.

    If you're going to use pretentious language, you really should get it right to avoid looking like even more of an asshole. The correct thing to say was "Whoever approved..."

  139. Re:Tech news? by Hognoxious · · Score: 1
    that's the problem, corporations who use patents to block out competitors.
    What's to stop the competitor inventing something of their own, and patenting that?
    Compulsory licensing is the only even remotely fair solution if patents are to continue to exist.
    Who would set the price? The market can't, because a free market relies on the buyer or seller having the power to *not* buy or sell if they don't like the price; where it's mandatory to sell, the price will tend towards zero.

    One more thing - what if I invent a super duper weapon, but I have a change of conscience and become one of those tree-knitting yoghurt- hugger types? Surely I'm within my moral rights as a hippy to withold a license for this evil creation?

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."