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419ers Diversify Into Assassination Threats?

Richardsonke1 writes "Just when you thought 419ers couldn't get any worse, now they are sending death threats, according to a story at The Register. The emails require you to 'produce a mandatory sum of US$40,000.00 {FOURTHY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS} only,into our account given below in nigeria within ninety six hours{96},alternatively you will be SNIPPED and GUNNED down during the period of our oncoming anniversary of fifty years.' All joking of 'snipping' aside, for those people who fall for regular 419 emails, this would terrify many gullible web users."

53 of 529 comments (clear)

  1. Stephen King dead today... by rarose · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...after failing to pay Nigerian hitman.

    --
    --Rob
  2. YRO? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    Since when are assassination threats considered part of My Rights Online?

    1. Re:YRO? by TedCheshireAcad · · Score: 5, Funny

      Since when are assassination threats considered part of My Rights Online?

      Your right to be online is dependent first on your right to live. When your right to live is revoked, indirectly, your right to be online is too. Q.E.D.

  3. Wow by blurfus · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't think I could afford FOURTHY thousand dollars (American or otherwise) ;)

    --
    will work for Karma
    1. Re:Wow by Pirogoeth · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hope you weren't planning on kids in your future. Looks like you're getting snipped...

      --
      Happiness is like peeing yourself. Everybody can see it but only you can feel its warmth.
    2. Re:Wow by Alien+Being · · Score: 5, Funny

      Dear Towogbola,

      Fourthy-thousand dollars seems like a reasonably low sum to pay for the privilege of not being snipped, but, with two kids in college, cash flow is a problem for me now and I just don't have that much money on hand.

      I would be willing to send you $12.95/month if you would reduce the threat from snipping and gunning to something less severe. I'm sure I could withstand a few hours in the comfy chair.

      If this doesn't seem like a good deal to you, then I know of another way that I could pay you the cash. I assure you that this is completely legal! A long lost relative of mine from Germany left me five million Euros in a Swiss bank account. Perhaps you, with your banking connections could help me get the money out of switzerland.

      Please send me 8000 US DOLLARS so that I can submit the necessary applications.

      Sincerely,

      Icabod Slipp

    3. Re:Wow by TopShelf · · Score: 5, Funny

      You know, if you had gotten snipped a long time ago you wouldn't have to worry about putting two kids through college...

      --
      Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
  4. what about the real death threats by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Great!

    Now I have to read even more spam in order to filter out the fake death threats from the real ones!

    What happens if I mark a real death threat from my arch-nemesis as spam? I won't be ready to protect myself.

  5. The Scary Thing is... by trippinonbsd · · Score: 4, Funny

    I know more than a few people who would absolutely go nuts if they got this email. Oh and obligatory joke...
    1) Send Death Threat Emails
    2) Watch Money Roll In
    3) Profit!

    You dont even need the question marks.

  6. Snipped ... and baited! by Allen+Zadr · · Score: 5, Funny
    I can't wait to see this sort of scam get baited. They are assuming you are relatively gullible, with lots of money...

    Subject: Business proposistion

    Dear Assassination Corp:

    In light of the information you have provided about a contract on my life, I would like to propose a counter contract for the identity and termination of the person whom has contracted my death.

    Please contact me with details.

    Let the bidding war begin!

    --
    Kinetic stupidity has a new brand leader: Allen Zadr.
  7. Can I get a "do-not-assassinate" cert? by SmoothriderSean · · Score: 5, Funny

    They're going about this all wrong. Personally, I'd pay 5 or 10 bucks to have a certificate mailed to me from Nigeria certifying that I have indeed paid my way out of being "snipped".

    1. Re:Can I get a "do-not-assassinate" cert? by Bigby · · Score: 3, Funny

      Or send them some of your hair in an envelope and say, "To save you the trouble, I snipped myself. See the enclosed hair."

    2. Re:Can I get a "do-not-assassinate" cert? by AnonymousKev · · Score: 4, Funny
      You won't laugh about being "snipped" when you discover they're talking about your vas deferens !

      Now, where did I put that Forthy-Thousand Dollar bill?

      --
      Anonymous Kev
      Proudly posting as AC since 1997
      (Finally got a dang account in 2004)
    3. Re:Can I get a "do-not-assassinate" cert? by b0r0din · · Score: 5, Funny

      Actually, that'd be a great name to use when replying to 419 spams.

      Peter Vas Deferens, German Chancellor to the Office of External Organs.

      "Dear Mr. Ngubu,

      I can easily provide a massive tool to assist you in the process of removing your fourthy million dollars. As I have said previously, if you show me yours, I'll show you mine."

    4. Re:Can I get a "do-not-assassinate" cert? by ThisIsFred · · Score: 5, Funny

      What's this shit?! I already signed up for the Do-Not-Assassinate list. See, I told you those things aren't enforceable!

      --
      Fred

      "A fool and his freedom are soon parted"
      -RMS
  8. Blah by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Write back and ask if they take paypal.

  9. Well then... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Guess we have all the proof and reason we need to invade Nigeria now.

    1. Re:Well then... by ReelOddeeo · · Score: 5, Funny

      Guess we have all the proof and reason we need to invade Nigeria now.

      Ummm....

      The word is liberate not invade.

      Are you actually trying to get yourself sent to a re-education camp or something?

      --

      Those who would give up liberty in exchange for security and DRM should switch to Microsoft Palladium!
  10. uhhhh by Klar · · Score: 5, Funny

    That was a scam?!?!

    1. Re:uhhhh by XMyth · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well if you paid them (and you're still alive), it seems like they delivered on their end of the deal. Doesn't sound like a scam to me.....=)

    2. Re:uhhhh by YankeeInExile · · Score: 5, Funny

      ...I have a rock here that keeps away tigers.

      --
      How does the Slashdot Effect happen given that no slashdotters ever RTFA?
    3. Re:uhhhh by Bigby · · Score: 5, Funny

      You probably got scammed out of $39750. I was lucky enough to realize a fourthy thousand dollars is only $250. You sucker....(dead)

    4. Re:uhhhh by Mr+Guy · · Score: 5, Funny

      You scared the hell out of me. I thought you had my rock for a second and I had to check the room for tigers. Fortunately, I still have mine. The guy that sold it to me told me it was the only one! Small world eh?

    5. Re:uhhhh by hesiod · · Score: 5, Funny

      > The guy that sold it to me told me it was the only one!

      That was me, and they ARE different. His keeps away tigers with hair, yours keeps away tigers with teeth. You are better protected from any bald tigers out there ready to pounce. Of course, the ones with dentures can still be troublesome.

  11. Choices by bluelip · · Score: 4, Funny

    I think I'd rather be sniped than snipped. OUCH!!!

    --

    Yep, I never spell check.
    More incorrect spellings can be found he
    1. Re:Choices by Schwartzboy · · Score: 3, Funny

      I have to agree with you there. I mean, really...there's always another autographed special-edition James T. Kirk toupee on eBay within an hour or so of me getting sniped out of the last one, so what's the problem?

      Now, snipping, on the other hand, detracts from the value of said toupee...

      Wait, I've said too much. Don't snipe my stuff, you commie bastards!

      --
      "Linux doesn't exist. Everyone knows Linux is an unlicensed version of Unix"- Kieren O'Shaughnessy
  12. Snipped... by mdvlspwn99 · · Score: 3, Funny

    New weapon for Counterstrike, large shears! Prepare to be snipped!

    --
    If reality was like Slashdot, most people would be (-1) Redundant.
  13. Offended...??? by Core-Dump · · Score: 5, Funny

    Note : - Your death has been paid for by someone you offended sometime

    Bloody ex-wives.. i knew they were up to no good..

    --
    What would you do without a monitor? Sit and look stupid behind a keyboard and a mouse
  14. No Problem...I'll be Glad to Pay by Schlemphfer · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm more than willing to hand over my 30% share of the 27 million dollars left by Sani Abacha, the late Nigerian dictator, if they call off assassinating me.

    --
    I'm generally "Interesting," "Insightful," and even "Funny" here. What the hell happens to me at parties?
  15. Re:(forgot my accont info) Minor Nit by Quirk · · Score: 4, Funny

    Maybe they offer the victim the choice of being emasculated or gunned down.

    --
    "Academicians are more likely to share each other's toothbrush than each other's nomenclature."
    Cohen
  16. Re:Maybe... by TedCheshireAcad · · Score: 5, Funny

    So my years of using president@whitehouse.gov to register on forums and such has not been in vain?

  17. Sure ! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dear Mr Assassin

    I am willing to pay the 40.000 USD to you as soon as possible.

    However, since my money is an old war treasure (33.234.177 USD exactly) locked in an anonymous account in the Canaries, in order to pay you, I need someone in your country to act as intermediary. And God has put you on my way to help me achieve this holy task.

    I just need you to send me 28.000 USD in advance processing fee and...

  18. You inthenthitive clod! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't theathe him - he typthes with a lithp.

    1. Re:You inthenthitive clod! by blurfus · · Score: 5, Funny

      I am tho thorry...

      --
      will work for Karma
    2. Re:You inthenthitive clod! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      That doethn't thound thinthere.

  19. Re:SNIPPED by smittyman · · Score: 5, Funny

    Somebody I knew sometime ago used the most annoying Nailclippers. The sounds he produced were SNIP SNIP SNIP SNIP. All day long SNIP SNIP SNIP. I always hated that guy, I bet he is the one who is out to get me....I better pay, dying by nailclipper could take a long time........

    --
    Message from god, Please logoff, rebooting the Universe
  20. Yay, now I'll get spam saying: by Gentoo+Fan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Enlarge your penis... OR DIE!!

  21. please don't snip me by enrico_suave · · Score: 3, Funny

    aren't there enough problems in the world without drive by hair cutting?

    e.

    --
    Build Your Own PVR/HTPC news, reviews, &
  22. Re:419 by HBergeron · · Score: 4, Funny

    hard to play along with a death threat? Not at all, just write back that you double dog dare them to take a shot at you, in fact, make it easier for them by giving them your real name and address: Darl Mc.........

    --
    THE YEAR WAS 2081, and everybody was finally equal...
  23. Thats what YOU think! by SatanicPuppy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Check this out!

    Might be worth 40k not to have this guy chasing you around with those...

    --
    ad logicam Claiming a proposition is false because it was presented as the conclusion of a fallacious argument.
    1. Re:Thats what YOU think! by hesiod · · Score: 3, Funny

      Gotta love the Internet. You can find a link to anything completely unrelated and it's still hilariously pertinent.

  24. better yet by WormholeFiend · · Score: 4, Funny

    reply back and forge your header to potus@whitehouse.gov and ask him to repeat his message

  25. The wrong idea by Gzip+Christ · · Score: 5, Funny

    It sounds to me like somebody got the wrong idea with everybody raving about how much they love SpamAssassin. It was probably somebody who does not understand English very well (most likely from Soviet Russia) mistakenly thinking that people love it when spam assassinates you. Ah, the dangers of taking Slashdot too literally.

  26. Flattery by Penguinshit · · Score: 3, Funny


    Personally, I'd be thrilled to know that I pissed off someone enough to warrant taking out a contract on me.

    perhaps I need to get out more often...

  27. This explains the threat level increase... by jeeves99 · · Score: 4, Funny

    This must be the "chatter" the CIA and NSA picked up on when Homeland Security raised the threat level from Mango Orange to WillyWonka Fireball Red. Now if you don't mind, I need to go back to homedepot for duct tape and plastic tarps.

  28. New type of 419 request by gurps_npc · · Score: 3, Funny
    Dear Sir or Madam, I am sure you have heard of the "419" scam where people with millions of dollars attempt to trick gullible people into paying thousands of dollars in fees to set up accounts to receive the millions of dollars. Wouldn't you like to get into the action?

    I am an experienced 419 scammer, having worked for one of the most famous 419 scammers around, Narob Kulad. I have decided to set up shop on my own and am gathering investors for such a project. Once we have 10 million US dollars, we will begin to send out emails to gullible investors. We only need $34,000 to hit our target of 10 million, and I am selling shares at $1,000 per share to achieve that goal. Our expected return is 400% within one month. We plan on paying back 50% of the profit to our investors at the end of the month and reinvesting the rest for future gains.

    If you are interested in purchasing shares, please write to me at....

    --
    excitingthingstodo.blogspot.com
  29. Re:This has turned into terrorism... by MSBob · · Score: 4, Funny
    So when does Bush plan on invading Nigeria?

    Since when Bush's invasions have anything to do with terrorism?

    --
    Your pizza just the way you ought to have it.
  30. Please Help Me... by PSaltyDS · · Score: 4, Funny

    How do I sign up for the Federal Do Not Assassinate List? I need to know NOW!

    --
    Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced. - Geek's corollary to Clarke's law
  31. imagine the mispronounciations by SethJohnson · · Score: 4, Funny


    I doubt Cheney will risk sending Bush out to give a speech about invading a country that can so easily be mispronounced by Bush.

    Bush's thought process--"I know the country is full of black people, but the name doesn't sound like that word for black people. It doesn't sound like that word... It doesn't sound like that word.. Whoops! I just said the word I wasn't supposed to say."
  32. Few men in the USA have any reason to fear by istartedi · · Score: 3, Funny

    Most of us were snipped shortly after birth.

    --
    For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
  33. Re:What happens.... by wintermute740 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "when they send this e-mail to a Federal Agent, Judge, etc. personal e-mail address? Making a death threat on any of these persons is a felony and the US could seek extradition. Or mayby W. would consider this a terrorist threat and deliver a $40,000 piece of ordinance via the U.S. Air Force."

    Now why would the 419ers need a toilet seat?!

  34. Re:Not Exactly by Idarubicin · · Score: 4, Funny
    I don't know the source of the quotation, but I once heard it said,

    "Never try to extort more than it would cost to have you killed."

    --
    ~Idarubicin
  35. Re:send $40,000 or well kill you! by stfvon007 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dear assasination company: Im not giving you squat. Ill be waiting for you on the corner of clinton and boardwalk in my hometown on 7/24/04 so you can kill me. Ill be wearing a green shirt and no pants, so ill be easy to spot. COME GET ME! MUAHAHAHA! Sincerely, Hugh Jass

    --
    All misspellings and grammatical errors in the above post are intentional and part of my artistic expression.