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Happy 13th Birthday Linux!

carlmenezes writes "On August 25, 2001 we celebrated the 10th birthday of Linux. Today, it's year 13. Lucky for Linux, maybe?" Congrats to everyone who managed to get their name in the credits! You must be very proud parents.

51 of 322 comments (clear)

  1. puberty by nuggetman · · Score: 4, Funny

    soon its voice will be cracking and hair will be apearing in places it never appeared befeore

    --
    ...and that's all there is to it.
    1. Re:puberty by zymurgy_cat · · Score: 5, Funny

      don't forget that all the jobs in your crontab file will only get done once a week, but you'll now have to configure them to run every 5 minutes. ps and top will now start outputting things like, "yeah, yeah, i'll get to it later" and "i already did it this week!"

      --
      -- Fugacity: Confusing chemists since 1908
    2. Re:puberty by Barto · · Score: 2, Funny

      Ah, so that's why my desktop suddenly messy and the system log is showing frequent "bathroom breaks"

    3. Re:puberty by doggiesnot · · Score: 4, Funny

      Ah, they grow up so fast!

      You're lucky, when your little penguin is ready for junior/senior prom, at least you won't need to rent a tuxedo.


      rm -rf /bin/laden http://andrewhitchcock.org/index.pl?page=binladen

    4. Re:puberty by b0r0din · · Score: 5, Funny

      young-man$ rm trash
      rm: Aww, Mom! I'll do it later.
      young-man$ set TABLE "now"
      set: But I did it last week! Ask the Sparc5, I'm busy playing Counterstrike.
      young-man$ exec homework
      exec: Command failed.
      young-man$ write paper
      write: paper is not logged on.
      young-man$ kill -9 1
      NOOOOooooooooooo...

    5. Re:puberty by EvilTwinSkippy · · Score: 3, Funny

      And let's not forget look forward to Tux's first $600 phone bill, nor the constant onslaught of "I need a car."

      --
      "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
      --Dr.W.Edwards Deming
    6. Re:puberty by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      don't forget that all the jobs in your crontab file will only get done once a week

      ..or of cource, the "cron jobs" will be done way too fast. But that's ok according to the penguinettes - it happens to all of us at some point.. right?

    7. Re:puberty by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      And it'll start downloading pr0n.

      Guess we'll soon now whether Linux really is gay...

    8. Re:puberty by lukewarmfusion · · Score: 5, Funny

      Before he gets a car, he'll have to pay $699 for a license...

    9. Re:puberty by fr2asbury · · Score: 2, Funny

      Now depending on what parts of it are just like Unix, it may not have that problem. ;-)

  2. My Experience with the Linux by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I work as a consultant for several fortune 500 companies, and I think
    I can shed a little light on the climate of the open source community
    at the moment. I believe that part of the reason that open source
    based startups are failing left and right is not an issue of marketing
    as it's commonly believed but more of an issue of the underlying
    technology.

    I know that that's a strong statement to make, but I have evidence to
    back it up! At one of the major corps(5000+ employees) that I consult
    for, we wanted to integrate the shareware version of Linux into our
    server pool. The allure of not having to pay any restrictive licensing
    fees was too great to ignore. I reccomended the installation of
    several boxes running the new 2.4.9 kernel, and my hopes were high
    that it would perform up to snuff with the Windows 2k boxes which
    were(and still are!) doing an AMAZING job at their respective tasks of
    serving HTTP requests, DNS, and fileserving.

    I consider myself to be very technically inclined having programmed in
    VB for the last 8 years doing kernel level programming. I don't
    believe in C programming because contrary to popular belief, VB can go
    just as low level as C and the newest VB compiler generates code
    that's every bit as fast. I took it upon myself to configure the
    system from scratch and even used an optimised version of gcc 3.1 to
    increase the execution speed of the binaries. I integrated the 3
    machines I had configured into the server pool, and I'd have to say
    the results were less than impressive... We all know that linux isn't
    even close to being ready for the desktop, but I had heard that it was
    supposed to perform decently as a "server" based operating system. The
    3 machines all went into swap immediately, and it was obvious that
    they weren't going to be able to handle the load in this "enterprise"
    environment. After running for less than 24 hours, 2 of them had
    experienced kernel panics caused by Bind and Apache crashing! Granted,
    Apache is a volunteer based project written by weekend hackers in
    their spare time while Microsft's IIS has an actual professional full
    fledged development team devoted to it. Not to mention the fact that
    the Linux kernel itself lacks any support for any type of journaled
    filesystem, memory protection, SMP support, etc, but I thought that
    since Linux is based on such "old" technology that it would run with
    some level of stability. After several days of this type of behaviour,
    we decided to reinstall windows 2k on the boxes to make sure it wasn't
    a hardware problem that was causing things to go wrong. The machines
    instantly shaped up and were seamlessly reintegrated into the server
    pool with just one Win2K machine doing more work than all 3 of the
    Linux boxes.

    Needless to say, I won't be reccomending Linux/FSF to anymore of my
    clients. I'm dissappointed that they won't be able to leverege the
    free cost of Linux to their advantage, but in this case I suppose the
    old adage stands true that, "you get what you pay for." I would have
    also liked to have access to the source code of the applications that
    we're running on our mission critical systems; however, from the looks
    of it, the Microsoft "shared source" program seems to offer all of the
    same freedoms as the GPL.

    As things stand now, I can understand using Linux in academia to
    compile simple "Hello World" style programs and learn C programming,
    but I'm afraid that for anything more than a hobby OS, Windows
    98/NT/2K are your only choices.

  3. Linux is 13.. by Dogers · · Score: 1, Funny

    .. and Windows 95 was 9, just yesterday!

    --
    I am a viral sig. Please copy me and help me spread. Thank you.
    1. Re:Linux is 13.. by spellraiser · · Score: 3, Funny
      And what a revolution that was!

      I mean, jumping from version 3.1 to a whopping 95 in just over 3 years ... it boggles the mind.

      Here's to the fine people at Microsoft!

      Thank you, thank you. No, thank you. You can stop applauding now. Really.

      --
      I hear there's rumors on the Slashdots
    2. Re:Linux is 13.. by Orgazmus · · Score: 2, Funny

      I still think 98 -> 2000 is more impressive

      --
      The system had the verbosity of HTML combined with all the readability of compiled assembly viewed as bitmap images
  4. Closed party by tcdk · · Score: 4, Funny
    So I click "Read More" and get a

    Nothing for you to see here. Please move along.

    ...message. Inviting people to a birthday party and they not letring them in the door...

    That's just rude...

    --
    TC - My Photos..
  5. it's teenage years by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    when the child genius starts getting distracted and all rebelious.

    linus: what are you rebeling against?

    tux: whadda ya got?

  6. Little boy is growing up. by The+I+Shing · · Score: 4, Funny

    Linux is 13? Pretty soon it's going to start liking girls, [sniff] and then before you know it you're handing over the car keys and telling it to please be careful. (oops, I've assigned the male gender to an operating system... all the girls who read Slashdot will be mad at me... all three of them...)

    --
    You are in error. No-one is screaming. Thank you for your cooperation.
    1. Re:Little boy is growing up. by MmmmAqua · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hey now, don't go forcing Linux into your gender roles! Linux is about choice - so you'll just have to become comfortable with Linux's new companion - Tim.

      --
      Arr! The laws of physics be a harsh mistress!
    2. Re:Little boy is growing up. by Qzukk · · Score: 3, Funny

      Could be worse, Linux could have chosen Bob ;)

      --
      If I have been able to see further than others, it is because I bought a pair of binoculars.
  7. Linux a Teen? by Manip · · Score: 4, Funny

    Oh woot, we've had 10years of calm quiet Linux and now we get 5 of teen Linux.. moody and depressed. :-/

    I for one can't wait until Linux reaches maturity on its 18th.

    PS I bet Linux will get more girls fiddling with it than I did as a teen.. UHH even than I do currently :'(

    1. Re:Linux a Teen? by whovian · · Score: 2, Funny

      now we get 5 [years] of teen Linux.. moody and depressed.

      Linux will grow out of it. We just need to speak out against Clippy Suicide.

      --
      To-do List: Receive telemarketing call during a tornado warning. Check.
    2. Re:Linux a Teen? by Lumpy · · Score: 3, Funny

      I for one can't wait until Linux reaches maturity on its 18th.

      please, show me one 18 year old that has maturity...

      drinking like everything's a wild party.. no sense of reality..

      call me when it's made it through 4 years of college, 3 of which it had to pay for because mom and adad got pissed and pulled all their funding in the first year because linux was doing nothing but partying all the time at college and getting bad grades.

      more is learned by the kids that get slapped with the reality of having to enter the real world of pain and work and exiting the magical world of everything is done for me. than all the graduate classes at the best colleges on this planet.

      I think every child at graduation from highschool should be FORCED to work 8 months in a public service role locally or part of the peace corps abroad. slap them in the face hard with reality befoer they waste their first year at college getting high and still to this day cant remember where the car he had when he went to school is.

      Yes, I lost a 1982 ford mustang at school my first year... it was one hell of a party (a 3 month drunk play's hell on your Calculus grade) and I still find beer caps in storage boxes I rendomly look in from my first year of undergrad..

      I think I had a couple of roommates... and I am sure the car was red.

      Oh man I really hope that Linux is not going to follow the human maturity cycle... it's going to be a complete know-it-all ass until around 23..

      --
      Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
  8. This is TH and I pronounce Linux as... by TeknoHog · · Score: 3, Funny
    It was thirteen years ago today
    Col. Torvalds let the source away.
    We've been going in and out of drives
    but we guarantee to raise uptimes.

    So may I introduce to you
    the hack you've known for all these years
    Col. Torvalds' Linux slash GNU Band!

    We're Col. Torvalds' Linux slash GNU Band,
    we hope you will enjoy the code.
    Col. Torvalds' Linux slash GNU Band,
    just hack and let the evening go!

    Col. Torvalds' Linux
    Col. Torvalds' Linux
    Col. Torvalds' Linux slash GNU Band!

    It's wonderful to post here,
    it's certainly no troll.
    You're such a loyal userbase,
    we'd like to merge your code with us,
    we'd love to grep your /home.

    I don't really want to freeze the code,
    but I thought you might like to know
    this release is going to fix the root
    and we want you all to patch for good.

    So let me introduce to you
    the one and only Billy's fear
    Col. Torvalds' Linux slash GNU Band!
    --
    Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
    1. Re:This is TH and I pronounce Linux as... by EvilTwinSkippy · · Score: 2, Funny
      I learned the truth at seventeen,
      that code was meant for blue machines,
      and high school kids with pasty smiles
      who started dot coms then retired
      The valentines I never knew
      the Friday night deep coding foos
      were spent on one more professional
      at seventeen I learned the truth

      And those of us with ravaged faces
      lacking in the social graces
      deperately remained at home
      exchanging patches on the phone
      to add new bits to the feature tree
      and murmured vague obscenities
      they weren't all it seems at seventeen

      A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
      whos name I never could pronounce
      said pity please the ones who code
      they always seem to get the chode
      the soft and cushy m.s.c.e.
      who cannot't buy what is for free
      gets paid by the company
      which is a haven for the elderly

      So remember those who win the game
      lose the love they sought to gain
      in debentures for quality and dubious integrity
      the small-town eyes will gape at you
      in dull surprise when payment due
      exceed benefits recieved at sevententeen

      (Instrumental)

      To those of use who knew the pain
      of valentines that never came
      and those whose names where never called
      when choosing sides for basketball
      it was long ago and far away
      the world was younger than today
      when code was all they gave out for free
      to ugly duckling geeks like me

      We all play the game, and when we dare
      we cheat ourselved at solitaire
      submitting patches over the phone
      repenting other lives unknown
      to ask for new bits to the feature tree
      and murmur vague obscenities
      at ugly geeks like me, at seventeen
      --
      "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
      --Dr.W.Edwards Deming
  9. And that is why... by Gunfighter · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... I got married on the 10th birthday of Linux. That way my anniversary would be easy to remember.

    By the way honey, if you're reading this... Happy Anniversary.

    --
    -- Stu

    /. ID under 2,000. I feel old now.
    1. Re:And that is why... by kfg · · Score: 3, Funny

      Don't forget to email her a jpeg of flowers. It would be a bitch to have to play CounterStrike Source alone for the next week.

      KFG

    2. Re:And that is why... by sometwo · · Score: 4, Funny

      Maybe you can get her some Linux jewelry....

    3. Re:And that is why... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      No thanks. I'd rather stay married.

  10. One more year... by MalaclypseTheYounger · · Score: 1, Funny

    And Linux will finally be old enough to watch "Adult Swim".

    "It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!" - RIP, Harry...

    --
    Check out the best P2P sharing website: MEDIACHEST.COM
  11. Fingers crossed... by sczimme · · Score: 2, Funny


    I hope it doesn't become a petulant and rebellious teenager - sleeping late, making people wait, grumbling about garbage collection, exploring promiscuous mode, ignoring quotas, etc.

    /"Excuse me, I seem to have the plague" - E. Izzard

    --
    I want to drag this out as long as possible. Bring me my protractor.
  12. A happy birthday cake... by derphilipp · · Score: 2, Funny

    ..leftover from the sysadminday: http://www.pweissmann.de/kuchen.jpg
    (A blackberry cake I made, a really simple recipe).

    Happy Birthday Linux !

    --
    Spelling mistakes: My is english spoken not tongue of mother.
  13. Only 13?!?! by SirStanley · · Score: 5, Funny

    I feel kinda creepy for having to fsck my linux partition now.

    --
    --------========+++Dont Feed The Lab Techs+++========--------
    1. Re:Only 13?!?! by Prod_Deity · · Score: 1, Funny

      Good thing you didn't post AC, we would've seen a bunch of Michael Jackson posts.

  14. Great! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The stars are aligned. Clearly, this will be the year of linux on the desktop!

  15. Post your confessions here: by GoMMiX · · Score: 1, Funny

    C'mon, how many of you bought your Linux distro a cake?

    1. Re:Post your confessions here: by grunt107 · · Score: 2, Funny

      My distro has diabetes (Type 2).
      Gotta diet (removes KDE, Gnome GUIs...)

  16. heh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    ... hey its my bday too! kinda odd I share a bday with linux. does this mean I have a to share my cake with my debian box?!?

  17. happy birthday! by sometwo · · Score: 4, Funny

    Here's a special birthday package

  18. Colonel? by Glytch · · Score: 3, Funny

    Shouldn't that be Kernel Torvalds?

  19. Come on... by StevenHenderson · · Score: 4, Funny

    Come on, Linux...just tell me you're 18. I'm dying to install you on my computers any play with you all night long

  20. crap... by blueforce · · Score: 1, Funny

    root$ uptime
    5477 days, 13 hours, 27 minutes

    huh?

    root$ uname
    Solaris 4.03c

    Where do I get this Linux thing?

    --
    If you do what you always did, you get what you always got.
    1. Re:crap... by lucas+teh+geek · · Score: 2, Funny

      root$ uptime
      102342342323423 days, 26 hours, 87 minutes

      huh?

      root$ uname
      teh Windows xp sp3 l33t alpha-beta 666

      Wow! I can make up numbers too!

      --
      TIAEAE!
  21. song by Tomahawk · · Score: 2, Funny

    /me sings:

    Happy Birthday to you,
    You live in the zoo,
    You look like a penguin,
    and you smell like one too! :)

    Happy 13th Linux!

    T.

  22. With apologies to Bill Cosby by gosand · · Score: 5, Funny

    I spawned your process, and I can kill -9 you!

    --

    My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.

  23. Congrats... by fudgefactor7 · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...you are now an awkward teen.

    Now, stay the hell out of my pr0n.

  24. Re:Nah ah! by suso · · Score: 4, Funny

    You're right, the release date of the first version should be its birthday. So today is more like the 13th anniversary of the middle of its third tri-mester. ;-)

  25. Re:First words by hoofie · · Score: 4, Funny

    I like the bit at the bottom:

    ...it probably never will support anything other than AT-harddisks, as that's all I have :-(."

    I think the hardware support has moved on a bit from then....[My linux is currently running on a dual-processor pentium with SCSI raid array].

  26. Penguin years... by atomic-penguin · · Score: 4, Funny

    But the average penguin lives 15-20 years. So that is like 46 in penguin years. So Tux would be going through a mid-life crisis about now.

    --
    /^([Ss]ame [Bb]at (time, |channel.)){2}$/
  27. Re:Favorite Unix/Linux Links by termos · · Score: 2, Funny
    Official Gentoo-Linux-Zealot translator-o-matic

    Gentoo Linux is an interesting new distribution with some great features. Unfortunately, it has attracted a large number of clueless wannabes and leprotards who absolutely MUST advocate Gentoo at every opportunity. Let's look at the language of these zealots, and find out what it really means...

    "Gentoo makes me so much more productive."
    "Although I can't use the box at the moment because it's compiling something, as it will be for the next five days, it gives me more time to check out the latest USE flags and potentially unstable optimisation settings."

    "Gentoo is more in the spirit of open source!"
    "Apart from Hello World in Pascal at school, I've never written a single program in my life or contributed to an open source project, yet staring at endless streams of GCC output whizzing by somehow helps me contribute to international freedom."

    "I use Gentoo because it's more like the BSDs."
    "Last month I tried to install FreeBSD on a well-supported machine, but the text-based installer scared me off. I've never used a BSD, but the guys on Slashdot say that it's l33t though, so surely I must be for using Gentoo."

    "Heh, my system is soooo much faster after installing Gentoo."
    "I've spent hours recompiling Fetchmail, X-Chat, gEdit and thousands of other programs which spend 99% of their time waiting for user input. Even though only the kernel and glibc make a significant difference with optimisations, and RPMs and .debs can be rebuilt with a handful of commands (AND Red Hat supplies i686 kernel and glibc packages), my box MUST be faster. It's nothing to do with the fact that I've disabled all startup services and I'm running BlackBox instead of GNOME or KDE."

    "...my Gentoo Linux workstation..."
    "...my overclocked AMD eMachines box from PC World, and apart from the third-grade made-to-break components and dodgy fan..."

    "You Red Hat guys must get sick of dependency hell..."
    "I'm too stupid to understand that circular dependencies can be resolved by specifying BOTH .rpms together on the command line, and that problems hardly ever occur if one uses proper Red Hat packages instead of mixing SuSE, Mandrake and Joe's Linux packages together (which the system wasn't designed for)."

    "All the other distros are soooo out of date."
    "Constantly upgrading to the latest bleeding-edge untested software makes me more productive. Never mind the extensive testing and patching that Debian and Red Hat perform on their packages; I've just emerged the latest GNOME beta snapshot and compiled with -O9 -fomit-instructions, and it only crashes once every few hours."

    "Let's face it, Gentoo is the future."
    "OK, so no serious business is going to even consider Gentoo in the near future, and even with proper support and QA in place, it'll still eat up far too much of a company's valuable time. But this guy I met on #animepr0n is now using it, so it must be growing!"

    -

    --
    Note to self: get smarter troll to guard door.
  28. Re:Uh huh! by AME · · Score: 2, Funny
    won't be big and professional like gnu ... it probably never will support anything other than AT-harddisks

    Not much of a visionary, is he?

    --
    "I have a good idea why it's hard to verify programs. They're usually wrong." --Manuel Blum, FOCS 94
  29. Re:Stupid version names by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    I forget what XP stands for. eXtra Pain?

    It doesn't stand for anything; it's an emoticon.