Slashdot Mirror
Star Wars TV Show
The lunatick writes "IESB and Theforce.net report a Star Wars TV show. Lucas will not direct it just produce it. Kevin Smith (Silent Bob, the clerks series) is named as a possible director."
← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)
Lucas is not involved - YAhoo!!!
Is there anything that Kevin Smith has not been named as a possible director for? I'm still waiting for his Green Lantern movie.
Darth: "No Luke, I am your father!"
Luke: "You're my dad? Oh boy, and you know what the worst thing is?"
Darth: "What, my son?"
Luke: "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
Drill baby drill - on Mars
Or Paula Zahn, for that matter...
Does that mean it will have Mark Hamill as Cock-Knocker?
Did Han really shoot first? The jedi cousole investigates. And the Empire Strikes Back, again! All this crap and 20 minutes of Jar-Jar on the next -- Star Wars!
(ugh)
I have a bad feeling about this.
"Do you see a sign on my lawn that says 'Dead Wookie Storage'??"
You're right. If Star Trek hadn't made the mistake of making a TV Show, all the paperbacks and Souvineer LPs and stuff would have been far more successful.
"What's the frequency Kenneth?"
Sorry, can't resist, I just have to post it :)
(taken from http://www.whysanity.net/monos/clerks5.html)
Building the Death Star
written by Kevin Smith
Randal: So they build another Death Star, right?
Dante: Yeah.
Randal: Now the first one they built was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it.
Dante: Luke blew it up. Give credit where it's due.
Randal:And the second one was still being built when they blew it up.
Dante: Compliments of Lando Calrissian.
Randal: Something just never sat right with me the second time they destroyed it. I could never put my finger on it-something just wasn't right.
Dante: And you figured it out?
Randal: Well, the thing is, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army-storm troopers, dignitaries- the only people onboard were Imperials.
Dante: Basically.
Randal: So when they blew it up, no prob. Evil is punished.
Dante: And the second time around...?
Randal: The second time around, it wasn't even finished yet. They were still under construction.
Dante: So?
Randal: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
Dante: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.
Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.
Dante: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?
Randal: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. (notices Dante's confusion) All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.
(The Blue-Collar Man (Thomas Burke) joins them.)
Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?
Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.
Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.
Blue-Collar Man: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer... (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.
Randal: Like when?
Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.
Dante: Whose house was it?
Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino's.
Randal: "Babyface" Bambino? The gangster?
Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.
Dante: Based on personal politics.
Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.
Rand
What has *science* done?!? -- Dr. Weird (ATHF)
I guess that's the good part of the story
I don't read replies by ACs.
Wait... you're saying it can still dig a deeper hole than Episode I? Now that's scary...
As if millions of dollars suddendly cried out, and Lucas thought, "Why not, I sold out years ago anyway."
...As if the voices of a million Star Wars fans suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced...
A .nerd tld might be amusing...Perhaps I'll go email the OSRC.
I hope it's as good as the old Holiday Special!
"Flyin' in just a sweet place,
Never been known to fail..."
"I gotta say, everytime I see another part of Star Wars being sold out, a little part of me dies."
:D
Cool. A few years of a television series and you'll be dead. One less 'George Lucas raped my childhood' Slashdot poster is fine with me
Who is gonna change channel first? Me or Greedo?
You mean the Ewok shows or the Christmas special?
"God fights on the side with the best artillery." - Napoleon, Marshal of France - speaking truth to power
New. Levels. Of. Yanking. That. Teet.
Oh no, please don't tell me that William Shatner is going to be in it... [runs away screaming]
Karma? Hey I just call it as I see it.
Luke: Don't you never say an unkind word about the Time. Me and Silent Solo modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I'm a smooth pimp who loves the pussy. And Tubby here is my black man servant. What.
[Silent Solo nods vigorously]
It's simple: I demand prosecution for torture.
The best comparison is Enterprise. Every Trekkie knows how the universe played out, hence a lot of them hate Enterprise for changing that!
Funny you should mention Berman. From TFA:
Berman: When asked if he had any other advice for George, "He can always hire me if Enterprise doesn't work out".
I think I speak for everyone with a geeky bone in his body when I say . . .
Nooooooooooooo!
Or, perhaps more thematically appropriately:
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!
If its any different than that, it will be pure crap, nobody will watch it and it will be filed away in the history of TV Land failures, right behind Cop Rock.
-- Mace only makes me hornier.
"STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL."
Hoping to see Pam Anderson as a Grand Moff
Grand Muff, don't you mean?
to know what life is like back at C3PO's family homestead. I want to hear every bleep and bloop that they converse with as they prepare for the great droid holiday called "Gordon Moore's Birthday".
Maybe they could get Conan O'Brian to drop in as a suprise special guest since Art Carney prob won't make it. Then the C3PO family gets all worried cuz R2D2 is late getting there cuz he is caught in a barfight over at the Cantina on Mos Eisley (cuz you know they don't like droids there!)
That would be cool. It would be like the SWHS all over again except without all those annoying wookies.
>>>>>> Chewie, take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive.
- CSI: Coruscant
- Law & Order: Imperial Sedition Unit
- Extreme Makeover: Padawan Edition
- The Darth Vader Factor
- Survivor: Dagobah
- Who Wants To Marry A Sith Lord?
- The Apprentice
Damn. Actually I think I'd enjoy some of those."It is our blasphemy which has made us great, and will sustain us, and which the gods secretly admire in us." - Zelazny
Don't you mean Seasons 4-6?
"C'mon LUNCHBOX! Fix that fuckin' hyperdrive already!"
Yeah but tell me Silent Bob wouldn't make a kick arse sith lord..
Or the classic: "Bocce, motherfucker, do you speak it?"
The fact that the Zahn books exist make me so much madder about the new SW movies. There would have made excellent sequels. In episodes 4/5/6 the rebels fight the Empire and win. The books take place soon after that and involve the former rebels setting up a new government and defending against remnants of the Empire. Lando blew up the Death Star, but there are still a whole fleet of star destroyers out there. There's a very cool parallel involving Luke's growth from a kid with a disco haircut to Jedi master and the rebellion's growth from ragtag fighters to a galactic government.
I have a bad feeeling that Lucas is going to leave instructions in his will that nobody can make any more SW movies.
About the TV show: I imagine Kevin Smith sitting in a meeting going "I'll pay you a million dollars if you let me direct the show...no two million!"
-B
I hope not!
Please read my Canon EOS tech blog at http://www.everyothershot.com
Say MIDICHLORIANS again, I double dare you!
"Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife
Fagoo-goo-Grass? oh man, where can I get some of that awesomest burninations?
Oh my gawd, they killed kenny's mod points!!!!
C) Battle for Endor. Oh, yeah. Cindel returns, and aids the Ewoks in a battle against the evil Marauders. I just can't get enough of Ewoks battling evil Marauders. And...TEEK! We need TEEK!
Like, old Teek. Crippled. But he hobbles faster than beans through a Texan with the flu.
CINDEL SHOOTS FIRST!
I got my Linux laptop at System76.
ADMIRAL JAY AKBAR: All right, plan A. We wait 'till the Death Star's right about in orbit, then WHAM! Smack two fuckin' proton torpedoes right up its trench. We're all on 'em with the snub fighters, which Grand Moff LaFours won't be expectin' - their pitiful-ass defenses are designed for capital ships, baby! Then it's back to the Temple on Yavin for some hot Wookie sex and a fattie blunt. May the force be with us! Snootchie-bootchies!
No, no.
...
There can be only one Highlander film.
There can be only one
After all, there's only one Queen soundtrack.
They can figure out who really shot first!