Slashdot Mirror
Navy ELF to Be Scrapped
engywook writes "National Public Radio and The Daily Press of Ashland, Wisconsin (among others, I'm sure) are reporting that the US Navy plans to scrap the Extremely Low Frequency (ELF) system for communication with its fleet of nuclear submarines, both in Wisconsin and Michigan. The report states that the Navy no longer feels that ELF is necessary, and that they will now rely on 12 VLF systems. The system has been in operation since October 1989. The system has been protested nearly the whole time, both as a part of a Weapon of Mass Destruction and as a potential health hazard."
If radio antennas are considered weapons of mass destruction, I think we are all in trouble.
24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not!
At last years naval exercises, Australia got a lot of flak from the US for beating them with our subs :)
[Aussie aussie aussie!]
Not Meta-modding due to apathy.
Yeah, finally time to throw away our tinfoil hats!
anybody see that X-Files episode where Mulder & Scully were rooting around in the forest and a bunch of not-quite human creatures were killing people in the forest?
I doubt it was based on scientific fact, but walking in the forest might be bad for you.
Think about your breathing; those trees are stealing from your lungs.
Skot Nelson music is my saviour / i was maimed by rock and roll
The Navy Elf's office responded with this vitriolic press release:
...
Overcoming adversity is nothing new to Mr. Elf - he had to fight to get to the top at the North Pole, and he'll have to fight here to stay afloat at the Navy. Our team actually sees this as a golden opportunity to expose the corruption, pressure, and discrimination all the elves face daily
.. as long as you've got your ELF, that's the main thing. /*rim shot*
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
"Gaylord and I worked since 1972 together to try and end financing first for Project Sanguine and then ELF. The Navy would always whip us."
I see that nothing's changed in the Navy, then...
~
~
~
-- INSERT --
...that Legolas was the first sign that ELFs were hazardous to our health. Anything that pale CAN'T be healthy.
Lotsa results on Google about this topic.
Damn perverted elves.
They bagged two subs as well as a surface ship.
Does this mean that the Navy will go back to creating a.out binaries and libraries? I thought they only ran Window$ on their ships....
lol, YHBT! HAND!
That's right, think about your breathing. "Why?" you ask. Well, it's quite simple.
Your brain usually takes care of breathing for you, but whenever you remember this, you must manually breath. If you don't, you will die.
These four words can be thrown randomly into article texts, into sigs, into anything, and once seen, will force the victim to take care of his breathing manually.
for communication with its fleet of nuclear submarines, both in Wisconsin and Michigan
Yet more evidence that we must vote Kerry - Bush has our nuclear subs stationed in the Midwest.
paintball
In other news, Santa has eleminated all ELF positions from his North Pole outpost: "Improvements in toy-making technology and the changing requirements of Today's Santa made the ELF system no longer necessary," said the news release. A North Pole spokesman said the decision to shut down ELFs came out of an assessment concluding that improvements in technology made ELFs unnecessary.
Sony ha
Everyone knows Dwarves have better technical aptitude, are more comfortable in confined spaces, and have higher strength and constitution to boot.
paintball
The Navy is no longer interrested in nuking the whales, they feel that confusing the hell out of them provides for hours of humour. In canada we feel different. Our submarines let the water in so we can speak to them directly :D Much more natural don't you think?
----
Go canucks, habs, and sens!
worried .. i thought they were talking about the linux exectable format.
no, no need no worry this is about an unimportant thing in a for away place called real world.
Come on nerds, someone write this up.
Mulder can stop heading west.
The Earth's natural resonance is about 7.83 Hz, also known as the Schumann resonance.
There is evidence that this field is used by living cells as a timing frequency of sorts.
The powerful ELF and VLF transmissions are thought to "overdrive" cells, possibly leading to increased cancers.
I am also aware of anecdotal evidence of ELF waves "beaming messages" into the head of an individual.
However, since that person was wearing his underwear as a dew-rag, I am a bit sceptical on that one.
The Pixies
ELF, which is frequencies between 30Hz to 300Hz, can affect life since it disrupts electrical signals in the body. This is especially bad for cyclical signals, like that of the heart. Since I'm not a marine biologist, I can't really tell you exactly which frequencies are dangerous. I do know you can actually kill humans fairly quickly if you direct a sufficiently powerful ELF signal at the victim at a frequency close to that of his/her pulse (usually around 60Hz).
I did not realize that. Personally, I'm glad to hear the armed forces are becoming more tolerant.
If your pulse is at 60Hz, you've got bigger problems than an ELF signal :)
If you have a 60Hz pulse, you're either a hummingbird or in desperate need of medical attention.
Yes, I remember that. It was later revealed that one of the Captains was actually an AI in a kangaroo suit.
For a moment I thought the navy had their own executable and linking format. Must be too early in the morning for me !
Electronic Music Made Using Linux http://soundcloud.com/polyp
Two subs with a screwed crew.
It's nice when the government stops their greedy reservation of parts of the spectrum and lets the public have it back! (OK, they haven't quite done that yet, but it sounds like they might soon...) Now we can start using the 7Hz band for the Internet!
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
Jebus. With all the links in it that article reads like a Slashdot story!
To follow knowledge like a sinking star, / Beyond the utmost bound of human thought. ("Ulysses", Tennyson)
Do you really think Australia has 30 ships?
That reminds me of the time when some Finnish units went to Norway for joint exercises with Norwegians and Americans. Exercise was about warfare in arctic conditions. Well, as it happened, only the Finns and the Norwegians carried out the combat-training as intented. The American troops just stayed in their tents and tried to stay alive.
Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs - -all next week on Town Talk.
Wait a minute. Do you have incriminating pictures featuring, perhaps, Duyba and Tony?
Nice to see the people supporting this aren't mindless racist nazi-ish flamers.
I am NOT a number! I am a - oh wait, I'm number 761710. Look! 761710!
If I have ELF support compiled into my kernel does this mean I have to pull it out and recompile?
It's a shame that guy didn't see the 25 mile long antenna that was hidden pointing at his desk, he could have avoided the fatal rare blood disease.
Our deterrent against the Canadian threat.
Custer at Little Big Horn springs to mind right away.
[Aussie aussie aussie!]
Oi Oi Oi!
"We returned the General to El Salvador, or maybe Guatemala, it's difficult to tell from 10,000 feet"
The other cool thing about a D.E. sub is that you can surface it and put a lantern at the top point of the sub.
Then have all the crew start singing "louie louie," rather drunkenly.
After the nuke leaves cause it thinks you're a fishing vessel, you hold a mock pirate trial and dump an idiotic loudmouth onto a passing fishing vessel, piggyback between the screws of an oil tanker and blow up the dummy ship in the harbor.
All with 'welcome aboard' tatooed on your peepee
When we do exercises with foreign nationals, we have to mask our true sound signature, so as not to give away valuable data on HOW quiet we are, exactly what noises we normally make, and how best to detect us. Also, a submarine exercise where nobody can see anyone else isn't very good training - it's just driving around in circles. So sometimes we have to give away our position on purpose to get the show on the road.
>
>
Is this when US Navy Subs aren't raming unarmed Japanese Fishing Boats?
What would the Canadian Army want with the Michigan militia's ass?