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U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft Resigns

andyring writes "In a move that will undoubtedly make many /. readers jump for joy (although perhaps not myself), Attorney General John Ashcroft announced he will resign, according to multiple news sources. While many here dislike him, others have more favorable opinions of him. He became the point man on the USA Patriot Act, which typically ignites harsh opinions on both sides of the aisle." Reader cnsc1rtr , referring to the AP's version of the story, writes "He gave Bush a five-page, handwritten letter in which he stated, 'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.'"

97 of 1,275 comments (clear)

  1. SAFE! by Elwood+P+Dowd · · Score: 5, Funny

    'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.'

    That is the BEST NEWS EVER! How come he didn't tell us about this before?

    --

    There are no trails. There are no trees out here.
    1. Re:SAFE! by siliconjunkie · · Score: 4, Informative

      OK. Here's the article. The statement in question occurs in paragraph three. Please explain how was it taken "out of context"?

    2. Re:SAFE! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yes, they left out the first bit:
      "With my resignation the objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved."

    3. Re:SAFE! by Auckerman · · Score: 5, Insightful

      'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.'

      This is and example of one thing the Bush administration understands, how to kill discussions. The trick is to say something so outlandish and WRONG that everyone who pays attention will know as wrong and the discussion dies there, while at the the same time, the less observant get the desired impression. The fun part is, if you have a valid argument that is even remotely related (rational or emotional level) against the individual, a lot of people will dismiss you without hearing you thinking 1. you are on the same level as them (that's just how politicians are) or 2. you're a conspiracy nut. (he's just reading too much into this political nonsense).

      Really impressive use of the media if you ask me. If you say enough factually wrong soundbites, people will dismis you AND the people who are after you. Those who don't dismis you will think you are amazing.

      --

      Burn Hollywood Burn
    4. Re:SAFE! by Rei · · Score: 4, Funny

      Without Ashcroft around, who will there be to dilligently protect a woman's right to give birth? Or to protect a terminally-ill patient's right to keep living? Or an atheist student's right to participate in school-sponsored prayer? Or a muslim's right to be given a surprise trip to a tropical carribean island? Or even a pipe maker's right to have a long-term vacation to Huntsville?

      I fear for this country without Ashcroft around. Let the eagle soar, John. Let it soar.

      P.S.: If you need someone to annoint you with cooking oil for your next job, just give me a call. I've got a bottle of Wesson in the cabinet.

      --
      That's it, Mr. Giraffe, get all the marmalade.
    5. Re:SAFE! by g3head · · Score: 5, Funny
      'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.'

      That is the BEST NEWS EVER! How come he didn't tell us about this before?

      well, he's just now resigning....

    6. Re:SAFE! by Caiwyn · · Score: 4, Insightful

      AWESOME.

      So, can I have my rights back, now?

    7. Re:SAFE! by The_Rook · · Score: 5, Insightful

      not to be a killjoy, but has it occurred to anyone that ashcroft is resigning as attorney general so as to prepare himself for a nomination to the supreme court?

      --
      when religion is no longer the opiate of the masses, governments will resort to real opiates.
    8. Re:SAFE! by BrynM · · Score: 4, Funny
      BTW, Re: the statute behind him in the picture, I thought they had covered that statue up already?
      Nipple(s) are OK if you are and two of these:
      • Made of Stone
      • Made of Bronze
      • Made of Plaster
      • Standing behind a Bush Cabinet Member
      • The verdict is still pending for made of Silicone
      Being made of flesh and showing nipple(s) is strictly forbidden! Think of the children! No! Don't think of their nipples you perv! Think of their small impressionable minds! Without taboo they would be heathens.
      --
      US Democracy:The best person for the job (among These pre-selected choices...)
    9. Re:SAFE! by siliconjunkie · · Score: 4, Informative

      From Ashcroft's letter: The demands of justice are both rewarding and depleting. I take great personal satisfaction in the record which has been developed. The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved. The rule of law has been strengthened and upheld in the courts. Yet, I believe that the Department of Justice would be well served by new leadership and fresh inspiration. I believe that my energies and talents should be directed toward other challenging horizons.

    10. Re:SAFE! by NaDrew · · Score: 5, Informative
      If you say enough factually wrong soundbites, people will dismis you AND the people who are after you. Those who don't dismis you will think you are amazing.
      It's called The Big Lie and it's a technique with quite a lot of history.
      --
      Vista:XPSP2::ME:98SE
    11. Re:SAFE! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Anyone else notice the boob is back in plain view at the Justice department?

    12. Re:SAFE! by LilGuy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Yeah, I heard about this from a couple of other sites. I was surprised it wasn't mentioned in the article.

      What else would you think he meant by saying he wanted to open himself up for new challenging areas?

      I thought it was awful that he was the Attourney General.. but I can't hardly fathom him as an SPJ. The country is no longer going to hell in a handbasket.. oh no, its going on a silver platter.

      --

      You're nothing; like me.
    13. Re:SAFE! by dameron · · Score: 4, Insightful

      It's the same thing as with "intelligent design." This administration will say -anything-, even the most blatant lie (like Ashcroft's victory lap quoted above), and use that as a position to -start- the "debate". Suddenly the "truth" has quotations around it and the lie get's equal play.

      It's not even a strawman, it's literally the fucking Chewbacca defense.

      That the press and most (maybe) of the electorate falls for this is the main reason why so many on the left are willing to believe the election was rigged.

      -dameron

    14. Re:SAFE! by Moofie · · Score: 4, Informative

      No, Clinton was the master of the nuanced evasion. Bush and his handlers are the masters of doublethink.

      --
      Why yes, I AM a rocket scientist!
    15. Re:SAFE! by ConceptJunkie · · Score: 4, Funny

      I've heard it described that photographers will go through great contortions to get the boob in the frame with Ashcroft. Not that he didn't have that coming.

      --
      You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
    16. Re:SAFE! by A+nonymous+Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Bush and his handlers are the masters of doublethink.

      Maybe his handlers are masters of doublethink, but Bush himself is master of nothink, and that's why his handlers picked him.

    17. Re:SAFE! by feidaykin · · Score: 4, Insightful
      Sure, if you can name one right that has been taken away from YOU.

      How about the right to know if the government has peaked at my medical records, or noticed what books I've checked out at the library? Now, I can't prove they have, but no one can prove they have not since I simply don't have the right to know. I would like that right, and I would like the right to not have to think "Anything I check out here can be used against me" while I browse for books.

      If the US government wants freedom to be "on the march" shouldn't we, as an example to the nations we wish to make free, be steadfast in preserving our own rights and freedoms? While the death of 4,000 on 9/11 was of course a tragedy and measures need to be taken to make us safer, is sacrificing freedom worth it? About 40,000 people die in car accidents every year, yet we don't have a "war on cars" that I am aware of, and I'm pretty sure in every state you can drive before you are legally an adult.

      Americans are still very emotional about 9/11, and will likely remain that way for years to come, just as it was with Pearl Harbor. However we can learn from history, and I tend to believe that perhaps half a century from now the PATRIOT Act will be viewed almost as negatively as the Japanese Internment after Pearl Harbor is viewed today.

      --

      "To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit." -Stephen Hawking

    18. Re:SAFE! by richie2000 · · Score: 4, Insightful
      it is entirely illegal to lie about it in court.

      Technically (which is what counts in court) he didn't lie. He asked beforehand what the phrase "sexual relations" was defined as, got the answer that it specifically meant intercourse and proceeded to tell the narrowly defined truth: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman". He omitted "She did suck my dick once and I did push a cigar up her pussy which I then proceeded to smoke with great pleasure, but y'all didn't ask about that, now did'ya?".

      Then again, it's more serious if the President almost lies about if he got a blowjob or not than if he lies to invade a sovereign nation, killing 100,000 ragheads and a few thousand GI Joes in the process.

      They just happened to be the ones he was stupid enough to utter under oath.

      Clinton is many things, but stupid isn't one of them. He's like a combination of Nixon's slickness, JFK's libido and the fiscal sense of FDR. Bush OTOH has Nixon's malice, no libido, no fiscal sense and Quayle's brainpower.

      --
      Money for nothing, pix for free
  2. Today Ashcroft by rbochan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Tomorrow Cheney!

    oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please

    --
    ...Rob
    The American Dream isn't an SUV and a house in the suburbs; it's Don't Tread On Me.
    1. Re:Today Ashcroft by superpulpsicle · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Not to be mean.... On one hand I want Bush to leave.

      On the other hand, I want to see Bush-voters who cheered "4 more years" to suffer financial & economical devastation. Nothing against you, but if you wanted a president who has more involvement in Iraq than your own country, you mind as well turn in your U.S. citizenship. Before you mod me down to -100, I am just fighting for the U.S middle class.

    2. Re:Today Ashcroft by deanj · · Score: 5, Insightful

      So says a fellow using the words "Go back to jesusland, redneck", showing exactly how seriously his opinion should be weighed.

    3. Re:Today Ashcroft by Rei · · Score: 4, Interesting

      What IRS stats do you refer to - Bahrain's? The middle class in America has been being soaked into the lower class. Don't believe me? Is the US Census Bureau good enough for you? Here's an article:

      http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/08/26/census.poverty. ap /

      "WASHINGTON (AP) -- The number of Americans living in poverty increased by 1.3 million last year, while the ranks of the uninsured swelled by 1.4 million, the Census Bureau reported Thursday."

      It was the third straight annual increase in a row under Bush. Just like during Reagan and Bush Sr., the wealthy have been doing very well, and the poor very poorly. And these numbers are actually worse than they sound, because many other expenses have been going up at the same time, largely due to administration policies (college tuitions due to state aid cuts, gas prices due to a tight reserve policy and the weak dollar policy (and that whole "invasion" thing), etc)

      A stable Iraq? What, you mean like there was BEFORE we made it a terrorist haven and gave the middle east a rallying cry?

      What if we had left Germany and France after World War II? You mean, we shouldn't leave countries that aren't resisting our occupation of them? Good idea! Now what are your ideas for countries that *are* resisting our occupation of them?

      --
      That's it, Mr. Giraffe, get all the marmalade.
    4. Re:Today Ashcroft by jemenake · · Score: 4, Insightful
      On the other hand, I want to see Bush-voters who cheered "4 more years" to suffer financial & economical devastation...
      I feel you, man.

      In Clinton's last year in office, the national debt actually went *down* (when adjusted for inflation) for the first time in ages... probably my lifetime or even longer. Then, during Bush's first term, it has skyrocketed. It has increased by almost 50% (*not* adjusted for inflation... but inflation isn't anywhere *near* 50% per 4 yrs.)!

      Every election season, there's a call to reduce the deficit, and it always seems to fall on deaf ears. I think that most Americans have no idea what it really is, but (because they keep hearing politicians mention it so much), tacitly agree that we need to keep it down. However, I think that their level of conviction to that belief ranks right up there with trying to not consume quite so much saturated fat and salt: "Yeah, yeah... I know... I need to cut down one of these days.".

      With this latest election, I think I'm finally giving up. So, this is where I agree with you. I think I'm now going to support any legislation or budget that swells the deficit even further. Up until now, I've been telling people that, if the deficit is left unchecked then, someday, the interest on the debt will be more than our total tax revenue... at which point, there will be no way to stop the meltdown. However, they all seem to look at me as though I'm talking about an asteroid hitting the earth. They've never experienced it happening, so they don't really believe that it *can* happen.

      Well.... okay. If it can't happen, then I have no qualms about bringing it about as soon as possible. I'll start moving my assets to a country with a sensible fiscal policy, and then we can start doing what we can to make sure that the national debt swells into a runaway freight train as soon as possible.

      And.... to be quite honest, I'm sincerely curious to see what *does* happen. Will the gov't default on all of its loans and have the dollar become worthless overseas, or will our own economy (and gov't, too) implode as well? - Joe
  3. does that mean... by ZiakII · · Score: 5, Funny

    does that mean i can take off my tinfoil hat?

    1. Re:does that mean... by josh3736 · · Score: 4, Funny
      Blastphemer!!!

      As most other tinfoil hat wearers are aware, the only reason Ashcroft has resigned is so he can catch a lift up to the mind-reading satellite and read your mind directly! It's all a part of their global domination plan.

      (Sadly, that last bit has some truth to it. [tinfoil hat securely back on])

  4. I'm Confused! by Steve+B · · Score: 4, Funny
    He gave Bush a five-page, handwritten letter in which he stated, 'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.

    I thought that it was the overthrow of Saddam Hussein that did that....

    --
    /. If the government wants us to respect the law, it should set a better example.
  5. He's encouraging criminals. by readpunk · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm going to commit crimes just to spite him.

    --

    ./revolution
    1. Re:He's encouraging criminals. by Ba3r · · Score: 5, Funny

      kazaa loading.....
      eDonkey loading...
      bitTorrent whirring...
      cds ripping...
      dvds burning...
      firefox running... oh wait, a couple months too early to call that illegal

    2. Re:He's encouraging criminals. by Barlo_Mung_42 · · Score: 4, Funny

      "I'm going to commit crimes just to spite him."

      I can top that. I'm going to have gay sex just to spite him.

    3. Re:He's encouraging criminals. by 808140 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Shhh. Everyone knows AIDS is a disease only faggots get. Didn't you get the memo?

      Good, god-fearing Americans abstain from casual sex. That's why information regarding birth control and condoms doesn't need to be taught in school.

      Yes, my friend, faggot-sex will be the end of America as we know it. Luckily, George Bush has a plan to save the butt pirates. Through love, Jesus Christ, and make-you-straight boot-camp, we will teach these homos to do what's right for America, Jesus, and themselves.

      Or we'll kill them, I guess. That works too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go watch NASCAR.

  6. We Won! by dasheiff · · Score: 5, Funny

    'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.'

    Yey we won! Now we can pull out of Iraq. No more airport security lines. I just hope W. can read script.

    1. Re:We Won! by Elizabeth007 · · Score: 5, Funny
      Hey, wait just a damned second here.

      I voted for that Bush guy because we weren't safe, and less than two weeks later we are?

      That was sarcasm. I swear.

  7. Huh? by Blue+Neon+Head · · Score: 4, Funny

    "The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved."

    Phew! Finally. Guess we don't need a DoJ anymore.

  8. Mission Accomplished by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful
    > 'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.'

    At what cost?

  9. Ashcroft by ZX81 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    In all honesty I can only say good riddance.

    It's almost unbelievable that the USA would allow him to work on bills such as the Patriot act.

    What I don't understand is why are you guys not protesting?

    Have you given up?

    --
    -={ Security does not exist - give up }=-
    1. Re:Ashcroft by danheskett · · Score: 5, Interesting

      It's not trendy to dissent on the Patriot Act around here, but probably a solid 90% of the bill accomplished SORELY needed reforms.

      There were literally hundreds of pathetic attempts to seperate government agencies for a no good reason.

      The rest of the bill that you hear so much about is what really burns most civil libertarians.

      Everyone should be asked to read the whole act at least once in their lives. Most people would be surprised how much stuff the government *couldn't* do that just made sense before hand.

    2. Re:Ashcroft by imuffin · · Score: 4, Informative

      Everyone should be asked to read the whole act at least once in their lives. Most people would be surprised how much stuff the government *couldn't* do that just made sense before hand.

      Well, according to Rep. Ron Paul of Texas, the members of congress weren't even allowed to read the PATRIOT act before voting on it.

      From the article:

      Paul confirms rumors circulating in Washington that this sweeping new law, with serious implications for each and every American, was not made available to members of Congress for review before the vote. "It's my understanding the bill wasn't printed before the vote -- at least I couldn't get it. They played all kinds of games, kept the House in session all night, and it was a very complicated bill. Maybe a handful of staffers actually read it, but the bill definitely was not available to members before the vote."

    3. Re:Ashcroft by Bob9113 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      but probably a solid 90% of the bill accomplished SORELY needed reforms.

      If I were offered a drink that was 90% fruit juice and vitamins, and 10% stricnine, I would choose not to drink it.

    4. Re:Ashcroft by LMariachi · · Score: 4, Funny

      Or what if someone offered you an analogy that was 90% bullshit and 10% stupid? Or maybe vice-versa...

  10. Will Bush appoint a more conservative replacement? by mind21_98 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Is it possible that Bush will appoint a more conservative replacement for Ashcroft? That's been the danger, especially since up to four Supreme Court positions may open up this term. How would a more conservative Attorney General affect the US?

  11. And now Bush has his first Nominee by Marxist+Hacker+42 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    For the Supreme Court...

    --
    SJW: a person who perceives an injustice, and while correcting it, commits a greater injustice.
    1. Re:And now Bush has his first Nominee by stinerman · · Score: 5, Funny

      Don't you dare joke about things like that.

    2. Re:And now Bush has his first Nominee by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Umm, shouldn't a Supreme Court justice actually have spent some time being a judge? Seems unlikely you'd be able to ram a prosecutor through...Asscroft has no qualifications for the job other than being a religious right wackjob.

    3. Re:And now Bush has his first Nominee by thisissilly · · Score: 4, Informative

      Nope, only requirement for being on the supreme court is for the President of the US to nominate you, and be confirmed by the Senate.

      IIRC, if you look back at history you will find several ex-state governers were made Supreme Court Justices.

  12. Uncover those breasts! by SmilingMonk · · Score: 4, Funny

    Set them free. Freedom is a good thing, right? :-)

  13. Re:Will Bush appoint a more conservative replaceme by darnok · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hear there's a former Iraqi Information Minister who's still looking for a job.

  14. Horray! Now he'll be free for his true passion... by Disperz · · Score: 5, Funny

    I for one can't wait for his music career to jump off!
    "LET THE EAGLE SOAR, LIKE SHE'S NEVER SOARN BEFORE!"
    http://www.cnn.com/video/us/2002/02/25/a shcroft.si ngs.wbtv.med.html

    --
    Do you see how my mind works? It's like a laser!
  15. Re:I Don't follow politics much .. by eln · · Score: 4, Informative

    He resigned because of health problems and exhaustion. Apparently he has been having various medical difficulties over the past year or so. I don't think this one was Bush's decision.

  16. Self-fulfilling prophecy by jinxidoru · · Score: 5, Funny

    'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.'

    Am I correct in assuming that his resignation is what is bringing this achievement to pass?

  17. As well as secure us from sex, drugs and P2P by isolation · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Thank God. I wish Ashcroft could read this.

    I am a Christain and a Conservative and I am glad to see him gone. His record on states rights vs federal law proves that the current administration cares nothing about the will of the people and only about the power of Federal law. I dont want the state coming in and telling me what I can and can't put in to my body or who I can have sex with. I could just see this guy dragging homosexuals in if the amendment had passed. I dont want the state to come in to my marrage or a gay marrage anymore than I want the state to come in to my relationship with God.

    This guy got his rocks off dragging people in to court over matters that should never have been law in the first place.

    See you around John.....

    --
    Free Unix? Free Windows. http://www.reactos.com
    1. Re:As well as secure us from sex, drugs and P2P by back_pages · · Score: 4, Insightful
      I wish I had mod points. I'm not a Christian and these days, I'm apparently not a Conservative (not trying to be flippant, I just wish we could stick to the Constitution) but it's nice to hear a self-identified Christian Conservative recognize the dissonance between that political stance and certain aspects of the Bush administration.

      I don't have mod points, but you got my respect.

  18. LOL by John+Seminal · · Score: 5, Funny
    He gave Bush a five-page, handwritten letter in which he stated, 'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.

    And Bush had to have someone read it to him.

    --

    Rosco: "If brains were gunpowder, Enos couldn't blow his nose."

  19. two thoughts spring to mind by way2trivial · · Score: 4, Funny
    the humor, 1- "He gave Bush a five-page, handwritten letter in which he stated, 'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.'" the fact that it was addressed to the receipient it was- makes this an oxymoron...

    the serious 2- I recall a quote attributed to the then director of the patent office, requesting the patent office be closed, as all concieveable inventions had been made.. both the quote and the historical snip I give seem to have a spooky similarity

    --
    every day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
  20. A good thing by ravenspear · · Score: 5, Funny

    The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.

    Does that mean the Patriot Act can be repealed now?

  21. We're saved! by mcmonkey · · Score: 5, Insightful
    'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.'

    So they figured out how anthrax from US Army labs was mailed to various members of congress and media outlets, and captured those responsible?

    Oh...they haven't done that, eh?

    Well, at least gays can't marry.

  22. great by nizo · · Score: 4, Funny

    I knew I should have hurried up with my idea for a four horsemen of the apocolypse t-shirt, now one of the horsemen has resigned....

  23. Re:Ashcroft wasn't so bad by John+Seminal · · Score: 5, Insightful
    You know, when you look back Ashcroft wasn't so bad. He turned the FBI around and changed its mission radically.

    Yeah, he did change the FBI. They no longer need search warrents, and they have no respect of our civil liberties. If you ask me, he damaged the USA. We were a more free people before he came to power. And don't forget, Ashcroft was the guy who lost his senate seat because the people of his state elected a dead guy rather than have 6 more years of him.

    --

    Rosco: "If brains were gunpowder, Enos couldn't blow his nose."

  24. Re:Today Ashcroft...Tomorrow Justice Ashcroft by Dante333 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Your thinking short term. Now that he isn't a AG, he can be a SCJ.

  25. What a day! by The+Hobo · · Score: 5, Funny

    1) Firefox 1.0 Released
    2) Halo 2 Released
    3) John Ashcroft Resigns
    4).... Profit!!!

    What a day it's been!

    --
    There is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men. -- Boondock Saints
    1. Re:What a day! by PMuse · · Score: 4, Funny

      This is one of those days when there's only one thing you can say: Praise the Lord.

      --
      "We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals." --The American President (20.1.2009)
    2. Re:What a day! by Alsee · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I don't understand why everyone's celebrating Asscroft leaving.

      Who the hell does everyone think Bush is going to replace him with? Michael Moore??

      -

      --
      - - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
    3. Re:What a day! by deltagreen · · Score: 4, Interesting
      You seem to be right in your concerns. According to CNN and Associated Press, the new Attorney General might be Alberto Gonzales. From the AP-article:
      Gonzales has been at the center of developing Bush's positions on balancing civil liberties with waging the war on terrorism - opening the White House counsel to the same line of criticism that has dogged Ashcroft.

      For instance, Gonzales publicly defended the administration's policy - essentially repudiated by the Supreme Court and now being fought out in the lower courts - of detaining certain terrorism suspects for extended periods without access to lawyers or courts.

      He also wrote a controversial February 2002 memo in which Bush claimed the right to waive anti-torture law and international treaties providing protections to prisoners of war. That position drew fire from human rights groups, which said it helped led to the type of abuses uncovered in the Abu Ghraib prison scandal.
      He certainly doesn't sound any better than Ashcroft.
  26. Ashcroft was a HORRIBLE Attourney General by TrentL · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Before 9/11, Ashcroft's top priority was targetting pornography. Since 9/11, he has been embarassingly ineffective in capturing terrorists.

  27. Re:*more* conservative? by tji · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ashcroft ensured our safety by covering the breasts of statues in the justice department.

    His more radically conservative replacement will complete this initiative, furthering American safety, by requiring burkas for all female statues.

  28. Hey does this mean... by TiggertheMad · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...That I get to see lady Justice's boobie again?

    That may be worth a trip to D.C. for that alone!

    --

    HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
  29. Re:Will Bush appoint a more conservative replaceme by stinerman · · Score: 4, Informative

    Whoa ... Stalin was an authoritarian communist. Probably the complete opposite of what is considered "conservative".

    Take a look at http://www.politicalcompass.org

  30. Re:Good Riddance by Trurl's+Machine · · Score: 5, Interesting

    You are most certainly wrong. I'm not even sure if Palmer was the worst one. With all due (dis)respect to Mr Ashcroft, nothing even remotely like Palmer Raids happened during his tenure. Palmer was the key factor behind the 1917 and 1918 "Espionage Act" and "Sedition Act", comparing to which Patriot Act is a teddy bear. According to this law, an elected member of Congress was refused a seat because of his pacifist views - and sentenced to 20 years of prison just because he didn't believe that America should join the slaughter of World War I (more on Victor Berger you can find here. The Palmer Raids themselves rendered the question of American "constitutional rights" simply irrelevant - it appeared there were none of them. To quote Wikipedia:

    Starting on November 7, 1919, Palmer's men smashed union offices and the headquarters of Communist and Socialist organizations without warrants, concentrating on foreigners. They arrested over 10,000 people (...) In January, 1920, another 6,000 were arrested, mostly members of the anarcho-syndicalist union Industrial Workers of the World. During one of the raids, more than 4,000 Communists were rounded up in a single night. All foreign aliens caught were deported.

    The public reaction to these raids was favorable, stirring up a storm of anti-communist sentiment. In a murder eerily similar to the lynching of Germans during World War I, a group of young men in Centralia, Washington hanged a radical from a railway bridge. The coroner's report stated that the communist "jumped off with a rope around his neck and then shot himself full of holes." For most of 1919, the public seemed to side with Palmer.


    I don't want to defend Bush & Ashcroft, but it's simply naive to see them as "the worst that happened". No, it's not the worst in American history. When you look on the whole American history it turns out that only the post-WWII period really resembles contemporary understanding of constitutional democracy (and even then there were authoritarian hiccups of McCarthyism or Watergate).

  31. Successor? by cnsc1rtr · · Score: 5, Informative
    from The Yahoo News/AP story:
    Speculation about a successor to Ashcroft has centered on his former deputy, Larry Thompson, who recently took a job as general counsel at PepsiCo. If appointed, Thompson would be the nation's first black attorney general. Others prominently mentioned include Bush's 2004 campaign chairman, former Montana Gov. Marc Racicot, and White House general counsel Alberto Gonzales.
    [...]
    Washington continued to buzz with speculation about the futures of Secretary of State Colin Powell and Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld.
    [...]
    Condoleezza Rice, the president's national security adviser, is considered a possible successor for either Rumsfeld or Powell. She has let it be known that she does not want to remain in her current role in the second term, and officials say her path is up or out. Rice said a year ago she wasn't interested in getting enmeshed in the bureaucracy at the State Department, but aides don't rule that out now, particularly with prospects for change in the Middle East.

  32. 5 page letter? by danielacroft · · Score: 5, Funny

    "He gave Bush a five-page, handwritten letter in which he stated, 'The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.'"

    I hope he attached an audio book version to the letter.

    --
    Something intruiging...
    1. Re:5 page letter? by eclectro · · Score: 5, Funny


      Actually it's five pages because he had to use a crayon.

      --
      Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
  33. Re:Will Bush appoint a more conservative replaceme by Java+Ape · · Score: 4, Funny
    Is it possible that Bush will appoint a more conservative replacement for Ashcroft?

    No, Ashcroft is moving to the bereau of weights and measures to serve as the standard of "Absolute Conservative". As such, it is impossible to appoint a more conservative replacement.

    Doubtless, Bush will attempt to redefine the "Absolute Conservative" standard when selecting Ashcroft's replacement, but experts agree that he's likely to appoint a "Facist Extremist" by mistake.

  34. Yes, completely out of context! by Wakko+Warner · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The entire text of the letter is here.

    Taken out of context, it loses very little. The man claims we've beaten both crime and terrorism.

    Have we?

    - A.P.

    --
    "Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
    1. Re:Yes, completely out of context! by a+whoabot · · Score: 4, Insightful

      That's your objection? "He's obviously talking about the objective!" Of course he's talking about "the objective." That's what he actually fucking said: "The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved." You don't have to say "it is obvious": it actually is. But then you go on to say what "the objective is." He says what the objective is: "the objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror." You don't have to offer your intepretation of what "the objective" is friend, he tells you right there what it is. Quit trying to precariously argue for the existence of the "liberal bias" the foam-mouthed AC above(probably you) reflexively screamed out.

      The paragraph:

      "The demands of justice are both rewarding and depleting. I take great personal satisfaction in the record which has been developed. The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved. The rule of law has been strengthened and upheld in the courts. Yet, I believe that the Department of Justice would be well served by new leadership and fresh inspiration. I believe that my energies and talents should be directed toward other challenging horizons."

      Wether he actually meant what he said is another thing. Which I don't care about one way or the other. Useless politics...

  35. Sadly by fluxrad · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Tomorrow it's almost certainly Colin Powell. There is general agreement that he will leave, having been forced into an outsider's viewpoint by the ranks of the neoconservative faction of the Bush administration, i.e. Rumsfeld, Cheney, and Wolfowitz to name just a few.

    While I am absolutely elated that Ashcroft has resigned, I have no doubt that we will most certainly see four more years of the same foreign policy that has dogged the US since Bush's first inauguration. That, combined with the fact that Ashcroft has already done significant domestic damage viz. the PATRIOT act paints a rather bleak picture for the US in the coming years - even if the inside players are different.

    The stage has already been set.

    --
    "It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once." -David Hume
  36. Re:Ashcroft wasn't so bad by Catbeller · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Reno let the rabid dogs have a special prosecutor, who spent seventy millions bucks to mount an impeachment fishing expedition. What else would you want?? JEEZ.

    And it all came up empty.

    Now Aschroft? Snatched defeat from the claws of victory, and completely let Microsoft walk after it was convicted, fried, toasted by the Reno Justice Department. Dragged his heels on the Enron investigation -- helped Bush run interference as the billions were stolen. Slow-walked the Valerie Plame treason investigation past the election. Didn't investigate massive election interference in both 2000 and now 2004. Let the Pubs walk on using Homeland Security apparatus to interfere in the Texas redistricting. Won't instruct Bush to comply with the Supreme Court's stunning orders to let the concentration camp prisoners have access to a fair trial - they are ignoring the law of the land and performing show trials. He rammed the Patriot act into law, effectively repealing at least three ammendments in the Bill of Rights.

    And the FBI was gutted by Freeh, the Clinton appointee who turned for the impeachment elves and committed 50 full time agents to investigating Clinton's sex lives while Al Queda was moving into position. Freeh "reformed" the FBI by eliminating an entire middle level of analysts, and "streamlining" the flow of information from below into the executive offices - ie, him. The warning from field agents were ignored because experienced analysts no longer existed to read the damned reports.

    The FBI was "changed around" by Freeh. I doubt much that Ashcroft did didley to restore the analysts back to duty. Waht Bush/Ashcroft are doing, really, is to make every information asset we have responsible to and report to the executive, ie Bush. Not only do we not have the middle level of analysts back, we instead have a pack of political true-believers distilling info for the President's consumption. It's a wreck.

    His resignation was rumored for over a year. no surprise. However, his replacement will be much worse.

  37. Re:Will Bush appoint a more conservative replaceme by ajakk · · Score: 4, Informative
    Giuliani has all of qualifications:
    • Went to prestigous law school
    • Clerked for a federal judge (S.D.N.Y.)
    • Worked as an assistant U.S. Attorney
    • Worked as an executive U.S. Attorney
    • Worked as a full U.S. Attorney
    • Was Associate Deputy Attorney General
    • Was the Associate Attorney General (third highest position in the DoJ)
    • Well liked by members of both parties
    • Track record of being extremely tough on crime
  38. I not a religious man, but... by the_mushroom_king · · Score: 5, Funny

    Halle-FUCKING-lujah!!

  39. Stalking horse by daveo0331 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    It's unlikely that Ashcroft would make it onto the Supreme Court, but Bush might use him as a stalking horse. Nominate him, watch the country go crazy, watch the Democrats use up all their time and political capital fighting off Ashcroft... then when everyone is worn out from blocking the Ashcroft nomination, Bush appoints a relative unknown who turns out to be as bad or worse.

    The Democrats need to watch out for this, and keep up the resistance against anyone on the right wing that Bush tries to put on the Court. We still have 45 seats in the Senate, that's enough for a filibuster. The ability to filibuster is there for a reason -- to stop a President and 51 Senators (or in this case 55) from the same party from putting an extremist on the Supreme Court. The Democrats need to make sure Bush comes up with nominees that are at lease somewhat moderate.

    --
    Remember the days when Republicans were the party of fiscal responsibility?
    1. Re:Stalking horse by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

      Ashcroft may have suppored the USAPA, but he didn't enact it.

      Again, HE WROTE IT.

      Over 90% of the words in the act are directly from his office and most of that directly from his hand.

      Yeah, he also "supported it" by scaremongering congress into enacting it without even reading it.

      In any rational examination that makes him PRIMARILY responsible. All the others are just contributory infringers. They may have abrogated their power to him, but he did not turn it down and still brags of his actions today.

    2. Re:Stalking horse by Rei · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Wait, are you going to pretend that he *hasn't* been one of the most "activist" attorney generals in recent history? From trying to overturn Oregon's ballot-initiative-created assisted suicide law, to doing the same sort of thing with California's medical marijuana law, to dredging up an obscure 1872 law to bring a case against a nonviolent greenpeace protest 15 months after the fact, to coming up with the "secret detention/secret trials" nonsense, to pretending to be the Supreme Court in declaring that the justice department has no authority over most cases of gun control regulation due to the second amendment, to *drafting*, using USDOJ resources the USA-PATRIOT Act, and then using government funds to go on a *cross-country tour* to promote it?

      He's not just a postmodern bureaucrat. He's a bloody nihilist.

      --
      That's it, Mr. Giraffe, get all the marmalade.
    3. Re:Stalking horse by Rei · · Score: 4, Informative

      Oh please yourself. Ashcroft *did* have the DOJ write the Patriot Act, and its principal author was the assistant attorney general Viet D. Dinh. Who did you think wrote it?

      --
      That's it, Mr. Giraffe, get all the marmalade.
    4. Re:Stalking horse by Rei · · Score: 4, Informative

      *Sigh* - where do you get this stuff? Newsmax? Washington Times? Try doing some work for yourself, will you?

      http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d107:SN0 15 10:@@@S

      STATUS: (color indicates Senate actions)
      10/4/2001:
      Introduced in the Senate. Read the first time. Placed on Senate Legislative Calendar under Read the First Time. (text of measure as introduced: CR S10307-10333)
      10/9/2001:
      Read the second time. Placed on Senate Legislative Calendar under General Orders. Calendar No. 187.
      10/11/2001:
      Measure laid before Senate. (consideration: CR S10547-10630)
      10/11/2001:
      S.AMDT.1899 Amendment SA 1899 proposed by Senator Feingold. (consideration: CR S10570-10575; text: CR S10570)
      To make amendments to the provision relating to interception of computer trespasser communications.
      10/11/2001:
      S.AMDT.1899 Motion to table amendment SA 1899 agreed to in Senate by Yea-Nay Vote. 83 - 13. Record Vote Number: 299.
      10/11/2001:
      S.AMDT.1900 Amendment SA 1900 proposed by Senator Feingold. (consideration: CR S10575-10577; text: CR S10575)
      To limit the roving wiretap authority under FISA.
      10/11/2001:
      S.AMDT.1900 Motion to table amendment SA 1900 agreed to in Senate by Yea-Nay Vote. 90 - 7. Record Vote Number: 300.
      10/11/2001:
      S.AMDT.1901 Amendment SA 1901 proposed by Senator Feingold. (consideration: CR S10583-10586; text: CR S10583)
      To modify the provisions relating to access to business records under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978.
      10/11/2001:
      S.AMDT.1901 Motion to table amendment SA 1901 agreed to in Senate by Yea-Nay Vote. 89 - 8. Record Vote Number: 301.
      10/11/2001:
      Passed Senate without amendment by Yea-Nay Vote. 96 - 1. Record Vote Number: 302. (text of bill as passed Senate: CR S10604-10630)
      10/30/2001:
      Senate vitiated previous passage.
      10/30/2001:
      Indefinitely postponed by Senate by Unanimous Consent. (consideration: CR S11247)

      Note something that's missing? You guessed it - the complete addition of a new section (securing our borders). it was *already there*. Kerry voted *against* the amendments listed.

      Here is section IV of the bill *AS SUBMITTED* to the senate:

      http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/F?r107:1:./t em p/~r107BHdfjx:e359387:
      http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi- bin/query/F?r107:1:./tem p/~r107BHdfjx:e371105:
      http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi- bin/query/F?r107:1:./tem p/~r107BHdfjx:e382616:

      You people are incorrigible.

      --
      That's it, Mr. Giraffe, get all the marmalade.
  40. Five Words for You by onosendai · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Better the devil you know ..

    --
    <? include ('signature.inc'); ?>
  41. Re:*more* conservative? by bladernr · · Score: 5, Funny
    Listen to Savage Nation once in a while (for as long as you can stand it) to find someone you can really label 'radical.'

    Want a Democratic majority in this country? Make all Republicans listen to Mike Savage for a solid 4 hours. 90% of Republicans would think "THIS GUY is on my side?" and switch sides.

    (No I'm not kidding. How many Republicans really agree with those talk-radio whack-jobs?)

    Of course, I could also make 90% of Democrats become Republicans by making them listen to Air America for a day. You think the ring-wing guys are paraniod tin-foil hatters? Listen to Air America for a while.

    That's the beautiful thing about American politics: I can choose either major party and be guaranteed to be in horrible company.

    --
    Sarcasm and hyperbole are the final refuges for weak minds
  42. Yeah, the US is much safer. by jotaeleemeese · · Score: 4, Insightful

    After arresting scores of innocent people at the instigation of this and other war criminals and convicting the big amount of 0, zero, zilch, nada of activities related to terrorism.

    In one case the damning evidence was a video of the alleged terrorists spending time in Disneyland.

    And the only ones the neo-ayatollahs have any hope of "convicting" of any terrorism related activities they have safely guarded them in Guantanamo or Abu Gharib, were confessions can be conviniently extracted at the pleasure of the torturers and kangoroo courts will sentence in accordance to the public, on record wishes of the reelected Orwellian master overlord.

    And the poster of the article still has the indecency to find something good to say about this individual.

    --
    IANAL but write like a drunk one.
  43. Some thoughts on Ashcroft by kbahey · · Score: 4, Interesting

    This is too late in the discussion, but I just saw it a little while ago and Ashcroft strikes a nerve. So here goes.

    Ashcroft reminds me of Ministers of Interiors in Third World dictatorships. He is a tool for the dictator and the regime, and not there for his main job, that is protect the people.

    His argument that he did achieve his objectives in protecting America from crime and terror is much like the guy who sprayed pepper on his front lawn, to ward off elephants. When his neighbor told him there are no elephants here, he says : "See! It works!"

    Not a single case in the past 3 years was prosecuted successfully as a terrorism case, with conviction. All of the high profile arrests where Aschroft made press conferences with huge pomp, touting them as major victories in the war on terrorism, are just for show. For example, the Lakawanna Six (Buffalo, NY) Yemeni-Americans all pleaded to lesser charges and were convicted. The case of the African American bunch in Oregon is similar. The same goes for the Holy Land Foundation in Texas, and other Muslim charity cases. Most cases that Ashcroft said to be terrorism end up getting convictions for immigration irregularities or ID fraud (SSN, Driver License, Food Stamps, ...etc.). No terrorism at all, except the constant drumming up of fear in the masses, and no one remembers what happened to the poor souls who got caught and made examples of.

    Of course, the Patriot Act, Secret Evidence, and the eroding civil liberties that goes with it, is exactly what is wrong, since terrorists have achieved an objective with these things.

    There are other incidents that show his short comings as well, such as making a big deal of a statue with the bare breast, his fundamentalist view, him attacking Islam while in office, and more.

    Someone should really make up a web site about Ashcroft Watch or something, lest people forget all this.

    Well, his letter of resignation says "I believe that my energies and talents should be directed toward other challenging horizons." What does that mean? Is a Supreme Court Justice position waiting for him (despite the poster above who said that it has to be someone with judge qualifications)?

  44. Ashcroft wasn't always a civil liberties foe by hawkestein · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Remember the Clipper chip? Ashcroft sided with the ACLU in opposing it. Even more ironically, Kerry supported it.

    --
    -- Will quantum computers run imaginary-time operating systems?
  45. Your rights shot to hell by wurp · · Score: 4, Insightful

    *One time* foreign terrorists killed 3000 people in the US. It's a terrible tragedy, but so are the 45,000 people who died in car accidents that year. And the 700,000 people who died of heart disease.

    We have gone insanely overboard in how we handle terrorism. America is founded on the freedom of the people. So much so that these freedoms are written into our founding document - the Constitution. When someone tells me that we need to "protect America" from something that had a negligible statistical effect by taking away my Constitutional rights, I'll rightly tell them they're stupid, crazy, or very ignorant.

    1st amendment - "right of the people peaceably to assemble" - except near the Republican National Convention in 2004.

    4th amendment - "no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause" - except when the Patriot Act says it's OK.

    5th amendment - "nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law" - except if we can find some way to call them enemy combatants, or we declare they can't be tried publicly due to security considerations.

    6th amendment - "accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial" - see above.

    8th amendment - "nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted" - except in Abu Ghraib, or (maybe, how can we know?) Guantanamo.

    10th amendment - "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people." - this one's been shot to hell for ages :-(

    If I tried to live by the Constitution, I'd end up shot by federal agents inside of five years.

  46. Re:your own link disagrees with you by Fnkmaster · · Score: 5, Insightful

    And literally "liberal" means "1. not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry; 2. Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded".

    Now try to imagine the type of person that reads that definition and says "nope, that's not me at all", or even worse, thinks that word should be used as an insult. And you get an inkling of what's wrong with America.

  47. 5 Page Handwritten Letter? by victor_the_cleaner · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Does anybody else think a five page handwritten letter sounds a bit psychotic?

  48. On the contrary... by Onan · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The compartmentalization of agencies was most certainly not for no good reason. It was to make law enforcement less effective, which was a good and important goal of our governmental design.

    The thing that Mr. Ashcroft and the rest of the executive branch have forgotten is that we need to be at least as suspicious and limiting of our government as of the people from whom our government is supposedly protecting us. Instead, the executive branch has taken the absurd view that their enemies are "Evil", and thus that their own actions are--definitionally--Good.

    This is a dangerous premise. History has taught us that governments very reliably stray from Good. Every single act undertaken by a government must be carefully evaluated with questions like, "Does this make us the bad guys? Is this worse than what we're trying to solve?" And even after such questions have been asked, we need to still assume that they've been answered incorrectly, and place harsh limitations on the fundamental things a government can do.

    This is the origin of bans on interdepartmental cooperation, statutes of limitation, limitations on search and siezure, the specificity of of search warrants, and so on. After all, if your government were always the good guys, you wouldn't need any such protections, right?

  49. Re:Misson Accomplished!! by slinky259 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm not even going to bother trying to understand that...

    Ok... I concede defeat. Major combat operations have ended on Slashdot... (crosses fingers)

    I was just passing along the dinnertime conversation - apparently no one in my family has done their research.

    ~stephen

  50. Resigning To Focus On Core Responsibilities by MooseByte · · Score: 4, Funny

    "well, he's just now resigning...."

    Clearly due to the fact that his stint as Attorney General was interfering with his duties as Sith Lord.

  51. Re:Misson Accomplished!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Let's see now:

    On the one hand, an AP report by someone who did the research, tracked the documentation, talked to the people most directly involved,

    VERSUS

    A /. submission that he said that he heard over dinner from his friend that HE heard...

    WHO DO I BELIEVE? PLEASE, GOD HELP ME, WHO DO I BELIEVE?

  52. Re:This whole article should stop now. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    Godwin is watching.

    Yeah, he can be a real thread Nazi.

    Oops, here come the Godwin Nazis to shutt me up.

    Oops. Here come the Spelling Nazis to correct me error above.

    Oops. Here come the Grammar Nazis to correct the error following the last error.

    Oops. Here come the joke Nazis to say i should have stopped after the first line.

    Oops. Here come the /. Nazis to say this would be much funnier if it had a 1)? 2)? 3)Profit! in it somewhere.

    Oops. Here... I give up. Call me France. I surrender.

  53. Re:Misson Accomplished!! by gowen · · Score: 4, Informative
    Well, lets read what Bush said while standing under that banner:
    "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed."
    Must be reassuring to the USMC presently in Fallujah that what they're doing isn't a major combat operation.

    Because it looks like one to me.
    --
    Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.