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New Video Game Recreates Kennedy Assassination

theodp writes "Lee Harvey Oswald-wannabes will be able to simulate the assassination of President John F. Kennedy when Traffic Games releases the $9.99 JFK Reloaded on Monday to coincide with the 41st anniversary of Kennedy's murder in Dallas. 'It is despicable,' said a spokesman for Massachusetts Sen. Edward Kennedy, the late president's brother."

41 of 832 comments (clear)

  1. Sequel ideas? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I for one am looking forward to "Chappaquiddick II: The Game"

    1. Re:Sequel ideas? by earthforce_1 · · Score: 5, Funny

      To be followed by the JFK Junior Flight Simulator game.

      --
      My rights don't need management.
    2. Re:Sequel ideas? by Class+Act+Dynamo · · Score: 4, Funny

      How about a Grover Cleveland related game in which you try to see how many activities you can do twice on non-consecutive occasions?

      --
      My other computer is a Jacquard loom.
    3. Re:Sequel ideas? by roseblood · · Score: 3, Funny

      To be followed by the JFK Junior Flight Simulator game

      Or perhaps a Senator Kennedy Driving game. Extra points awarded the further you can distance yourself from the body of the woman you just killed [politicaly as well as physicaly.]

      --
      There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
  2. I'm suprised to be agreeing.. by jcr · · Score: 4, Funny

    with Teddy Kennedy on *anything*, but this is in very poor taste.

    -jcr

    --
    The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
    1. Re:I'm suprised to be agreeing.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Nobody said anything about eating the game.

  3. Well... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hopefully it isn't this company and a Kennedy impersonator.

  4. Awww.... by empee · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was hoping for a game that would let me recreate the beers that were thrown at Ron Artest on Friday night.

  5. Oswald. by TrevorB · · Score: 4, Funny

    Campers. Bastards. The lot of them.

  6. My question is... by SnprBoB86 · · Score: 4, Funny

    How can this possibly be $10 worth of entertainment? How can this be worth anything?

    I get to shoot one guy, four times? If that costs $10 bucks, I owe Bungie about 180 billion dollars.

    --
    http://brandonbloom.name
  7. weeeee by kaje103 · · Score: 5, Funny

    oh boy oh boy.. I can't wait until they make a simulation of Clinton in the Oval Office. Mission: Hit the mouth Fire torpedo one! The dress was hit, I repeat the dress was hit! Game Over

    1. Re:weeeee by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I can't wait until they make one of Bush's resolve. The towers are hit! Read the book! Read the book!

      Shoot the Iraqi civilians!

  8. Bush Version by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    When does the Bush version come out?

  9. Nintendo Power Classified Information by Gary+Yogurt · · Score: 4, Funny

    Press "back and to the left, back and to the left" on the controller after the Traffic Games logo for an extra shooter!

  10. see if you too have the skills to beat the rap! by taxman_10m · · Score: 5, Funny

    or drive Mary Jo home... which is less fun.

  11. Change history... by MrDyrden · · Score: 5, Funny

    Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start JFK now has 30 lives!

  12. Multiplayer Sequel by LeiGong · · Score: 4, Funny

    The hear the multiplayer sequel lets your friends play as the shooters on the grassy knoll!

  13. Coming soon from the same developer... by Zhe+Mappel · · Score: 5, Funny
    Die, Liberal, Die!

    You'll throw the switch on an electric chair holding a convicted baby-butchering doctor in this educational look at both sides of the abortion debate. Learn all about electric current, too.

    Take Dat, Bitch!

    Use a crowbar on a conniving hooker before the jury rejects her opportunistic criminal complaint against you. The game has been designed to debunk phony assault charges; after all, she's a hooker.

    Voterator

    Install and, with the help of a bottle of Windex and a micro-fiber cloth, debug the latest U.S. touchscreen polling machines. Can a vote here or there go awry? Find out when your candidate enjoys late surges in the opposition's key districts!

  14. Re:Whats wrong? by Boronx · · Score: 5, Funny

    And yet a large minority of the players devote their time to knifing hapless newbs.

  15. Firefox RSS feed Live Bookmark misleading by robotoverflow · · Score: 5, Funny

    "New Video Game Recreates Kennedy Ass..."

    --
    % mkdir :
    % ls -dF :
    :/
  16. The latest Flash ad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Kill JFK and win a FREEEE iPod!

  17. Tikka to Ride by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Let me be the first to suggest that it was, in fact, JFK who travelled back in time to shoot himself from the Grassy Knoll in order to right history.

    I believe it was the show's final gasp of genius before a quick jump over the shark.

  18. Re:Couple thoughts. by kurgan_cyberdude · · Score: 1, Funny

    No matter what you do, you can't recreate the assignation since the bullets come from different directions?

    Definition of assignation: a secret rendezvous (especially between lovers).

    So you're saying JFK and Lee Harvey had something going on we didn't know about?

    --
    -- In a World without Walls and Fences, who needs Windows and Gates? --
  19. My monitor stopped working after first shot by jayveekay · · Score: 2, Funny

    Was I doing it wrong? I put my monitor 10 feet outside my window (as far as the cable would reach), ran the sim, then started shooting with my .22 from the windowsill. Was I supposed to use a special bulletproof monitor? Darn these realistic sims can be expensive!

  20. Off Topic by killerface · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yes, But does it run linux?

  21. Re:Doesn't Sound Fun to Me by ceeam · · Score: 4, Funny

    Huh! Imagine when on higher levels there are HUNDREDS! of limos with Kennedies rushing at you! Like in old arcades.

  22. UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT A B SECLECT START by roseblood · · Score: 5, Funny

    incase you want to get an extra shooter on the grassy knoll.

    --
    There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
    1. Re:UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT A B SECLECT START by Guppy06 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Wrong game. For this, the code is:

      back, and to the left.

  23. Question by ceeam · · Score: 3, Funny

    When the GWB mod is due out?

  24. Re:So, what about... by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 4, Funny

    Thats a great idea. Concentration Camp Tycoon, from the makers of rollercoaster tycoon and railroad tycoon. I can see it selling just about as well as lemonade tycoon...

    No, silly. It's called Sim-Camp. Getting started is easy- just follow the steps below and you'll have your concentration camp up and running in no time.

    Step 1 -- Build an Incinerator
    Every camp needs an incinerator to dispose of the bodies of its victims. To build an incinerator, click on the Incinerator tool, then click on an empty area of the map. (Note: If the smoke from your incinerator is not animating, the game is probably paused. Choose a game speed to start the smoke animating.)

    Step 2 -- Add Zones
    Zones are areas that you designate for different kinds of buildings in your compound. The people who will be enslaved in your camp need to live in Residential Zones, work in Industrial Zones, and die in Disposal Zones. Place each zone type on the city map near the incinerator.

    Step 3 -- Build Railways
    The residents will need some way to arrive in your camp from the rest of the Reich. Place some Railways along the sides of your zones. Now that the zones in your camp have transportation, you should see your death camp slowly come to life. Congratulations! You've created your first concentration camp -- you may now call yourself "Kamp Kommandant!"

  25. Enjoy by Anenga · · Score: 4, Funny

    The SS at your door.

  26. Re:Doesn't Sound Fun to Me by Ohreally_factor · · Score: 4, Funny

    And finally, a gigantic limo drives up, with a humongous Kennedy.

    --
    It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
  27. Damn Conspiracy theorists... by PsiPsiStar · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... keep trying to make this a multi-player game.

    --

    ___
    It's the end of my comment as I know it and I feel fine.
  28. Re:Doesn't Sound Fun to Me by rleibman · · Score: 4, Funny

    There's already a humongous Kennedy. He senates for Massachussets.

  29. What!!!!????? by JollyFinn · · Score: 2, Funny

    Oh no they killed Kennyde.

    --
    Emacs is good operating system, but it has one flaw: Its text editor could be better.
  30. New theories for JFK tinfoilers by tod_miller · · Score: 3, Funny

    By analysing the information gained from the release of the game, we now believe that:

    "The killer grenade jumped the parade, and bunny hopped across to a grassy knoll where it spray pained a clan logo before shouting 'j1h4d l0l rotflmao gg' and then using an aimbot to assassinate JFK.... the final words of the killer before police emptied the munitions budget of a small state into him was: k1ll4h dropped - connection reset by peer"

    Games.

    --
    #hostfile 0.0.0.0 primidi.com 0.0.0.0 www.primidi.com 0.0.0.0 radio.weblogs.com
  31. Dubya character?! by b374 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Where can I download a Dubya mod/character?

  32. networked? by jthayden · · Score: 2, Funny

    Doesn't this need to be a networked game? I mean I can't be in the book depository and the grassy knoll at the same time.

  33. Any modding support? by manifoldronin · · Score: 2, Funny

    I can't wait to see some mod that switches JFK's face to you-know-who's.

    --
    Tyranny isn't the worst enemy of a democracy. Cynicism is.
  34. despicable by t_allardyce · · Score: 2, Funny

    'It is despicable,' said a spokesman for Massachusetts Sen. Edward Kennedy, the late president's brother.

    Hes probably right, im gonna bet the graphics will be pretty bad and will still need decent hardware, the game play won't be up to much either, its despicable the way games are going, what happend to good gameplay?

    --
    This comment does not represent the views or opinions of the user.
  35. JFK2004 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    j0hNnY: wtf!!1
    jack-E: DEFENSE, PEOPLE!!
    0ZW4LD: PWN3D!
    ssMAN01: LAAAAAAG
    k0nn3ly: cheatz0r aimbot!
    0ZW4LD: u suk
    j0hNnY: LPB repository camping fagot
    LBJJ: w00t!

    ...

    0ZW4LD: FUCK
    FBeye: DEFENSE, PEOPLE!!
    JR666: HAHAHA
    0ZW4LD: wtf respawn camper

    ...

    0st0n3: wtf, knollhack
    ADMIN: no one is cheating
    0st0n3: cheat c0de = back + left
    ADMIN: everyone just keep playing
    JQPublix: GG new map plz