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The Onion in 2056
agonist writes "Has anyone seen The Onion in 2056? I accidentally ran across it after clicking on one of the hyperlinks in my weekly Onion email." It's been awhile since we link The Onion. Always good for numerous laughs.
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The Onion is my Wendesday morning coffee break reading. . . and you slashdotted it. That's just plain old wrong.
You better watch out, there may be dogs about . .
Satire.... meant to be funny.... not to predict future accurately....????
The Crimson Dragon
Ever wonder what Slashdot will look like in 2056? My guess is that it will look pretty much like it does today. In fact, given the increase in the number of reposts, it will probably look exactly like it does today :)
Well, that just means Jeb Bush doesn't get voted as president. The fact that there's still a middle east in 2056 proves that.
That is part of the page's joke; that is the future: web pages riddled with popups, ActiveX errors, and other glitches. Totally unlike what we have now. Oh wait....
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
In 50 years I plan to take my news in some sort of pill form. All the benifits of an RSS feed with a fruit(possibly onion) aftertaste.
You make fun of France once and your Karma is never the same...
I hit the link and saw a veritible wallpaper of Flash click-to-play icons. I laughed for a moment, and then realized that *wasn't* the joke.
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
No headlines on Duke Nukem Forever's planned release in 2057 either... /me ducks
They are still making crappy Flash site in HTML 4.01 Transitional in 2056? Well that's still better than the HTML 3.2 of Slashdot in 2187.
If Microsoft was mass, stupidity would be gravity.
I think they need to upgrade their TiFi connection. It could be a lot faster, if those time cops did not restrict bandwidth in the name of "safety". Too much chroniton particle contentration, and next thing you know it's velociraptors popping up in your shower.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
These Onion people will never gain credibility as a news organisation if they cannot do more credible forecasting. Perhaps they should recruit that Dvorak gentleman.
(Above irony aside, if you read one of the Onion books, they have an issue from 2000, post election. The have a humorous forecast of the what the Bush presidency will bring which is eerily prophetic - "atleast one Desert Storm sized war", recessione etc.)
${YEAR+1} is going to be the year of Linux on the desktop!
It's been awhile since we link The Onion.
The Onion's ad revenue love you long time.
Sure, since 50 years ago (1955), it was pretty much like it is today...well, except for the Internet, the Cold War and Globalization
Globalization has been happening for several hundred years. Start with China's and Spain's silver trade for one. Nothing new, just no one noticed it until recently.
Fly me to the moon Let me sing among those stars Let me see what spring is like On jupiter and mars
One story they missed, though, is that even in 2056, some slashdot geeks still don't have a sense of humor.
Fer chrissakes... so it's in Flash... turn off flashblocker for 5 friggin' minutes and read some of the stories... they're quite good.
You'd think that by 2056, we'd have come up with a real name for ununhexium :)
51 years or technological advances and you can still kill a website.
I can literally hear my computer huffing and puffing to keep up with this page, because the temperature-controlled fan turned on as they rendered.
You can always hit up the text version.
"This will be the year of the Linux breakthrough on the desktop"
For those entirely missing the point, the problem is the old maxim that over time the usefulness of proprietary software (and also proprietary plugins) drops inexorably to zero.
A simple example - I'm running a 64-bit version of Firefox on Linux. There is no Flash plugin available for this platform, and there is nothing I or anyone else can do about it because only Macromedia make the plugins (yes, I know you could reverse-engineer the thing...)
So, I can't see the content, now in 2005. What will it be like in 2056? What are the chances of Macromedia still producing a plugin or supporting a 60 year-old technology? Flash content has an unknown lifespan completely out of your control.
HTML is an open standard. There are free programs available now which can parse it. When you use HTML you can be sure that in the future there is a very good chance of it still being accessible because even if the standard falls into disuse you can still go back and read the open spec and recompile / reuse the free code out there.
Flash in 2056? It's true irony...
you'd think the million robot march would have had 1,048,576 robots, not 1,000,000
"We are not tolerant people. We prefer drastically effective solutions"
> Flash in 2056? It's true irony...
I actually took this to be part of the joke. web content out of control, contributing to the hellishness of dystopia.
more accurately, I didn't take it as a direct slam on Flash, but rather a statement on how we seem to move toward complexity instead of simplicity. (cell phones are a good example.)
gadgets gone wild, you know.