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Send your name to Pluto
hatredman writes "NASA is preparing to send the New Horizons probe to Pluto. It will be the first earth device to get intimate with the icy planet. And you can be there too - or, at least, your name. NASA is asking everyone to send them their names, which will be attached in the space device. The New Horizons probe will be launched in January 2006 to explore Pluto and the Kuiper belt, in the outskirts of the Solar System. It is expected that the probe will return to earth in approximately 50 thousand years."
I entered Pluto Nium as my name, but when I check the site to make sure they've got me on the list it isn't there.
For some reason they don't want us to know Pluto Nium is on-board.
--
You didn't know.
Plutonian #1: Hey look, it's some kind of crashed probe.
Plutonian #2: I'll get the can opener!
*fooom*
P1: It's full of names, here is one, "Ivana Tinkle."
P2: I told you to go before we left the glarflog.
I'll strart getting junk mail from Pluto!
Now that's a death ray!
if NASA would put "I'm with Uranus" next to an arrow.
Everyone who puts their name on the list gets vaporized when the residents of Pluto come looking for whoever bombed their pseudo-planet?
I'm game.
For some reason NASA hired a bunch of outside consultants from the United States Postal Service to help plan this mission.
I'm sure Goofy can, but Pluto? He can't even talk.
If you post it, they will read.
Dear Mr. jmartens:
I am Plutonia Pluton, widow of the late Plutonian Head of State, Gen. Plutonius Pluton...
Greetings Pluto!
I am barrister JOSEPH ZOOMANEENE from Earth. 2 Years ago a space probe crashed on Jupiter, killing my rich uncle....
that you wouldn't want to get intimate with an icy planet
however, it's either that or get intimate with uranus
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Pluto the last planet? I don't think so!
If there's anything I've learned from my years on the internet, it is:
1. Pluto is not a planet.
2. Nibiru (or Planet X) is the last planet
3. Planet X actually pulled Pluto into it's own orbit - it was originally a moon
4. Aliens will attack us anytime now.
5. George Bush is a reptilian.
By signing up with the site, the NWO/Zeta Reticuli/Chewbacca will gather a database of the gullible who actually believe Pluto is the tenth planet.
Your lives will be doomed!
Or so, all the "conspiracy" sites believe...
Not that I believe that shit.
Seriously. I don't.
- Jack
P.S. - Did I mention that Jesus will return tomorrow. The "BIG ONE" will hit California next week. UFOs are awaiting a mass invasion!!!!!! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!! DOOOOMED!!! PEAK OIL! CLIMATE! KYOTO! BUSH!
So, you obviously didn't listen to him and put it on there anyways...
DAMN YOU OCTODOG! DAMN YOU TO HELL!
For that matter, try these (from the Simpsons):
Al Coholic
Oliver Clothesoff
I. P. Freely
Jacques Strap
Seymour Butz
Homer Sexual
Mike Rotch
Hugh Jass
Bea O'Problem
Amanda Huggenkiss
Ivana Tinkle
Anita Bath
Maya Buttreeks
Eura Snotball
Heywood U. Cuddleme
quidquid latine dictum sit altum videtur.
They better use a self extracting zip in case plutonians don't have win zip.
TODO create witty sig.
made it to Mars...this time, she's going straight for the Kuiper Belt!
Carousel is a lie!
It'll be back just in time for Windows Vista!
From:Mbebmu Abacha, Lagos-Nigeria.
.I will greatly appreciate if you accept my
Dear Pluto,
Following the sudden death of my husband General Sani
Abacha the late former head of state of Nigeria in
june 1998, I have been thrown into a state of utter
confusion, frustration and hopelessness by the present
civilian administration, I have been subjected to
physical and psychological torture by the security
agents in the country. My son was just released from
detention few months ago by the Nigerian Government
for an offence he did not commit. As a widow that is
so traumatized, I have lost confidence with anybody
within the country.
You must have heard over the media reports and the
internet on the recovery of various huge sums of money
deposited by my husband in different security firms
abroad, some companies willingly give up their secrets
and disclosed our money confidently lodged there or
many outright blackmail. In fact the total sum
discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of
$700. Million dollars. And they are not relenting to
make me poor for life. I got your contacts through my
personal research, and out of desperation decided to
reach you through this medium.I will give you more
information as to this regard as soon as you reply.
I repose great confidence in you hence my approach to
you due to security network placed on my day to day
affairs I cannot afford to visit the embassy so that
is why I decided to contact you and I hope you will
not betray my confidence in you. I have deposited the
sum of 30.000.000 million dollars with a security firm
abroad whose name is witheld for now until we open
communication.I shall be grateful if you could receive
this fund into your account for safe keeping. This
arrangement is known to you and my son Ahmed alone, so
my son will deal directly with you as security is up
my whole being.I am seriously considering to settle
down abroad in a friendly atmosphere like yours as
soon as this fund get into your account so that I can
start all over again if only you wish, but if it is
impossible,just help me in diverting this fund into
your account which will accrue you 30% of this fund.
Please honesty is the watch word in this transaction.I
will require your telephone and fax numbers so that we
can commence communication immediately and I will give
you a more detailed picture of things. In case you
dont accept please do not let me out to the security
as I am giving you this information in total trust and
confidence
proposal in good faith. Please expedite action by
sending your reply to my son email address below.
Sincerely Yours,
MBUMBE ABACHA.
Not only is Pluto not a planet - in fact, it's smaller and has fewer planetary characteristics than a couple of other bodies orbiting the sun which aren't planets - it's also less likely to be visited than, say, Haley's Comet.
.... and just about as useful.
Now, if you wanted to send the latest Nintendo DS version of Nintendogs to Pluto - that might be interesting
Me, I'm sticking with my Chinese land grant on the Moon - more likely to be useful when I become a space farmer, before the rise of the Emperor Karl.
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
Only if we mix the metric and imperial systems.
I don't do this for karma, I do it for cash. It's much better.
52005 AD: War Was Beginning...
No, wait, so this probe comes back, right? And on this probe are all these names. And when the people then find them they'll think, "So these are the bastards who used up all the oil!" and they'll have our names and construct a big Wall of Shame covered with them, see? And they'll ban these evil names from being used and rename anyone who has them.
So... why sould I want that kind of posterity?
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Look at all these John Smiths - it must be a clone army!
The Raven
Um, am I the only one wondering what the point of sending a CD is? Apart from the "prestiege" for the people on said CD, if any intelligent life picks it up, they're not exactly going to be able to read it are they?
...
Good point - as recordable media, CDs are notorious for flaking and losing data when exposed to sunlight and temperature extremes.
Now, the sunlight won't be a problem on Pluto, but how the heck are they going to pack a temperature-controlled space heater along for the ride - not to mention have it work for 50,000 years?
Drawing big pictures makes a lot more sense.
I can see it now, it's been 20,000 years and someone actually intercepts it, decodes it, and due to all the errors introduced the message comes out "We the following hostile lifeforms wish to destroy your race: [list of names] All Your Base Are Belong to US.A."
Either that or it says "the following people have signed up to become Soylent Green: [list of names]"
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
"let alone intelligent life understanding our alphabet, then working out ASCII code, then working out binary."
Well duh...thats what readme.txt is for
Mike Hunt
They'll be joined by my good friends Mike Oxbig, Oliver Closoff, Harry Weiner, and Ima Ho. ... oh man... this brings me back... like... a week...
Best. Webhost. Ever. Dreamhost.
The Plutonians will probably get the CDs and use them as coasters, like all the AOL CDs they get.
If you can't convince them, convict them.
That's OK. They're going to use XML.
Now those Plutonians will know what Earth is all about.
My Greatest Heist - Muisc partly inspired by the unbeatable Qwantz
I'm a vampire, you insensitive clod!
I like my women like my coffee... pale and bitter.
$ emacs README
Then he sat back and twiddled his four thumbs as he waited for the editor to load.
Alien 1: "We've decoded the script, and expect the results in a few seconds."
Alien 2: "Excellent... I wonder what insight this will give us on the universe!?"
Alien 1: "Awwww SHIT!"
Alien 2: "What!? What's wrong?!"
Alien 1: "We were too late. We only decoded it in time to catch the credits..."
Mmmmmm... Bold, yet refreshing!
"Look at these strange inscriptions on the disc..."
"I will copy them down and have them translated immediately!"
"It's a pretty thing, but what a terribly inefficient writing surface they use. Haven't they heard of paper?"
"Imagine passing notes in class like this!"
"Ha ha! Clunk! Busted!"
"Ha! Indeed! Prepare the invasion fleet."
The world's only surviving livewriter.
Years from now, Anthropologists will have heated debates over the sudden rise of the space-pioneering Jablome dynasty.
Using the search feature, I found:
Heywood Jablome 103982 2005-08-09 21:04:33
Hugh G. Rection 241557 2005-08-29 17:34:56
Mike Hunt 77369 2005-06-29 23:41:56
Homer Sexual 38139 2005-04-24 06:31:23
But not one Phil McCracken!
I object to that article, and to the next reply.
You say they would moderate those names on Pluto? Whoa...