Google Plans To Destroy Unindexed Information

linolium writes "Executives at Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to 'organize the world's information,' announced Monday the latest step in their expansion effort: a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it is unable to index. 'Book burning is just the beginning," said Google co-founder Larry Page. 'This fall, we'll unveil Google Sound, which will record and index all the noise on Earth. Is your baby sleeping soundly? Does your high-school sweetheart still talk about you? Google will have the answers.'" FYI; it's The Onion, so yes, it's a joke.

Comments

The onion as a news source.

[RingDev]

The problem is, someone who doesn't know what the Onion is will beleive this. Just like the Chinese did in 2000 when the Onion had an article about the Senate okaying a 2 billion dollar project to make the US Capitol's dome open like a sports arena. It's fake news people. Funny, but comepletely made up. Page3 usually has an unfilled section that they just stick a random phrase in. My favorite was the "...and there was an amazing amount of blood..." repeated over and over.

-Rick

Is this a wakeup call?

[Hannah E. Davis]

This actually made me giggle. Not because it's from The Onion, but because it looks like even the /. editors have finally realized that this community's obsession with Google has gone a little too far. This article follows close on the heels of innumerable other articles -- if you look under the Google topic you'll see that there's usually at least one per day -- most of which are a bizarre fanboyish mix of solid facts (eg. Google hired some guy! Google bought an ordinary piece of hardware!) and conjecture (eg. Google is clearly going to make a whole new internet!).

This article calls attention to just how silly the whole thing is. Before I'm modded as a troll, I'd like to point out that I like Google too, but it isn't healthy to worship them this much or post every single Google-related rumour on the internet on this site.

And of course, if Zonk actually did think it was real, that just makes everything I said all the more true...

All Google All the Time

[SuperBanana]

Ease up, cowboy. There will be a dupe you can complain about coming along in 5 minutes.

I believe the parent poster was hinting to the fact that Slashdot, lately, is All Google, All The Time. Just like we got sick of 9/11, just like we got sick of the Tsunami, just like a lot of folks are already sick of hearing about Mississippi...people just get tired of hearing about something constantly. I'm sick of reading news that looks very much like it was spoon-fed by a PR agency. I worked for such an agency for a couple months in IT, and I was half shocked, half not-surprised at how often stuff that popped up in the paper was the result of efforts of the firm I worked for. Reporters these days are under pressure to get stories out as cheap as possible, and when a PR firm approaches them with what seems like a pretty tame position, some handy quotes all collected for them...they're all to happy to oblige. Sound familiar? The boys at slashdot haven't touched the site in years except to add advertisements; they're fully into cruise mode.

Google really has turned into another Microsoft; a giant company that really doesn't do anything all that clever, but because they're so big, everyone thinks the world revolves around them and fawns over every little thing. For example- Google Maps. It's not even remotely clever aside from the panning bit; it doesn't, for example, let me save any frequently used addresses. The printed maps are atrocious in quality (you have to have a big screen, and do a screen cap, and print that to get anything decent). Route numbers are RARELY displayed, and names of roads not often enough.

Google claims to release stuff half-baked to see where people go with it, but honestly? It's still half-baked. Some people point to Google Maps and say "look how clever it is!" and I turn around and say, "look at how clever it ISN'T for a product from a huge corporation with supposedly the best talent in the industry working for it."

Re:Plonk Zonk!

[NanoGator]

"I want news, not ads for nerds."

Oh right, like there's a big difference between the two. I hate to break it to you, but 'news for nerds' often means "there's a new blinkie device we can all go buy."

If you really want news for nerds, then I suggest actually going to a real news site. Google's got a great news site. If there's a topic you're interested in, you can often find sites that specialize on that topic. If you want a discussion board with semi geeky topics, then Slashdot's perfect. You can even filter out Zonk's stories if he bugs you so much.

I'm not terribly interested in defending Slashdot here. I'm just sick of the endless bitching. Sadly, I cannot filter that out.

Re:Zzzzzzzzz boring and not funny

[flyingsquid]

wow that was lame. /. has jumped the shark.

I'm starting to wonder if the Onion has too. Lately it just seems like they're trying too hard, and not succeeding. The articles seem sort of mediocre, that recent "Future Onion" issue was a clever concept which utterly failed to be funny, and their web site has just gone through a complete redesign with the result is that it is (a) hideous- I'm talking face-burned-with-acid hideous- and (b) really difficult to read or navigate.

+1 Prophetic

[doormat]

n/t