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Google Plans To Destroy Unindexed Information
linolium writes "Executives at Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to 'organize the world's information,' announced Monday the latest step in their expansion effort: a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it is unable to index. 'Book burning is just the beginning," said Google co-founder Larry Page. 'This fall, we'll unveil Google Sound, which will record and index all the noise on Earth. Is your baby sleeping soundly? Does your high-school sweetheart still talk about you? Google will have the answers.'" FYI; it's The Onion, so yes, it's a joke.
No comment.
wow that was lame. /. has jumped the shark.
For everyone who doesn't get it:
Google plans to "destroy" unindexed information by indexing it. Get it? Good.
Did you perchance notice the big foot next to the article? Granted, it doesn't appear on the front page as it probably should, but it is still there.
Technoli
We had this one back in April.
Lacking <sarcasm> tags,
It's really not that hard.....
(1) Go to preferences
(2) Select Home Page
(3) Uncheck Zonk in the list of Authors you want to read stories from
(4) Profit
You forgot the lame-ass game review
I dunno about The Onion not being real news. They called this one pretty well:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784
"Bush: Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over." -- Onion, Jan 17/2001.
For everyone who's too dumb to read the article: It's a joke, and does not cover Google's actual intentions.
Go to your User Preferences > Customize Stories on the Homepage > Authors, and uncheck "Zonk" or any other editors you wish to ignore.
I dug the link up for those who weren't priveliged enough to catch it the first time. http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29743
Reminds me of the Futurama episode where Fry is sent in to stop the brains from destroying the Universe once they finish collecting every piece of info about it...
Of course, this is an Onion article, so it's a joke.
I am confused about one thing: while I'm used to Slashdot reporting non-news as news, and incorrect news as news, outside of April Fool's I don't think I've ever seen them report satire as if it were real news.
Wood Shavings!
- Godai
Well, at least they remembered to include the humor icon (the Monty Python foot).
Is this Zonk guy someone fairly new, or did people just start complaining about him recently?
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
i thought that was Braniac's project...
They can choose to hide it.
No existe.
-- Stolen Memories (episode #8) --
Superman: You destroyed those planets, didn't you? And every living soul on them!Brainiac: Only their knowledge was important. It was what I was programmed to collect and protect.
Superman: But why kill?
Brainiac: The fewer beings who have the knowledge, the more precious it becomes.
Superman: You're insane!
* I wonder if it is going to confuse and anger Smallville fans when Brainiac is based on Vril Dox, the alien scientist from the comics rather than the Kryptonian AI from Superman: The Animated Series and Justice League Unlimited. (At least I assume that's what they are doing since James Marster's is playing Milton Fine.)
And now to post anonymously so no one will ever see this cosmic geekout!
That's actually a spoof of Brainiac in the Superman comics/TV show... a evil computer whose mission is to record the entire universe in its memory, then destroy the universe so that the copy it contains is the definitive one.
:)
Yeah, yeah, I always have to ruin the joke.
Comment of the year
Take a look at the google topic. Here, I'll make it easy. Hmm, we have ~1 story per day. Some days get 2, some 0, but the average for the past week is 1/day.
Now let's review the content: speculation, rumours, and outright lies, coupled with a small mix of facts.
I think Zonk has proven that he's aware of what's going on, and he's able to make a fairly well played post on the topic. I think this is perfectly topical and great. If you don't get the joke, head on over to here and decheck Zonk as an edior. I would prefer you to not post on his stories!
It's funny, laugh!
--
Internet Explorer (n): Another bug -- that is, a feature that can't be turned off -- in Windows.
Whereas most people (IMHO) coming to /. are looking for news not jokes (It does say "News for nerds" on the package.)
If you turn on CNN and find them reporting a fantastical story, your natural reaction is to assume they are reporting something which they believe to be true, whereas if you turn on "Little Britain" or another comedy show, even if they are doing a believable news report, you automatically assume it is false and just a joke.
If every piece of apparent 'news' had to be judged by the viewer for 'believability' then what happens when something apparently unbelievable does happen?
How do we know whether the story of the regenerating mouse was discussing real science or was just a science fiction article by an obscure writer?
Quantum Physics a.k.a. sub-molecular statistics