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Google Plans To Destroy Unindexed Information
linolium writes "Executives at Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to 'organize the world's information,' announced Monday the latest step in their expansion effort: a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it is unable to index. 'Book burning is just the beginning," said Google co-founder Larry Page. 'This fall, we'll unveil Google Sound, which will record and index all the noise on Earth. Is your baby sleeping soundly? Does your high-school sweetheart still talk about you? Google will have the answers.'" FYI; it's The Onion, so yes, it's a joke.
Slashdot vows to destory all fake articles.
Now slashdot is quoting THE ONION as real news. Wow, I want my subscription money back.
--sig fault--
this reminds me of Bill Gates decision to raise his Charisma to 25.
Nice... caught me off guard.
When did
I KNEW THEY WERE EVIL!!!!!!
(Score:0, Interesting)
Did you see that? thats /. jumping the shark.
I wouldn't worry too much, your stuff should still be safe. I hear it takes them awhile to get these things out of Beta...
For a second I thought it was April 1st. Geez.
I know it doesn't show up on the main page, but the "Monty Python humor foot" is visible when you click the link. I'm sure anyone with a shred of a sense of humor would recognize it's a joke.
Ease up, cowboy. There will be a dupe you can complain about coming along in 5 minutes. My money's on the "Microsoft employee virus chaser" myself - anyone want to place bets that "Freespire" is the next dupe?
52 Weeks, 52 Religions with John Hummel
With all these websites and news outlets that want to opt out of Google's searches, I suppose in hindsight that was a poor management decision, eh?
When I saw this article in The Onion, it reminded me a lot of these episodes of Futurama.
A choice quote:
Giant brain: Pathetic human race. Arranging their knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands.
Google is starting to remind me of a well-known community that served a traditional grape kool-aid beverage.
Ya know, this is really a good thing! I was really wondering how I was gonna hide all that stuff I didn't want the cops/feds to find out about me. Now, I don't have to worry about it - the all-knowing all-powerful Google Purge service will make sure my computer is clean!
OTOH, I sent this page to some friends, and they actually believed it for a few minutes... I need new friends...
--- "To ignore race and sex is racist and sexist!" -- Jesse Jackson
This is an historic day in my Slashdot life. Zonk is now being added to the list that heretofore had previously contained only JonKatz.
rooooar
I refuse to RTFA because it's obviously an ad for the Onion. They make their money by serving ads while I read their amusing parodies. Well I, for one, refuse to read anything that isn't pasted to me in clear text completely sanitized of ads and recommended to me by a disinterested 3rd party. I know it seems a bit hypocritical of me to post a comment on an ad-supported site about how I won't read the article of another ad-supported site, but I really love the prestige of having the word 'Insightful' appear next to my nick.
"Derp de derp."
Meanwhile, just last night, I wrote to Google and said, "OK, you find everything on the Internet, you find what I need to get stuff done at work on my workstation, but why can't you find my car keys?" And now they're going to do that.
Apparently, this means we can all stop submitting Google headlines to Slashdot. Ask me instead.
Help us build a better map!
When the flying brains created the giant infosphere that indexed all the information in the universe, and was then to destroy the universe to prevent any new information from being created. But who's going to sneak into google on a flying scooter?
[100% ISO 646 Compliant]
SVM, ERGO MONSTRO.
I work at a fairly well respected search engine marketing firm. Someone at a client of ours passed this article to their CEO, who in turn called us in a panic!
;)
Our analyst doesn't bother to actually read the article, and spends several hours creating reports proving every page on their site appears in Google's database! I almost fell out of my chair when heard about this.
For obvious reasons I cannot reveal my true identity.
Google search reveals: 23,900,000 for "Jesus"... 6,410,000 for "Beatles"... 251,000,000 for "Google". 'Nuff said.
"The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the pieces." --Aldo Leopold (Paraphrased)
The brains approach the Brain Sphere carrying information on placards, which the Sphere scans and reads aloud:
Brain Sphere: "11 > 4... Beavers mate for life... For quality carpets, visit Kaplan's Carpet Warehouse!!"
>WHAT ABOUT GANDHI?
There's a search engine called Ghandi? I imagine it would mostly search for inner peace and enlightenment.
Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to 'organize the world's information,'
Oh, that Google. Thanks for the elaboration, yes I've heard of them before.
Flying is easy, just throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams
doubleplus ungood
Yes, I know it was an onion article...
"Our funds have never taken part in toxic or death spiral convertible financings of any sort" -BayStar's managing partne