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Bill Gates' Taxes Require Special Computer
NightWulf writes "News AU claims Bill Gates said in an interview, his fortune is so big, that the IRS needs a special computer, because a normal one can't handle the numbers. The IRS must have had to switch from PC's to Macs just for Gates."
Except the special computer that the IRS use for my taxes is an Altair.
If I was Bill Gates, I'd go home and have a money fight with wads of thousand dollar bills.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
... they need to use special software, but Gates realizes his audience is a bunch a morons and he's dumbing it down a little.
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
Its not that the numbers are too big, its that the EULA he staples to his tax forms require it be processed by 100% MS software.
Some bring out the best in others, some the worst. Some bring out far more.
There is only ONE computer that could possibly handle these calculations.
I have an idea, if your fortune gets to be so large that even the IRS can't figure it all out, you should be required to give some of it away to the poor until they can do the necessary calculations.
That being said, I will accept cash and postal money orders only please.
He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
Which only displays the numeral "6" in large repetitive multiples, usually in triplets.
They do mine on a napkin with a red pen.
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
Moe: "Say, Barn. Uh, remember when I said I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab?"
Barney: "Oh ho, oh yeah. We all had a good laugh, Moe."
Moe: "The results came back today."
I'm a big tall mofo.
I haven't RTFA, but when I read the blurb, it made me think of all the old games and software that would let your money/score/whatever roll over to zero if it got too high. Nothing like having one billion, wait, negative 500 million doll.. Ah CRAP!
./ to log me in.. I wonder why they needed a special computer.. if it really was because thier system can't handle numbers that large, of if there's some sort of other reason.. I wonder if Warren Buffet has the same problem/bragging rights as well..
And now that I've RTFA while I waited for
===== Murphy's Law is recursive. =====
They need a Linux computer
"Oh, please, please, Mr. IRS Man, please give me the latex glove audit."
MS Money.
MS Money Small Business Edition.
MS Money Enterprise.
MS Money Multi-national Edition.
MS Money Dr. Evil Edition.
MS Money Dr. Evil Edition with Laser Beams.
and never will, unless they can effectively divide by 0.
In other news, Steve Balmer threw a chair at the IRS computer so he could also claim they needed a new "special" one for him too.
Proof by very large bribes. QED.
...640K was enough for anybody?
#naabhaprzrag, #sverubfr-000, #agi-fcbafberq, negvpyr[pynff*=' negvpyr-ary-'] { qvfcynl: abar !vzcbegnag; }
Does this special computer run on Windows?
I need Microsoft Money 64-bit edition to handle my personal finance...
So, correct me if I'm wrong here...but if Billy's financial information ever wound up on an IRS PC running any MS software...wouldn't that be a conflict of interest?
if ($host=="BILLSPECIAL") { fake($taxes); }
?
...when Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Synchronize your calendar and mobile phone via text messaging.
Mr. Simpson, this computer can process NINE tax returns per DAY. Did you really think you could fool it?
You must be raking in the dough.
They send mine to this fellow.
"terrorism" and "pedophilia" are the root passwords to the Constitution
Or iPenis if they did switch to Macs.
Hmmm, can Apple sue over a translucent dildo?
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Yah, they hadda build one with dials that go to 11.
There is no God, and Dirac is his prophet.
>Billy G is a drop in the hat...yea larger then what we put in the hat...by an insane amount....but still a drop in the bucket.
sooo...... you wear a bucket as a hat?
$64.0 billion ought to be enough for anybody.
Aggrivated by false "failure to comply" notices, Gates confided in one of his best friends, Steve Ballmer, about the issue. Ballmer has since vowed to Fucking Kill(TM) the IRS, stating that he's "Done it before and he'll do it again". He then chucked a copy of Microsoft Money 2006 in the general direction of Washington DC.
...that he's arrived - he has a 64-bit fortune.
They do mine with one liner shell script.
"Don't let fools fool you. They are the clever ones."
"Barney, remember how I said we'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab? Well it came back...."
Love many, trust a few, do harm to none.
It has to be. Even Bill Gates does not get letters of apology from the IRS. No fricking way. Never happened. Chuck Norris on the other hand...
This computer requires a special OS known as "Linux" that able to perform complex mathematical calculations without requiring the standard operating procedure on most computers known as "Blue-Screening". Mr. Gates was quick to point out that for the average taxpayer Windows XP was accurate for calculating federal taxes +/- 100%. He was also quick to point out that Microsoft is not liable for any tax penalties that may be accrued due to tax preparation with MS Windows.
One needs tools to make better tools to make
One also has to break tools to make room for new ones. That's what I do.
MICROSOFT founder Bill Gates, the world's richest man, said today the pants office in the US has to keep his penis in a special harness because his member is so vast.
"My johnson has to be kept in special trousers because normal garments can't deal with the numbers," he said at a Microsoft conference held in Lisbon.
Thank you, Mr. Gates!
I'm inclined to believe it. About four years ago, I did a little consulting work with a guy whose full time job was working for the US Treasury Department on a project named "System 89", so named because it was originally scheduled for completion in 1989.
If I don't put anything here, will anyone recognize me anymore?
Bill's home mortgage (if it exists) does not exist.
Whoa, man, you're blowing my mind!
"The IRS must have had to switch from PC's to Macs just for Gates" ... because they have trouble with more than one button on their mouse???
Well that would certainly explain the mysterious nonabsoluteness of the relationship between what the Tax Man says I owe, and that which I am prepared to pay!
unsigned int question = 0x2B | ~(0x2B)
General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
Yes, GOTO programming is alive and well in the IRS tax forms.
Except you are the computer and errors in your memory will cause heart pounding letters from the IRS.
quit beating a dead horse!
Need Geek Rock? Try The Franchise!
there are myriad of complicated structures (ie LLCs, FLPs, trusts, promissory notes) that require incredibly intense accounting.
I have a new purpose in life, I will direct all my efforts to becoming an extreme, hardcore accountant.
Bring it on.
fnord.