Slashdot Mirror
New Plans From Lucasfilm
Lawrence Person writes "Locus Online has the announcement from Lucasfilms stating that they have authorized an 'adult' line of Star Wars novels. From the article: 'While the movies were still an ongoing project, it was important to portray all aspects of the Star Wars universe as wholesome family entertainment. However, now that the cycle of films is done, we can finally broaden the Star Wars franchise into marketing niches we'd heretofore avoided, and adult entertainment is at the top of our list.'" Relatedly, H_Fisher writes "In a first-of-its-kind move, George Lucas has announced that Lucasfilm and 20th Century Fox will offer free 'replacement DVDs' to anyone who mails in pre-Special Edition VHS and Laserdisc copies of Star Wars episodes IV, V, and VI by April 30th. From the press release: 'This unique opportunity will help fans experience the complete and correct vision of my epic story.'"
these get worse every year.
And still, Luke's feelings for his sister will make his betrayal complete ...
// Agent Green (Ian / IU7 / KB1JQO)
// IEEE 802.3: All 10base Are Belong To Us
For the third year in a row, Urgo's list of April Fool's Jokes on Websites contains the most complete list of April Fool's Day pranks websites have created. Featured by news.com.com.com.. and Microsoft, the site strives to list EVERY joke site, and is updated every few minutes with new verified jokes. wikipedia also contains a sizeable list.
Sample:
tveps.net - Isaac 'Chef' Hayes not leaving southpark after all. Comes clean that it was a publicity stunt.
thinkgeek.com - USB Tanning Center, RFID Blocking T-shirt, Grow Your Own 1up Mushroom Kit, Caffeine Inhaler, and more
theregister.co.uk - customise The Register to suit your needs - from blocking ads, to selecting the kind of stories you really want to read.
worldofwarcraft.com - Blizzard to put Wisps as a playable race for World of Warcraft.
tvpredictions.com - Ready for X-ray TV? New TV picture technology even clearer than HDTV; you can actually see through people's clothing on TV.
blizzard.com - BLIZZARD ENTERTAINMENT® PRESENTS BURGERCRAFT(TM)
bolloxcomics.co.uk - Myspace parody
bolloxcomics.co.uk - YTMND parody
wiebetech.com - 5 TB iPod
sideshowtoy.com - Half a Darth Maul Figure Exclusive?
slashdot.org - OMG!!! PONIES!!! (and pink layout)
whirlpool.net.au - Telstra will only release 2mbit ADSL2+ in Australia.
forums.worldofwarcraft.com - World of Warcraft 1.11 patch notes leaked
mymsnsearch.com - fake (but hilariously accurate) search results
gearlog.com - Laptop Lingerie: Bringing Tech & Pleasure Together
googlesystem.blogspot.com - Google Browser is finally launched. Installer 1.68MB
sordeo.com - mirror image and the title says, 'Now optimized for those afflicted with Dyslexia'
eternal-lands.com - Free Software Foundation buys Eternal Lands
Belive in Technology and AMAZE yourself. -- RIP ZDTV/TechTV
If they have the original Leia in her slave outfit, plus put the entire movie in german. I'd watch it! Infact I think I already have.
"I'm going to f***ing bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to f***ing kill Google"
i can now see the swords having a dildo hand grip.
Oh noes.. I can just see it. "Is that a lightsaber, or are you just happy to see me?"
Didn't LucasFilms sue over an anime revisioning of Star Wars with adult film themes? Why, yes, they did. And because of the publicity from their action I became aware of the existence of said DVD and purchased a copy.
It wasn't very good. But then the source material had its shortcomings.
Finally, Han is gonna throw it to Leia. We've all been waiting for this...
... because Mark Hammill is stuck doing porn these days, right?
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
How hot would a light saber really be?
Like this comment? I accept Bitcoin! - 153sc8UUBXyp12ofQqfAWDmJrzyiKCYC1x
with all this talk of light-sabers, and pics of fanboys. HOT!
... involving jabba the hut. Finally, my dreams have become a reality!
he asked for it:0 38555
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=181816&cid=15
Of course, books mean we have to imagine it, but this is slashdot, that's all we do anyway... right? right????
"The bass, the rock, the mic, the treble. I like my coffee black, just like my metal" - Mindless Self Indulgence
I found this page with some preliminary storyboards. I'll be standing in line for this one.
So... is doing a Wookiee legal in most states?
"I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)
I wonder if they'll be either making a list or using this list in the novels?
That probably explains the lack of real plot in the new movies
Of coarse. His latest is Wookie Nights
I'll never ever will be watching lucas' movies. Even with padme being naughty in a pre prequel or something like that.
Hans definitely shoots first.
I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
If I send George my post-special edition versions will he send me the originals on DVD?
I'm glad April 1st falls on a weekend this year. That lessens the chance that something important will happen in the tech world today. And so it won't get lost in all these lame-ass, and obvious, April Fools posts. I'm also thankful that it only comes once a year, thus making Slashdot totally fucking useless only one day a year.
I want a new quote. One that won't spill. One that don't cost too much. Or come in a pill.
OMG!!! Ewoks!!! Seriously, wtf is lucas doing. He has become not only what he despised when he started out to be a film maker, but he's also become the evil that he frack'n writes into screen plays! HOLY CRAP! I live in marin and accually see him quite offten driving his average everyday commuter car (Farrari) to work (Ranch) and take pleasure in flipping him off ever time i see him tugging at his fluffy ewoke beard pondering what his next crappy move will be. 1. The biggest secret in movie history was that vader was lukes father, so much that it was kept from the crew until show time. 2. When asked if "a new fan started to watch starwars for the first time, what order should they watch it in?" Lucas said EP 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Uhm... wouldn't that void the surprise that he worked so hard to keep? Seriously, someone lock him up before he starts remastering the Ewoke adventures and runining... oh wait, nm.
So the rumors are true, and Han Solo really shagged Leia in ESB? I hope that they did the shot 20 years ago, if they have to re-shot with Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford now I wouldnt want to see this...
you mean that they weren't already adult films... now I know I'm your average evangelical puritan, but I'm pretty sure that when Han Solo kissed the Princess THAT WAS A SIN... did we see a marriage before hand... hell worth almost... and don't even get me started on the possible incest situation, the killing (outside of an official, state designated, war) and the wife beating / strangling
*''I can't believe it's not a hyperlink.''
the moderation is funnier than the post
I'm afraid.
Intolerance for ambiguity is the mark of the authoritarian personality.
Even if this is a april fools thing, and there WONT be an adult star wars movie, the idea does have merit in one way; If you define adult movie as=Movie for adults, void of bullshit, jar jar binks, cute fuzzy animals added to make it more child friendly, if you added a bit of grittyness, a heavier plot and even blood, then you might actually have a adult science fiction movie, something that hasn't been done in a good way in a long time, and i'm not counting I Robot.
... our childhood memories. Now he wants to destroy our adult fantasties.
There is already pr0n in the movies. Check out the scene where Han and Leia are ducking stormtrooper fire outside the entrance to the force field generator in RotJ. At one time Leia falls down, Han leans down and asks "Are you okay?" and quickly feels her breast. Scout's honor. Just slowmo through the scene and you'll see that Harrison Ford does it intentionally . As opposed to the OP, this is not an April Fool's joke.
"Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?" has a double entendre!
(That, and "This may smell bad kid, but it'll keep you warm.")
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
"In a first-of-its-kind move, George Lucas has announced that Lucasfilm and 20th Century Fox will offer free 'replacement DVDs' to anyone who mails in pre-Special Edition VHS and Laserdisc copies of Star Wars episodes IV, V, and VI by April 30th. From the press release: 'This unique opportunity will help fans experience the complete and correct vision of my epic story.'"
The man is trying to rub out history with this move. Aside from the pirate versions of the laser disk, fans have few refuges for enduring copies of the triology which dont feature magic, blaster bolt dodging Han Solo or similiar crap which shows up in the new versons of the orginal Starwars triology. This is just another step in trying to erase what was seen by most fans, as a superior cinematic experience.
I hate to say it but our only hope is that the man dies and leaves the rights to starwars to some one who isnt an asshole.
I ignore Anonymous Coward posts. If you want to discuss something, that's awesome. Log in.
No one is insulting anyone. It's all just good fun. If you don't like it, take a big dose of Ambien and sleep through the entire day.
"Leo Fender was in a 'state of grace' when he designed the Stratocaster." -- Paul Reed Smith
Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?
Does anyone else agree these "April Fools" posts are worth it, if only to laugh at those who haven't gotten the joke yet?
Oh...right...sarcasm.
Math is math. Regular expression is regular expression. The tools are there. The future is now.
From the press release: 'This unique opportunity will help fans experience the complete and correct vision of my epic story.'
The disturbing thing is, I wouldn't put it past him to actually do this.
"Suck on this, princess!"
"I challenge you to a Pork Sword duel!"
"Your Wookie just man-raped me!"
"Why's your spaceship shaped like a rampant rabbit?"
I cannot see where to fit Jabba The Hut into this.
Otherwise, sign me up.
You found Natalie Portman naked ... now where are the hot grits?
Since nobody else has listed it yet, here's the Karma Sutra as you've never seen it before!
1. She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid.
2. Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!
3. Look at the size of that thing!
4. Sorry about the mess...
5. You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.
6. Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?
7. You've got something jammed in here real good.
8. Put that thing away before you get us all killed!
9. Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?
10. Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care WHAT you smell!
11. You're all clear, kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home!
12. Get on top of it!
In the Movie The Empire Strikes Back:
1. And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!
2. Possible he came in through the south entrance.
3. I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?
4. Hurry up, golden rod...
5. That's OK, I like to keep it on manual control for a while.
6. But now we must eat. Come, good food, come...
7. Control, control...You must learn control!
8. There's an awful lot of moisture in here.
9. Size matters not...judge me by my size do you?
10. I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me!
11. Would it help if I got out and pushed?
Slashdot: providing anti-social weirdos a soapbox, since 1997.
Star Whores?
I'm sorry, it's been a long week.
stuff |
The Adventures of Jango Phatt; Intergalactic Booty Hunter
t
Hotel Porkins
Amidala, Queen of Naboob (soft core)
Chicks with Tentacles (Fetish)
Sith On My Face
Sex Wars Episode IV: A New Hole
Judge Me by My Size (fetish)
Hoth in the Sheets
Dirty Jedi #43
Debbie does Dantooine.
The Devaronian and Miss Jones
Mesa so Horny - Gungan fetish
Red Lekku Bonanza - Twi'Lek fetish
Hutt Sluts
Yes, My Master - Sith S&M
The Secret Life of Princess LayUs
Hands Solo
Boba Fetish: Capture Me (BDSM)
Wookiee Nookie
Lightsaber Lovin'
Blow My Death Star
Fat and Frisky (Hutts)
Lando's co-ed house party
Artoo & 3PO's power coupling
Stolen from here for easier reading and to make sure they don't get slashdotted: http://www.shavenwookie.com/orhp/humour/swporn.tx
"I'm going to f***ing bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to f***ing kill Google"
.. or are you just glad to see me ;)
--I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
I didn't realize this was an April Fool's joke. I thought you meant that Star Wars gets worse every year and I agreed. But you meant the jokes. Oops.
Can I bum a sig?
There are already Star Wars slot machines. I was a little surprised when I first saw them in Vegas, but with Star Wars being the brand whore that it is, this story, sadly enough, really is a little bit plausible.
I knew it! There is more than just the kiss Leia gave Luke! Incest anyone? :P
Gentoo Linux - Wouldn't have it any other way. And fuck beta.
I hear he does a cameo in "Dooku Does Dagobah".
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
Jeeezus H Christ, he got wood when he kissed his fuckin' SISTER!
Mr. Rogers voice: Can you say incest?
And don't complain to me that you couldn't see the wood. Just look at that expression on his face: that was one satisfied, horny, incestuous FREAK!
Anyway, don't we already have the XXX version of Star Wars? It's called Flesh Gordon. A damned funny and entertaining film that was released before Star Wars. (Does that make it a prequel?)
We have always been at war with Eurasia!
Lucas was quoted as saying, "They got it all wrong... now the fans will really get to see what I meant when I told the editors that Greedo should shoot first."
*yawn*
Does this mean my fantasy of Natalie Portman covered in hot grits will actually come true?
w00t!!!
Hot Grits, lots of hot grits!
May I suggest that one of the adult stories be about a galaxy full of Hiromi Oshima clones.
Well, the Lego kits for it are already out:
http://drew.corrupt.net/bp/series1.html
Table-ized A.I.
Talk about, like, being so out of pinkish clue. :P :P :P
Do you also, like, make Bob Cratchit work on Christmas?
And you probly hate ponies too! What a total loser.