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Dirtiest Jobs in Science

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the don't-wanna-be-a-chicken-sexer dept.

ExE122 writes "CNN and CareerBuilder have posted a listing of the top 10 dirtiest jobs in science. 'Whether they are sifting through reeking mud banks to find cures for contamination, or sorting stool samples to get to the bottom of our bathroom dilemmas, these are some of the science jobs that sacrifice their time, energy and comfort for the greater global good.' Sounds like a job opportunity for Mike Rowe!" From the article: "Hot-zone Superintendent - What they do: Perform maintenance work for bio-safety labs that study lethal airborne pathogens, for which there is no known cure. Their work enables scientists to study the nature of disease-causing organisms, such as anthrax."

120 comments

  1. They Missed One! by Petersko · · Score: 5, Funny

    Cleaning up Stephen Hawking after "Chili Tuesday" has had time to work its magic!

    1. Re:They Missed One! by Shadow+Wrought · · Score: 4, Funny
      "What about me?"

      -Schroedinger's Cat

      --
      If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
    2. Re:They Missed One! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      i hope you read that, Stephen, because I did not sign-up for this crap.

  2. Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by hclyff · · Score: 1

    I don't think I need to know what or who is Semen Washer...

    1. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by Stripsurge · · Score: 1

      Actually that job is probably the cleanest of the list. There's no horrible smell and there's no touching of anything vile.
      1) Pipette drop of fluid onto slide.
      2) Look at slide.
      3) Count sperm.
      4) Put a tube into a centrifuge.
      5) Pipette out water.
      6) Put tube into the freezer.

      Where does the dirty part come into play?

    2. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by Ajehals · · Score: 1

      FTA:

      Semen Washer

      What they do: Take semen samples under microscopic observation to study their sperm count, then spin, separate, add preservatives and freeze the samples for in vitro fertilization.

      Although how that is massively more dirty than any other job that involves looking at cells under a microscope beats me.

    3. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by krell · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Where does the dirty part come into play?"

      That's how you have to talk to the guy during the step 0) obtaining of sample.

      --
      Where were you when the voynix came?
    4. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by hiroller · · Score: 1

      It's called a snowball

    5. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 3, Funny

      ...obtaining of sample

      Reminds me of a visit to a medical lab.

      I was mildly embarrassed to be dropping off a urine sample for a 24 hour calcium test, which is a *huge* jug of piss collected over 24 hours.

      Some other guy was trying to hand off a 'sample' to one of the lab techs.
      She said very loudly (for all to hear): "I can't take your semen.
      Semen samples can only be accepted between (some time range) on (some specific days)."

      I thought they had more discrete ways of handling samples like that. It sure made me feel less awkward.

    6. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by techno-vampire · · Score: 1

      I had to take one of those "collect your urine for 24 hours" tests once. I'd thought that it was testing for traces of something so they needed a big sample. It turns out I was wrong. They're actually testing for a number of waste products that are produced at different times of day.

      --
      Good, inexpensive web hosting
    7. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by Oliver+Wendell+Jones · · Score: 1

      Actually they only need a few mL of liquid, but they need to measure your total daily output so they can multiply the values from the amount tested by the total volume collected - i.e., if your urine calcium value is 3 mg/dL, they need to multiply that by your total daily void to determine exactly how much calcium you output.

      --
      A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing -- Emo Phillips
    8. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by techno-vampire · · Score: 1

      That's if you're taking a calcium test. In my case they were testing for a number of things and needed a full day's output to find them all.

      --
      Good, inexpensive web hosting
    9. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      sounds like the poor guy that has to clean up the nudie booths

    10. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by pipingguy · · Score: 1

      She said very loudly (for all to hear): "I can't take your semen."

      My romantic come-on lines have often been creatively and directly rebuffed but never quite like that.

    11. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by Monsieur+Canard · · Score: 1

      After my vasectomy I had to drop off samples twice to make sure the pipes were clean. I figured there were two ways of handling this: 1) to be totally embarassed and full of dread, or 2) not give a flying burrito and non-chalantly stride in with my jar full of jelly and tell the nurse "Crikey, I'm here to drop off some semen." I chose the second one - it was lots of fun.

      No. I don't know why I went Austrailian there for a minute.

      --
      He took a duck to the face at 250 knots.
    12. Re:Stopped reading at item 6 down the list by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      If you follow a course of IVF treatment, semen washing is a process to get rid of the other stuff and just get the sperm.

      Used if the egg and sperm need to be formally introduced, I think the other method is to just put the semen in the same dish as the eggs.

  3. Corpse-Flower Grower by Pharmboy · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I don't know if being a Corpse-Flower Grower is exactly as bad as a Semen Washer or Orangutan-Pee Collector. So the thing stinks and smells like dead flesh, wear a mask. Working in a diaper service washing area would smell just as bad, but those people don't get an article.

    --
    Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
    1. Re:Corpse-Flower Grower by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Eh, as far as semen washer goes, it's a lab environment dealing with milliliter-scale samples under a microscope.

      Not very icky, unless the subject of your efforts itself icks you out.

      I mean, I've worked with milliliter pipettes of concentrated sulfuric acid or nitric acid, that stuff scares me much more than some watery protein soup.

    2. Re:Corpse-Flower Grower by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      We have done the dirtiest/grossest/oddest jobs before.

      These are science/tech related jobs. I think you may have missed that connection. Although I am sure there is plenty of science associated with a diaper washing service, it's not really considered a science/tech field.

    3. Re:Corpse-Flower Grower by paladinwannabe2 · · Score: 1

      The Semen washer doesn't sound like a bad job either- You aren't exposed to toxins during the course of your work, all you have is social stigma. The other job that isn't that bad (from personal experience) is corpse cleaner. We used Carrion Beetles (this was at a Zoo, the Beetles were an exhibit) to clean the corpses for us- basically we just placed the corpse in a beetle tank, the Beetles would clear the flesh off the corpse in days, and then we could take the skeleton if we wanted it. It's not for the squeamish, but it's not dangerous (the beetles are harmless, and the corpses were usually fresh). Most of the other jobs sounds like they were pretty hazardous, with the ape pee collector being both humiliating and dangerous (at least in the wild, at a Zoo it wouldn't be bad).

      --
      You are reading a copy of my copyrighted post.
    4. Re:Corpse-Flower Grower by vandon · · Score: 1
      I don't know if being a Corpse-Flower Grower is exactly as bad as a Semen Washer or Orangutan-Pee Collector.
      At least you're not an Orangutan Semen collector that works in a Corpse-Flower forest.
    5. Re:Corpse-Flower Grower by Iamthefallen · · Score: 1

      The Semen washer doesn't sound like a bad job either-

      Actually, it sounds like a bad job, it just isn't.

      Just like being a packer at a fudge factory.

      --
      Wax-Museum Fire Results In Hundreds Of New Danny DeVito Statues
    6. Re:Corpse-Flower Grower by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Working in a diaper service washing area would smell just as bad, but those people don't get an article.
      That's because diaper service is an art, not a science.
    7. Re:Corpse-Flower Grower by dr_dank · · Score: 1

      That's because diaper service is an art, not a science.

      If scraping baby turds off of cotton makes one an artist, them I'm Van freakin' Gogh.

      --
      Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
    8. Re:Corpse-Flower Grower by Jugalator · · Score: 1

      Agreed; they're mostly going for extreme sounding things, not after how "yucky" things can be. There are plenty of regular jobs that doesn't sound too fun to me, just take a doctor doing prostate exams on random middle-aged men for example.

      --
      Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
    9. Re:Corpse-Flower Grower by Gracenotes · · Score: 1

      You seem to misunderstand the art/science issue somewhat, or you're just making a bad joke. When juxtaposed to science, an art is something that requires intuition and taking things as they come with adeptness, like looking at the quality of pencils as they pass by on a conveyor belt. A science is something that requires rational thought, like running the robot that cuts the wood into pencil shapes.

      The distinction on the list is not so much between art and science as it is between involving sickening substances and involving death. Spilling semen on your shirt is not quite the same thing as spilling magma on your jeans.

    10. Re:Corpse-Flower Grower by jc42 · · Score: 1

      Actually, the "corpse flower" (Amorphophallus titanum, or titan arum) usually just smells like a green plant. The dead-meat smell appears only during its bloom, which typically happens once a decade or so, and lasts less than a day.

      So other than the overpowering stench on the day it blooms, the rest of the time it's just another hothouse plant.

      If you want to cultivate a plant with an extensive stinky blooming period, there are some smaller arums that bloom repeatedly for months on end. But they usually have a much milder smell than the corpse flower, which can be smelled a block away if it's in the open.

      The reason for the stink, of course, is that these plants are adapted to being pollinated by flies, carrion beetles, and other insects that are attracted to manure or dead bodies. We should be glad that most pollinators are attracted to sweet, sugary smells.

      --
      Those who do study history are doomed to stand helplessly by while everyone else repeats it.
  4. Volcanologist? by demonbug · · Score: 2, Informative

    I'm not sure volcanologists really fit in this list. Most of their work these days is done through remote sensing (at least for volcanoes prone to explosive eruptions). Still dangerous to set up and service equipment, but I'm sure there are lots of more dangerous jobs around. And there really isn't that much dirt involved (ash, maybe - but it's good clean ash).

    1. Re:Volcanologist? by Poltras · · Score: 1
      it's good clean ash

      You don't clean sulfuric ashtrays everyday, do you?

      --
      Of Code And Men
    2. Re:Volcanologist? by krell · · Score: 1

      "You don't clean sulfuric ashtrays everyday, do you?"

      I see we have at least one guy here who has never held down a gig as the devil's butler! Sheesh!

      --
      Where were you when the voynix came?
    3. Re:Volcanologist? by parkrrrr · · Score: 1

      You mean that bit about having to fight their way through fogs of rocks and debris was just bad grammar?

  5. Hmm by Lurker2288 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I knew a girl in high school who wanted to work as a hot zone researcher; last I heard, she was applying to law schools. I'm not sure which profession involves more noxious material.

    1. Re:Hmm by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Sorry I missed the word "zone" while reading.

    2. Re:Hmm by bcmm · · Score: 1

      You knew a girl? You must be new here...

      --
      # cat /dev/mem | strings | grep -i llama
      Damn, my RAM is full of llamas.
  6. Not science jobs by Sir+Holo · · Score: 2, Insightful


    Many of these are not science jobs. And the ones that are, well, the dirty grunt work would be assigned to a technician. Or by grad students.

    Mut be a slow news day.

    1. Re:Not science jobs by UbuntuDupe · · Score: 2, Interesting

      It doesn't equate technicians with scientists. It just says that they are "jobs in science", i.e., a job whose effort is directed to a scientific end. The point is, these are things that need to be done to gain scientific knowledge.

      --NitpickDupe

      --
      Apology to Ubuntu forum.
    2. Re:Not science jobs by i_should_be_working · · Score: 4, Insightful

      the dirty grunt work would be assigned to a technician. Or by grad students.

      Which brings us to the real dirtiest job in science: being a grad student. It doesn't matter what crap jobs the scientists in the article have, it's still better than indentured servitude.

    3. Re:Not science jobs by Weedhopper · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Depends where you are. I'm an engineer and an epidemiologist. I work in and around IDP/refugee camps in developing countries and conflict areas. I do a lot of things, but I'm usually a water and sanitation guy, either building the system, investigating an outbreak or once I've figured it out, trying to stop it and stop it from happening again.

      Having a tech do it is great, but when you're the only guy around who remotely knows what he's doing, you're down in that pit latrine yourself.

      Whether I'm wearing my engineer's hat or my epidemiologist hat, it's likely to get a bunch of people poo on it.

    4. Re:Not science jobs by howlatthemoon · · Score: 1

      One, technicians are usually trained scientists, they may not have done post graduate work, but being a scientist is about how the person thinks and approaches problems, not what the degree says. Two, yes, I have done one of those jobs on the list, both as a grad student and after completing my Ph.D. If you want a properly prepared skeleton, you often have to clean the corpse yourself. A couple of the nasty parts of my job related to that were salvaging road kill for potential specimens for teaching and research, and week 15 of the term of a comparative anatomy course picking through the students cats and sharks for the least rotten to find specimens to use on the lab practical. Things have not been the same since they stopped using formalin in the preservatives.

  7. This has to do it, without a doubt by krell · · Score: 1

    1) Coprophagologist

    --
    Where were you when the voynix came?
  8. Hi this is Mike Rowe by up2ng · · Score: 1

    And this is Dirty Jobs.....of science. Tonight on discovery channel

    --
    Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion, you must set yourself on fire.
  9. poo sifter by jgercken · · Score: 3, Informative

    In college I did some research at the USEPA in Cincinnati on Cryptosporidium Parvum, a waterborne pathogen that causes tremendous diarrhea. The only way to grow them is in the gut of a neonatal animal (or human). We opted for mice and calves and this poor guy did nothing but scoop up cow poo and separate out the oocysts. For mice they would "homogenize" then separate the entire intestinal tract. What was really weird for me was that I would occasionally go and pick up a small 5ml vial that represented about a month of poo duty.

    --
    Never ascribe to malice what can be adequately attributed to ignorance. -Napoleon
  10. Dead Body Farm by rjdegraaf · · Score: 3, Interesting
    I ones saw a documentary on a forensic anthropology study how corpses evolve in environments like 'under 10cm leafes', 'in a trunk', etc. The study was for forensic investigations very important. Very sick job, but very important.

    http://www.deathsacre.com/

    1. Re:Dead Body Farm by Ana10g · · Score: 1

      Actually, studying the decay rates and byproducts of human (and non-hunam, for that matter) decay is pretty important. Such that several universities have body farms (much to the chaugrin of the towns in which they are located).

      --
      just an analog boy living in a digital age.
  11. What's wrong with vulcanologist???? by krell · · Score: 4, Funny

    "I want you to study T'Pol in depth and at at length and have a report on my desk by next Tuesday. Hopefully, there will be some hot eruptions."

    --
    Where were you when the voynix came?
    1. Re:What's wrong with vulcanologist???? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "I want you to study T'Pol in depth and at at length and have a report on my desk by next Tuesday. Hopefully, there will be some hot eruptions."

      ....Just don't include samples in your report!!!!

  12. Anthrax incurable? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Last I heard, it was curable.

  13. Norm MacDonald joke, sort of... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Science lab, assistant!

    Oh wait, ALL of the jobs in that list are assistant-type jobs.

  14. What happened to... by Deadstick · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...Freshman Dorm Custodian?

    rj

    1. Re:What happened to... by grassy_knoll · · Score: 1

      Covered under "Hot-zone Superintendent", I'd think... between piles of unwashed socks, three slices of formerly cheese pizza under the bed and various... erm, deposits of alcohol laden half digested nachos in the bathroom and you've got oodles of biohazards.

      In addition, you have to deal with freshmen.

      --
      A Human Right
    2. Re:What happened to... by eric76 · · Score: 1

      Ever heard of the Hotard Janitor?

    3. Re:What happened to... by B1ackDragon · · Score: 1

      I had that job, 2 years. It's fucking college, you'd think they'd know how to use a trash can. I once removed a used condom from the floor (which I did with a dustpan, which later got bleached.) I probably should have bitched to the RD, but oh well.

      Still though, not as bad as bailing hay, laying insulation, or sanding drywall on the ceiling...

      --
      The snow doesn't give a soft white damn whom it touches. -- ee cummings
  15. Research Assistant by nycsubway · · Score: 0, Redundant

    It's usually the research assistants that actually do these jobs, not the scientists.

    --
    http://github.com/gbook/nidb
  16. It's not poo, but ... by s20451 · · Score: 1, Interesting

    I'm thinking the IT profession has a dirty job.

    I did grad school in a place where there was not an enormous amount of money to go around, so computers would generally get passed from graduating students to new students.

    One of the grossest experiences of my grad school career was to take posession of one of these "hand-me-down" computers. You cannot imagine the grunge that came out of the keyboard. Crumbs, hairs, dandruff, even fucking fingernail clippings! Not to mention that gross skin-oil film on all the keys. euuuuwwwwwhhh ...

    You see things like that, and naturally you start wondering about the things you can't see. I didn't even want to touch the mouse. And this computer was owned by a MS student, who had been there for less than two years. The computer was new when he got it.

    The first thing I did was to run down to the local hole-in-the-wall computer joint and buy the cheapest keyboard I could find. The old one went into a corner and was never seen or heard from again (maybe it crawled away on its own, who knows).

    --
    Toronto-area transit rider? Rate your ride.
    1. Re:It's not poo, but ... by theGil · · Score: 1

      I worked as an IT guy for 3 years awhile back...I found some of the nastiest stuff in/on people's machines...spiders' nests, beehives, horrible grime (especially the tar from cigarettes...you would not believe how hard that sh** is to get off your fingers)...we even had one computer a customer's child had pissed in (she couldn't figure out why it didn't work anymore) :-(

    2. Re:It's not poo, but ... by hotdiggitydawg · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ewww poor baby

      Quit whinging. My first work experience was six months of grinding uranium ore. By hand. With a mortar and pestle. And the "protective gear" they gave us? A t-shirt and shorts. And I'm not kidding.

      Everyone's gotta spend some time at the bottom of the heap.

    3. Re:It's not poo, but ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      HOLY SMOKES THAT WAS FUNNY!!! My chest hurts I laughed so hard, too bad there's no +5 Hillarious!!!

    4. Re:It's not poo, but ... by hotdiggitydawg · · Score: 2, Funny

      Really... I wasn't kidding!

    5. Re:It's not poo, but ... by ozbird · · Score: 1

      Quit whinging. My first work experience was six months of grinding uranium ore. By hand. With a mortar and pestle.

      Luxury. We had to grind uranium ore in our teeth!

    6. Re:It's not poo, but ... by Dabido · · Score: 1

      'Quit whinging. My first work experience was six months of grinding uranium ore. By hand. With a mortar and pestle.

      Luxury. We had to grind uranium ore in our teeth!'

      Luxury that is! Pure Luxury!
      When I wa' a lad, we'd 'ave to grind the uranium ore with our own teeth, then when we died from radiation poisoning we'd 'ave to dig our own hole and bury ourselves in it. You tell that to a kid now-a-days, and they won't believe it!

      --
      Sure enough, the cow costume was hanging up next to the superhero outfit and sailors uniform. (S,Spud)
    7. Re:It's not poo, but ... by iq+in+binary · · Score: 3, Interesting

      He's not kidding, dude.

      I know, here in Colorado with the Arsenal Reclamation Project, they're cleaning up shavings from machinists having worked depleted uranium..........with a lathe..........wearing regular 'ol shop clothes. I've worked depleted Uranium with machine tools myself, not too entirely dangerous as long as you take precautions to prevent skin contact and inhalation.

      --
      Of all the Universal Constants, here's one I know: Nice guys finish last ;)
    8. Re:It's not poo, but ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      After we were done grinding Uranium with our teeth, we'd have to grind up our own teeth to get the rest of the Uranium out... with our teeth! Then when we dug graves to bury our own radioactive corpses, guess what we used to dig them. That's right, our own ground up radioactive teeth. Yeah, infected-poo sifters have it easy. By the way, we also had to sift our own radioactive poo for Uranium, and we did it using... well, you know the rest by now.

  17. Doesn't exist by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Interesting

    Working in a diaper service washing area

    Surely nobody in developed countries washes diapers anymore? Disposable ones cost a small fraction of the cost of having a non-disposable one washed. When did you last see non-disposable diapers for sale in a store? 25 years ago, maybe?

    1. Re:Doesn't exist by The+Good+Reverend · · Score: 1

      These guys would disagree.

      We've been using cloth diapers for my daughter since she was born (she's 4 months old now). The service (weekly pickups of dirty diapers and dropoffs of new ones) is actually less than the name brand disposable diapers. Even with the cost being above the non-name brand varieties, I like that I'm only contributing to the waste water problem, not the landfill problem.

  18. Real diapers still exist by everphilski · · Score: 1

    We almost used them for our first son, but we still lived in an apartment so the cost of doing them in a laundromat outweighed the cost savings of cloth over diapers. Now that we have a house and our own place we are seriously considering cloth diapers for kid #2. You wouldn't believe how much money you can save. $20 for a few weeks worth of diapers (and we purchase the cheap, Sam's Club, knockoff diapers in the 200 packs), versus 2 extra loads of laundry a week? You have to be kidding me, the cloth diapers FTW.

    1. Re:Real diapers still exist by eric76 · · Score: 1

      I've wondered why people don't just hang cloth diapers on the yard fence and rince them off thoroughly with a water hose.

      Your neighbor's garden would probably grow better, too.

    2. Re:Real diapers still exist by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 2, Informative

      Please use plenty of bleach on those cloth diapers.

      While walking in a nearby park, I noticed what looked
      like small squares of of artwork hanging on
      a chain link fence. At a distance I thought they were
      tie dye patterns.

      On closer inspection, they were cloth diapers hung
      to dry on the fence. The 'patterns' were various layers
      of faded shit and piss stains. Ugh.

    3. Re:Real diapers still exist by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Assuming they're clean and just visual stains, I doubt the baby or child services cares. Now, your neighbours might not like it, but then again, they probably don't like the red and blue paint you used on your house, either. :-)

  19. Re:How about by grozzie2 · · Score: 1

    Another slashdotter not quite clear on the concept of 'science'.

  20. dirty by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I don't know, this is pretty dirty http://www.easy-poll.com/sonda.vote.2.6979

  21. Not sure if this counts by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Not sure if "general practitioner" counts as a job in science, but a lot of the things physicians have to do are pretty unpleasant. When you are over 50, your physician is supposed to check your prostate for tumors regularly. I'm not sure whether it's more unpleasant to be the checker or the checkee in this process, but at least the checkee only has to go through it once a year. Most general physicians are probably doing this process at least once a week to somebody. And that's just one simple, routine, quick check on a healthy patient, involving only a small amount of excrement. When things have to be opened up, it can only get more repulsive.

    Several roles in health care are high-risk professions for AIDS. A nurse is much more likely to get AIDS on the job than, for example, a prostitute (in countries where sex services are legal and regulated).

    1. Re:Not sure if this counts by exp(pi*sqrt(163)) · · Score: 1

      Latex glove on, finger in, two second of probing, finger out, glove off. If you think that's one of the most disgusting things in life then you're in for a few surprises.

      --
      Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
    2. Re:Not sure if this counts by nosredna · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hell, that's a highly anticipated Friday night activity for some of us.

      ... what?

  22. Semen Washer? by El_Smack · · Score: 2, Funny

    According to ...err... documentaries I've seen, some portion of the female population doesn't seem to mind semen in/on/around them.

    --


    There are 01 kinds of cars in the world. The General Lee, and everything else.
    1. Re:Semen Washer? by blindd0t · · Score: 1

      That may be, but being a box of Kleenex tissues sitting in your home would be infinitely dirtier. Sorry d00d, but you opened your self up for that one.

    2. Re:Semen Washer? by mrbooze · · Score: 1

      The Semen Washer listing doesn't make sense at all. Oh no, the job involves handling test tubes with semen in them and processing it through machinery! What the hell is dirty about that? And how is it any "dirtier" than doing the same thing with blood or urine?

      The volunteer that cleans the dog kennels at the animal shelter has a dirtier job than that!

  23. dirtiest job? by dummkopf · · Score: 1

    having to do what my boss asks me to even though it might be unethical... that, indeed, is the dirtiest job in science...

  24. Obligitory Half-Life Comment by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    They forgot another one!

    "They're waiting in the test chamber for you, Dr. Freeman"

  25. your sig? by krell · · Score: 1

    "Wash, rinse, repeat unnecessarily"

    Dude, your SIG sort of contradicts your message.

    --
    Where were you when the voynix came?
  26. No Thanks by jellsworth · · Score: 1
    Actually that job is probably the cleanest of the list. There's no horrible smell and there's no touching of anything vile.
    1) Pipette drop of fluid onto slide.
    Mouth Pipette!?!
  27. Blasphemy! That's the gold of Science: discovery! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Besides, I thought the dirty work to do with Stephen Hawking would be whoever the poor soul is that re-programmes the speach-amplifier so the more common psychological impulses aren't verberated.

    Do you really -- REALY -- want to know what that man thinks about? Hint: It's not string theory, it's not the Universal Magnetic Field...

    It's... {wait for it}... The Core!

    *gasp* (mysteriously drops dead)

    -SlashdotTroll

  28. How do I apply to be a corpse-flower grower? by KokorHekkus · · Score: 1

    Having a seriously impaired sense of smell I would like to know. At least dealing with botanical specimens they wouldn't talk back and give you a load of crap in any other way.

  29. programmer... by MindDelay · · Score: 0

    my cubicle is a fucking mess.

    --
    Spiral out. Keep going...
  30. I'm not even supposed to be here today! by TheDukePatio · · Score: 1

    Randal Graves: Have you ever wondered how much the average jizz-mopper makes per hour?
    Dante Hicks: What's a jizz-mopper?
    Randal Graves: He's the guy that cleans up the nudie booth after each guy jerks off.
    .
    .
    .
    Dante Hicks: Could we not talk about this right now?
    Randal Graves: The jizz-mopper's job is to clean off the glass after each guy shoots a load. I don't know if you noticed, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.

    --
    To Alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
    1. Re:I'm not even supposed to be here today! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away"

      ach, leave it to dry and you can rub it off in flakes.

  31. Article was written by Candace Corner by El_Smack · · Score: 1

    Which explains why Semen Washer is on the list. I'd hate to be her husband.
    Me: Yes Yes Yes!!
    Candace: Auughh!! Get it off, GET IT OFF!!

    --


    There are 01 kinds of cars in the world. The General Lee, and everything else.
  32. easy... by Albert+Sandberg · · Score: 1

    #1 moderating slashdot

  33. Our uber advanced filter here at work... by thePowerOfGrayskull · · Score: 3, Funny
    .. it picked up on the word "dirty" in the headline and told me:
    Under the current [company name deleted] Information Technology Risk standards, a request for http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/Careers/10/26/cb.dirty. jobs/index.html is indicative of malicious activity. For more information regarding coporate [sic] policy, please refer to the following:

    Or maybe it was the word "careers" that tipped it off.

  34. What could be worse than... by exp(pi*sqrt(163)) · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...gynaecologist. You have to spend all day looking at the parts of women that they pee out from. What could be more disgusting? I can't imagine what they must pay those people.

    --
    Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
    1. Re:What could be worse than... by KokorHekkus · · Score: 3, Funny
      ...gynaecologist. You have to spend all day looking at the parts of women that they pee out from. What could be more disgusting? I can't imagine what they must pay those people.
      How about being a proctologist?
    2. Re:What could be worse than... by Monchanger · · Score: 1

      Again, missing the "scientist" thing. Studying science in college does not make one a scientist.

      Practicing doctors like the ones you suggest aren't real scientists. They don't discover new medicines and procedures. They merely use science others develop (which includes some, but not all the practicing MDs). You wouldn't call people who install networking equipment for a living "engineers", would you?

    3. Re:What could be worse than... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sure, why not? People who crap out code for a living call themselves Software Engineers.

    4. Re:What could be worse than... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A scientist is a person who studies science. That is all.

    5. Re:What could be worse than... by vishbar · · Score: 1

      Well, you pretty much summarized the Saturday of your average Slashdot reader :-P.

      --
      Ride the skies
    6. Re:What could be worse than... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      ...gynaecologist. You have to spend all day looking at the parts of women that they pee out from.
      Pee? Are you sure you're talking about the correct part?
  35. those poor indonesian scientists by circletimessquare · · Score: 1

    orangutang pee collector and corpse flower grower involve organisms that both originate on sumatra

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  36. Not an Enterprise viewer eh ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Vulcan women are major hot and cause lots of "hot eruptions", especially to Slashdot males...

  37. Hot-zone Superintendent by Plutonite · · Score: 1

    From the description you can infer they basically play Doom 3 for a living, sans the zombies.

    1. Re:Hot-zone Superintendent by dapsychous · · Score: 1

      The zombies come later, after the teleporter.

  38. Bravin' it by olego · · Score: 1

    But only the Epsilon get those jobs. I'm happy to be a Beta. I'm glad I'm not an Alpha.

  39. Nothing new for these "Dirty Jobs" by DestroyAllZombies · · Score: 1

    For those of you not acquainted with the Mike Rowe in the article, try watching his "Dirty Jobs" show for a while. You'll see the worst of these and more ... it may be a bad sign that my eight-year-old daughter is addicted to this show. It really only bothers me when he's "stimulating" a horse or such, but hey, my parents, grandparents grew up on farms. I mostly view it as the "go to college or else" show on TV.

    Manure Inspector
    I challenge anyone to find an episode without manure in it. Manure, or "poo" as he prefers, is the very heart and soul of this show.

    Orangutan-Pee Collector
    Hmm, he did stool collections from polar bears, or were they seals? About equivalent.

    Hot-zone Superintendent
    I'll back off on this. This is not the kind of dirt you wash off, these guys are heroes.

    Extremophile Excavator
    See above.

    Dysentery Stool Sample Analyzer
    Would it count with cows?

    Semen Washer
    As others said, nothing too dirty about looking through a microscope.

    Volcanologist
    Check. And too much fun to be called dirty.

    Carcass Cleaner
    Double check (and spectacular!).

    Fistula Feeder
    Is this better or worse than having your arm up to the elbow in a mare to check for pregnancy?

    Corpse-Flower Grower
    Not too impressed with this one. I realize botany is a science, but this sounds like smelly gardening. If it had to be fed with corpses I'd rate it higher.

    --
    This login name for sale.
  40. Here we go by Arwing · · Score: 2, Interesting

    George Bush science advisor? Science consultant for Fox News? Science teacher for Kansas?

  41. No matter how hard you try to stay clean... by smellsofbikes · · Score: 4, Interesting

    In our chemistry department, we had a lot of controls on exposure to chemicals: hoods, materials handling procedures, that kind of stuff. The prof who did tin chemistry, and almost all his grad students, had gray hair: a sign of tin poisoning.

    I worked in the microbiology department, in a pathogen lab, doing research on mycobacteria, specifically tuberculosis. Every semester we had to get tested for antibodies to TB (indicating that we'd been exposed) and every semester at least one researcher had.

    My best friend works as a clinical technician in a lab doing human tissue sample analysis. Pathology lab, basically. About a week ago they had a patient that was *really* sick with a bunch of nasty things, and they were working through samples, and one of my friend's coworkers started screaming because one of the stool samples *moved*. The patient had serious tapeworms, among other problems.

    We're thinking about going back to school and becoming art critics.

    --
    Nostalgia's not what it used to be.
    1. Re:No matter how hard you try to stay clean... by SonicSpike · · Score: 1

      Dealing with shit in a tube, or being a film critic? Not much difference there! :-P

      --
      Libertas in infinitum
  42. Re:How about by darkrowan · · Score: 1

    You missed the 'science' part there. What you listed were the worst 'Technology' jobs.

    --
    AccountKiller
  43. /proc looks clean. by NRAdude · · Score: 0

    It's /etc that is dirty with material that should've been sored in either /usr/etc or /usr/local/etc. And worse, sometimes I find horrendous growths materializing in /opt with their own /opt/bin!

    Don't let one of the Blue-Shirts look at it though... (*cough*BestBuySucks.com*cough*)

    --
    without prejudice
  44. American Gothic Reference by kmahan · · Score: 1

    Let's not forget the American Gothic episode titled "Meet the Beatles".

    --
    Invalid Checksum. Retrying.
  45. You need the Gay slapped out of you. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You must be one of those fancy Landscaping Artists too.

    I equate both as temporary evils that must be disciplined no less as little boys that poor sand down their ass cracks.

  46. Obligatory punch line by techno-vampire · · Score: 1

    Yes, I know, but that's the first time one ever looked back.

    --
    Good, inexpensive web hosting
  47. Dirtiest jobs in science... by QuantumFTL · · Score: 1

    The dirtiest jobs have got to be the politicians that fund (or don't fund) it.

  48. Hello Mike Rowe, these are Grammar Nazis by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    We evaluate the most unconventional and disappointing of work, known better as the "bread and butter" jobs America has to offer. Tonight and Today, on the reality spectrum.

    And this is Dirty Jobs.....of science. Tonight on discovery channel


    this (singular) is (pointer) Dirty Jobs (word of art/qualification, not a plural form used as singular noun that we are had to believe).

    Consider a title of nobility as a word of art, then we would have that Mike Rowe is chief holder of Dirty Jobs, and host(age) of the act (show) to perform on behalf of a mindless creature of the state known as Discovery Channel.

    With return of the constituency, Dirty Jobs would not be a title of nobility in the (confederation) United States of America because of the Articles of Confederation prohibiting "Titles of Nobility" from foreigners (Discovery Channel). As well, Dirty Jobs would not be a title of nobility in (federation) the United States because of the 1812 first/de-jure 13th amendment (TONA/Titles of Nobility Act). Insofar, Dirty Jobs would not be a title of nobility in any of the Abraham Lincoln 1871 (States of the united/state of the union) United: State (State of U.S.) because said created corporation (USC 27, 3002, 15(b) "United States" means a federal corporation) would need to perfect security to be trustee thus evincing that "Dirty Jobs" is in-fact a trademark.

    So think it as it is: Dirty Jobs is a trademark, not plural, not singular, devoid of use in the English and American languages, and anyone that uses it must immediatly receive an enema if the agents of Discovery Channel had not conferred use of it.

    Sincerily,
    mister Article-3
  49. Extracting fossils from tar by quixote9 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    The examples they mention are nothing. You have to gown up to work in the pathogen lab, which is inconvenient and annoying, but otherwise there's nothing to it. Dealing with stool samples, likewise. By the time the pathogist gets it, the sample is in buffer and doesn't even smell. (Well, not much.) No, the dirtiest job I've seen in science is extracting fossils from the tar goo at the La Brea tar pits. The fossil work is in digs below ground level. The tar pits are exactly that. It's not just some cute marketing name. Tar fumes are heavier than air. So the idealistic scientists are down there in what amounts to a huge bucket of tar, getting covered in black goo, and breathing chokingly horrible carcinogenic fumes. That's what I call a dirty job.

    1. Re:Extracting fossils from tar by Shadyman · · Score: 1

      That's what I call a dirty job.

      Just don't tell Mike Rowe. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dirty_Jobs

    2. Re:Extracting fossils from tar by quixote9 · · Score: 1

      ... ;-}

  50. Flakes? Help me out here please. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    First, I have never attended said booths or any arena for which people find as casual to partake in the process. I'm discreete and look at my nature as boring and bothersome to better things to do. Any manner of discharging my matter is for intent of returning to a day of work uninterrupted. I think my ejection is odd. Help me out here:

    So...when I'm aroused, I do my thing. It doesn't matter if there is 1 minute of preparation or 45 minutes of preparation (to Lesbian Strapon Porno). I notice large amounts of near-transluscent blobs with the ejaculate. When I try to wash them down the drain, they'll always get caught in the grill. After 20 minutes of showering water on them, they fade to a hard stringy mass remeniscent of gelatin but solid bright-white. Another thing, ever since I began this process the color began as a light-yellow. Only in the past 2 years has it began to be a off-white color, but I'm still haunted by the yellow color. I don't feel any pain and just want to "get it out." I noticed the odor changes to whatever I eat. Also, I think just my habit of "get it out" for the past 10 years has caused me to become allergic or have an odd Immune System response. The general area of my axle and pump is quite hot, even with my hand about 3 inches from the skin. Heat is pouring off the area even when I'm not "active." Also, in the past 4 years I have been unable to remove a horrible "itch" from my feet, under-arms, and (you guessed it) my "pumpkin root." The itch only goes away after I scratch the toplayer of skin off, and then to replace the the itch is the pain of the skin. No bleeding, just painful wetness of the skin exposed, and some plasma that stains the under-garmants a little. I think the pain might have somthing to do with under the skin because it just doesn't go away. I am scratching right now, every 30 seconds. If I make a brisk walk down the street, I can walk it away but it just depends if there is sweating and such. These past 3 years has been soarly interrupted by this. I've bathed in 20% bleech upto my lower-abdomen and it doesn't do anything to help. It's not correlated, just a side-effect or somthing that had slowly attached in parallel after the years.

    Can anyone explain this to me, if it's normal or not? It usually takes 2 days for a complete "reload" of the matter, and then it starts all over again. My shooter can fire a good 7 times, no pain, just itch. So please let me know what's up. Thanks.

    Sincerily,
    Modest and annoyed.

  51. Boating in a sewage lagoon by Frankenbuffer · · Score: 3, Interesting

    When I worked for a hydrographic company as a young physics student many years ago, one of my assignments was to run a series of sonar scans of the sewage outfall lagoon of a large city on Lake Ontario. I did the runs in a small inflatable Zodiac with an outboard motor. Fortunately I was given a survival suit, although if I'd fallen into that water, I would've preferred to die right away. Besides the usual turds and toilet paper floating around, there were the occasional rotting animal corpses and some of the maintenance workers said they often cleaned aborted fetuses out of the filtration screens. On the shores of the lagoon were washed up tens of thousands of plastic tampon inserters, all in pastel pinks and blues. the maintenance workers called them "beach whistles". Absolutely nothing grew near the lagoon, and one day we noticed that thousands of sea gulls--those hardy beasts!--had died after they poked around the dirt turned over by a bulldozer. Scary stuff.

    Anyway, after a few survey runs the outboard motor stalled right when I was in the middle of a large section of open water. I hoisted the prop out of the water and saw that it was completely wound up in dozens of used condoms that had got past the filtration screens. I had to free the prop using my Swiss Army knife. (I later threw away the knife.)

    The scariest thing was what I noticed the next morning. The day before, I'd dripped some of the lagoon water on the jeans that I was wearing under my survival suit. Overnight, the liquid had actually burned holes right through the fabric of my jeans, as if mice had gnawed them. I was totally freaked by that and since then I've always wondered what effect the noxious chemicals I probably absorbed that day will have on my long-term health.

  52. it really is bad by r00t · · Score: 1

    First of all, think about why the women bother. Many of them are diseased. Eeeeew. There's yeast, herpes, warts, and so on. Smelly discharges come in so many different colors!

    Most of the women will be kind of ugly. (fat, old, etc.)

    Suppose you do get a pretty one that isn't already dripping with semen. You can't let on that you notice, because you might get sued.

    Then at the end of the day, you go home. Your wife wants to have some fun in bed with you. Your reaction: not another! I mean, it's like taking work home with you. The novelty wears off, and anyway you've seen better. How are you going to enjoy the wife?

  53. Re:Flakes? Help me out here please. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    wow. That was like the text version of goatse or something. Thanks.

    Trying to poke out my mind's eye now.

  54. What for dinner tonight ? by alexandrecc · · Score: 1

    My girlfriend is a colorectal surgeon. Hi honey ! What are you cooking us for dinner tonight ?!

    --
    For(k;;)(Fork();)