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Jack Thompson Sues Microsoft
An anonymous reader writes to mention that Jack Thompson, in his latest bout of zealotry, has set his sights on Microsoft for their recent release of Halo 3. GameAlmighty has posted the letter to Bill Gates. "Here's the deal, Mr. Gates: Either Microsoft undertakes dramatic, real steps, through its marketing, wholesale, and retail operations to assure that Halo 3 is not sold, via the Internet and in stores, directly to anyone under 17, or I shall proceed to make sure that Microsoft is held to that standard by appropriate legal means. I have done that before successfully as to Best Buy, and I shall do so again as to Microsoft and all retailers of Halo 3."
April fools was last month.
----- You know you have ego issues when you register a domain in your name.
...because the low Earth orbit clutter problem just got a lot worse with all the pigs up there.
I mean, they must be, since I'm going to be rooting for Microsoft to win a lawsuit.
Reality has a conservative bias: it conserves mass, energy, momentum...
I never thought I would root for Microsoft, but I hope they destroy Jack Thompson.
Who do you root for in a case like this? I mean, I don't always approve of Microsoft. And Thompson, well... ...I take it back. Go Microsoft! Wipe the floor with this punk!
---GEC
I'm but the humble pupil, seeking to snatch the scratchbuilt pebble from the master's fully articulated hand
I think that God was trying to blast Jack Thompson with his lightning bolts and got Jerry Fallwell instead. A pity.
It's really quite a simple choice: Life, Death, or Los Angeles.
I will not be happy until every last video game is banned. Video games are the cause of all of society's problems. Stop creating them, you godless hackers.
Are you threatening me?
Yeah, thanks Jack. I really appreciate having to drive all the way to Best Buy (~30m) just so my 16 year old son can go buy Quake 4.
Answer: Humanity.
It'd make a good video game...
I don't seem to recall there being an actual law saying that you couldn't sell AO games to minors. Isn't it just a guideline?
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
The enemy of my enemy is my friend, right?
...so who do I root for here?
Paleotechnologist and connoisseur of pretty shiny things.
...stick a plasma grenade up your arse!
I wouldnt, who knows where that things been.
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
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Jack Thompson's goal isn't to prevent Halo 3 sales.
It's quite clearly to get himself and Microsoft's lawyers in the same room at the same time. That much concentrated evil will surely create a gateway to hell and let through all the imps, pain elementals, and cyberdemons. Then his purpose for preventing people kids from playing Doom will become clear as his armies rampage unhindered and he begins his thousand year reign over all the nations of the earth!
The television will not be revolutionized.
He just kicked the 800-pound gorilla in the nuts.
This is so wonderful. This story just made my day.
You are still innocent until proven guilty. What's changed is what they do to innocent people. - notnAP, #26891325
... Laywer Jack Thompson was killed in a tragic incident at his home a few minutes ago, early reports seem to indicate assassination by means of a thrown chair. The state of the scene have led police to believe a large ape like creature is to blame, local Zoo's have been contacted.
"I may be full of crap about this game, and I may be wrong, and that's fine." -Jack Thompson
As a parent I wish to let someone have the responsibility of bringing up my kids right, I am tired or trying to stop them doing things that they shouldn't...
I am going to buy Halo 3 for my own enjoyment, and I want Jack Thomson to personally come to my house here in PA and keep them out of the room so they don't see the graphic violence as I take the convenant and flood once more... You go Jack, I assume because your self righteous head is so far up your own self righteous ass, that you won't even need me to pay you...
I love you Jack, you are my hero, I hereby grant you all of my parental responsibility, since you are so much better at it than me. I urge parents on slashdot to do the same.
The man is an idiot, I bet the guy who reads Bill's mail got a good laugh. Jack Thomson should NOT breed.
I'm Australian. So unless you've got a thing for over-zealous, insane lawyers (or fat, dirty legal entities with rights similar to an individual), I'd suggest your girlfriend. Wait-
Hopscotch - an online comic.
The quote (bah, I didn't RTFA) says nothing about age.
Just let him do it, and then when he sues, Microsoft can just tell him that they didn't sell to anyone under 17" of height. Or cm, or mm, or lbs, or you get the idea.
Whom.
-- Jack O'Neill (two L's)
!#@%*)anks for hanging up the phone, dear.
Please crush Jack Thompson in a very public way. Show the world how mistaken he is, and make him a laughingstock.
For this, I would change my position and buy an XBox.
Thank you.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
... perhaps it's time Jack Thompson had his own icon.
It could look like that Marge Squirrel from that episode of The Simpsons when Marge was all upity against Itch and Scratchy.
Just a thought.
More Twoson than Cupertino
Agreed completely. Jack is off his rocker.
But didn't you hear? Halo taught Malvo how to circle-strafe, camp, AND recharge his shields by not getting hit.
And, if he would have waited and trained on Halo 2, he would have learned how to hold two weapons at the same time!
Earn a % of cash back from Newegg, Tiger Direct, Walmart.com, and more: http://www.mrrebates.com?refid=458505
I did not rtfa, but I have read letters from him, and they all read very amateurish.
/.
Seriously, I don't know where he got his degree, but I ahve seen more articulate posts on
A goodly portion of his letters is often defending himself again perceived slights to be.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
>>If anything the ATF could be expanded to include all age monitored sales and have that body
/set +m on your phone, get root on all your doors and windows, then packet-flood your entire house and disable your login privledges.
>>in charge of enforcing the rules. I doubt it would be that simple though.
Trust me. You don't want that. The ATF is the most corrupt, jack-booted, and violent branch of our Department of Justice.
They'll show up at 3am, kickban your dog,
Then they'll url-redirect you out onto your front lawn with your monitor turned off while a few of them scan your hard drives, they'll telefrag you, and then they'll install Zango on your house and tell tech support to stay back (with a few compelling waves of a submachine gun) while it crashes.
Don't ever ask the ATF to get involved with anything.
... sue him first.
UTF-8: There and Back Again
good luck with that jack.
and by 'good luck' I mean, 'I hope you die in a fire'
Snowden and Manning are heroes.
Before that can happen we need someone to make a pie throwing game to train us.
No, it would read: That's the dumbest fucking letter I've read since I've been at Microsoft. Regards, Bill Gates.
JEG / SYD / AU
Agreed.
Suddenly, "This is the dumbest fucking idea I have ever heard while I have been with Microsoft!" was heard outside Billg's office...
This is like goatse vs tubgirl.
/. needs a "fuckyoujackthompson" tag.