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The Postal Movie is Really Bad
Chris Kohler and Chris Baker of Wired had the deeply unfortunate task of watching Uwe Boll's latest affront to cinema and gaming: Postal. Kohler has a rundown on the exceedingly strange movie and its premiere. "Boll seems out to shock his audience into stunned disbelief rather than actually entertain them. Early in the movie, we get a long, leisurely shot of a fully nude Foley scratching his reproductive organs. I don't want to sound like I personally was offended or shocked by anything. In fact, the only time I laughed was during the movie's opening sequence, a comedy skit in the cockpit of one of the September 11 airplanes (they're fighting over the number of virgins they get in Paradise). It was legitimately well-paced and funny. But it was followed by 90 minutes of flat jokes." Baker has a much more in-depth look at Boll and the film's background ... if that's something you really want to hear about.
Postal is bad, and water is wet.
Beware the fury of a patient man
- John Dryden
... I really, really don't know what words can be used to describe what I just read. Really. I don't. September 11th and Nazi gold jokes are bad enough, but is the world really ready for a movie featuring Dave Foley scratching his fully exposed balls?
My own pointless vanity vintage computing page
I mean, it's about an Uwe Boll movie. Of course the movie sucks!
Goatse, The Movie. I hear the directors cut will include three hours of extended footage added to the already lengthy 2 hour and 30 minute film. I also hear he borrows extensively from Gus Van Sant.
Uwe Boll appearing in person at his films première , brave very brave shame no one decided to do films a favour and go Postal on him.
To err is human. To forgive is not company policy.
Uwe Boll is the only director who can make the average Troma film look like high art. Has he ever made a decent film? If the news that there is Postal movie wasnt bad enough, gamers can look forward to having Dungeon Siege, Legacy of Kain and Far Cry are all due to get the Boll treatment soon enough. After House of the Dead, I refuse to see them in theatres, refuse to rent them, definately refuse to buy them, if more did the same maybe studios would get the hint and stop giving this bozo money.
Who would think a movie about the US Postal Service would be exciting? Puhleeeaze. What's that, TFA? No. I didn't read it. Why do you ask?
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
Someone couldn't have really expected that a Uwe Boll movie was going to be good, could they?
The submitter is clearly trying to win the "Worst Story Title Ever" award.
A vast improvement:e lated&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfNWCCbD1uA&mode=r
3. Profit!
2. ???
1. On Soviet Slashdot, a Beowulf cluster of alien Natalie Portman overlords welcomes YOU!
I think that was the idea....
The thing that makes Uwe Boll movies even worse than they already are is his dickish attitude. Lets not forget that he got into a boxing match with some of his most disliked movie critics, but only after denying them the training he had promised, as well as screening out the few with real experience. So he is a totally talentless asshole whose sole job it is to ruin franchises that we all hold dear. Germany really has to stop subsidizing him- it really makes a mockery of the the tax break meant to fund "art".
La Beste, it's french, it's from the 70s. It's not a monster movie. It's a movie which starts off with graphic horse sex, including licking of ejaculate, a fair amount of nudity, and the kind of epic puppetry which would make Steve-O blush and put Wondershowzen to shame. I thought I was going to see a horror movie, and I ended up laughing my ass off and something which seems like it'd be illegal to show, and would currently be completely illegal to make. Watching some random french chick getting raped then tit-fucked by an ejaculating puppet can apparently have that effect. In 30 years Postal may well be confusing, and funny beyond all good taste and reason.
a little while (or am I dreaming?) back that said this movie was actually pretty good. What happened?
The major characters in the comic The Whiteboard are drawn as various animals. The big polar bear is Doc, the main character.
http://the-whiteboard.com/autowb643.html
http://the-whiteboard.com/autowb645.html
steveha
lf(1): it's like ls(1) but sorts filenames by extension, tersely
Lame game gets made into even lamer movie. I know I'm shocked.
Uwe Boll: INTERNET BADASS
...please stop making movies.
Maybe the fact that the trailer has the only good scene will finally create a case for consumer fraud against Boll?
... as the next guy. But I think Uwe found the genre he belongs to.
The trailer of this movie looks very interesting from a very very bad movie that requires watching with friends and a lot of beer.
We've all heard how Boll is exploiting some tax loophole by watching expensive & unwatchable flops, but how do the investors make money? There must be a site that explains it in detail what is happening. And given that, why haven't the German government closed this loophole to but this jerk out of business?
You know what the deal is with Uwe Boll and his horrible movies based on video games? I'm betting it's Hollywood's revenge against the video game industry for making more in sales than movies get in box office receipts (obligatory Wikipedia link).
Modern copyright is theft of culture from everyone and it retards the progress of the useful arts and sciences.
Sounds like Blood Circus all over again. Did they have a "rock star" sing the praises of Postal too?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pa51xwO4Toc
This is insightful!
I was REALLY excited when I learned that A. They were making a Postal movie and that B. it would be made to be as absolutely offensive as possible. I adored the original two games (because, let's face it, after a really bad day at work, Postal was the perfect game to play) and I appreciated their very twisted humour.
I cannot wait to be able to actually get my hands on this. Just about all of his past movies have been travesties, but in all honesty I think he was the right guy to pick to make this movie.
Living With a Nerd
Worth quoting the Wikipedia entry on Boll:
Whine about his works as you like; he is actually DOING SOMETHING, and doing it legitimately (albeit badly), and making a bunch of money at it. All this nattering hype IS providing publicity - and there is no such thing as bad publicity, as shown by the number of copies that will be sold/rented just from "it's horrible, we gotta see it" hype from this thread alone.
I'm reminded of the old Bo Jackson commercials, where the narrator runs thru a long list of what Bo knows & does - then stares at the camera and shouts "and what are you doing? WATCHING COMMERCIALS!" Uwe is making movies and rolling in $XXXM in revenue; you're on Slashdot whining about it.
Can we get a "-1 Wrong" moderation option?
House of the dead was a *great* freakin' movie. It was the least scary, most unintentionally funny bad movie since Deep Blue Sea. And that's saying a lot. I mean, come one! Who else would include actual game footage every time someone bit it? That was brilliant! It was so brilliant, Doom copied it, only they didn't include actual game footage, and it wasn't when the hero died (damnit).
Okay, "Alone in the Dark" shat. I refused to see BloodRayne, 'cause it had a stupid title, and I hated the game. But House of the Dead was at least as good as either Fantastic 4 movie (and I'm not talkin' the Roger Corman movie from the 80s, either).
For bad movie night, there're only three movies: Deep Blue Sea, Reign of Fire, and House of the Dead. Well, unless you want to go old school, and watch Psychomania or Frogs.
Microsoft is to software what Budweiser is to beer.
Considering the topic at hand, I think such a concise but accurate title is completly appropriate.
I never spellcheck and I freely admit it. Save your karma for more worthwhile "lol erorrs" replies
He did lay out quite a decent ass-whoopin on 1 in particular...but that was unfair because you can tell he knows *something* about boxing, and he should considering how many times HE got his ass kicked for making terrible movies and being a shill.
Beware: Raging Boll will kick your ass if you criticize his films!
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
"Boll seems out to shock his audience into stunned disbelief rather than actually entertain them."
That's the whole POINT of the Postal series. Let's go down the list of noteworthy (ha!) features of Postal 2:
- Stereotypical Middle-Eastern characters invariably being terrorists
- Being able to urinate on people
- Shooting anti-videogame protestors
- Being able to put cats on the muzzle of a shotgun to act as silencers
- Gary Coleman acting generally petulant
I can go on, but I won't. The entire premise of the game is to be as offensive to as many people as possible. It has a very narrow range of people (like me) that will find it funny - pretty much every reviewer said the games were crap, too. The movie is not going to be any different.
Probably could have guessed this. The Postal Community was interesting and rather tight-knit. Say or think what you like about the game but there were those who really enjoyed it. That said, the entire premise of a movie coming out of it was kind of a shock. Postal (2) is horribly offensive. It's developers last I was aware where barely keeping head above water. This is not a combination for good or even tasteless movie making.
That said, the game is some of the most fun I've had. I started because they released a Linux demo originally. I believe I read about it here. Good times, funny people (and of course some remarkably shitty ones). But a movie?
Quack, quack.
Prov 9:8 Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you.
He threw a huge hissy fit.