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Vista Pirates To Get "Black Screen of Darkness"
jcatcw writes "Microsoft has just turned on Reduced Functionality mode, worldwide, and sent a letter to OEMs explaining the consequences of Vista piracy. These include a black screen after 1 hour of browsing, no start menu or task bar, and no desktop. Using fear as a motivator, the email warns resellers to 'make sure your customers always get genuine Windows Vista preinstalled.'"
Isn't using Vista enough punishment in itself?
Comment removed based on user account deletion
So when your legit copy of Vista dumps you to a blue screen of death, you can rest assured that you are experiencing the Genuine Advantage.
Sorry, it was too easy.
How hysterical. Earlier the blue screen of death came at no charge. No you have to pay to get the black one.
Yes, it does. My guess is that M$ turns your computer into a node for some sort of grid computer they are running, which will run DDOS attacks on mirrors.kernel.org.
Palm trees and 8
Black Screen of Darkness Assails the knave
Defend yourself
With your shaving glaive
And the white foam of truth:
Burma Shave
Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
Good afternoon, as of this week, Microsoft has activated a function in Vista called 'Reduced Functionality.' This is a specific function in Vista that effectively disables nongenuine copies of Windows. Therefore anyone who has a pirated copy of Vista will experience:
"The Need to move to Mac OS X"
Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d encule de ta mere.
Vista may actually be usable like that. Why aren't Microsoft sharing this upgrade with their paying customers?
Finally Emo kids will have an operating system that matches their souls!
The year of linux is already here.
It's just not evenly distributed.
You need to revisit Tolkien. Like Microsoft, Sauron initially gave away lesser rings for free. If you needed a ring of power, Sauron was the guy to go to. There were other rings of power, available, of course. Most notable were those forged by two hobbits named Linwise Torvalds and Dick Stallyman. But their rings achieved little success, so great was the marketing genius of Sauron, servant of Melkor, who is Morgoth, Black Foe of the World.
Once Sauron had achieved market dominance (also like Microsoft), he then unveiled the One Ring, complete with Mordor Genuine Advantage.
If the copy of Vista is illegal, the machine will slow down, crash, and become vulnerable to viruses.
So, how does that differ from legal copies?
Slow down, cowboy! It has been 4 hours since you last posted. You must wait another few hours.
I'm getting a kick out of this discussion because I am sitting here downgrading two new machines which came infected with vista to XP.
- My Grandmother
- My Girlfriend
- My Mother
But they are all Linux users now, and amazingly it was out of need. The family wanted a way to see me live when I was in far away places (which is most of the time now) and to defeat the shitty Verizon DSL firewall, I used a Linux solution. The girlfriend needed her laptop's battery life to be very long, and Fedora outlasts Vista by almost 3 hours.So here is the revised list:
Palm trees and 8
If Microsoft does not shut down the networking on this 'nongenuine' machine than they also just provided alot more CPU resources to the botnet owner. Just think what resources have been freed up by killing the Windows desktop and task bar.
;-)
I wonder if the Accept/Deny dialogs will still pop up asking the user to allow installing software to view naked Portman pictures?
LoB
"Anyone who stands out in the middle of a road looks like roadkill to me." --Linus
Remember the WGA outage a few weeks ago, when suddenly nobody could connect and verify their license? That was the beta-test for it on their servers.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
I think it'd be quite fun to see the blue screen and a black screen battle in a fight to the death.
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
Mate, in Aussie, I used to repair peoples computers and constantly used to hear, "oh, yeah, I've got a copy of Windows, I picked it up really cheap in Bali when I was on holiday".
"This is further evidence that Microsoft products are harmful to all consumers."
Fixed that for you.
http://www.mhall119.com
Actually, I think Microsoft should force the user to download security patches. I know most people I talk to think that waiting for software patches is punishment, especially over a slow modem.
"You are required to download 900MB of patches. Estimated time until completed is 8 hours, 23 minutes. Allow us to stream this anti-piracy movie while your computer is inaccessible. Download time now increased to 10 hours, 42 minutes".
Yea,
I've seen people spend 15 minutes of their time to save $2 on a gasoline fillup.
Do the math...
She was like chocolate when she drank... semi-sweet at first and then increasingly bitter.
I'd call it a VDDOS (Vendor-Driven Denial of Service) attack on Microsoft's own customer base.
{sigh} Stupid is as stupid does.
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
Don't forget, the rule of twos:
With windows, it works for two hours and never again.
With Linux, it takes two hours to get it working, then you never have to fuss with it again.
With Mac, you spend two hours finding and app that does what you need, but it "just works".
Going for +5 Funny and falling far short.
APK quotes people (including myself) without context and should not be trusted. Just thought you should know.
Want to know a faster way to install SP2? See the parent post!
"Let us play this MP3 file you've got here. Whoops! Download time now increased to 13 hours, 15 minutes."
We are just lucky that the Microsoft WGA mechanism has worked so flawlessly in the past. ...
Not a single hickkup or false positive, no issues at all with genuine copies being correctly authenticated and
Wait, what do you mean "Today is not not opposite day"?
+++ MELON MELON MELON +++ Out of Cheese Error +++ redo from start +++
Quality-wise, wouldn't you consider Windows Me the worst? Even with all the updates that OS was a nightmare.
:P
When I imagine the timeline of Windows releases, somehow ME doesn't even appear there
I just spend two hours "downgrading" to XP on my new laptop. Pirating Vista would be like stealing a Yugo.
I bet next week we will see explorer chewing up all the memory billed as an "anti-virus" measure - see, if there is no free memory, viruses cannot run. Trust us, its worth the extra money. Upgrade now.
-Em
RelevantElephants: A Somatic WebComic...
But I thought "Reduced Functionality Mode" was the NORMAL operating mode for any version of Windows!
Bwaahahahahahahaha!!!
Little pissants! Is that all you've got, huh? Are you nuts? Come at me!
Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
That analogy certainly doesn't fit very well. After all, the consumer paid for a bag of flaming shit, and not an Apple.
Win dain a lotica, en vai tu ri silota
Absolutely, it's appalling that when I want to replace the drive in my MacBook I have to:
Reverse the procedure using the new hard drive and I'm done.
Damn you Apple, how dare you make my life such a misery.
(Now to start Googling on how on earth I replace the hard drive in my Toshiba - the computer that's actually broken...)
Using HTML in email is like putting sound effects on your phone calls. Just say <strong>no</strong>.