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Genetic Modification Produces Mighty Mouse

Identity Missing writes "An Ohio laboratory has produced genetically modified mice which 'can run five to six kilometres at a speed of 20 meters per minute on a treadmill, for up to six hours before stopping,' as well as a number of other remarkable feats. An enzyme called phosphoenolypyruvate carboxykinases (PEPCK-C) is apparently responsible, and we should hope that the scientists are correct in saying that athletes won't be modifying their genes any time soon to get it, because it apparently makes the mice more aggressive. If anyone feels a super villain coming on, at least we can rely on these Mighty Mice. A video demonstrates just how much these little guys beat the competition."

23 of 320 comments (clear)

  1. What Are We Doing Tonight Brain? by AmIAnAi · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world.

    --
    Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
    1. Re:What Are We Doing Tonight Brain? by ZeroExistenZ · · Score: 4, Funny

      But Brain, why the toga? No one's worn those in years. Except for that one really strange man in Lancaster-Shire.

      --
      I think we can keep recursing like this until someone returns 1
  2. Well, you know the next step... by NotQuiteReal · · Score: 5, Funny

    Someone will just have to build a better mousetrap!

    --
    This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
    1. Re:Well, you know the next step... by salec · · Score: 5, Funny

      Or GM the cats same way, too!

    2. Re:Well, you know the next step... by Belacgod · · Score: 4, Funny
      They'll be taken out by the Toyota cats and mice.

      Damn Japanese imports.

  3. I for one by WormholeFiend · · Score: 5, Interesting

    hope that these rodents don't escape the lab.

    Ordinary mice are hard enough to control as pests...

    1. Re:I for one by Daniel+Dvorkin · · Score: 5, Insightful

      My suspicion is that they wouldn't do well in the wild. Aggression and strength in the natural world have to be balanced with food requirements, which is basically why not every living thing is super-strong, super-fast, and super-tough. Dire wolves are gone for a reason ... These mice "eat twice as much and weigh half as much," which sounds great to people living in the modern industrialized world, but is a pretty serious liability for a wild animal.

      Also, they may be amazingly tough for mice, but you know, they're still mice. No matter how big and strong they may be, there are still plenty of critters bigger and stronger than they. If their aggression translates into a lack of caution around predators, then they'd essentially be nothing but a nice lean snack for health-conscious cats. ;)

      --
      The correlation between ignorance of statistics and using "correlation is not causation" as an argument is close to 1.
  4. So by hcdejong · · Score: 4, Funny

    Acme Labs is at it again?

  5. Whatever you do... by lonesome_coder · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...don't make them angry. You wouldn't like them when they are angry...

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    If you'd just do what we tell you and quit yer gripin' everything would be chocolate sprinkles and rainbows! -AC
  6. obligatory response by ByOhTek · · Score: 5, Funny

    In Soviet Russia, meme botches you!

    --
    Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
  7. Cool. by Stanistani · · Score: 5, Funny

    Overclocked mice! Do they have an overheat problem?

  8. PEBCAK? by Blakey+Rat · · Score: 4, Funny

    Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard? I had no idea it could be applied for this purpose!

  9. I have a mighty mouse.... by NPN_Transistor · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have a mighty mouse, yet it can't "run five to six kilometres at a speed of 20 meters per minute on a treadmill", feel aggression, or do "a number of other remarkable feats". All it does is sit in my hand and make clicking noises when I try to pet it. It runs a lot longer than "six hours", but it doesn't seem to do anything else. It doesn't seem to have any eyes or a tail either. I think it might be defective... maybe I should return it to Apple.

  10. If they experimented on humans this much... by porkThreeWays · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I've always wondered what would be possible if humans were regularly experimented on in the same fashion. Of course it's unethical, but I bet we'd have humans that can live 300 years and run 10,000 miles at a clip if we cut out the middle man ;)

    --
    If an officer ever threatens to taze you, say you have a pacemaker.
    1. Re:If they experimented on humans this much... by Scrameustache · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Why is it unethical? If you could save thousands of lives by curing a disease, but curing the disease required potentially deadly experiments on a few people, wouldn't it be unethical NOT to proceed with the research? You first.
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      You can't take the sky from me...

  11. Mighty? by robably · · Score: 5, Funny

    So the modified mouse runs on the treadmill for six hours, while the normal mouse has a nice sit down and watches it. Maybe this modification just makes mice stupid.

  12. Smarter mouse? by oo7tushar · · Score: 5, Funny

    All I see is the that the "slower" mouse realizes that they're going nowhere on the treadmill.

  13. RTFA much? by cduffy · · Score: 5, Informative

    Ten times as many mitochondria in the muscles.

    1. Re:RTFA much? by nomadic · · Score: 5, Funny

      I think you mean midichloridians.

  14. Steroids make people more agressive, too. by mr_mischief · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I see little reason to think that we'll see any social arguments about this genetic modification that we don't already see about a) steroids, hormones, and precursors or b) genetic modifications in general.

    Isn't this linked to the Wired article from over three years ago about experiments at Howard Hughes Medical Institute in which researchers were messing with PPAR-delta and got similar results? Where's the reference to earlier work on the subject?

  15. This has me worried by rbanzai · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Originally genetic modification was just things like making mice glow. Now they're creating results that would be appealing to exactly the wrong people: the military.

    As soon as a science has military application it gets billions poured into it. Even if there are beneficial offshoots to the research that follows the repercussions are usually awful. Think atom bombs and biological weapons.

    It is not unreasonable at this point to wonder where we're going to end up as a species. If we can genetically create human beings with abilities that far outpace anything an unmodified can do will that become the norm?

    In my lifetime (40 years) genetic modification has gone from theory to fact. I am worried that it will be horribly abused.

  16. They need to create "Bunny" version by denis-The-menace · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Energizer battery company would pay big $ for such a LIVING mascot.
    With all that $, they'll be able to fund future research...

    --
    Obama's legacy: (N)othing (S)ecure (A)nywhere and (T)error (S)imulation (A)dministration
  17. Site not Slashdotted? by JJRRutgers · · Score: 4, Funny

    A direct link to a Quicktime movie on the headline and the host server didn't get slashdotted? I wonder if they applied the same genetic modification to the server?