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Microsoft CIO Stuart Scott Gets Axed
avjt writes "Microsoft has terminated its CIO Stuart Scott for 'violation of company policies'. They won't elaborate. Now what do you think this guy has done?" Ya know, I'm positive someone reading this story knows the answer to the mystery... and they could post it anonymously and be totally fine because there will be a hundred other totally wrong guesses and it would be completely impossible to distinguish the two ;)
Time to google for articles where he said something good about Linux...
Got fed up with Vista and installed $SOME_DISTRO instead. :-)
:-(
Somehow this is gonna cost me karma...
Someday, I'll have a real sig.
Taco said in one of his write-ups, comments will (very rarely) be removed for legal reasons.
Whichever post dissapears after MS sends an email threatening legal action. That is the reason... Everyone, ready your screenshots!
Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
When filling out a form, under the section that said 'DO NOT WRITE ANYTHING BELOW THIS LINE' he wrote 'OK'
He bought a Sony Playstation 3, then looked for help setting it up via Google on his Linux based computer.
balmer run out of chairs to toss! so he moved onto the management, which is a smart move they are thick as wood anyways
He was baggin' Belinda.
he deemed himself the "chief indecent officer", came to work naked, and refused to let anyone not notice his lack of clothes lolololol
Got caught playing with his Wii
... telling Apple how to implement a Blue Screen Of Death in MacOS X.
Stuart L. Scott's middle name is Linus.
...often the reality is much simpler and mundane... What are you doing bringing reality into this? We're trying to film the nerd equivalent of 90210 here, and you barge in with your 'reality' like it actually means something!A test came back negative -- his body was NOT composed of pure evil, which of course violates MS company policy. Subsequent tests confirmed it, although he is appealing to the World Anti-Doping Agency. Floyd Landis was unavailable for comment.
Oh, yeah, it's not easy to pad these out to 120 characters.
Hey, I like how you just copied a post directly off the story site! That's the spirit of re-use in action.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
He told Clippy to, and I quote, "Get Bent".
Ballmer found out he named his kids Ubuntu and Google
Speedy thing goes in; speedy thing comes out.
Terminating him seems a bit harsh - couldn't they just have sacked him?
...that he's the BOFH? In which case expect him to be back within a week with a 20% raise, and Steve Ballmer nowhere to be found.
Pamela Jones!
Sean Ellis
Follow OfQuack's antics on Twitter.
#Comment Deleted for Legal Reasons#
Nonsense! Balmer wouldn't do that to his CIO!
Somebody who is never at home anyway. Nannies deal with the kids.
"Little does he know, but there is no 'I' in 'Idiot'!"
Seriously...who has SEVEN CHILDREN? On PURPOSE?
Mormons... The correct answer is Mormons.
Undoubtedly because he was caught using an iPhone or an iPod touch. Or perhaps he brought a MacBook Pro to work. I can see it now!
...Er...It's only running Vista, if that helps. I erased that...oh-so-lovely (whoops) Mac operating system...Mac X, or whatever it's called...
:P
Ballmer: What the fuck is that?
Scott: Oh yeah, it's a MacBook Pro. Sexy piece of kit, isn't it?
Ballmer: What the fucking fuck? Fucking sexy? No, it's not fucking sexy. It's fucking Apple, that's fucking what. What the fuck?
Scott:
Ballmer: You fucking fuck! Get the fuck out of my fucking face!
Ballmer grabs a chair. Scott exits quickly stage left.
He violated the terms of the EULA.
Seriously...who has SEVEN CHILDREN? On PURPOSE?
My mom.
Really, no joke. I'm the 6th of 7. Not saying she isn't insane, just saying some people want lots of kids.
Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
The real reason for this should be immediately obvious to anyone as schooled in espionage as I am.
A common gambit for agencies wishing to implant a mole into a rival agency is to first of all establish their lack of attachment for the potential mole, common techniques for this are high profile embarrasing sackings or similar. Just as we see here.
Don't be surprised to see this guy revert to the life of an itinerant alcoholic for a while telling the world about how he made it big with one of the top dogs in the software industry and how he could have been great if the bastards hadn't dragged him down like that and how he'd do anything for revenge.
The aim obviously is for him to be hired by Red Hat or someone similar where he can then work from within to destroy them.
It's all obvious for those looking at the right signs.
One went to wrong place and they are five
One learned to fly a plane (almost) and they are four
One was a brave astronaut until shuttle crashed
One slept with wrong wife and they are two
One used wrong crack and there is only one
Last boy is a nerd. End of your genealogy tree.
There's your answer - he pushed them to use Vista internally.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
He refused to swallow anymore.
Well, that's what ValleyWag says he was doing...
rj
you are not supposed to promote your lover way beyond his or her level of competence.
Please report to the nearest citizen reeducation station for a much needed humor implant.
Mark who?
He should have read the ToS before he broke open the shrink-wrap on his office.
"It's the height of ridiculousness to say for those 9 lines you get hundreds of millions."
I guess he'll never be promoted to chair-man of the board.
Imagine a young single woman named Eula getting hired by Microsoft, one day yelling in the back of a car, "Violate me! Violate me!" If the guy is also a MS employee, do you think he'll get canned?
Clemens.
(wait for it...)
Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
My guess is snuff, kiddie pr0n, or necrophilia. Or he may have really crossed the line and gotten into the furry stuff.
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne