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Wired's 2007 Vaporware Awards
Braedley sends word that Wired's annual vaporware list is up, and a number of products this community has discussed made the cut. The top spot, the position of most dishonor, was almost a foregone conclusion. "Another December, another list, another crowning achievement by the Emperor of the Ethereal, the Head Honcho of Hype, Duke Nukem Forever. We were going to disqualify him out of pity, but Sir Duke is back for 2007 thanks to a few leaked screenshots and an overwhelming number of votes. DNF creators 3D Realms even chose this week to debut a well-publicized video trailer for Duke's long-awaited return. Alas, a trailer is not a game, so — long live the king!"
I've been playing a beta of DNF for a few weeks now I got from an insider and it is fucking awesome. According to my sources, it will be ready to ship to stores in mid-February. Hail to the king baby!
Actually, 2007 saw a bunch of high-profile projects climb from "vaporware" to "disappointment": Vista was released widely, OLPC produced a couple of semi-solid deals out of their usual fog of hype, even that Chandler email/PIM thingy managed some sort of alpha release.
Maybe they keep releasing Duke Nukem screenshots on occasion as some kind of a running gag? I guess the real joke's on Duke Nukem fans in that case. =)
-Vendal Thornheart
I don't see how this is so much 'vaporware' as 'what people would really like'. Blizzard hasn't made an announcement or even a hint that they're making it, after all. And boy, do I hate seeing the list one item at a time.
How can an unannounced product be vaporware?
Chinese Democracy has been vaporware for what, eight years now? And is anyone really looking forward to it anyway?
-Matthew Riley "TofuMatt" MacPherson
I have a website
Why don't they just give the Duke the Vaporware Lifetime Achievement Award so we can carry on with our lives...
The last line in the summary should be "Hail to the King baby!"
C'mon! How could they do a homage and NOT have that line?
Just because they shipped it, doesn't mean it is still not vapor. Microsoft has been proving this for years.
When I saw DNF in your post and in a glance-through of the article, I thought you/they were using DNF to denote vaporware status to one of the products until I realized that you (and probably they) were specifically referring to Duke.
This makes me think that they never planned to finish DNF; this is all just a big joke, right from day one.
The CB App. What's your 20?
I nominate slashdot's new discussion system.
At the bottom of the
Good News: Duke Nukem Forever is finally released and, surprisingly, to overwhelming critical acclaim for innovative game design.
Bad News: It subsequently gets an "Adults Only" rating and is immediately pulled from the shelves until it can be re-worked into a "Mature" rating.
Seriously, I think 3D Realms should just admit defeat.....but I'm still holding out for "Redneck Rampage" forever.
A goal is a dream with a deadline
Be fair. Will Wright has successfully produced plenty of excellent games. That's not to say that Spore will necessarily be the earth shattering game experience that same people are saying it will, but I think someone like Mr. Wright has at least earned the benefit of the doubt that he'll release a game, and that it'll likely be at least halfway decent.
For better or worse, you can't just secretly develop a product in a basement somewhere and then suddenly have them lining store shelves the next day. One company that tries really hard to do that is Apple, and they're constantly getting bashed from many directions due to their obsession with secrecy.
While I'm not making any judgements about you personally, the reality is that consumers as a whole seem to enjoy the hype just as much as the marketing departments do. There are piles of websites dedicated to finding and sharing advanced info, future product hints, and scheming up potential company directions. Any time there's a demand for such information, someone's going to provide it. The fact that that creates an opportunity for cranks and charlatans to scam a few bucks is just a side effect.
One time I threw a brick at a duck.
You know it's a bad omen when the initials for your game "DNF" is construed as "Did Not Finish" in the racing world. Maybe it really should be DNS (duke nukem someday).
"Action without philosophy is a lethal weapon; philosophy without action is worthless."
I personally enjoy "Duke Nukem (Is Taking) Forever"
I didn't know vaporware meant "software/hardware that has a delayed release date" or "software that will probably be made but hasn't been announced yet." I don't understand how you can mention Diablo III in a vaporware list and not mention Starcraft: Ghost.
The article was also way off on how the Spore multiplayer will supposedly work. You're not going to be able to directly compete with other people's races. The computer-controlled races will be based off a global database of races that other players upload their race information to. This is barely more "multiplayer" then a global high score list.
Abaddon: An Xbox 360 Indie game
That's odd... in Europe I installed the WM6 upgrade for the Blackjack (SGH-i600 in these parts) ages ago.
http://www.samsungmobile.com/promotion/i600/index.jsp
DNS already stands for something. It's to do with warehousing facilities for deceased persons of African origin, I think.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
Sure something of more substance could have been #10.
If it had substance, surely it wouldn't be vapour...
Blank until
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_St._John
just sayin' is all
Chinese Democracy has been vaporware for 96 years and counting. The first beta was delivered in 1911, but numerous bugs caused it to eventually crash. Then they shipped another version for a completely different platform in 1949, but critics complain that it doesn't really deliver what was promised, and thus is vaporware. They tried to apply a major service pack in 1989, but it failed due to Insufficient Privileges error. Will the real version ever ship? Maybe, but I'm keeping my money on Duke.
Sssssshhhhhhhhh, they might hear you.
2)Make big fuss over sequal
3)Don't deliver, but make big deal for next decade
4)Once DNF is a household name, deliver
5)Profit!!
Seriously though, 3D Realms has found a good formula to get its namebrand out. I mean, what gamer hasn't heard of Duke Nukem Forever? It's the most famous non-game in gaming history. Weight for weight, DNF has more name recognition than even probably Halo. It almost behooves them to release it. It will turn every gamer's head 180 with "WTF?! DNF is finally been released!". Even if the game is say 7/10, you can guerentee a lot of copies would be sold just out of name recognition alone.
you mean Jon St. John.
Kidding aside, everything from that trailer is using the in-game engine. Everything. zero CGI. I don't think people realize this.
You new fruity console lovers can keep your Master Chef and his queer-eye costume. His food sucks and the only thing he has is a decent story-line. I'll take Duke, a shotgun, pipe bombs and strippers any day of the week.
Jetpack with pipebombs - the absolute best way to make your opponents squeal like babies.
Run child, run for your life.....
He's coming in '08 to kick some ass and chew some bubblegum, and I took his last piece of gum.
Regards,
Website Hosting
Emperor of the Ethereal
Somehow (I only caught the last half, and am in the middle of a minor Civ4 obsession) I read that as Ethelred the Unready. Appropriate enough, though.
Anybody notice the amount of weight on the bench behind Duke? I think Duke and Barry Bonds hang out. Obviously Duke slaps Barry around for fun, calling him 'Fairy Bonds'.
picture here
Maybe if we all got together and BELIEVED hard enough, DNF would appear and we could play it. It exists, we just don't believe in it.
There seems to be much misinformation here about Duke Nukem Forever.
...well... forever or they will die.
Allow me to set the record straight.
3D Realms is haunted by the ghosts of gamers who died of outrage when they found that Duke Nukem 3-D choked with more than 5 players in multi-player mode and, to appease the spirits, the workers at 3D Realms must continually build Duke Nukem Forever 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
So far they have kept the spirits at bay.