Slashdot Mirror
You, Too, Could Be Batman In 10 To 12 Years
jmcbain tips a fascinating interview in Scientific American with a professor of kinesiology and neuroscience (and a 26-year practitioner of Chito-Ryu karate-do). The question was, how much training would it take for a normal person to become Batman? The professor says: "You could train somebody to be a tremendous athlete and to have a significant martial arts background, and also to use some of the gear that he has, which requires a lot of physical prowess... In terms of the physical skills to be able to defend himself against all these opponents all the time, I would benchmark that at 10 to 12 years." The problem is, even after that amount of training, no one could remain on top of their game for more than a few years. And "Batman can't really afford to lose. Losing means death — or at least not being able to be Batman anymore."
The problem is, even after that amount of training, no one could remain on top of their game for more than a few years. And "Batman can't really afford to lose. Losing means death â" or at least not being able to be Batman anymore."
So, after all that, we should all stick to our day-jobs? Thanks Slashdot, you saved us again!
Do it yourself, because no one else will do it yourself. [beta blockade 10-17 Feb]
It's only 90 days from being a weakling to stopping bullies from kicking sand in your face. Isn't that what most nerds here really seek?
I've still yet to figure out how I can get things like "Bam, Pow, Biff, Boom" to pop out in the air when I hit people. I think that would require more training than anything else.
when you can just get hit in the head.
.sdrawkcab si gis siht
Well, given the size and scope of Bruce Wayne's awesome shit, I'd say quite well.
That, or its being a self-loathing billionaire industrialist that pays out.
Frankly, its probably not even in the scope of most slashdotters to end up being ATHF's Meatwad... after all, Meatwad makes the money, see; Meatwad gets the honeys, G...
and we don't :(
And am awaiting the panel at Comic-Con.
That would be an insane morale buster for the bad guys. Say you knife the Batman -- actually see your knife tear into his guts -- but he shoots his BatRope and BatDisappears for ten minutes. When he comes back he's replaced and as strong as ever, but you don't know that. All you know is that the Batman can't be killed. Maybe he's an immortal?? Maybe he's a demon?? It would be like one of those bunker busters that just completely deflate the enemy..
I am not the real Batman. My name is Ryan; I inherited the Batmobile from the previous Batman, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Batman either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Batman has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.
I dunno, Batman with a bowl hair cut and a squeaky voice just doesn't seem that intimidating.....
Monstar L
It doesn't take that long to become a superhero.....just look here: http://www.scifi.com/superhero/
Layne
The Batman workout video collection...
How much will you pay for this?
900$?
NO!
500$?
NO!
For a limited time, just two easy payments of one parent!
Good.. Bad.. I'm the guy with the gun.
You insensitive clod. I AM BATMAN!!!!
>I am not the real Batman. My name is Ryan; I inherited the Batmobile from the previous Batman, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Batman either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Batman has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.
Inconceivable!
I went to a midnight showing of The Dark Knight last night and managed to fall asleep with an hour left in the movie and wake up just in time for the credits to roll.
What kind of city do you live in where you can see a midnight showing of Dark Knight and not also have access to coffee 24 hours a day?
Hang out in the YMCA locker room and you can be Robin in under 5 minutes.
Eloi are stupid, throw morlocks at them!
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
My high school girlfriend was a runner-up and spirit award winner for Miss Teen VA when we were 16
Alright, that does not add to the conversation. You're just using this opportunity to gloat.
Would that be a RAIB?
Redundant Array of Interchangeable Batmen?
or more like a High Available Batcluster?
My blog
http://www.toysrus.com/
it makes us wish he was not conceived
...I obey the laws of physics....
I was bitten by a radio active sloth and now I can do the laying around of TEN men!
The Dread Pirate Batman?
-- Remember, we're not happy until you're not happy. -- Local FAA Inspector --
Isn't that because they keep all the super-villians locked up, and then release one at a time randomly for Batman to fight? That's how it seems to work. The real trouble in Gotham is that doctor at the psych ward who keeps saying things like, "Yeah, I think the Joker is rehabilitated now." Batman should just fight that guy.
Well, a guy who dresses up like a bat clearly has issues.
Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders!
-- If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? - Uli's moose
Then we'd need to train a bunch of people... (Score:5, Insightful)
and replace them as they 'fail' ... that way we've always got a batman.
That always seemed like a better way of handling an avenger sort of character like this. Use a face-obscuring costume so there's no way to tell one masked man from another but don't have multiple ones operating together so baddies would guess there has to be more than one but will never have a clue as to how large the organization is or how many.
I always liked the idea of the two-king system of Sparta, a king could be lost in battle and yet there would still be a king. With rulers using doubles to protect themselves from assassination, it seemed like the next step would be to adopt an official royal uniform that again hid the face and body so there would be no telling who was the king. Have a dozen of these guys running around and there's no telling who's the active king and who isn't. But then again, this also means that it's easier for an impostor to come in and claim he's got authority. Heh. So much fun.
bad guy: The next one who makes a noise answers to me!
[bad guy gets hit in the head]
bad guy: Who the FUCK did that?!
blackbelt jones: Batman, motherfucker!
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
I've made many a greasy anime nerd scoff in disbelief before, so perhaps, for public health concerns, as well as the general welfare, its best that I don't.
Translation: He burned the [physical] pictures of her (and deleted any digitals) he had when he walked in on her cheating with the high school quarterback and, therefore, thought it prudent to call off the engagement.
As soon as I read this post, I thought: Chuck Norris. Maybe you don't have to be at the top of your game for more than a few years. You just need to train people to tremble like a chihuahua in a purse at the sound of your name.
5 D's (Dodge duck dip dive dodge)
Don't you mean: "Ho! Haha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha - THRUST!"
Hiro used to feel this way, too, but then he ran into Raven.
You mean Raven from That's So Starfire?
32 inch waste
Wow, TMI.
I suppose that's impressive from a physiological standpoint, but how does it make you a better fighter?
Promote proofreading. Don't mod up sloppy posts.
Don't be so Batronising.
Close...
That would be an insane morale buster for the bad guys. Say you knife the Batman -- actually see your knife tear into his BatGuts -- but he shoots his BatRope and BatDisappears for ten minutes. When he comes back he's BatReplaced and as BatStrong as ever, but you don't know that. All you know is that the Batman can't be killed....
Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
the next step would be to adopt an official royal uniform that again hid the face and body
It's been done.
General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
Or Ace Rimmer, Space Adventurer!
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
"I wish I were your derivative so that I could lay tangent to your curves" that fail.
But that's my best line!
Never get involved in a flamewar on Slashdot, or never go in against a Troll when your Karma is on the line?
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
Yeah, contrived plot rationalizations spawned by talented writers stretched out by dealing with contrived backstories built decades ago to support a gimmick in a character. Those always make perfect logical sense, especially in comic books, which are known for their adherence to the rules that govern reality.
No! I'm batman and so is my wife....
Don't worry chums, I have my Bat-grammar Nazi Repellent Spray right here on my Bat-Utility belt.
One spray from this canister will take care of him until the authorities arrive.
And no, they don't always helpfully attack one or two at a time: watch half a dozen cops taking down a violent drunk some time.
That's only b/c the drunks never have a 6-foot bamboo stick with shattered ends. I saw Drunken Master 2 - as long as you have that stick you can be shit-faced and take out over 30 guys.
We want some answers and all that we get
Some kind of shit about a terrorist threat
- Ministry
You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, ah?
The Incredibles" stole the concept of the government forcibly retiring superheroes and covering up their existence from Frank Miller.
Wait, did I miss the part of "The Incredibles" where the government was trying to hide superheroes from Frank Miller?!
The enemies of Democracy are
Mod parent +1 ironic for a man driving a woman crazy.
... take down ten opponents at close range before they get close enough to grab you
Make sure to take Point Blank Shot as a feat before you fight, or just have a close-range weapon on hotswap.