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World's Oldest Marijuana Stash Found

jage2 writes "Researchers say they have located the world's oldest stash of marijuana in a tomb in a remote part of China. The cache of cannabis is about 2,700 years old and was clearly 'cultivated for psychoactive purposes,' rather than as fibre for clothing, or as food, says a research paper in the Journal of Experimental Botany. The 789 grams of dried cannabis was buried alongside a light-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian man, likely a shaman of the Gushi culture, near Turpan in northwestern China."

108 comments

  1. Well, that certainly explains Idle by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    You'd have to be high to think it was a good addition.

    1. Re:Well, that certainly explains Idle by zoomshorts · · Score: 3, Funny

      I WAS high until you killed the buzz. :P

    2. Re:Well, that certainly explains Idle by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      *cough*douchebag*cough*

    3. Re:Well, that certainly explains Idle by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm quite high, and I still think idle is obnoxious, and that it certainly doesn't belong on the frontpage.

      That said, I sure-as-shit clicked on this story when I saw it. :-D

  2. Summary is wrong by click2005 · · Score: 5, Funny

    After researchers tested the stash it seemed seemed like 2700 years had passed. In reality it was only 42 minutes.

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    1. Re:Summary is wrong by CaptainPatent · · Score: 5, Funny

      After researchers tested the stash it seemed seemed like 2700 years had passed. In reality it was only 42 minutes.

      Sources also say that after testing the researchers' hands "looked awesome."

      --
      Well, back to rejecting software patent applications.
    2. Re:Summary is wrong by LifesABeach · · Score: 1

      In the immortal words of Chech, and Chong, "Far Out Man."

    3. Re:Summary is wrong by QRDeNameland · · Score: 5, Funny
      overheard circa 700 BC:

      Sun Tzu: "Pssst...hey man, it's Sun Tzu, open the door, I got the stuff..."

      Chong: "Sun? Sun Tzu? Sun's not here."

      Sun Tzu: "No man, I'm Sun!! Now will you open the door, I got the stuff!!"

      Chong: "Sun?"

      Sun Tzu: "Yes, it's Sun!!!"

      Chong: "Sun's not here!!"

      -- several iterations later --

      Sun Tzu: "It's Sun!!! S-U-N!!! Now will you open the goddamned door?!?!?!"

      Chong: "Oh, sure." -- opens door --

      Sun Tzu: "What the hell was that about?"

      Chong: "Well, you had this note written on the table: 'If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him.'"

      Sun Tzu: "Damn, I must've really high when I wrote that..."

      --
      Momentarily, the need for the construction of new light will no longer exist.
    4. Re:Summary is wrong by neverhadachoice · · Score: 1

      hahahh that was great

  3. The researchers by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Of course the researchers subsequently burned it all... in portions of 5g.

  4. Well there goes my idea... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

    From TFA: "Scientists also tried to germinate 100 of the seeds found in the cache, without success."

    1. Re:Well there goes my idea... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hey man, if they can bring back a mammoth, they can bring back a pot plant.

    2. Re:Well there goes my idea... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      More like... if they can bring back the Judean Date Palm...

    3. Re:Well there goes my idea... by operagost · · Score: 1

      Maybe they should ask that Birkenstock-wearing guy down the street who's always munching on Cheetos. I bet he knows how to germinate some weed.

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  5. Blue eyes? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    How did they know he had blue eyes? Now, bloodshot, I would understand.

  6. Holy Smoke! by Foofoobar · · Score: 1

    Thought they were going to say 'one toke over the line sweet jesus'. Holy smoke indeed!

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  7. ObSimpsons by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    > Sources also say that after testing the researchers' hands "looked awesome."

    They call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing.

    Oh, wait. There they go.

  8. Bill & Ted? by kevinroyalty · · Score: 1

    So now we know where the blond part of Bill & Ted decided to stay on his last excellent adventure in the phone booth right? :)

    1. Re:Bill & Ted? by skam240 · · Score: 2, Informative

      And by "blond part" I assume you mean Bill S. Preston Esquire. Jesus... uncultured swine around here.

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    2. Re:Bill & Ted? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Also known as Alex Winter.

    3. Re:Bill & Ted? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Is it wrong to imagine Alex Winter appearing in the (deleted) final scene of Matrix 3, shaking Keanu awake and saying "Dude, you were having a BOGUS nightmare. Did you take one of the red pills last night? You know those always freak you out. Now let's go down to Castro Street and get your cute behind some breakfast."

      You have to admit the movie would have been massively better that way.

  9. Posted by samzenpus@03:19P by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Was someone trying for 4:20? I would use `at` to submit that sucker right on time :)

  10. Uh-huh. by Chris+Burke · · Score: 5, Funny

    The 18 researchers, most of them based in China, subjected the cannabis to a battery of tests, including carbon dating and genetic analysis. Scientists also tried to germinate 100 of the seeds found in the cache, without success.

    The marijuana was found to have a relatively high content of THC, the main active ingredient in cannabis, but the sample was too old to determine a precise percentage.

    Oh yes, the tests included genetic testing and radio-carbon dating. Good to point that out. I'll just speculate what other tests you could do with 2700 year old weed. On a perhaps related note, since they couldn't use spectroscopy or whatever to determine the precise percentage of THC, I wonder what technique they used to come up with the qualitative measurement "relatively high".

    --

    The enemies of Democracy are
    1. Re:Uh-huh. by PostFutura · · Score: 0

      On a perhaps related note, since they couldn't use spectroscopy or whatever to determine the precise percentage of THC, I wonder what technique they used to come up with the qualitative measurement "relatively high".

      In the name of Science! Umm... do you have paper?

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    2. Re:Uh-huh. by Purity+Of+Essence · · Score: 2, Funny

      The 18 researchers, most of them baked in China ...

      I'm surprised the editors missed that typo.

      --
      +0 Meh
    3. Re:Uh-huh. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You've never heard of bong-hit chromatography?

    4. Re:Uh-huh. by forkazoo · · Score: 2, Informative

      I wonder what technique they used to come up with the qualitative measurement "relatively high".

      A highometer was used to run a standard highometric analysis on a scale from "not" to "curiously." On the standard scale, "relatively" is the seventh mark on the indicator.

    5. Re:Uh-huh. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      You've never heard of bong-hit chromatography?

      You're confused, dude. It's bong calorimetry.
      You must be thinking of paper chromatography.

    6. Re:Uh-huh. by Khyber · · Score: 1

      Bioassays, perhaps.

      You certainly wouldn't be able to tell by smoking it, all the THC would have degraded by then back into precursor cannabinoids. They likely would have measured the amount of residual compounds leftover from broken-down pot.

      --
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    7. Re:Uh-huh. by batquux · · Score: 1

      They smoked it and got "relatively high"

    8. Re:Uh-huh. by cyber_rigger · · Score: 1

      The results might have been a fluke.

      This probably needs more testing.

    9. Re:Uh-huh. by geekoid · · Score: 1

      The THC count would do that.

      I mean, your trying really, really hard to imply they smoked it. Just failing, in an manner Epic.

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    10. Re:Uh-huh. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      They are welcome to run the tests in my lab. And by lab, I mean my basement.

    11. Re:Uh-huh. by sgt+scrub · · Score: 1

      Well at least it is good to know that it could still be "tested" after 2700 years. No worries the stash will go bad now.

      --
      Having to work for a living is the root of all evil.
  11. In a related anouncement.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Keith Richards was greatly relieved it was finally found although he can't recall being in China at the time.

    1. Re:In a related anouncement.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Willie also can't remember being in China at the time but everyon'e pretty sure it's his

    2. Re:In a related anouncement.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      yeah, it's sad this is the only piece of chinese culture that neither the brits or the americans can get their hands on.

  12. Intersting Tomb Contents by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 5, Funny

    The tomb also contained bridles, archery equipment and a harp...

    The ancient equivalent of car keys, a gun, and an electric guitar.
    Considering how much weed there was I say this was
    probably an ancient rock star and not a shaman.

    1. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by Captain+Splendid · · Score: 2, Insightful

      probably an ancient rock star and not a shaman.

      Shamans were the rock stars of the day.

      --
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    2. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 2, Interesting

      It is amusing to note the overwhelmingly strong bias toward "ritual and/or religious" explanations for just about anything we dig up about ancient societies. It makes you wonder what the future will make of us.

    3. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by skam240 · · Score: 2, Funny

      I'm pretty sure future societies will at long last recognize our vast numbers of 16 year old shamans.

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    4. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by QRDeNameland · · Score: 1
      Indeed....

      That's not a "fertility symbol", it's ur-Porn.

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      Momentarily, the need for the construction of new light will no longer exist.
    5. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by lawpoop · · Score: 0

      The problem really goes to our bias of our science as superior to any other way of knowing and interacting with the world, and calling anything else irrational or superstitious. It's sort of a circular argument: If it's not science, it's religion. Therefore anything that people did before the advent of science is, by definition, religious.

      A person from 5,000 years ago who dressed up in animal skins to communicate with weather spirits probably felt they were using the best, time-tested techniques to ensure the stability and well-being of the group. You certainly *are* able to have an experience of 'entities' -- see Strassman's "DMT: The Spirit Molecule" -- while under the influence of entheogenic drugs. So, no faith or dogma needed. Just drink a vine potion, and you can talk to the Gods yourself.

      So would this person have said they were practicing 'religion'? Probably not. The category of religion is a relatively recent conception. He probably would have categorized what he was doing more like diplomacy -- negotiating with the gods or spirits on behalf of the tribe.

      Of course, we know that spirits don't really exist -- we can't measure them scientifically -- so if you happen to talk to a giant Mantid after taking a herioc dose of Salvinorin A, you were either hallucinating or insane. Spirits can't be measured, therefore any interaction with spirits is religious activity.

      Why this guy got thrown in with shamans, don't ask me.

      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
      -- Pablo Picasso
    6. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by niktemadur · · Score: 1

      Shamans were the rock stars of the day.

      Conversely, some rock stars are shaman-like figures for modern times. I'm picturing guys like Jimi Hendrix, Robert Plant, Iggy Pop, Peter Gabriel while in Genesis, David Byrne while in The Talking Heads (particularly in albums such as Remain In Light and Speaking In Tongues), Ian Astbury while in The Cult, Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips, most certainly extreme characters like GG Allin, or Wendy O. Williams of The Plasmatics. I'd even go out on a limb and place Freddie Mercury on my list.

      Not Bono, though, there's a difference between being a shaman and a preacher, but I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing.
      Neither Mick Jagger nor Marilyn Manson, there's too much of the cynical multimillionaire businessmen in them.
      Finally, as for an Axl Rose, no supper for you until you finish that album and stop standing up your fans at gigs.

      --
      Lil' Thindime, lilting a lacrimose lament, krashes the kwaint konfines of Kokonino Kounty
    7. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by tommeke100 · · Score: 1

      more like a hip hop star, apparently he was doing the "Up In Smoke"-tour.
      Must be a snoop dogg ancestor.

    8. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by myowntrueself · · Score: 2, Insightful

      At the end of "The Golden Bough" there is a piece on comparison between magic, religion and science.

      Some quotes:

      In magic man depends on his own strength to meet the difficulties and dangers that beset him on every side. He believes in a certain established order of nature on which he can surely count, and which he can manipulate for his own ends.

      When he discovers his mistake, when he recognises sadly that both the order of nature which he had assumed and the control which he had believed himself to exercise over it were purely imaginary, he ceases to rely on his own intelligence and his own unaided efforts, and throws himself humbly on the mercy of certain great invisible beings behind the veil of nature, to whom he now ascribes all those far-reaching powers which he once arrogated to himself.

      Thus in the acuter minds magic is gradually superseded by religion, which explains the succession of natural phenomena as regulated by the will, the passion, or the caprice of spiritual beings like man in kind, though vastly superior to him in power.

      But as time goes on this explanation in its turn proves to be unsatisfactory. For it assumes that the succession of natural events is not determined by immutable laws, but is to some extent variable and irregular, and this assumption is not borne out by closer observation. On the contrary, the more we scrutinise that succession the more we are struck by the rigid uniformity, the punctual precision with which, wherever we can follow them, the operations of nature are carried on.

      Thus the keener minds, still pressing forward to a deeper solution of the mysteries of the universe, come to reject the religious theory of nature as inadequate, and to revert in a measure to the older standpoint of magic by postulating explicitly, what in magic had only been implicitly assumed, to wit, an inflexible regularity in the order of natural events, which, if carefully observed, enables us to foresee their course with certainty and to act accordingly. In short, religion, regarded as an explanation of nature, is displaced by science.

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    9. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by lawpoop · · Score: 2, Insightful

      But as time goes on this explanation in its turn proves to be unsatisfactory. For it assumes that the succession of natural events is not determined by immutable laws, but is to some extent variable and irregular, and this assumption is not borne out by closer observation. On the contrary, the more we scrutinise that succession the more we are struck by the rigid uniformity, the punctual precision with which, wherever we can follow them, the operations of nature are carried on.

      The universe runs on some punctual precision? Sort of like predicting the weather -- oh wait, no. More like quantum mech-- hm. No, not there, either.

      In fact, if there's one thing we've learned about the nature of reality through science in the past 100 years, it's that we *don't* live in Newton's clock-work universe. There is no "punctual precision". We live in space-time relativity and quantum uncertainty. Frazier's description of the linear evolution of human thought turns out to be wrong.

      Most anthropologists these days consider Frazier's magnum opus to be a product of his time. Everybody uses "magic" alongside mechanical understanding of their world. There is no linear progress. The remotest tribes of the world have extensive natural science knowledge of the life-cycles of the plants and animals they rely on to live. The first thing that a biologist or botanist will do is hook up with a local shaman or hunter ( called a "guide" ) to show him all the plants and animals they know -- this is in addition to their mythical understandings and interactions. ( Check out "Tales of a Shaman's Apprentice" or "Throwim Way Leg" ) Scientifically educated people wash their hands and flush the toilet to avoid invisible germs, but they have no problems handling germ-laden paper money or dish-cloths.

      I think that any time you follow rules to interact with forces that aren't directly apparent to the senses, you are essentially practicing magic. Sure, at some point a scientist can go in with an instrument to measure germs or radiation, but the average person "interacting" with those has no way to perceive germs or radiation in an everyday situation. S/He therefore must rely on ritual.

      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
      -- Pablo Picasso
    10. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 1

      I wholly agree with your characterization of the persistence of the grossest superstition to the present day(in fairness, Frazier described "acuter" and "keener" minds as progressing, which is probably accurate; but they sure as hell haven't managed to drag the rest along with them).

      I want to note, though, that probabilistic is not clockwork; but it is not arbitrary. A fair die's outcome cannot be predicted; but its behavior is precisely regular. The old Newtonian dream of a perfectly predictable billiards universe is nonsense; but the probabilistic phenomena around us seem overwhelmingly to be statistically predictable, rather than merely arbitrary.

    11. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by Joey+Vegetables · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Once upon a time we could not see (much less measure germs). Therefore, by your logic, they must not have existed either.

    12. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Whoa, thats deep man.

    13. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Dudes, you are blowin my mind.

    14. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by maxume · · Score: 1

      If Axl Rose burned, would it smell like burning flesh or like burning plastic?

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    15. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by geekoid · · Score: 2, Funny

      It would smell like victory.

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      The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    16. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by geekoid · · Score: 1

      "...the punctual precision with which, wherever we can follow them, the operations of nature are carried on...."

      He is referring to repeatability. i.e. falsifiable tests.

      Effectively this is the precursor to the scientific method.

      --
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    17. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by timq · · Score: 1

      this was probably an ancient rock star and not a shaman.
      I think the difference between the two does not amount to much anyway.

    18. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by jgrahn · · Score: 1

      Conversely, some rock stars are shaman-like figures for modern times. I'm picturing guys like Jimi Hendrix, Robert Plant, Iggy Pop, Peter Gabriel while in Genesis, David Byrne while in The Talking Heads (particularly in albums such as Remain In Light and Speaking In Tongues), Ian Astbury while in The Cult, Wayne Coyne of The Flaming Lips, most certainly extreme characters like GG Allin, or Wendy O. Williams of The Plasmatics. I'd even go out on a limb and place Freddie Mercury on my list.

      But you missed the obvious -- Jim Morrison.

    19. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Finally, as for an Axl Rose, no supper for you until you finish that album and stop standing up your fans at gigs.

      Welcome to last week. It was released on the 23rd.

    20. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by operagost · · Score: 1

      I know this sounds unbelievable, but "Chinese Democracy," which unfortunately does not come with weed, was finally released last month.

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    21. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by lawpoop · · Score: 1

      You misconstrue my logic. Nowhere have I said that imperceptible phenomena does not exist.

      What I am saying is that anybody who interacts with something they cannot perceive, be they germs or spirits, is essentially practicing ritual. They have no way of knowing whether or not their actions will bring about the intended results, because they have no way to perceive the phenomenon they purport to influence. How can this be different from a magic ritual?

      Now, some rationalist might jump in at this point and say, "But we *can* see germs!" That misses the point. Yes, it is possible to look at germs with a microscope ( though some, like the HIV virus, are still too small to perceive ), but in practicality, that never happens. 99.99% of the time or greater, people perform their germ avoidance ritual without ever perceiving the germs they think they are avoiding. They have no way to judge or measure the efficacy of the actions -- or even if there were any germs in the first place! It's ritual, in the anthropological sense.

      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
      -- Pablo Picasso
    22. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by lawpoop · · Score: 1

      He is referring to repeatability. i.e. falsifiable tests.

      Are you sure? Could you provide a reference, please?

      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
      -- Pablo Picasso
    23. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by lawpoop · · Score: 1

      I want to note, though, that probabilistic is not clockwork; but it is not arbitrary. A fair die's outcome cannot be predicted; but its behavior is precisely regular. The old Newtonian dream of a perfectly predictable billiards universe is nonsense; but the probabilistic phenomena around us seem overwhelmingly to be statistically predictable, rather than merely arbitrary.

      Yes, but this belies the radical shift that Einsteinian physics and and quantum physics really was in the world of science. No one is claiming that it is arbitrary. It essentially changed the metaphysical foundation that science had been based on since about the time of Newton. Many scientists at the time refused to accept these theories; they still clung to luminiferous aether and clockwork universe theories, until they all died out and the new school took over completely, in about the 1950s.

      To say that it was a radical change is not to claim that there is metaphysical anarchy, or complete and utter chaos. But it the change does throw a monkey wrench into the linear progress model that Frazier and other thinkers of his time bought into. It was their cosmology -- slow, steady, incremental progress. Suddenly, Einstein and Bohrs turned that all on its head -- we hadn't made slow and steady progress for centuries. It turned out we were wrong, radically wrong, in our basic assumptions about the nature of the universe and reality, and for a long time, to boot. And the intelligensia didn't accept it until decades had passed.

      In this sense, the idea of linear, incremental progress ( and don't kid yourself, they really believed this ) went hand in hand with the clockwork universe. Time marched always forward, just as did human knowledge and understanding, always increasing steadily, never going backwards or having to throw it all out.

      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
      -- Pablo Picasso
    24. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by niktemadur · · Score: 1

      Thanks for reminding me about Morrison, but I'd pick Arthur Lee of Love over Morrison any day of the week, cases in point:

      - When Lee rented an apartment in Venice Beach, a short while later so did Morrison.
      - Then Lee got himself a Mustang convertible, and soon enough, Morrison could be seen around town driving one of those.
      - Finally, Lee adopted a Rottweiler, and a couple of months later, you guessed it, Morrison got himself one.

      Those are the three examples that I know of. When asked if he was annoyed at Morrison for co-opting his thing, Lee smiled and replied that he was mostly flattered.

      So there you have it, Arthur Lee was The Man in that particular scenario.

      Aw sh*t! I just remembered another guy that belongs on the list, George Clinton of Parliament/Funkadelic. And in spaced-out jazz, there's the one and only Sun Ra.

      --
      Lil' Thindime, lilting a lacrimose lament, krashes the kwaint konfines of Kokonino Kounty
    25. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by niktemadur · · Score: 1

      It took longer to release Chinese Democracy than it took NASA to send a human to the Moon from scratch. Or for Voyager 2 to conduct a leisurely tour of our solar system's gas giants. Or for light to travel the distance between Earth and Sirius and back again.

      --
      Lil' Thindime, lilting a lacrimose lament, krashes the kwaint konfines of Kokonino Kounty
    26. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by niktemadur · · Score: 1

      My bad, maybe I should have written it thusly:

      As for an Axl "No supper for you until you finish an album" Rose, stop standing up your fans at gigs, leaving behind a wake of riots in arenas across the western world.

      --
      Lil' Thindime, lilting a lacrimose lament, krashes the kwaint konfines of Kokonino Kounty
    27. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by horcy · · Score: 1

      dude you rock, your comment broad a lot of tears into my keyboard.

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    28. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by Joey+Vegetables · · Score: 1

      OK, fair enough. But we really can't perceive most things directly . . only their effects. We do not see objects; we see light reflected off of them. We do not hear explosions, but only the periodic changes in air pressure over time that cause our eardrums to vibrate (unless it's a sci-fi movie and the explosion was in space, in which case we are perceiving the effects of the script writer's imagination, and nothing more). Sometimes we observe effects whose causes cannot be ascertained with certainty, or at least not by the scientific method (observation, experimentation, etc.) We can perceive the effect, but must somehow infer the cause from that effect. To others who do not agree with our inferences, our actions may appear to be "ritual" whereas to us they seem completely logical and rational, or vice versa.

    29. Re:Intersting Tomb Contents by lawpoop · · Score: 1

      But we really can't perceive most things directly . . only their effects. We do not see objects; we see light reflected off of them.

      If you're going to argue that, then the logical conclusion is that we don't perceive *anything* directly -- that there is no such thing as direct perception. Or would you count touch as direct perception?

      I think it's fair to go with a definition of direct perception as impinging upon any of the five senses -- sight, smell, touch, taste, or sound. In other words, if you sensed it directly, rather than concluding a presence or being told about it, we could call that direct perceptions. And for germs, we can't directly perceive them with our senses. We need a tool to do it, a tool that's too difficult to use in day-to-day life.

      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
      -- Pablo Picasso
  13. 2700 years by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    and his eyes were still blue eh?

  14. Who Knew? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Well that's good news! All these years I've been called a pot head and come to find out through the miracle of botany, I am a shaman!

  15. missing from the summary by commodoresloat · · Score: 2, Funny

    "The 789 grams of dried cannabis was buried alongside a light-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian man, likely a shaman of the Gushi culture, near Turpan in northwestern China. The man had a very large smile on his face."

  16. Red Tape by TornCityVenz · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Researchers needed about 10 months to cut red tape barring the transfer of the cannabis to England from China, Russo said." This is an obscene amount of time for research related materials to have to wait...they should have just stuffed it into some teething rings and imported them through normal distribution channels.

    --
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    1. Re:Red Tape by jamstar7 · · Score: 1

      They could have talked with the CIA about it. If they can smuggle tons of heroin out of Southeast Asia, a mere pound of grass shouldn't be a problem...

      --
      Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
  17. 780 grams? That's not mucking about! by Fluffeh · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wow, they really did plan ahead for a rainy day didn't they? I mean, that's a fair bit of shrubbery to be hauling about by anyone's measure.

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  18. Also explains... by Fluffeh · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why those mongols kept invading till someone built that big nasty wall up between backyards. I can see it now:

    Mongol: Pssst, you got a yuan bag?
    Wall Guard: Oy! Get out of here, we don't do that at this tower, try two doors down.
    Mongol: Pssst, is Fey Shong Wei about? He always hooks me up.
    Wall Guard: I said piss off! I got my boss coming for an inspection in a bit.
    Mongol: Fine fine, sissy girly man, no wonder you need this big wall to keep out a few baked horsemen!
    Wall Guard: Get back to your tent you damned hippie! And get a REAL job! And a HAIRCUT! And have a SHOWER!

    --
    Moved to http://soylentnews.org/. You are invited to join us too!
    1. Re:Also explains... by fferret · · Score: 0, Redundant

      +1, would read again.

      --
      We're through being cool! Eliminate the ninnies and the twits! -Devo
  19. Argh by moniker127 · · Score: 1

    I was wondering why my blue eyed caucasian friend scott kept borrowing my time machine.
    Now I know.

  20. Well Well, Excellent. by Roskolnikov · · Score: 1

    So my only question is was this Bill or Ted? Time Travel and George Carlin come to mind :)

    --
    Unix, an obscure operating system developed by bored researchers in an attempt to get a better game playing experience.
    1. Re:Well Well, Excellent. by the_fat_kid · · Score: 1

      Bill S. Preston, Esq.

      --
      -- Sig under construction...
  21. Ancient Nugz by cfreukes · · Score: 1

    "Scientists also tried to germinate 100 of the seeds found in the cache" Man, sounds like schwagg!

    1. Re:Ancient Nugz by yamamushi · · Score: 1

      Totally! 789g of Budz would have been awesome to take over into the afterlife, unfortunately this guy was obviously screwed over by his dealer. In other news, oldest munchies stash found!

      --
      - Aetheral Research -
  22. And look what happened to the guy who smoked that by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    He's dead!

    Take note kids.

  23. Hey man.... by Star+Particle · · Score: 5, Funny

    you ever go crawling around ancient Chinese shaman's tombs....... on weed?

  24. And here's the last song he played... by BluBrick · · Score: 1

    I was gonna pillage you,

    But I got high.

    I was gonna sack your village too,

    But I got high.

    I'm stuck here in this tomb, and I know why.

    Because I got high, because I got high, because I got hi-igh.

    --
    Ahh - My eye!
    The doctor said I'm not supposed to get Slashdot in it!
    1. Re:And here's the last song he played... by Captain+Splendid · · Score: 1

      *golf clap*

      --
      Linux, you magnificent bastard, I read the fucking manual!
    2. Re:And here's the last song he played... by operagost · · Score: 1

      When you run off to sack and pillage, don't forget to bring a towel!

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
  25. blue-eyed Caucasian man... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...blue-eyed Caucasian man...

    I would be surprised if the corps had any eyes let alone blue eyes.

    clearly the researchers were smoking something to allow them to see the blue eyes of this 2700 year old corps!

  26. 2 lbs of low grade pot... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    the presence of seeds means it will take quite a bit of this stuff to gain mystic powers great enough to heal your tribesmen. looking back on my hooka days i would say this stash would last 4 weeks at the most.

  27. I want to say... No wait... Huh? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    What are we digg.com now? -5 Troll

    Seriously folks. I have been visiting this site for years... Years... Years... Daily since at least (ballpark) Y2K.

    Why are we carrying Digg's leftover stories? Am I wrong? Am I the only one that sees/feels this?

    AC

    Oh and by the way:
    In Soviet Russia, Marijuana Finds You!!!!

    ~Jack Benney

  28. Damn! by Jane+Q.+Public · · Score: 0, Redundant

    I thought NOBODY would look there.

    Sigh. Time to start over. Where are my shovel and dust brush?

  29. Old Marijuana but OLD news by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Not only is that one old stash but news of this is very old now.

  30. Street value by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    Not that I know anything about... *cough* yes, we'll just tick the 'Anonymous' box, yes, there we are.

    In the Chicago area, for 'Pretty Good' cannabis, you're talking between $200 and $400 per ounce, conservatively. 789 grams is approximately 27.8 ounces, that's $5,400-$10,800 total value, conservative estimate, depending on quality relative to today's standards.

    1. Re:Street value by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In the Chicago area, for 'Pretty Good' cannabis, you're talking between $200 and $400 per ounce, conservatively.

      Now thats really absurd, think you need to find another source... The *REALLY* good hydro goes for about $100 an OZ... and is always in supply. I live ~ six hours north of you, and at least an hour away from the nearest city...

      In season you can find the very good out door for as little as $50 bucks an OZ. With the 'Pretty Good' imported Mexican swag going for like $75-80.

      Your numbers really sound like the inflated numbers law enforcement try and use to up the sentences on busted dealers.

  31. 789 grams ??? by tommeke100 · · Score: 1

    sure, that's what they said they've found. I wonder what happened with the other 30 kilo ;-)

  32. His fatal mistake by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Too bad the guy didnt have a light.

  33. Imagine that by Technopaladin · · Score: 1

    Conversation at Customs.

    Um no Officer that isnt my weed. That is the result of an archeological find.

    Sure, Cuff him. We hear that all the time.

    Or the Dead guy was just holding it for a friend.

  34. Another drug deal gone bad. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Another drug deal gone bad.

  35. Blue-eyed Caucasian by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The cannabis must have been crutch to help him handle his predicament. I suspect that he was 'effectually denied higher education' and whatever jobs that were left were 'reserved for diversity programs'. Why did they not mention finding a skateboard?

  36. They found Jeff Spicoli's great great great... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ... + ( great * 87) grandfather (if a generation = ~ 30 years).

  37. Too bad by DaFallus · · Score: 1

    Would have been funnier if it was found in Indochina...

    --
    No one cares what your captcha was

    Houston TX, USA
    1. Re:Too bad by DF5JT · · Score: 1

      Would have been funnier if it had had the right grammar.

  38. Nice Save! by kieblerh · · Score: 1

    I was about to jump in my time machine with 789 grams of pot. Good thing i read this before hand. Im just going to stay home and smoke this stash now!

  39. Blown by kieblerh · · Score: 1

    Ever get so high that you thought you went 7200 years in the past and you were in china....oh crap

  40. 2700 year old surfer by mhaskell · · Score: 1

    The 789 grams of dried cannabis was buried alongside a light-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian man, likely a shaman of the Gushi culture, near Turpan in northwestern China

    Last words were "Whoa, clench time tsunami dude!"

  41. How does it skinn up? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    We want more details ...whats it smoke like man! Hopefully theres some good seeds

  42. Re:And look what happened to the guy who smoked th by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I bet he died happy though...and has a blast in the afterlife with that stash :D

  43. Anonymous Coward by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    AntiHero says, Marijuana, it cures what ails ya.