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Apple Introduces "MacBook Wheel"

CommonCents noted an Apple announcement a few hours before the anticipated keynote. He says "Apples' latest must have gadget does away with the keyboard. With the new MacBook Wheel, Apple has replaced the traditional keyboard with a giant wheel."

268 comments

  1. The Onion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    The onion, where it's April 1st year round.

    1. Re:The Onion by eebra82 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Except on April 1st when it's actually June 23rd.

    2. Re:The Onion by dotancohen · · Score: 4, Funny

      The onion, where it's April 1st year round.

      And where only Apple could reinvent the Wheel.

      --
      It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
    3. Re:The Onion by regonzam · · Score: 1

      please read this on wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion

    4. Re:The Onion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      How do I use Vi editor with this?

    5. Re:The Onion by punapea · · Score: 1

      Heh, it's on digg and reddit as well -summer comes early this year :)

      --
      Death comes to those who wait.
    6. Re:The Onion by dna_(c)(tm)(r) · · Score: 2, Funny

      How do I use Vi editor with this?

      You tap 'tip tap tap tip tap tap tip tap tip tip tip tip' which spells 'EMACS' in morse code.

      Or, install VIM and then hit ANY key.

    7. Re:The Onion by Registered+Coward+v2 · · Score: 1

      The onion, where it's April 1st year round.

      and the net, home of eternal September

      --
      I'm a consultant - I convert gibberish into cash-flow.
    8. Re:The Onion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Awesome! Thats my birthday.

      I don't get it.

    9. Re:The Onion by fractalspace · · Score: 1

      Why is this modded "Funny" ? The article maybe funny. This comment itself, "Informative".

    10. Re:The Onion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Kind of makes you wonder if CommonCents has any common sense.

    11. Re:The Onion by JCSoRocks · · Score: 2, Funny

      This idea was invented by Shampoo.

      --
      You are using English. Please learn the difference between loose and lose; they're, there, and their; your and you're.
    12. Re:The Onion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's also sonic the hedgehog's birthday.

    13. Re:The Onion by Matheus · · Score: 1

      The great part is..
      I didn't pay attention to the "Idle" classification..
      clicked through thinking it was real..
      watched the video and it was convincing enough that I though Apple would actually be dumb enough to do this..

      made me smile.

      THEN I noticed the onion logo. More smiles of Badger Pride (even though they're not based in Madison anymore..)

      Sweet.

    14. Re:The Onion by fnord_uk · · Score: 1

      Where's the ANY key? I haven't got one, and I don't have a wheel either!

      --
      In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they're not.
    15. Re:The Onion by commodore64_love · · Score: 1

      When I heard, "The new hummingbird battery works for 19 minutes" I realized this is either a joke, or Jobs has gone mental.

      --
      "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - historian Evelyn Beatrice Hall
    16. Re:The Onion by clone53421 · · Score: 1

      Because you haven't configured your settings so it isn't.

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    17. Re:The Onion by Loopy1492 · · Score: 1

      How do I use Vi editor with this?

      Step 1) Kill yourself.

      --
      I deliminate with tabs. Get used to it.
    18. Re:The Onion by csartanis · · Score: 1

      I dont mean idle in general, I meant this work of fiction that is a waste of time for everyone looking for real interesting news.

    19. Re:The Onion by clone53421 · · Score: 1

      I dont mean idle in general

      I meant this work of fiction that is a waste of time for everyone looking for real interesting news.

      Wait, didn't you just describe "idle in general"?

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    20. Re:The Onion by fj3k · · Score: 1

      I realized this is either a joke, or Jobs has gone mental.

      Yeah, trouble is both are possible explanations...

      --
      Two men claimed to have walked into a bar. Only one had the bruises to prove it.
    21. Re:The Onion by EEPROMS · · Score: 1

      They stole my Steve Jobs joke, I posted a comment last year that Apple would one day finally remove all the keys and have one button, looks like the onion picked up on it.

    22. Re:The Onion by Ihmhi · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Spin the wheel in ANY direction."

      "Hey guys, which way is the any direction?"

      The more things change...

    23. Re:The Onion by brajbir · · Score: 1

      A big vim fan, I second you. :) There could be nothing faster than nine fingers tapping blind at a keyboard. Why, I could do it with my eyes closed. Accessibility for you. Well, People type at 110 wpm.. With the mac-book, 10cpm may be an overstatement

    24. Re:The Onion by Sentry21 · · Score: 1

      Don't laugh. Our office manager is from Germany and has never heard of The Onion. Thanks to this clip's staggeringly high production values, she was thoroughly confused - especially since she didn't see the clip until after the keynote. When I asked her if she knew what The Onion was and she said no, I showed her this classic, and she figured it out pretty quick.

    25. Re:The Onion by Krupuk · · Score: 1

      And it's the fourth of July in Luxembourg.

    26. Re:The Onion by l0wr35 · · Score: 1

      Loving it! Great Piss take :)

    27. Re:The Onion by TClevenger · · Score: 1

      I wouldn't know; I insist on real poo.

    28. Re:The Onion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The onion, where it's April 1st year round.

      Did you guys notice the guy said, "Eventhough it takes 40mins to write an e-mail BUT it identifies its written by using a Macbook Wheel...

      LOL... That is so screw and retarded

  2. Is it just me? by Van+Cutter+Romney · · Score: 2, Funny

    Or does the anchorwoman have a head shaped like an onion?

    --
    Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
  3. phone next? by firewood · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe next they'll invent some way to dial a phone with just some sort of rotary wheel...

    1. Re:phone next? by residue · · Score: 1

      bahahahahaha

    2. Re:phone next? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Dialing a phone with a rotary wheel will actually be a whole lot easier in my mind than typing an email with a whole wheel. I don't see how this process is faster than me typing exactly what I want. Imagine trying to program with that thing. Predictive text will not be any help with odd variables names and punctuation marks all over the place. This to me is definitely overkill.

    3. Re:phone next? by LurkingOnSlashdot · · Score: 1

      iPhone 2.0

    4. Re:phone next? by PolygamousRanchKid+ · · Score: 5, Interesting

      If this isn't on the iPhone AppStore already, it will be real soon. Enough folks would shell out a few bucks for the novetly of it.

      "Hey, look at me! I can dial my iPhone, just like in those old movies!"

      Mount your iPhone in a shoe, and you can play Maxwell Smart. Now that would really freak people out, when your shoe rings, and you take it off to answer it.

      --
      Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
    5. Re:phone next? by Hijacked+Public · · Score: 2, Interesting

      If I recall correctly an app like that pre-dates the App Store. I think there was one available for jailbroken 1.x firmware.

      --
      "Sacrifice for the good of The State" - The State
    6. Re:phone next? by philgross · · Score: 1

      There are several. Search for "rotary dialer" in the iTunes App Store.

    7. Re:phone next? by Hal_Porter · · Score: 5, Funny

      Dialing a phone with a rotary wheel will actually be a whole lot easier in my mind than typing an email with a whole wheel. I don't see how this process is faster than me typing exactly what I want. Imagine trying to program with that thing. Predictive text will not be any help with odd variables names and punctuation marks all over the place. This to me is definitely overkill.

      It's quick than you think. Suppose you wanted to type Whoosh! to inform someone that they had missed a joke. Once you enter Wh you can just select Whoosh! from the dropdown list.

      --
      echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
    8. Re:phone next? by Cannelloni · · Score: 2, Informative

      Actually, there is already such a program for the iPhone.

      --
      Beauty is in the beholder of the eye.
    9. Re:phone next? by dkh2 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hal is working on one of these already - that's why his first sentence has "quick" where the form "quicker" should have been.

      --
      My office has been taken over by iPod people.
    10. Re:phone next? by Arthur+Grumbine · · Score: 1

      Mount your iPhone in a shoe, and you can play Maxwell Smart. Now that would really freak people out, when your shoe rings, and you take it off to answer it.

      I had no idea that iPhones had such a monopoly on the "being able to be mounted in a shoe" form factor...

      --
      Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.
    11. Re:phone next? by slriv · · Score: 1

      Maybe next they'll invent some way to dial a phone with just some sort of rotary wheel...

      You sir made me belly laugh! Thank you for that.

      --
      All the worlds a stage, and I'm the guy running the lights...
    12. Re:phone next? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I wrote this comment on the new Wheel thing... took me 45 minutes...
      And I'm not a coward... just couln't find the time to log in using the wheel...

    13. Re:phone next? by edsousa · · Score: 1

      Its possible to try predictive input. See http://www.dasher.org.uk/

    14. Re:phone next? by Hal_Porter · · Score: 1

      They should make it in 3D, then it would feel like you were falling into a bottomless pit of letters and punctuation.

      Maybe you could turn it into a video game, Litratcha eHro.

      --
      echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
    15. Re:phone next? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      actually, in the real old days you simply picked up the receiver and asked the human operator for an extension. since that is effectively the same as a voice recognition, we've already come full circle.

    16. Re:phone next? by Alex+Belits · · Score: 1
      --
      Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.
    17. Re:phone next? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Could be fun, but I'm still wait for the Dick Tracy wrist phone. So sick of the damned things falling out of my pockets.

    18. Re:phone next? by andreyvul · · Score: 1

      Really? There are rumors that the next generation of the MacBook Wheel will have support for Perl auto-complete.

      --
      proud caffeine whore
    19. Re:phone next? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      or you'd just spin the wheel really fast, thus creating a whooshing sound.

    20. Re:phone next? by CRC'99 · · Score: 1

      You mean like this?

      --
      Sendmail is like emacs: A nice operating system, but missing an editor and a MTA.
    21. Re:phone next? by jedidiah · · Score: 1

      The "joke" wasn't really all that considering that the wheel in question had very precise control points that determined which numbers you were entering.

      It was a lot more like a keypad than any Apple wheel is.

      --
      A Pirate and a Puritan look the same on a balance sheet.
    22. Re:phone next? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Are you being sarcastic? Does nobody remember rotary telephones? Aaah, how I miss that bzzz-whirrrr...

      This laptop might be good fun for people who only use their macs for playing games, watching videos or listening to music, but for anyone who uses computers for real purposes, it's pointless. Not only can you not type, but graphic design or anything necessitating flexible use of a mouse is impossible.

      One word: gimmick.

      I don't have a MacBook but I do have an iPhone and while I find that easy to use even when typing ridiculously long emails, I don't think a tactile computer is practical at all.

      Annie, Paris

    23. Re:phone next? by badpazzword · · Score: 1

      Whoosh...

      --
      When ideas fail, words become very handy.
    24. Re:phone next? by CaptainNerdCave · · Score: 1

      thank you for clarifying what "Whoosh!" means, i have been wondering for months.

      i'm hoping that my courage in not posting as ac will be recognized

    25. Re:phone next? by denmarkw00t · · Score: 1

      "Yeah I know! Its a rotary dial, so I can exercise my pointer finger for all those butt-hole massages."

      Anyone else think of Terror Phone?

  4. Mactini by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    This reminds me of the Mactini on the The Peter Serafinowicz Show Christmas Special: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noe3kR8KqJc

  5. The really sad thing about this... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    ...is that if I hadn't noticed this was from the Onion when I read a blurb about it on another tech website this morning, I would have believed it. I don't know if that says something about my intelligence (or lack thereof) or if it says something rather disturbing about Apple.

    However, on a more serious note, it's just a matter of time before the keyboard and mouse go away. Perhaps it isn't going to happen quite as soon as some people predict, but eventually with gestural control and the ever-improving implication of voice recognition technology, there just won't be a need for direct, physical input. I look forward to the days we our children can quote Back to the Future 2 with full knowledge that the kids in the arcade uttered a prophetic phrase: "You mean you have to use your hands? That's like a baby's toy!"

    1. Re:The really sad thing about this... by Tx · · Score: 3, Insightful

      However, on a more serious note, it's just a matter of time before the keyboard and mouse go away. Perhaps it isn't going to happen quite as soon as some people predict, but eventually with gestural control and the ever-improving implication of voice recognition technology, there just won't be a need for direct, physical input.

      Maybe, maybe not. I'm sure I'm not alone in not looking forward to being surrounded by an office full people jabbering at their computers, so speech recognition, even if it ever gets to a level of accuracy that makes is speed-competitive with a keyboard, will still not be suitable for a lot of working environments. And I'm not all that convinced that is is improving very quickly - current products seem to need a lot less training than those of 10 years ago, but the best you can get out of them doesn't seem much better than what could be achieved back then. Gesture recognition won't stand on it's own as an input medium, although I can see it being more useful in the forseeable future than speech recognition. Personally I see direct physical interfaces persisting right up until we can have a wireless brain interface to take over.

      --
      Oh no... it's the future.
    2. Re:The really sad thing about this... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      With improvements virtualization along with the environmental positives of working from home rather than commuting, what makes you think that we'll need to work in offices in the not-so-distant future. Save for manufacturing, this is a very plausible future for the business world.

      In short order, there will likely be no "office full [of] people jabbering at their computers" in a decade or so.

    3. Re:The really sad thing about this... by ari_j · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Try writing and formatting a 20-page brief, 150-page thesis, or a thousand 2-page letters on your cell phone if you need any proof that the full keyboard is here to stay.

      Oh, and then, after you finish all that, try to write a speech recognition program without using a keyboard.

    4. Re:The really sad thing about this... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm sure there were people back then who said the same thing about emergining technologies not being practical.

      Instead of waving our canes around whilst gumming on our false teeth screaming at those damn kids and their new fangled computers, we'll be waving around our laptops and yelling into our bluetooth headsets at those damn kids and their new fangled brain interfaces.

      Also, I don't think the author of the parent article said anything about typing up a report on their cell phone. Stop using unrelated arugments to give yourself an excuse to post.

      Oh, and if you think typing a report up on a cell phone is stupid, I give you this. Just in case you don't think it's possible.

    5. Re:The really sad thing about this... by Cannelloni · · Score: 1

      And no-one will ever read it! But someone has to pretend they did. :)

      --
      Beauty is in the beholder of the eye.
    6. Re:The really sad thing about this... by Crumplecorn · · Score: 3, Funny

      I look forward to playing UT2020 by waving my hands in the direction I want to turn and shouting 'fire'.

      I'm already training for the steady decline toward inferior input interfaces by playing FPSes on the Wii.

    7. Re:The really sad thing about this... by ChangelingJane · · Score: 1

      "A keyboard? How quaint!"

    8. Re:The really sad thing about this... by ari_j · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Having actually read the parent and its parent, I, unlike you, am aware that the claim was that "it's just a matter of time before the keyboard and mouse go away." That means no keyboards at all, and it's preposterous, a few cell-phone novels from the people who grow square watermelons notwithstanding.

      Your suggestion that people balked at computers because they did not view them as practical is not backed up in history, nor do you provide any citation to any serious claims of that sort. The computer was originally presented as a business machine that could replace the typewriter. Typewriters had already been popular for nearly 100 years, and were an invention born out of necessity: Business communications during the Industrial Revolution demanded a faster way to create correspondence.

      Unless and until another interface is capable of performing all computing tasks at least as efficiently as the keyboard, the keyboard will be commonplace. It may be removed from certain applications, but until a better technology for writing (and formatting, as I pointed out earlier in my call to write those documents on a cell phone) letters and the like comes along, every office PC will have a keyboard.

    9. Re:The really sad thing about this... by lysergic.acid · · Score: 1

      telecommuting might be preferable for a lot of jobs, but not all. and i'm not just talking about manufacturing, which i think will eventually be replaced by automation.

      these days everyone from school teachers to librarians to police officers use computers at work. and all of these jobs also involve non-computer-related tasks that require an on site presence. so there will always be a need for non-verbal input methods in shared work environments.

      besides, it would be a pretty bleak future if everyone just worked from home, completely isolated from one another and cut off from regular social interaction. sometimes it's nice to work in an office with other people, especially if there is a friendly office atmosphere.

      say you're trying to launch a startup company, and you've recruited a respectable pool of talent. it's probably better to actually set up a shared headquarters where everyone can get to know one another and work alongside each other than to have everyone working from home. telecommuting just doesn't foster the same kind of creative work atmosphere or organizational cohesion as a shared office environment.

    10. Re:The really sad thing about this... by advocate_one · · Score: 1

      The only way the keyboard is going away is with voice recognition that doesn't suck. It's been a decade since they started down that path... I don't foresee it anytime soon.

      we could have had that by now if Microsoft hadn't effectively killed it off. They licensed L&H's technology, incorporated it into Office and then sat on it... never bothered to actually develop it any further...

      --
      Donald 'Duck' Dunn: We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.
    11. Re:The really sad thing about this... by Thalagyrt · · Score: 4, Funny

      Computer! rm -rf /var/www/old!
      # rm -rf /
      #

      SHIT!

      --
      Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo!
    12. Re:The really sad thing about this... by fractoid · · Score: 1

      "You have to use your hands? That's like a baby's toy!"

      --
      Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
    13. Re:The really sad thing about this... by jbolden · · Score: 0

      The direction seems to be moving in the opposite way. Junior High school kids text in preference to talking. Given that an experienced typist can type way faster than they can talk intelligibly and our current keyboard designs could be sped up I wouldn't be shocked if the whole desire for voice goes away for large devices.

    14. Re:The really sad thing about this... by jbolden · · Score: 1

      but people under estimate the mouse a lot. I've never seen any other input device that is as exact and that you can use for hours and hours without getting tired and sore.

      I can think of one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trackball

    15. Re:The really sad thing about this... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Citation needed.

    16. Re:The really sad thing about this... by badasscat · · Score: 1

      The only way the keyboard is going away is with voice recognition that doesn't suck.

      I doubt that would even do it. People don't talk coherently - it's a well-known fact of linguistics. When you're in a conversation, you sort of riff off the person you're talking to, responding to each other's body language with your own body language that supplements or even replaces your words. When you're trying to talk to an inanimate object, you still talk basically the same way out of habit, but at the same time you lose your bearings a bit because you have no visual feedback as you're talking. So you lose even further coherence.

      Not to mention that working in an office where everybody is constantly talking to their computers is not really going to be very productive. We don't all have privacy. I have six people directly around me and if I had to listen to them all talking to their computers 8 hours out of the day, I think I'd go insane. (Also, I wouldn't be able to comment on Slashdot during working hours anymore!)

    17. Re:The really sad thing about this... by sBox · · Score: 1

      Thoughts: Gesturing cannot replace a keyboard, but it would create make many redundant tasks faster, like a microwave 'popcorn' button . Imagine programming in ASL. You'd have to have one gesture template for each type of use: one for math, one for general writing, one for programming, etc.

    18. Re:The really sad thing about this... by Drakkenmensch · · Score: 1

      Imagine 100 tech support agents in the same office, talking to both the caller on their phone AND their computer at once. It's only a matter of time before "Peach Wreck Ignition Probe Limes" start popping up...

    19. Re:The really sad thing about this... by Midgarn · · Score: 1

      I'm sure I'm not alone in not looking forward to being surrounded by an office full people jabbering at their computers

      At this office in particular, I think 75% of the work gets done on the phone. Voice-recognition computers would eliminate the multi-tasking of writing a document while gathering information.

    20. Re:The really sad thing about this... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Format"!

      "C:"!

      "Return"!

    21. Re:The really sad thing about this... by trolltalk.com · · Score: 1

      "Besides the fact that talking for hours to your computer is extremely tiresome, just like hearing everyone in your office is extremely tiresome... the security issues of everyone speaking out loud what they type would be astronomical. I mean it doesn't make any sense, and it will never make any sense."

      But think of the benefits. Stupid ideas nipped in the bud because, as someone "dictates" their proposal into their email program, everyone else who's stuck in the same area starts laughing or going "that's one fucked-up idea."

      Too many ideas receive consideration because some moron has made them into a powerpoint presentation, along with an overly-optimistic spreadsheet, and a cut-n-paste "executive overview."

      -- Note: Any typos are due to having to type ths in idle's 20-character-wide text box. WTF can't they fix that?

  6. Apples and Onions by EightBits · · Score: 0, Troll

    News from theonion.com? That's more legit than Apple's advertising team in the 1970s. Mac fans probably wont be able to tell the difference!

    1. Re:Apples and Onions by Wintermute__ · · Score: 1

      The previous comment was funny. This one is the troll, you stupid fucks.

      Err, no, that's a flame. A Troll is when you try to get people to reply to your post as if it were serious and...

      Damn it!

  7. MacWheel Shuffle by starglider29a · · Score: 1, Interesting

    The way that my jobs works out, I could do MOST of it with a Wheel! And if I got the MacWheel Shuffle, I could NOT show up, and half the office wouldn't notice ;-)

    1. Re:MacWheel Shuffle by camperdave · · Score: 2, Funny

      And if I got the MacWheel Shuffle, I could NOT show up, and half the office wouldn't notice

      You could get a cardboard cutout made of yourself to fool the rest of the office.

      --
      When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
    2. Re:MacWheel Shuffle by linkedlinked · · Score: 1

      You must be... a DJ?

    3. Re:MacWheel Shuffle by starglider29a · · Score: 1

      Just an IT guy among non-it guys. But with the Firefox Awesome bar, I can usually get to every site I need with a unique pair of letters. "SL" will get me to Slashdot. And with my hands on the keyboard (working), I can hit SL faster than reaching for a mouse and bookmark.

      Ok, it WOULD be a little tough to write a serious SQL query with a wheel... How did Stephen Hawking operate his thingee?

    4. Re:MacWheel Shuffle by emlyncorrin · · Score: 4, Funny

      You could get a cardboard cutout made of yourself to fool the rest of the office.

      It'd probably be less painfull if you got it made of cardboard.

    5. Re:MacWheel Shuffle by Valdrax · · Score: 1

      Jetson! You're fired.

      --
      If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
    6. Re:MacWheel Shuffle by Merls+the+Sneaky · · Score: 1

      "How did Stephen Hawking operate his thingee?"

      Probably the same way as the rest of us until his muscles gave out. Now hew has someone else operrate his "thingee".

  8. MS Bob by salarelv · · Score: 1

    Probably Apples MS Bob

  9. Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by Juggz · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Seriously? A joke article on slashdot, on a regular news day..

    1. Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by wild_berry · · Score: 5, Funny

      MacWorld San Francisco is today. This content is made available to you as part of their 'driving and leveraging for increased consumer experience' toward the '"Idle" supersite subbrand of the Slashdot publishing matrix'.

      This post took 119 minutes to write on my new MacBook Wheel.

    2. Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by jayhawk88 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Oh noes, it took up almost 2 cm of your screen when you opened Slashdot, and perhaps as much as 3 minutes of your opening morning avoid-work browsing to view the video, however will you recover from such trauma?

    3. Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      -/? This is slashdot, not dashslash.

    4. Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by tiedyejeremy · · Score: 1

      I'm disappointed.

      --
      Anything you say will be held against you. ... "tits"
    5. Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by Hal_Porter · · Score: 1

      I think it's a test to see how many slashdotters can spot satire. I must say they seem to be doing better than I expected. Presumably if the satire detection had been sufficiently low Taco would have announced that Slashdot would no longer be available as a website, and instead we would have to pay money to move to a commune in Waco to get the stories read to us.

      --
      echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
    6. Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by Peregr1n · · Score: 1

      Yeah, it's annoying. Although I've got idle turned off on my /. preferences for the front page, it doesn't change the RSS feeds, so I clicked on this from iGoogle thinking it was a serious article. I don't have a sense of humour, you insensitive clod!

    7. Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      ...Says the very serious person who calls him/herself "Juggz"

    8. Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by fafaforza · · Score: 1

      Do you seriously lack onine news sources to read and places to comment?

    9. Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by gsgriffin · · Score: 2, Insightful

      WHY? Because it's damn funny!! If you can laugh at the jokes made at MS (which I assume you do), then take a little...everyone on /. knows that Mac users give a lot of lip. Take a joke and enjoy it. This was better done than anything I've ever seen come from the Apple basher club.

      --
      jsut athnoer menagiensls ltitle psrhae for you to dcoede. Why do we wtsae our tmie dnoig tihs?
    10. Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I thought that /. front page was for news, not April fool's jokes. WTF.

    11. Re:Why is this on the -/ frontpage? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Take it easy. We won't miss you.

  10. 2 things put me off on this by geeper · · Score: 5, Funny

    1. 45 minutes to type a simple email.
    2. The dude that said "I'll buy anything thats shiny made by Apple!"

    --
    Error reading device 'Signature'. (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail?
    1. Re:2 things put me off on this by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      how do you not know this is a fake video?

    2. Re:2 things put me off on this by geeper · · Score: 1, Funny

      Because on the freakin' web, everything is real...duh?

      --
      Error reading device 'Signature'. (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail?
    3. Re:2 things put me off on this by troll8901 · · Score: 1

      3. Battery lasts a full 19 minutes.

      4. $9000 for the 40GB option.

      .

      I love it! I bet it'll be THE product of 1960!

    4. Re:2 things put me off on this by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      What about the alphabetical list of files... "Everything is just a few HUNDRED clicks away". I had to listen to it 3 times to actually believe it. :-)

    5. Re:2 things put me off on this by tcr · · Score: 1

      What about the bit at the end of the video, about the sudoku serial killer?
      Police say he might strike again, killing 1, 4 or 9 victims.
       
      That bit is real, right? :-)

      --


      Information wants to be beer.
  11. I know... by XPeter · · Score: 4, Funny

    This is a bit "out there", but to be perfectly honest I'd rather use a laptop running VISTA over that silly Macbook Wheel. It will take me more time to type an e-mail on that thing, then it would to send an e-mail on Vista. This is what happens when Steve gets sick, Apple gets desperate for ideas.

    --
    "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits" - Albert Einstein
    1. Re:I know... by edmudama · · Score: 1

      Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?

      --
      More data, damnit!
    2. Re:I know... by Jawn98685 · · Score: 1

      Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?

      Touche', sir. I salute your artful approach to the otherwise simple act of "shooting fish in a barrel". Now let us pause and lament that there are so many fucking fish.

    3. Re:I know... by mobby_6kl · · Score: 4, Funny

      I think you're missing the real genious here. What Apple/Steve did is simplify the computing experience so that it "just works". If you were to type an email in Vista, you'd have to use the confusing keyboad which has way too many buttons. A common keyboard has about a hundred too many.

      Instead, you just flick the wheel around until you get to the character you need, like you would with a safe. That's it, there's just one device you interface with, and everything is a single fluid motion around the wheel. As is often the case, you're just stuck with your old obsolete ways, while Steve has seen the light and wants to share with us all.

    4. Re:I know... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      And that if you type "google" into Google, you'll break the internet!

    5. Re:I know... by gomiam · · Score: 1

      Oh, really? Or perhaps you were trying to make a joke.

    6. Re:I know... by elrous0 · · Score: 1

      How much do you want for it? Whatever it is, I'll pay it!

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    7. Re:I know... by stuntpope · · Score: 1

      Perhaps, indeed.

    8. Re:I know... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Is Steve working on the next revision of Newspeak dictionary? If they are playing with new HIDs then is there any paw print biometrics in the works?

    9. Re:I know... by fractoid · · Score: 1

      I'm not convinced. I know these new 'Wheel' interfaces are more user friendly but really... for expert users the 'keyboard' is here to stay. For one thing text entry and command line usage are still so much faster!!

      GPP still had a point about Vista, though.

      --
      Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
    10. Re:I know... by Hotawa+Hawk-eye · · Score: 1

      I thought Apple already made a product like that -- the iLabelMaker. Indeed, that's what I first thought of when I saw the name "MacBook Wheel" -- a MacBook with a label maker's interface.

    11. Re:I know... by The+End+Of+Days · · Score: 1

      I have to wonder why people with no sense of humor bother to comment in the idle section.

    12. Re:I know... by gomiam · · Score: 1

      Actually, it just showed up on my metamoderation list.

    13. Re:I know... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I think you're missing the real genious here. What Apple/Steve did is simplify the computing experience so that it "just works". If you were to type an email in Vista, you'd have to use the confusing keyboad which has way too many buttons. A common keyboard has about a hundred too many.

      Instead, you just flick the wheel around until you get to the character you need, like you would with a safe. That's it, there's just one device you interface with, and everything is a single fluid motion around the wheel. As is often the case, you're just stuck with your old obsolete ways, while Steve has seen the light and wants to share with us all.

      what do you mean?
      do you not like vista or something?
      i 3 vista!

  12. Ob ... by BESTouff · · Score: 5, Funny
    - Dear MacFan, will you defend the new MacBook Wheel without even knowing what it is ?

    - Yes, iWheel !

    1. Re:Ob ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      - Dear MacFan, will you defend the new MacBook Wheel without even knowing what it is ?

      - Yes, iWheel !

      Ok that one had me laughing till i cried.

    2. Re:Ob ... by denmarkw00t · · Score: 1

      I know, it would've taken 20 minutes to write "Obligatory" on your MacBook wheel - I'm still using one of those damn keyboards and it only took me half a minute to type this - can't wait for that wheeeel!

  13. 10-to-1 by PortHaven · · Score: 2, Funny

    Next year's big Apple announcement will be the elimination of keyboards from the MacBook Air. Just touch sensitive pads so that we can make it even THINNER!!!!

    1. Re:10-to-1 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why wait until next year?

    2. Re:10-to-1 by Ecuador · · Score: 1

      Uh oh, that is scary, because it is not that outlandish as the wheel so I could see Apple pulling that off and convincing everyone it is better (AKA "cooler").
      I mean, imagine that reading the summary, for a moment, I actually thought Apple might be giving this a go!
      For example I remember how people were telling me for years that you only need one mouse button, especially when the mouse looks nice.

      Anyway, this should not be on Slashdot front page unless it is April fools, but it is a great video nonetheless! "Virtually unbreakable unless dropped or hit"

      --
      Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Polar Scope Align for iOS
    3. Re:10-to-1 by 26199 · · Score: 1

      This already exists... it's called the MacNTouch, and is sadly no longer produced: http://www.fingerworks.com/MacNTouch_product.html

    4. Re:10-to-1 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just touch sensitive pads so that we can make it even THINNER!!!!

      wow, that reminds me of the old TK-82 (which also happened to have pads). Only 2k of RAM, true... but had pads =D

  14. Recycled jokes. by Vellmont · · Score: 0

    IIRC this joke is 10 years old. I think I saw it in The Onion around 10 years ago. The fact that Slashdot fell for it makes up for the old joke.

    --
    AccountKiller
    1. Re:Recycled jokes. by Zironic · · Score: 1

      You're aware this is idle right?

    2. Re:Recycled jokes. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      woosh

    3. Re:Recycled jokes. by Vellmont · · Score: 1

      And this matters why?

      --
      AccountKiller
    4. Re:Recycled jokes. by Cannelloni · · Score: 1

      Why spoil the fun?

      --
      Beauty is in the beholder of the eye.
    5. Re:Recycled jokes. by fafaforza · · Score: 0

      I'll voice a vote of support. Everyone should keep a rolladex of jokes they've heard for at least 10 years (preferably 15) and when they hear a joke that's already in that rolladex (or database, whatever you're into), they should be grumpy about it and tell perfect strangers how they've already heard it before, even if the new take is somewhat funny. Taking claim to already having heard said joke should take precedence over having any enjoyment out of it.

    6. Re:Recycled jokes. by Vellmont · · Score: 1

      The difference here is that the same joke was already published in The Onion. If you haven't heard it before, great. But if you really don't see that The Onion digging up stories from 10 years ago and reprinting them with some minor changes is kind of lame, I think that's kind of sad.

      --
      AccountKiller
    7. Re:Recycled jokes. by fafaforza · · Score: 1

      I'd feel sadder about my own existance if I had any recollection at all of a joke from the Onion from 10 years ago.

    8. Re:Recycled jokes. by Vellmont · · Score: 1

      I see. So you're just a troll then?

      --
      AccountKiller
    9. Re:Recycled jokes. by camperdave · · Score: 1

      It doesn't matter at all...
      which is the point of idle.

      That and their stupid 22
      character wide comment
      input
      box.

      --
      When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
    10. Re:Recycled jokes. by The+End+Of+Days · · Score: 1

      Lighten up, Francis.

  15. I expect by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    that there won't be any optical drives. Too low tech for those yuppies that buy that stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against Apple, per se, but I just don't like that would (for example) sell an iDrive for $249, and all it is is a $49 Segate hard drive with a damn shiny case.

  16. Leave it to Apple... by techstar25 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Leave it to Apple to reinvent the wheel...

    1. Re:Leave it to Apple... by jez9999 · · Score: 1

      Seriously, though, I think Apple missed a trick here. I'm really hoping they'll invent the iNothing. People are regularly asking what could be simpler than a wheel, and whilst I agree that they have got it down quite nicely, they could go further.

      With the iNothing, you don't have the hassle of using the wheel or viewing a screen, you just have to do nothing! Now it really doesn't get simpler than that. I'd pay $5000 for that, minimum!

    2. Re:Leave it to Apple... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Now I can follow IRC conversations again!

  17. Ligfhten up dude. /. did. :-) by crovira · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Personally, I thought it was a bit of a waste of space but its "The Onion" what else could is be?

    --
    MSBPodcast.com The opinions expressed here are my own. If you don't like 'em... Think up your own stuff.
  18. Not funny enough by Carniphage · · Score: 0, Troll

    That video must have cost a fortune to make. It's a pity the premise was just was not that funny to start with. Dear Onion, Throwing cash at a weak joke does not make it super hilarious. C.

    1. Re:Not funny enough by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Oh, you must not have to live with fan boys.. this crap was freakin hilarious

    2. Re:Not funny enough by denzacar · · Score: 1

      Nah... He probably IS a fanboy, with a serious case of sour grapes.

      Its never funny when it is about YOUR object of desire and affection, right?

      --
      Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
  19. From TFV by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    "I'll buy anything from Apple if it's shiny and new."

    Kinda says it all about the target demographic.

  20. Re:Yeah by meist3r · · Score: 3, Funny

    Your comment sucks. You suck. I love you.

  21. Yeah, that'll fly... by BMWTwisty · · Score: 1

    "...sonofabitch! It's a crummy commercial!"

    1. Re:Yeah, that'll fly... by jbeaupre · · Score: 1

      Where did you learn that word? It's Lifebouy for you, young man!

      --
      The world is made by those who show up for the job.
  22. Timing is everything by malice · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I'm sure this being on the front page of /. has nothing to do with the Macworld Expo keynote that takes place in a matter of hours...

  23. mactini by stiller · · Score: 2, Funny

    Puts me in mind of this recent spoof, by Peter Serafinowicz: http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/348881/d4b348a0/de_mactini.html

  24. Are you serious? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Well, if this' not a bad joke... despite 45 min to write a proper text...

    Does anyone else know why keybs have so much keys and why are there in the way they're placed? Just for imagination: we have 10 fingers and we want them not to be atrophiated (deformed)...

    1. Re:Are you serious? by Big+Hairy+Ian · · Score: 1

      The Qwerty Keyboard is actually designed to slow the typist down because it dates back to the old mechanical typewriters that used to jam up if you went too fast. You can now get ergonomic keyboards that are designed to let you type as fast as you like however I've only ever seen them used by people poking them with one finger at a time.

      --

      Build a Man a Fire, and He'll Be Warm for a Day. Set a Man on Fire, and He'll Be Warm for the Rest of His Life.

    2. Re:Are you serious? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The Qwerty Keyboard is actually designed to slow the typist down because it dates back to the old mechanical typewriters that used to jam up if you went too fast.

      You know, I wish stupid people like you who parrot this BS would just Darwin yourself.

      Here, I'll help you with some critical thinking:

      How is it possible for people to touch-type when the device they would touch-type on hasn't been invented yet?

      Now, hopefully you'll put some thought into this and your head will explode, leaving us with one moron fewer.

    3. Re:Are you serious? by troll8901 · · Score: 2, Informative

      The Qwerty Keyboard is actually designed to separate often-used letter-pairs to opposite ends because it dates back to the old mechanical typewriters that used to jam up if you went too fast due to typebars being located beside one another.

      There, fixed it for ya.

      "Sholes struggled for the next six years to perfect his invention, making many trial-and-error rearrangements of the original machine's alphabetical key arrangement in an effort to reduce the frequency of typebar clashes." QWERTY

      As to why QWERTY is selected for computer keyboards, I can't find the answer. I believe it may partly be due to the popularity of the Selectric typewriter.

      .

      You can now get ergonomic keyboards that are designed to let you type as fast as you like

      To PP:
      I can ship you one if you like. Only $299.99 excluding S&H. It has 104 keys, allowing you to use your existing investments to the fullest!

    4. Re:Are you serious? by hesiod · · Score: 1

      Dense much? The device existed already, but it had a different key layout.

    5. Re:Are you serious? by DUdsen · · Score: 1

      Because most of the early typing contest were won by people writing on qwerty and that the avrenge speed of user on qwerty keyboard is faster the lets say dvorak whem mesuared against real life people with existing skills. Actually wery few tests not performad by Dvorak hiself show the Qwerty keyboard as slower then any other design with the posible exeption of engelbrechts 5 key one.

      The myth ithat the keys were araged to just slow speed is not actually the full truth. the real point of qwerty is to avoid that syncronisation of keys and roller should macth in a way so that letters placed next to eachother got entered after another(a problem that apeared with the abcd keyboard). and since back then the order on the roler decided the keyboard layout qwerty was what came out. qwerty did go down well because the qwerty machines did in fact allow faster typing then most it's contemporary competitors.

  25. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  26. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  27. This is great news by Cannelloni · · Score: 1

    I'm actually surprised this hasn't happened before. People are too lazy to type or read anyway, so why bother with a keyboard? But using the terminal will be a bit tricky...

    --
    Beauty is in the beholder of the eye.
    1. Re:This is great news by dotancohen · · Score: 1
      --
      It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
    2. Re:This is great news by Cannelloni · · Score: 1

      You mean like you have like a computer with a mouse? You must have a newer model than me.

      --
      Beauty is in the beholder of the eye.
    3. Re:This is great news by dotancohen · · Score: 1

      These darn rodents get into all the darndest of places!

      Actually, I hardly ever touch the rodent. That's what Vimperator is for.

      --
      It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
    4. Re:This is great news by terjeber · · Score: 1

      People are too lazy to type or read anyway

      You are absolutely right, which is why this half-assed move from Apple surprises me a little bit. Well, perhaps not, when Apple does stuff they always do it half way.

      As you point out, people are too lazy to type and read, so what is it with the bright and shiny LCD that they ship this with? Typical Apple Tax. They want all my money, but they give me stuff I don't need nor want. Dropping the keyboard is great, but why force me to buy a screen? I am not going to type on the keyboard, why do they think I would want to read the screen?

      Release this thing without the superfluous screen, then I'll buy it. Price it somewhere between $4K and $5K and it will be at the top of my list. Create it with a magnesium chassis and a carbon fiber shell, and I'll even pay twice as much. Now that would be the ideal laptop. If they can get battery life to something decent, like 27 minutes, I would never have to buy a computer ever again.

  28. A joke with a deeper meaning... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This is some funny stuff !
    Made my day =)

    But seriously, where are the hightech interface stuff? We are all still using keyboards !
    Ten years ago we had voice recognize software, record eye movement tracking -> pointer theories and auto complete / auto correct spelling utils.
    What new interface have we adopted in the last 10 years?

    Answer is: Ipod wheel

  29. Swing and a miss. by SetupWeasel · · Score: 1

    This joke is about 5 years late, just like their Dick Cheney/undisclosed location joke I saw a few weeks back.

    I remember when the Onion was something special.

  30. This doesn't belong here by torstenvl · · Score: 1, Insightful

    Really really terrible submission. Should have been rejected.

    For those plaintively responding "But this is idle" ... no it's not. It originated on Idle but it's on the front page, where it emphatically and utterly does not belong.

    1. Re:This doesn't belong here by PK_ERTW · · Score: 4, Insightful
      So, any topic that shows up on 'idle' is banned from appearing on the front page?

      This is a story that clearly belongs in idle. It is also, in one dudes opinion, from the top of that pile. So if the category exists, does the cream of it not belong on the front page?

      PK

      --
      Engineers arn't boring people, we just get excited about boring things.
    2. Re:This doesn't belong here by k7gixxer · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Where do you think that many Slashdot stories originate from? That's right - from other sections, of which Idle is just one. And they can appear on the front page! Wow! -1 to you, for being a humourless plonk.

    3. Re:This doesn't belong here by lymond01 · · Score: 1

      So I have one of these and I'm going to flame your elitism right off the Internet if I can finish wheeling before my battery r

    4. Re:This doesn't belong here by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Let me guess, you are an Apple zealot who see's a little too much "truth" in that parody of the pathetic cult of personality that is Apple.

    5. Re:This doesn't belong here by Red+Flayer · · Score: 1

      Who cares? This is ostly for the parent to your post -- if you don't want idle stories on the front page, change your preferences to not show idle stories on the front page.

      You have the power. You decide what your front page looks like. If you're too lazy to change your preferences, then why aren't you too lazy to bitch and complain?

      --
      "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
    6. Re:This doesn't belong here by 3.1415926535 · · Score: 1

      Click on "Help & Preferences", click on "Sections" under the "Index" heading, click the leftmost circle next to "Idle" in the box that pops up, and then click save.

    7. Re:This doesn't belong here by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You seriously lack critical thinking skills.

  31. The Onion by csartanis · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    Why is this shit on the front page?

  32. The guessed phrases kinda suck... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    One of the options was "The abortion went well".

    Huh?

  33. the Onion have been right before now... by advocate_one · · Score: 5, Informative
    --
    Donald 'Duck' Dunn: We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.
    1. Re:the Onion have been right before now... by ari_j · · Score: 1

      I still want a Spishak Mach 20. Or at least a link to the ad for it.

    2. Re:the Onion have been right before now... by ari_j · · Score: 1

      Never mind, I found it!

    3. Re:the Onion have been right before now... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      not to mention this story written in 2000... it's actually humourous how much of this actually came true.

  34. First Post! by hansamurai · · Score: 5, Funny

    with Macbook Wheel

  35. 8==D by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    8==D

  36. Well the iPhone has no keyboard by hey · · Score: 1

    (I know this is a joke.)
    The predicted 7 inch iBook will not have a keyboard. Will probably have a virtual keyboard like the iPhone.
    So not to crazy to imagine a full sized laptop with a virtual keyboard.
    Of course the wheel is silly.

  37. The Next Generation by mikael · · Score: 1

    And the next generation version will replace the two-dimension wheel with a little sphere that can be rotated through the use of a finger - it will be called te MacBall.

    --
    Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
  38. LMAO by No2Gates · · Score: 0

    I'll bet 50 bucks there would be a line at the door 25 people deep at the Apple stores on a joke release date.

    --
    Every time you call tech support, a little kitten dies.
  39. Almost had me... by rickb928 · · Score: 1

    ...and now I want a wheel in place of my trackpad.

    Damn you, Jobs!

    --
    deleting the extra space after periods so i can stay relevant, yeah.
  40. argh by revxul · · Score: 1

    For a second, I thought it was April Fools Day. Screw you, Slashdot, for making me think spring was here!

    --
    Truth, Just Us, And Hatred For All Mankind!
  41. Obvious Publicity Stunt by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This story is an obvious publicity stunt for CommonCents. I can't believe it got published.

  42. Fantastic Innovation! by gfxguy · · Score: 1

    Nothing is more than a few hundred clicks away!

    --
    Stupid sexy Flanders.
  43. Love this... by leamanc · · Score: 1

    "One button. Endless possibilities." That's totally something Apple would put on a poster.

    --
    :q!
  44. I can't find my car keys. by StreetStealth · · Score: 2, Funny

    How did you Added your own Sentenced, The actor asked for an aardvark. 16uy89; ?

    Sent from my MacBook Wheel.

    --
    Your mind is clear / The things that you fear / Will fade with how much you / Believe what you hear
  45. Re:Are you kidding me? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    A very-well done Apple spoof, released on the day of the last MacWorld. Couldn't be more on-topic if you ask me.

    And I say this as an Apple user myself.

  46. Apple working on next Generation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Apple engineering is looking do away with the screen for it's next generation, to significantly cut down weight.

  47. This seems familiar ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Oh yes, that's right, the SAW - 'Spinning Alphabet Wheel' for the Macintosh.

    Appeared in a dead-tree version of the onion in ~94/95ish. Either inspired by or the inspiration for news posts in some rec.humor group at about the same time?

    So now the Onion is ripping off itself or usenet posts from 15 years prior? Have they already used up all the funny?

  48. Hilarious! by Slash.Poop · · Score: 1

    What makes it so funny is how close to reality every single piece of the spoof actually could be.

    "I'll buy anything as long as it is shinny and made buy Apple." said the sheep

  49. First! by ionymous · · Score: 0

    Damn. I thought I had it. Stupid MacWheel!!!

  50. Why voice is bad for Input? by flamewatcher · · Score: 1, Insightful

    The reason why voice is such a bad input is not that the recognition programs are so bad but it is in the way the brain works. I use the same part of my brain to speak the sentence as I do to think about what I am going to say. Where as with finger (keyboard) input I can think about what should be recorded and let a different part of the brain control the fingers and let them do it. Like multi tasking the brain.

  51. Predictive Typing... by XxtraLarGe · · Score: 1

    Check out the suggestions for the predicted typing: "The aardvark admitted it was wrong."

    --
    Taking guns away from the 99% gives the 1% 100% of the power.
    1. Re:Predictive Typing... by The+Second+Horseman · · Score: 1

      "The abortion was successful" was another one.

  52. Boot Camp, here I come! by scourfish · · Score: 1

    I am a long time Apple enthusiast. I really like their products, but I absolutely hate their software. Whenever I get an Apple product, the first thing I do is dual boot. I'm really looking forward to using the GRUB boot loader with the ease of the scroll wheel.

  53. You have to admit though, that was high quality by AndyMcL · · Score: 1

    You have to admit though, that was a high quality spoof. They did a great job making the fake product and making it look like it works. As well as the surrounding expo looking backdrop.

    Very funny.

    -Andy

    1. Re:You have to admit though, that was high quality by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      making it look like it works

      You must work for MicroSoft marketing department. That or you are their target audience.

  54. Re:Yeah by bikehorn · · Score: 2, Insightful

    This is not a troll post. This is 100% insightful. Mod parent up! Idle and The Onion were funny back in like 2003 maybe.

  55. iNothing by dna_(c)(tm)(r) · · Score: 1

    That's just Steve Jobs making sure Jeff Bezos's 1-click patent remains relevant...

  56. Generation Twitter by samdutton · · Score: 1

    I guess Mac users lose interest after 140 characters.

  57. I have a friend who might benefit from this. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    He doesn't know a damn about typing properly, and he refuses to learn. I think that for him, typing with this giant wheel might actually be faster.

    Meanwhile, I'll stick with my laptop that has a keyboard, Vista, and Ubuntu on it.

  58. Direct link by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    They disabled maximize in that lame implementation of jwplayer, and pausing triggers an overlay that covers the picture.
    Here's the direct link to the video:
    http://videos.theonion.com/onion_video/2009/01/06/NO_KEYBOARD.flv

  59. OK by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I'm done with slashdot.

  60. Best Quote by smalltownhick · · Score: 1

    Best quote "everything is just a few hundred clicks away"... very funny.

  61. Beavis, you idiot... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    She said "Dick King"...heh heh, pffh pffh

  62. Steve Jobs ... by PPH · · Score: 1, Funny

    ... is rolling over in his grave.

    --
    Have gnu, will travel.
  63. FUCK THIS by hivemind_mvgc · · Score: 2, Informative

    If I wanted to have to wade through The Onion's rubbish disguised as news all the time, I'd be over at Digg. The Onion, while funny, should NEVER be front page news at Slashdot - BECAUSE IT AIN'T NEWS! Seriously, what's next? Lolcats? Come on...

    --
    I support the FairTax www.fairtax.org
  64. Take this shit out of my RSS feeds! by D4MO · · Score: 1

    God damn it!

    --

    Rocket science is easy. Neurosurgery, now *that's* difficult.
  65. Instead of scrolling... by GuineaPigMan · · Score: 1

    What if there were a wheel with the alphabet laid out around it, so that you would pick the letter from around the wheel, instead of scrolling through letters? I realize this is a joke, but I didn't realize it at first, and thought "what could you do with such a thing?" The keyboard in fact is difficult and slow for some people (especially those not brought up in the computer age,) so could there be a faster way for them to type? I'm not saying a wheel is the answer, but considering other possibilities as well as a keyboard might not be a bad idea.

    1. Re:Instead of scrolling... by GrahamCox · · Score: 2, Funny

      Even better, for phones, you coukld have a wheel with the numbers arranged around it. Then to dial *any number*, you just rotate the wheel to the number you want! It would be great, much easier than those stupid pushbuttons.

  66. Sweet by Icegryphon · · Score: 0

    I love this, perfect saracasm from the Onion yet again.

  67. The Net reference? by recharged95 · · Score: 1
    Angela Bennett does have a sister! And she's a newscaster! Cool.

    .

    I guess the onion tv bug [placement] is equivalent to a pie symbol?

    .

    Great easter egg Onion....

  68. Will weigh 4 ounces less... by rmedinaday · · Score: 1

    Due to it's lack of Screen, Hard Drive or Wheel... LMAO!!!

  69. Almost perfect by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Jobs on Macworld? Isn't he in home for recovering his health?
    These guys from Onion are really good, but they slipped into that fact this time. :)

  70. They must be out of their minds. by john.picard · · Score: 1

    This is totally retarded! How in the hell are you supposed to type anything with this nightmare? 45 minutes to type an email and only 20 minutes of battery life?! And the most ridiculous thing is when all your files are in alphabetical order like that, so you have to sift through the whole computer to find it. The guy even admitted that you have to make a few hundred clicks to reach the file you want! This must be some sort of ploy to get people to run out and buy all the remaining MacBooks BEFORE this ridiculous change is implemented. I for one am NOT going to get one of those stupid "wheel" MacBooks. If they came up with an Apple n*tbook that used a wheel, maybe that would be kind of weird and cool, but there is no way you can possibly do any serious work with this.

    1. Re:They must be out of their minds. by Onyma · · Score: 1

      Someone missed the fact this was made by The Onion and therefore is all a joke :)

      --
      Play me online? Well you know that I'll beat you. If I ever meet you I'll "/sbin/shutdown -h now" you. -Weird Al, kinda.
  71. It'll never be not funny by Aphoxema · · Score: 1

    The Onion really shells out to get a laugh, that must have cost at least thousands to put together.

    The mockups were remarkable though, a wheel instead of a keyboard really is just ridiculous, but maybe if they put one beside the keyboard it could do something interesting and useful. Apple has always impressed me with the way they used capacitive sensing, they could do quite a bit more.

    That just gave me an idea for a keyboard with 'normal' keys to give you the tactile feedback, but as you touch each key it lights up or something, or applications make some use of it... to... uhh... something cool, God damnit!

    --
    "Most people, I think, don't even know what a rootkit is, so why should they care about it?"
  72. hahaha by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    He said, nothing is more than a few hundred clicks away, lol...

  73. Wheel? We can do better: Rubik's Cube by sparkyradar · · Score: 1

    I'm waiting for someone to come up with an input-device modelled on a Rubik's Cube. Man, *that* would prevent computing-whle-drunk. Or, in my case, I would probably never get the letters I wanted, in the right order :-O

  74. Re:Yeah by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    You sound like my wife.

  75. Re:The CowTax by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Warning! Humor site. Don't click! :)

    Why did I not heed this warning? Please pass the bleach.

  76. Stops fat fingers by Neanderthal+Ninny · · Score: 1

    This will stop some fat finger typing.
    Also this will allow people with mittens on to type.

    1. Re:Stops fat fingers by speedingant · · Score: 1

      If they are Apple Mittensâ, absolutely.

  77. Anonymous Coward by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Why the hell is this on the front page? I don't come to slashdot to read joke news. Especially when it isn't listed as joke news and I had to click through to the onion before I realized it was a joke. Save the humor for April 1st guys. If I want to see something funny that isn't true I'll go somewhere else.

  78. Re:The CowTax by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Did you watch all of it? It looks like the guy doesn't even get all of it out...

  79. how the hell by masshuu · · Score: 0

    has no one commented on this being a giant ipod?

    --
    O.o
  80. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  81. This is totally fake by mysidia · · Score: 1

    Where are slashdots editors, and why doesn't the article mention it's a joke and not real news.

    The site is News for Nerds: Stuff that matters NOT Rumors/Jokes/Spoof news for Nerds: Stuff that's funny

    Please fix this, so Slashdot can maybe spare a little of the credibility remaining from its glorious history...

  82. fail by vaporland · · Score: 1

    colossal

    --
    Ask Me About... The 80's!
  83. Apostrophe's by jandersen · · Score: 2, Funny

    Apples' latest must have gadget

    Thi's seem's to have been written by a per'son who ha's no idea where to put hi's apo'strophe's

    1. Re:Apostrophe's by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Insightful

      Apples' latest must have gadget

      Thi's seem's to have been written by a per'son who ha's no idea where to put hi's apo'strophe's

      Although it is, indeed, correct.
      when a word finishes with a 'S' and you want to apply it as a possessive pronoun, it is necessary to use an apostrophe next to it...

    2. Re:Apostrophe's by SupremoMan · · Score: 1

      Only that the company is not called Apples, it's Apple. Hence Apple's not Apples'.

  84. Not the weirdest by MykeBNY · · Score: 1

    Hey, it's not too far off from plausible. Check out the Microsoft Big Ass Table(tm)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZrr7AZ9nCY

  85. Slashdot.fake by dark_zacharias · · Score: 1

    What the fake? It's totally amazing to see that nobody's telling it's a joke ! Slashdot's turning fake or what?

  86. Anonymous Coward by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    will this work with windows 95?

  87. No keyboard - two mice. by MikeFM · · Score: 1

    Reminds me of a fun project I did a couple years ago where I did away with the keyboard and set up double mice to be used together. You could mouse with both mice and by holding down the left middle mouse button you could use simple gestures from the two mice to type and do other things pretty effectively. It worked pretty well but would probably never catch on as it requires learning gestures. The general idea was to make the computer more usable for people who could use mice but not keyboards (due to trouble moving their fingers).

    --
    At what price learning? At what cost wisdom? The price is a man's peace of mind, and the cost is his life.
    1. Re:No keyboard - two mice. by Gallomimia · · Score: 1

      Sounds less useful than the BAT 7 key keyboard. Chording and modifiers make it possible to type very quickly and with one hand. I wanted one so that I could type while gaming. Then I got a mic and ventrilo.

      --
      Sadly, a Libertarian cannot force his views on another, and freedom cannot spread as does the cancer known as religion.
  88. Fake? Or not? Does it matter? by alexjustdoit · · Score: 1

    Don't know if it's real or not, looks real and it's a good idea but one button. Seriously? And also, 45 min for a small email? And a 19 min battery? Seriously, Apple looks like it's going to become just like Microsoft at the fact that no one who is involved in developing the product has ever actually used it. So what if it's ultra-thin. It doesn't matter if you can't use it for more than 30 min. 30 min is the bare minimum in my opinion, and 45 seems like the max. Also, for a laugh (and a hint at whether or not this is fake) go to 2:17 in the video and watch the scrolling newsfeed at the bottom.

  89. DUMB by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    This is Fucking STUPID that guy took 45mins to write an EMAILED ?!?!!? are you serious dumbest thing in the world

  90. obligatory... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Whoosh!

  91. Won't work. by DaVince21 · · Score: 1

    One Button. At least ten times as much time wasted to find your letter, word, sentence, file, program, action... Simplifying into less buttons doesn't necessarily make a device more user-friendly or quick to use, rather, it can slow down usage because you could possibly miss the option you were looking for and have to go back for it, or it could plain be faster because it only requires one action: pressing the right key to get the right letter to appear.

    This isn't the future of computers, this is a gadget that won't work.

    --
    I am not devoid of humor.
  92. from chinese opinion by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I am a Chinese college teacher, because the goods' price in China is the lowest, and the quality is superior. So, if you want to buy Chinese handiwork, speciality, goods etc. for yourself or as gifts to your boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, juniors and so on. I can help you in china, even though one piece, the commission is 2 %, and part of the commission will be given to the poor children. Please send your information to gorgehu1@live.cn or talk with me through msn messenger. Including buying for you, investment, management, hotel, amendment, marketing, analysis, program, translation, etc.

  93. we finally will get rid of the i by stefaanh · · Score: 1

    The Mac uTurn

    --
    --------
    * Sigh *
  94. Is it me... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ... or do the Whoosh's get louder the further down you go?