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How Office Depot Pushes Service Plans On Customers
Harry writes "I was amused, appalled, and angry — yes, all three — when I spotted signs above every register at my local Office Depot with handy scripts for clerks to use in 'recommending' that customers buy extra-cost, extremely profitable protection plans. And now Laptop Magazine has posted an eye-opening investigative report that charges local Office Depot stores with instructing staffers to lie and tell people who want to buy laptops without service plans that they're out of stock." Update: 03/13 00:53 GMT by T : An employee with Office Depot, somewhere in the southeastern US, wrote to respond to this story as a employee of the company, but in his off time and not in any official capacity:
"I will only say that what is described in your article and the Laptop
Mag article is not something that occurs across the entire company as
sanctioned or ordered by the Corporate Higher Ups and is certainly
nothing I have experienced as a 10-year employee of the company, we
want sales. Yes, we want add-ons, but we will take the sales regardless."
Remember, you're helping them by saving them the loss N years from now when it breaks and they didn't buy an N + 1 year warranty.
My work here is dung.
Why would you buy a computer at office depot?
Because you need something with enough mass to make it through the store window when you plan on returning it?
Because you don't feel satisfied with a computer purchase unless you know you've been ripped off?
Because Office Depot is the only place that will extend you credit because you put a months worth of hookers and blow on your creditcard?
greed@All_Evils:~#
that read "How Office Depot Pushes..." as "Home Depot Pushes..." and wondered why you'd want a service plan for a screwdriver and a sheet of plywood?
Wait till they get a patent on this method!
"Sir, I saw you put those CDs in your pants. Are you stealing them?"
"Yes, well I wasn't going to download these, but then I saw your sign..."
There's no -1 for "I don't get it."
-wasn't
+was
Guess I should have bought an extended warranty on my original post.
There's no -1 for "I don't get it."
Since the days of the Romans, the adage has been "Caveat emptor." (Let the buyer beware.)
Now Modern Marketing has their own adage: "Carpe emptor!" (Seize the buyer.)
Let the Battle of the Adages Begin!
"Nice little laptop you got here... shame if anything happened to it!"
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
Damn it! Aunt Mabel bought me this iTunes card, but since downloading is a crime...
Will they replace a candy bar under the plan?
I can see it now.
Just buy a candy bar and they ask do you want a protection plan you say yes eat it right there and ask them How do I make a clam?
As for batteries will they give new ones for free when they go dead or does the plan cost more then the batteries?
That's a good word.
Actually, it's not. Appalling is a word, but not appaling.
Sir, you didn't purchase any music CDs today, so I must believe you have stolen CDs. Please strip naked and prepare for a cavity search. On another note, remember to have your handy RIAA Support badge worn for a low low purchase price of $100 to avoid being hassled on the way out of our store.
Or you could try my favorite.
Oh its out of stock? Damn thought you guys had a good service plan too. Guess I will go to insert other store here.
Magically in stock again? At register with item in hand. Service plan? What service plan? I didnt say I wanted one please take it off.
Bait and switch works BOTH ways.
I found one vintage keyboard model that I like, and I've stuck with it, accumulating them when they come up on eBay and various other places. The one I'm typing on now has dual English-Japanese key caps on it which, IMHO, is cool and different. I have to use an AT to PS2 converter, which I plug into a PS2 to USB converter. If anything supersedes USB (doesn't seem likely) it might get really ugly though.
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
If USB goes away... start collecting USB-equipped dumb terminals, as ethernet isn't going anywhere any time soon. Use them to VNC into your main computer, and just use it for the keyboard.
Thank god, someone with some information I can use. Where is it, again, that I can put blow on my credit card?
I always ask them "Why? Do these break a lot?" If they answer yes, then I tell them I don't want it anymore. It's fun to listen to them try to convince you to get the plan, but at the same time reassure you that it's a good product in the first place.
Anywhere you want, but I suggest a discreet location such as your lounge room or kitchen.
Oh... OH. You meant BUY it. Nevermind.
Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
While this is an annoying policy on paper, there are several ways I could see this actually playing out, and none of them really seem to work.
Scenario 1
Customer: "Hi, I want to buy this laptop"
Clerk: "You wanna buy an extended warranty?"
Customer: "No thanks"
Clerk: "We don't have any in stock"
Customer: "Uh... then yes I do?"
Clerk: "We just got some in right now!"
Customer: "Then I'll take one without the warranty."
Clerk: "Aw, what a shame, we just sold out."
Scenario 2
Clerk: "Hey, you seem interested in that there laptop, you want to buy one?"
Customer: "Sure."
Clerk: "Extended warranty?"
Customer: "No thanks"
Clerk: "Sorry, I just checked, we're out of stock"
Customer: "But... you didn't go anywhere, you didn't even act like you were looking in the stock room"
Clerk: "Uh... Telepathy!"
Scenario 3:
Customer: "I want this laptop."
Clerk: "You want extend waranty."
Customer: "No"
Clerk: "No computer in stock"
Customer: "Yes you do, this box right here, in my hand, I want to buy it."
Clerk: "Me ring up"
Customer: "Okay here"
(Customer hands computer to Clerk, Clerk smashes the computer with a primitive club)
Clerk: "No computer in stock."
Then again, I haven't worked in retail for a long time, maybe my "Lying to strangers" skills are rusty.
5) The manager quits because you just cut his pay by $10k a year and the shop down the road is willing to pay him $65k because he spun them a story of how profits are up $6k over last year.
Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
IT vendors only exist so that people who are too evil to sell used cars have somewhere to work.
250MB hard disk
In this case, I think I'm going to have to agree with the OP.
Great! Point me to a local, non-national chain store to buy a netbook or MID (or laptop, for that matter) and I'm totally there.
Do you happen to live in Richfield, Minnesota? Because if that non-national part isn't a sticker, there's this company there called Best Buy you should look into.
If not, I'm 100% out of ideas.
I suppose that's one way to think about it. Another is that since those drugs are illegal, they tend to be supplied by large drug-smuggling operations.
I run a mom-and-pop drug smuggling operation, you insensitive clod!