Cold War Standoff Over ISS Toilet

Hugh Pickens writes "The International Space Station, once a place where astronauts would share food and facilities, is said to be embroiled in a Cold War-like stand-off after a Russian cosmonaut complained he is no longer allowed to use a US toilet or the US gym machine. Gennady Padalka, a veteran Russian cosmonaut, says that space officials from Russia, the United States and other countries now require cosmonauts and astronauts to eat their own food and follow stringent rules on access to other facilities, including lavatories. Padalka, who will be the station's next commander, says the arguments date back to 2003, when Russia started charging other space agencies for the resources used by their astronauts and other partners in space station responded in kind. 'Cosmonauts are above the ongoing squabble, no matter what officials decide,' says Padalka. 'We are grown-up, well-educated and good-mannered people and can use our own brains to create normal relationship. It's politicians and bureaucrats who can't reach agreement, not us, cosmonauts and astronauts.' While sharing food in the past helped the crew feel like a team, the new rules oblige Russian cosmonauts and US astronauts to eat their own food. 'They also recommend us to only use national toilets,' says Padalka. 'What is going on has an adverse effect on our work.'"

Comments

It's because

[tomhath]

They leave the seat up...

Re:It's because

[morgan_greywolf]

Additionally, there seem to be squabbling about the 'under/over' controversy with the toilet paper roll.

Re:It's because

[truthsearch]

I'm not sure which is funnier: posting your vote, or getting moderated informative.

it is amazing that humans ever developed the wheel

[Anonymous Coward]

im sure some cave man council decided it would create too much cooperation between rival clans, and tried to stop the project.

Ah the bureaucrat's

[Beached]

This must have been a bureaucrat level 34 or better that started this. A 35 wouldn't know how to fill out the proper acquisition forms.

Re:My first thought was...

[Anonymous Coward]

What was he eating that he clogged up the US toilet?

Thats a legitimate complaint... do you know how much it costs to get a plumber to do a service call?

Ruskies Plan

[cgfsd]

"The average Rooskie, son, don't take a dump without a plan."

Re:(I)SS

[hansamurai]

Politicians: Hard at work to put the "SS" in ISS.

Just Godwin'd this somehow.

Re:This is just sheer stupidity.

[DigiShaman]

They're politicians. It's their *job* to be assholes and douchbags.

You were asking a serious question right?

Not stupid at all!

[fuzzyfuzzyfungus]

Remember, the ISS is now recycling urine for drinking water. Allowing cosmonauts to use our toilet would risk the contamination of our precious bodily fluids. Twice, no less.

Re:Not stupid at all!

[oneTheory]

We don't have to avoid the cosmonauts, but we should deny them our essence.

Re:Not stupid at all!

[ausekilis]

In Soviet Russia, toilet flush you. Perhaps there's just an incompatibility with Russian toilets and astronauts.

Re:Not stupid at all!

[DoofusOfDeath]

Remember, the ISS is now recycling urine for drinking water. Allowing cosmonauts to use our toilet would risk the contamination of our precious bodily fluids. Twice, no less.

No, the problem is that the American filtration system can't process that much metabolized vodka. After five days it would become the International Party Station.

Re:Not stupid at all!

[aliquis]

Wow, you americans are really afraid of communism? =P

I don't think it spread thru urine ..

Re:Not stupid at all!

[couchslug]

"Twice, no less."

"Two astronauts, one cup?"

Re:Not stupid at all!

[Sponge Bath]

I was thinking you could poop in a plastic bag and throw it outside. However, a frozen turd traveling at over 7km/s might pose a serious hazard.

Re:If he has to go...

[Sockatume]

I think if someone can figure out how to piss on the floor in a freefall environment with no architectural frame of reference for up and down, you've got no right to stop them.

Simple Solution

[ciderVisor]

Do things the RyanAir way.

Re:Don't use the Vulcan's toilet

[ArcherB]

"Or vice-versa the humans toilet. The Earth-Vulcan politicians are squabbling over the respective costs, and don't want non-citizens using their toilets." - United Federation of Planets, official notice

That's what Star Trek would be like if it were realistic - trade and cost disputes. Or just watch Babylon 5 ("By Any Means Necessary").

I thought they just beamed the crap directly from your colon into the anti-matter reaction chamber or Jefferies tubes or something.

Answer: by the asshole in charge

[PMuse]

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

• "We should be in charge," said the feet, "because we carry the body to get the things we need."
• "I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."
• "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because without me, you wouldn't know where the food is."
• "I should be in charge," said the brain , "because I do all the thinking, so without me nothing would happen".
• The asshole simply shut up and did nothing.

After a while, the feet, stomach, eyes, and brain agreed that the asshole was in charge.

Re:Answer: by the asshole in charge

[bugeaterr]

Though for some people, their dick is what's actually in charge.

And those people are collectively known as "men".

Re:Answer: by the asshole in charge

[pluther]

"We're not assholes, we're dicks. And you... you're all a bunch of pussies!"

Re:This is just sheer stupidity.

[dna_(c)(tm)(r)]

What fucking idiot politician thought this up?

They like pISSing contests. They reached boldly where nobody pissed before.

Re:This is just sheer stupidity.

[Talderas]

So you're a Republican?

Re:This is just sheer stupidity.

[Talderas]

Wooosh.

How long before...

[fataugie]

One of the agencies sends up a bucket of yellow paint and a paint brush?
(for the bright yellow dividing line down the middle of the station)

Future Presidential Speech text:

"Mr. {insert leader here}, Tear down...er....Wipe Up that line!"

it's not a "stand off"

[inerlogic]

it's more of a "squat off"

Re:This is just sheer stupidity.

[Chris Burke]

/voice=Patrick Stewart

"Hello, this is Captain Picard. On the bridge of the Enterprise, I have no problems with Number One. Number two is a different matter. That's why I use Star Fleet Enemas. With a Star Fleet Enema, you can boldly go like no one has gone before!"

Re:This is just sheer stupidity.

[interkin3tic]

They're politicians. It's their *job* to be assholes and douchbags.

Oddly enough, politicians say the same thing about people posting about politicians on the internet.

Re:This is just sheer stupidity.

[ionix5891]

Bush is that you?

Re:This is just sheer stupidity.

[CraftyJack]

I'm sorry, Dave, but I can't let you use that stall.

Americans Get the Short End of the Stick, As Usual

[severoon]

This is particularly unfair when you consider that, even before this dust-up, Americans couldn't use the other nations' toilets anyway. You see, their normal-sized pee tubes would not accommodate our large American junk.

Had to be done, sorry. :-]

Re:This is just sheer stupidity.

[Tuoqui]

Wooosh.

I can has +5 Funny too?

Re:Fair enough, but...

[Experiment 626]

Well, he can't go in the American toilet, he can't go in the Russian one. Sounds like he has to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Re:This is just sheer stupidity.

[igny]

No, it is right on time for Russia.

Re:Do it anyway

[TWX]

This is not the first time the Russians, bankrupt, have pulled a stunt like this. Mir was full of junk because the Russians would lease space to whoever to run an experiment and would then refuse to bring the experiment's materials back to Earth. They kept them on board in order to continue charging the (exorbitant) rent for space aboard Mir. The cosmonauts complained about the piles of junk, though not publicly.

Aah, the Russians, Capitalists through and through...

Re:Do it anyway

[DetpackJump]

The Americans are just playing tit-for-tat

Or in this case: shit-for-shat

Re:This is just sheer stupidity.

[aztracker1]

My side... your side.. my side... your side!!! MY SIDE!! YOUR SIDE!!! .......

Bueaurcratic Paperwork In Space?

[Easy2RememberNick]

The article mentions all of this could be resolved if the Russians would just sign the formal agreement paperwork (form # URN8-NP) to have a legal document verifying they agree to the terms and for liability reasons.

Re:Don't use the Vulcan's toilet

[commodore64_love]

>>>I thought they just beamed the crap directly from your colon into the anti-matter reaction chamber or something.

Yeah that's what they TELL you, but in reality Mr. Scott is a wizard and he utters some magic words, waves his wand, and presto. He just covers-up that fact by mumbling random junk about engines and whatnot. Star Trek is actually a fantasy show, like Harry Potter.