Smartphones Receive Holy Blessing

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Smartphones Receive Holy Blessing

Posted by samzenpus on Tuesday January 12, 2010 @06:50AM from the blessed-are-the-phone-makers dept.

jeffmeden writes "Plow Monday is normally for blessing laborers and their tools; as the name suggests it is aimed at those who work the land. A church service in London, England Monday decided to go after a more modern audience: office workers and their modern communication gadgets. From the Times article: 'The congregation at St Lawrence Jewry in the City of London raised their mobiles and iPods above their heads and Canon Parrott raised his voice to the heavens to address the Lord God of all Creation. "May our tongues be gentle, our e-mails be simple and our websites be accessible," he said.'"

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Has anyone noticed... by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 06:51 · Score: 3, Insightful

Has anyone noticed that sampenzus is a worse editor than even Jon Katz could ever hope to be?
1. Re:Has anyone noticed... by megamerican · 2010-01-12 07:38 · Score: 1
  
  Has anyone noticed that sampenzus is a worse editor than even Jon Katz could ever hope to be?
  No, but Samzenpus articles are ones I tend to automatically skip.
  
  --
  If you have something that you dont want anyone to know, maybe you shouldnt be doing it in the first place -Eric Schmidt
2. Re:Has anyone noticed... by Locke2005 · 2010-01-12 08:41 · Score: 1
  
  Has anyone ever seen sampenzus and Katz in the same place at the same time? Could they actually be... one and the same?
  
  --
  I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
3. Re:Has anyone noticed... by Kral_Blbec · 2010-01-12 08:55 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  and yet you are posting in one...
hardcampa by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 06:53 · Score: 0

RESPEKT!
Absurd? by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 06:56 · Score: 2, Insightful

Is this any more absurd than waving other tools in the air and praying for assistance from the divine?
1. Re:Absurd? by fastest+fascist · 2010-01-12 07:10 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  No, it does, however, raise the possibility of holy tech support. Prayer circles praying for your tech problems to be solved, for a small fee, of course.
  
  I have a terrible feeling that already exists somewhere.
2. Re:Absurd? by Anonymous+Monkey · 2010-01-12 07:20 · Score: 1
  
  For a long time my standard line when any one complained abut their computer was to ask them if they sacrificed a chicken on the copier to the Computer Gods. Depending on my mood I would tell them to try KFC or McNugits.
  
  --
  We are the Borg...
3. Re:Absurd? by jhoegl · 2010-01-12 07:30 · Score: 1
  
  What are you talking about? Every time I call tech support I hope that the problem resolves itself while I wait.
  Otherwise I would have to fucking decipher their broken English.
4. Re:Absurd? by Theodore · 2010-01-12 07:34 · Score: 1
  
  SNORK!!!
  I had a similar joke this last office Christmas party...
  "Way back when the senior VP of accounting was on this floor, every three months we'd have to sacrifice two chickens an a goat...
  But with all the new technology we've installed, it's now down to once a year with a gyros sandwich and a 10 piece mcnugget."
5. Re:Absurd? by mwvdlee · 2010-01-12 07:36 · Score: 1
  
  I regularly wave my tool in the air and pray for divine assistance. Alas, I'm still wielding it on my own.
  
  --
  Slashdot social media options: AIM, ICQ, Yahoo, Jabber and Mobile Text. Why no MySpace?
6. Re:Absurd? by derGoldstein · 2010-01-12 07:41 · Score: 1
  
  Depends. Apple users will first pray to Jobs, and only then resort to an alternative deity. The reason for this is of course that Jobs introduced the iPhone by raising it above his head. So at the very least, the reason for waving the object in the air may vary.
  
  --
  Entomologically speaking, the spider is not a bug, it's a feature.
7. Re:Absurd? by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 07:54 · Score: 1, Insightful
  
  The church in in the financial district of London. The people with the phones are the moneychangers of the day. Irony abounds. Most of their colleagues probably are believers of the religion known as the Free Market and bathe at the Temple of the Greenback.
8. Re:Absurd? by Culture20 · 2010-01-12 08:07 · Score: 1
  
  No, it does, however, raise the possibility of holy tech support. Prayer circles praying for your tech problems to be solved, for a small fee, of course. I have a terrible feeling that already exists somewhere.
  I'm certain the Christian Scientists are already advocating a belief that calling hardware tech support at your job is not necessary.
  Scientologists probably advocate a similar stance but only for software glitches, the worst of which must be purged of thetans by use of a 45 caliber handgun. And Spammers are fair game.
9. Re:Absurd? by McNihil · 2010-01-12 08:09 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  It's not assistance they ask for, it is that the tool doesn't break/crash or become otherwise inoperable and IMHO that approach is less absurd and hints at the users humility.
  How much did a plow cost back in the day? If it broke? Without it you and the rest of the family would have a hard time to live.
  Now the absurd is that iPod's and the like should not be included. A persons main computer or server farm that pays the families bill... hell yes.
  But then again most modern people may be Atheists and could care less.
10. Re:Absurd? by tsm_sf · 2010-01-12 08:41 · Score: 1
  
  No, it does, however, raise the possibility of holy tech support. Prayer circles praying for your tech problems to be solved, for a small fee, of course.
  
  And this is different than most tech support plans how, exactly?
  
  --
  Literalism isn't a form of humor, it's you being irritating.
11. Re:Absurd? by PopeRatzo · 2010-01-12 08:51 · Score: 1
  
  Every time I call tech support I hope that the problem resolves itself while I wait.
  That's fine, as long as you don't start giving 10% of your income to the Lord God of Magical Tech Support.
  Also, as long as you don't start saying that those of us who do NOT pray to the God of Magical Tech Support are doomed to suffer all eternity with broken equipment and should be banned, shunned or killed.
  
  --
  You are welcome on my lawn.
12. Re:Absurd? by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 09:03 · Score: 0
  
  But then again most modern people may be Atheists and could care less.
  couldn't care less.*
13. Re:Absurd? by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 09:40 · Score: 0
  
  So sayeth "PopeRatzo". I love it.
14. Re:Absurd? by eliphalet · 2010-01-12 09:51 · Score: 1
  
  Just a slight risk of being struck by lightning.
15. Re:Absurd? by mosb1000 · 2010-01-12 10:50 · Score: 4, Insightful
  
  "Apple users will first pray to Jobs, and only then resort to an alternative deity."
  
  Are you crazy?! A true believer would never pray to another deity. If Steve doesn't fix your problem, it's because it doesn't need to be fixed.
16. Re:Absurd? by mdwh2 · 2010-01-12 11:38 · Score: 1
  
  I'd love to reject bug report or complaint if they returned it for repairs - "User Error - didn't pray hard enough"...
17. Re:Absurd? by shutdown+-p+now · 2010-01-12 11:54 · Score: 1
  
  No, it does, however, raise the possibility of holy tech support. Prayer circles praying for your tech problems to be solved, for a small fee, of course.
  I have a terrible feeling that already exists somewhere.
  It does, in a way. In Russia, there are some organizations advertising "prayer by SMS" - you send them an SMS (charged extra, naturally) identifying what you'd like to pray them for, and they (supposedly) will do so. I don't think they would particularly mind "praying" for a solution to your tech problem.
18. Re:Absurd? by DigiShaman · 2010-01-12 12:00 · Score: 1
  
  Prayer circles praying for your tech problems to be solved, for a small fee, of course.
  Given the sorry states of some servers I've had to deal with, that might be the *only* thing that will work. That, or a little Jewish lightning...
  -ducks-
  
  --
  Life is not for the lazy.
19. Re:Absurd? by Korin43 · 2010-01-12 12:41 · Score: 1
  
  What? No one can fix problems with the iPhone because it doesn't have any. The iPhone was created perfect, if you think there's a problem, the problem is with you!
20. Re:Absurd? by akpoff · 2010-01-12 12:51 · Score: 1
  
  It really started with Saint Attila:
  
  And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy."
  Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, verses 9-21
21. Re:Absurd? by quadelirus · 2010-01-12 13:55 · Score: 1
  
  Actually blessing of inanimate objects are prayers asking God that the objects will aid us in His service, not that they won't break.
22. Re:Absurd? by mjwx · 2010-01-12 20:14 · Score: 1
  
  Is this any more absurd than waving other tools in the air and praying for assistance from the divine?
  After tech support couldn't figure out their problem this was their next best idea.
  
  Personally I prefer GOOG to God, as GOOG usually answers me when I ask it a question.
  
  --
  Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.
23. Re:Absurd? by McNihil · 2010-01-13 04:15 · Score: 1
  
  "...objects will aid us in *HIS* service..." emphasis mine... this is why there are different religions, it is all a matter of interpretation. :-D
24. Re:Absurd? by McNihil · 2010-01-13 04:18 · Score: 1
  
  "couldn't care less.*" actually it should say "and should care less" to be more clear of what I wanted to say.
TFA by amicusNYCL · 2010-01-12 06:56 · Score: 1

"May our tongues be gentle, our e-mails be simple and our websites be accessible"
Maybe they could start with TFA..

--
"Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
1. Re:TFA by electricbern · 2010-01-12 07:07 · Score: 1
  
  God tried to post on the articles website and communicate His wisdom on the people. But the site was slashdotted. Maybe next time, God.
  
  --
  alias possession='chmod 666 satan && ls /dev > il && tail daemon.log'
2. Re:TFA by maxwell+demon · 2010-01-12 09:10 · Score: 1
  
  Indeed, with millions of prayers heaven's hotline is just overloaded. When God asked man to multiply, he should have thought about appropriate communication infrastructure ...
  
  --
  The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
3. Re:TFA by mjwx · 2010-01-12 20:16 · Score: 1
  
  "May our tongues be gentle, our e-mails be simple and our websites be accessible"
  By the father, the son and the holy notebook,
  Amen
  
  --
  Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.
How is this by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 06:56 · Score: 4, Interesting

How is this not Idle material? Or better yet trash can material. Who cares what some inane irrelevant church is doing in whatever part of the world.
1. Re:How is this by aristotle-dude · 2010-01-12 06:59 · Score: 1, Flamebait
  
  How is this not Idle material? Or better yet trash can material. Who cares what some inane irrelevant church is doing in whatever part of the world.
  If you don't care, why did you post? Take your hateful bullshit elsewhere.
  
  --
  Jesus was a compassionate social conservative who called individuals to sin no more.
2. Re:How is this by Lunix+Nutcase · 2010-01-12 07:00 · Score: 1
  
  It's idle material for sure. The problem is that sampenzus has a bad habit of posting his crap outside of idle because he knows that 99.9% of slashdotters blocks that section.
3. Re:How is this by Lunix+Nutcase · 2010-01-12 07:03 · Score: 4, Informative
  
  We care because sampenzus is posting idle shit outside of idle and cluttering up the other sections.
4. Re:How is this by Chad+Birch · 2010-01-12 07:12 · Score: 1, Insightful
  
  It's no mistake either, he does it very regularly, one to two posts per day. They're boiling the frog, they'd love to turn this site into Digg.
  
  --
  Sturgeon was an optimist.
5. Re:How is this by Lunix+Nutcase · 2010-01-12 07:14 · Score: 1
  
  Well of course it's not mistake. He knows that pretty much everyone blocks the idle section.
6. Re:How is this by derGoldstein · 2010-01-12 07:45 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  If you don't care, why did you post? Take your hateful bullshit elsewhere.
  This is Slashdot. This *is* where people take their hateful bullshit.
  
  --
  Entomologically speaking, the spider is not a bug, it's a feature.
7. Re:How is this by BrokenHalo · 2010-01-12 07:47 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  Easy. Just go to "Help and Accounts" -> "Classic Index" -> "Authors" and untick samzenpus... which is what I have now done. See you folks later.
8. Re:How is this by Lunix+Nutcase · 2010-01-12 08:14 · Score: 1
  
  The problem with doing that is that sampenzus seems to be the one that handles posting book reviews which I tend to like to read.
9. Re:How is this by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 08:17 · Score: 0
  
  The AC GP cares about /., not some obscure church. But you already know that. So, as someone wise once said, "Take your hateful bullshit elsewhere.".
10. Re:How is this by tsm_sf · 2010-01-12 08:49 · Score: 1
  
  It's not idle material if you're interested in anthropology. Maybe you could just scroll past articles you don't want to read?
  
  --
  Literalism isn't a form of humor, it's you being irritating.
11. Re:How is this by PopeRatzo · 2010-01-12 09:05 · Score: 1
  
  ...some inane irrelevant church...
  That's redundant.
  
  --
  You are welcome on my lawn.
12. Re:How is this by PopeRatzo · 2010-01-12 09:06 · Score: 1
  
  He knows that pretty much everyone blocks the idle section.
  What is this "idle section" of which you speak?
  
  --
  You are welcome on my lawn.
13. Re:How is this by TheRaven64 · 2010-01-12 12:26 · Score: 1
  
  If you're interested in anthropology you'd know that this kind of thing is already quite common in Japan. I stayed close to a car shrine, where you could drive in and have your car blessed. You may think America has a drive-through culture, but I don't think you have drive-through religion over there yet...
  
  --
  I am TheRaven on Soylent News
14. Re:How is this by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 14:01 · Score: 0
  
  Whatever you think of Christianity, its a bit daft to call it irrelevant since one third of the world's population is Christian and therefore a huge influence on world events. Even if you don't like it Christianity has a lot of influence on many aspects of your life that you do not have control over.
15. Re:How is this by TheVelvetFlamebait · 2010-01-12 19:45 · Score: 1
  
  Thou shalt not worship false idles.
  
  --
  You know, there is a difference between trolling and pointing out the flaws in your reasoning. Just saying.
16. Re:How is this by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-13 04:38 · Score: 0
  
  This doesn't mean everything that has anything to do with christianity or islam (almost as large as the former) is automatically relevant.
Act of God by Drethon · 2010-01-12 06:57 · Score: 1

""May our tongues be gentle, our e-mails be simple and our websites be accessible," he said." Not sure all that will happen without an Act of God...
1. Re:Act of God by sznupi · 2010-01-12 07:02 · Score: 0, Troll
  
  Same God accepting ethnics cleansing, masochism as a way of salvation and supposedly communicating in extremely obscure ways? Yeah, I can see that...
  
  --
  One that hath name thou can not otter
2. Re:Act of God by Drethon · 2010-01-12 07:03 · Score: 1
  
  Sorry, forgot the line breaks. Work needs to stop mandating IE6 so I can see my previews ;p
  
  Edited Post:
  ""May our tongues be gentle, our e-mails be simple and our websites be accessible," he said."
  Not sure all that will happen without an Act of God...
Slashdotting by 0racle · 2010-01-12 06:59 · Score: 1, Offtopic

Does that make Slashdotting a site a Satanic ritual now?

--
"I use a Mac because I'm just better than you are."
1. Re:Slashdotting by Sponge+Bath · 2010-01-12 07:03 · Score: 1
  
  Simply posting to /. is enough for eternal damnation unless you have a paid subscription, of course.
2. Re:Slashdotting by plopez · 2010-01-12 11:33 · Score: 1
  
  unless you have a paid subscription, of course.
  The first 144,000 were the chosen ones....
  
  --
  putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
3. Re:Slashdotting by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 14:28 · Score: 0
  
  Well then I guess I have to become immortal. Or does that not apply to ACs?
The funny bit... by Sponge+Bath · 2010-01-12 07:00 · Score: 2, Interesting

...raised their mobiles and iPods above their heads
Taking your iPod to church? Why? So you can play games and listen to music instead of the sermon?
Religion sure is a weird business.
1. Re:The funny bit... by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 07:04 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  ...raised their mobiles and iPods above their heads
  Taking your iPod to church? Why?
  Religion sure is a weird business.
  To check if your neighbour had a model worth coveting?
2. Re:The funny bit... by Drethon · 2010-01-12 07:12 · Score: 1
  
  Its worth points so long as you show up or something. I can understand faith but religion is strange sometimes.
3. Re:The funny bit... by musichead · 2010-01-12 07:15 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  It's not terribly odd - the church has been in the practice of blessing man's vices for some time. The church has a hostory of blessing pipes, why not tech gadgets? http://theophiliacs.com/2009/01/24/theology-and-pipe-smoking-part-ii/
4. Re:The funny bit... by Hurricane78 · 2010-01-12 07:15 · Score: 1
  
  Well, you can clearly see that he is a total Apple fanboi. Else he would have said “MP3 players“, and not iPods.
  
  --
  Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
5. Re:The funny bit... by Malc · 2010-01-12 07:17 · Score: 1
  
  Why would you make an assumption and assertion like that? Most people use their iPods to create their own little bubble on the Tube (e.g. going to the Church) and elsewhere in this crowded city and island.
6. Re:The funny bit... by FlyingBishop · 2010-01-12 07:18 · Score: 1
  
  It's like being a Fireman. You just kind of show up in case something happens that needs your attention.
  You look at Thomas, he gets this bad rap, essentially because he didn't show up to church on Sunday and missed the second coming (first? I don't know how the crazies are marking these things.)
  Obviously, you aren't likely to miss the second(third) coming by not showing up at church, but you are going to miss more everyday revelations.
7. Re:The funny bit... by Dogbertius · 2010-01-12 07:18 · Score: 1
  
  "Because then I couldn't listen to the commentary..." -Dilbert episode on Dogbert Day
8. Re:The funny bit... by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 07:24 · Score: 1, Informative
  
  Believe it or not, we church goers don't teleport from home to church & back again. We might walk there, or possibly drive, and then maybe be crazy and go somewhere else after wards. What are we supposed to do, leave the things at the door?
  They do have off buttons you know :o)
9. Re:The funny bit... by eln · 2010-01-12 07:28 · Score: 1
  
  As long as you're paying enough attention to drop the money into the collection plate when it comes along, you can do whatever you want. Folding money only, cheapskate.
10. Re:The funny bit... by sznupi · 2010-01-12 07:35 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Just the iPods need exorcisms.
  
  --
  One that hath name thou can not otter
11. Re:The funny bit... by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 07:45 · Score: 0
  
  Personally I have my scriptures, hymn book, and lesson manuals on my iPhone. It's a lot more convenient than carrying around the physical books.
12. Re:The funny bit... by dkleinsc · 2010-01-12 07:45 · Score: 1
  
  So you can say a short prayer, something like this:
  "Hail Steve, full of grace, the turtleneck is with thee. Blessed art thou among fanboys, and blessed is the fruit of thy twisted mind, for thou hast borne the savior of our social lives."
  
  --
  I am officially gone from /. Long live http://www.soylentnews.com/
13. Re:The funny bit... by PGOER · 2010-01-12 07:48 · Score: 0
  
  There's got to be a Monty Python joke in here somewhere. Personally I think Holy hand grenades are much more entertaining.
  
  --
  I am not a nerd, I just play one in real life. My avatar thinks I'm a total loser.
14. Re:The funny bit... by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 08:03 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  There's an app for that.
15. Re:The funny bit... by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 08:04 · Score: 0
  
  I don't know, maybe they brought it because:
  - They're on call and that's how they receive notifications?
  - They have a Bible/Concordance app?
  - They are recording the sermon?
  - They knew that it would drive some poor sap on Slashdot into self-righteous indignation and find irony delicious?
  It's hard to say.
16. Re:The funny bit... by blurryrunner · 2010-01-12 10:03 · Score: 1
  
  There are actually some good scripture apps out there so you don't have carry the analog versions around... br/
17. Re:The funny bit... by mdwh2 · 2010-01-12 11:49 · Score: 1
  
  Be glad he didn't say Iphones too (I have seen people use phrases like "Iphone-like device" to refer to a phone).
  Still, I'll be amused when Apple lose their trademarks due to them becoming generic terms.
18. Re:The funny bit... by TheRaven64 · 2010-01-12 12:29 · Score: 1
  
  No, the rest of us are using iPod as a generic term so that Apple will lose its trademark protection and we can watch the Apple fanboys squirm at Sony iPods.
  
  --
  I am TheRaven on Soylent News
Parrot Parrott by Max(10) · 2010-01-12 07:02 · Score: 1

Canon Parrott raised his voice to the heavens to address the Lord God of all Creation. "May our tongues be gentle, our e-mails be simple and our websites be accessible," he said.
I hope I don't go to hell for this, but Canon Parrott sounds a bit like a parrot.
May redundancy be gone.
Read as: by d34dluk3 · 2010-01-12 07:10 · Score: 2, Interesting

Someone is trying to hard to be 'relevant'.
1. Re:Read as: by CharlyFoxtrot · 2010-01-12 07:51 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  It's just a new take on an old custom. Here in Belgium there's a lot of (older) people who get their car blessed once a year during the pilgrimage to Scherpenheuvel. It's silly but hey to each his own.
  
  --
  If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
2. Re:Read as: by TheVelvetFlamebait · 2010-01-12 19:47 · Score: 1
  
  Yeah. Don't we all?
  
  --
  You know, there is a difference between trolling and pointing out the flaws in your reasoning. Just saying.
Not to be left out... by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 07:14 · Score: 2, Funny

Something similar was tried recently at a Synagogue - the laptops got paraded around on chairs, the iPods were wrapped in a handkerchief and stepped on and the cell phones got the end of their antennas cut off.
Technical support by ilsaloving · 2010-01-12 07:20 · Score: 3, Funny

After examining many badly managed and virus ridden machines, I've often declared that nothing short of a reformat and an exorcism is going to get it working again.
It's nice to know that *someone* is finally following through with my recommendations.
random thoughts... by Theodore · 2010-01-12 07:23 · Score: 2, Funny

So, would the sound of a 300 baud modem connecting be equivalent to Gregorian chant now?
Is renewing DHCP equivalent to confession and absolution?
Is SMTP prayer? What does God do when you spam him?
Does your firewall have an angel with a flaming sword? Ours does.
And should they really be using wireless if Lucifer is the Lord of the Air?
1. Re:random thoughts... by BlackSabbath · 2010-01-12 07:57 · Score: 1
  
  > And should they really be using wireless if Lucifer is the Lord of the Air?
  Isn't Lucifer also known as the "bringer of light" which would imply lord of fibre-optic communications?
  On reflection, perhaps he is the lord of all high-speed communications technologies.
2. Re:random thoughts... by vlm · 2010-01-12 08:25 · Score: 1
  
  Isn't Lucifer also known as the "bringer of light" which would imply lord of
  
  screensavers? e-ink displays?
  
  --
  "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
3. Re:random thoughts... by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 09:48 · Score: 0
  
  It says he "appears as an angel of light". That means he tries to look like one of the good guys.
4. Re:random thoughts... by Cruciform · 2010-01-12 10:32 · Score: 1
  
  READY
  ATDT 1888RINGGOD ...
  CONNECTED
  LOGIN: Are you there God, it's me M--$Y%#NO CARRIER
  READY
  AT
  ATDT 1888RINGGOD ...
  CONNECTED
  Welcome to the 4Chan BBS.
  What? You thought you were going to talk to Sky God Crankypants? LOLZ.
  Commandments:
  1. Do as thou wilt.
  2. For the lulz.
5. Re:random thoughts... by Cruciform · 2010-01-12 10:34 · Score: 1
  
  Lucifer is also known as the "Father of Lies".
  Oddly enough, Genesis 2:17 has "God" telling the first lie.
  Imagine a whole religion dedicated to worshiping the wrong deity because someone buggered the paperwork.
6. Re:random thoughts... by TheRaven64 · 2010-01-12 12:34 · Score: 1
  
  Lucifer is the Latin for 'light-bearer'. In the bible it's a name applied to a king, and only in certain translations. The appellation Lucifer for the devil only appears in the apocrypha (which is all of the stuff that the Council of Nicea thought had too much Hollywood potential to be part of a serious religion).
  
  --
  I am TheRaven on Soylent News
Which one??? by Ipeunipig · 2010-01-12 07:34 · Score: 1

Which one of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse is this going to call into action?
1. Re:Which one??? by BlackSabbath · 2010-01-12 07:59 · Score: 1
  
  The other one.
  (oblig. Young Ones reference for the kiddies)
2. Re:Which one??? by maxwell+demon · 2010-01-12 09:22 · Score: 1
  
  All four, of course:
  Conquest: viruses and worms
  War: rootkits and trojans
  Famine: DoS attacks
  Death: Blue Screen (or Kernel Panic for Linux users)
  
  --
  The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
Ooookaaaayyy... by frank_adrian314159 · 2010-01-12 07:42 · Score: 3, Funny

May our tongues be gentle, our e-mails be simple and our websites be accessible...
And the congregation responds: And may porn flow freely without fear of spam and malware.

--
That is all.
Turn in your nerd card. by Singularity42 · 2010-01-12 07:47 · Score: 3, Insightful

Faith is incompatible with being a nerd.
1. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by Drethon · 2010-01-12 07:55 · Score: 1
  
  Faith is key to being a nerd. I have faith I'm going to pass my next exams. I don't know but I have faith in myself.
  
  Lots of inventors have faith that they can do something that no one has seen before (ex the Wright brothers).
2. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by GNUALMAFUERTE · 2010-01-12 08:12 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  Faith != Confidence.
  
  --
  WTF am I doing replying to an AC at 5 A.M on a Friday night?
3. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by Chicken_Kickers · 2010-01-12 08:26 · Score: 1, Offtopic
  
  What the hell are you talking about? People with religious beliefs are one of the original nerds. For example, there are many Muslims who have memorised the entire Quran, word for word and could recite to you any verse on command, the same way some nerds can memorise the entire script of Star Wars Episode IV. Medieval Christian monks can spend years on end, nerdily copying and decorating manuscripts by hand. The word "canon" came from the Catholic faith and has been adopted by geeky Wookiepedia, Memory Alpha writers and basically any long-running TV show fans. Most of those said TV shows, especially sci-fi ones, have elements of Judeo-Christian, Greco-Roman, Egyptian, Hindu etc. myths. Don't conflate nerdism and technophilia exclusively with atheism.
4. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by Drethon · 2010-01-12 08:29 · Score: 1
  
  From wikipedia:
  
  Faith is the confident belief or trust in the truth or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing. The word "faith" can refer to a religion itself or to religion in general. As with "trust", faith involves a concept of future events or outcomes, and is used conversely for a belief "not resting on logical proof or material evidence." Informal usage of the word "faith" can be quite broad, and may be used in place of "trust" or "belief."
  
  To me confidence is knowing you can do something where as faith is believing you can do something. Rather fine line I admit but...
5. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by Cruciform · 2010-01-12 10:22 · Score: 1
  
  You might have faith you're going to pass your next exam.
  Other people study, and have confidence based on their evaluation of the knowledge they have gained vs. the knowledge they need to have acquired.
  The Wright brothers applied observation and experimentation to flight.
  No faith required.
  The Flying Spaghetti Monster rejects your faith, and substitutes reason. :P
6. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by mdwh2 · 2010-01-12 11:43 · Score: 2, Insightful
  
  The problem is we're just conflating two different definitions of the same word. There's that definition ("Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing."), but the one that we should criticise is the one that is often supported by many religious people: "Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence." (or also "The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will.")
  Faith should depend on evidence and reason - it should not simply be something to have for the sake of it.
7. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by mdwh2 · 2010-01-12 11:45 · Score: 1
  
  Perhaps - I guess there's the difference between nerd and geek - but even the most nerdyish nerds don't seriously believe that the stories they memories are true. I think.
8. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by TheRaven64 · 2010-01-12 12:28 · Score: 1
  
  I tried arguing rationally that the FSM didn't exist, but it didn't believe me.
  
  --
  I am TheRaven on Soylent News
9. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by Gonoff · 2010-01-12 12:29 · Score: 1
  
  True but also
  Faith != confidence^-1
  
  --
  I'll see your Constitution and raise you a Queen.
10. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-13 02:35 · Score: 0
  
  Faith is incompatible with being a nerd.
  Nope. Here's a tip for you: there's all kinds of people being nerds. Some are Christian, some are Muslims, some are Jews, some are Hindu, some are Buddhist, some are Satanist, some are Paganist, some are Taoist, some are Hedonist, Some are Deist, some are Theist, some are Gnostic, some are Agnostic, some are Atheist and so on... ...and like you've already shown; some are Idiots :D
  So you see not everyone is like yourself.
11. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-13 03:40 · Score: 0
  
  Who the hell is modding these comments?
  Insightful or Informative? No. Flamebait and Trolling? Yes.
  Offtopic? No.
  Have the people modding ever read any papal encyclicals? Very heavy stuff. None of that "Jesus loves me, yes I know" crap that you probably think religion is all about. There's a reason why a lot of people run away from faith when they're teens -- it's because they're still hanging on to the biblical fairytales that they were taught as children and haven't taken the next step towards learning actual theology. Real theology is brainy stuff -- the kind of stuff nerds just love to absorb. What do you think seminarians are studying when they get their masters degrees -- creationism?
  Confidence is being someone who's not afraid to stand out. If being a religious nerd by putting up with people's ignorant opinions isn't standing out, I don't know what is.
12. Re:Turn in your nerd card. by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-13 03:43 · Score: 0
  
  Nope. Faith is the ability to believe something you know is not true...
Are they serious? by piojo · 2010-01-12 07:55 · Score: 1, Interesting

This church is called "St Lawrence Jewry"? What a confusing and possibly offensive (to Jews) name for a church. Unless there's something I'm missing about British English.

--
A cat can't teach a dog to bark.
1. Re:Are they serious? by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 08:01 · Score: 1, Informative
  
  Let me google that for you:
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_Lawrence_Jewry
2. Re:Are they serious? by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 08:07 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  They didn't just call it that, you know. Buildings in Europe can be centuries old, back when attitudes or conventions were different. Enlighten thyself.
3. Re:Are they serious? by Jonathunder · 2010-01-12 08:17 · Score: 2, Informative
  
  The name is a reference to its location.
  From its website:
  "St. Lawrence was first built in 1136 in the east end of London in the old Jewish quarter..."
4. Re:Are they serious? by ceoyoyo · 2010-01-12 08:49 · Score: 1
  
  Why would the word jewry be offensive?
  As for confusing, well, the relationships between religions are confusing. The various Christian sects and their relationship to Judaism particularly so.
5. Re:Are they serious? by AthanasiusKircher · 2010-01-12 08:58 · Score: 3, Insightful
  
  This church is called "St Lawrence Jewry"? What a confusing and possibly offensive (to Jews) name for a church. Unless there's something I'm missing about British English.
  It's not something you're missing about "British English." It's something you're missing about history.
  
  With just one search, you could have clarified the historical reasons for this. The name dates back to a time when Jews were welcomed into England (even as they were being persecuted elsewhere) after William the Conqueror arrived. The old Jewish quarter in London includes prominent streets like Old Jewry and nearby old landmarks like St Lawrence Jewry.
  
  "Confusing"? Potentially. But it's a reference to an address whose name is almost a millennium old. "Offensive"? Only if you don't know anything about history. It sort of reminds me of the idiots who want to remove the term "Providence Plantations" from the name of the state Rhode Island (whose official name is "The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations"), because they somehow think that "plantation" only refers to places where there were slaves. That's not what it meant in the 17th century, when the colony was founded.
  
  Historical ignorance offends me. In the name of reason, try to educate yourself before assuming that a term or name from centuries ago must be intended to offend people.
6. Re:Are they serious? by AthanasiusKircher · 2010-01-12 09:02 · Score: 1
  
  Sorry -- the last link to Rhode Island was screwed up -- for anyone curious, it's here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhode_Island
7. Re:Are they serious? by piojo · 2010-01-12 09:58 · Score: 1
  
  Why would the word jewry be offensive?
  The word isn't offensive--it would only be offensive if the church was claiming to be Jewish. (I had before never heard "Jewry" used as a location--only things like the "Jewish Quarter".)
  To understand why it's offensive when Christians say they're Jews, imagine you're a Catholic. Some guy (born Catholic) takes your Bible and starts a cult around it, decrying old tenets, adding new and incompatible beliefs, and worshipping another god (alongside your old God). The cult becomes very big, many times more numerous than Catholicism. Then some members of this cult start calling it Catholicism. You might feel like your own culture was a little threatened.
  
  --
  A cat can't teach a dog to bark.
8. Re:Are they serious? by Obyron · 2010-01-12 10:20 · Score: 1
  
  Not to mention that referring to the whole state as Rhode Island would make about as much sense as referring to the the whole of New York state as "Manhattan Island," or renaming Virginia to "Chincoteague Island." The state literally is Providence Plantation on land, as well as Rhode Island. For a similar concept see "Newfoundland and Labrador." These people don't just fail history, they fail geography.
  
  --
  --Obyron
9. Re:Are they serious? by malp · 2010-01-12 10:38 · Score: 1
  
  Seriously! Like when the band Anthrax renamed themselves after the poisoned letters scare. Pretty much everyone's forgotten about the scare, and no one knows the band's new name.
10. Re:Are they serious? by Rufty · 2010-01-12 12:32 · Score: 1
  
  And another old name that should not be forgot: here.
  
  --
  Red to red, black to black. Switch it on, but stand well back.
The missing verse of Genesis by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 08:04 · Score: 0

Yae, and on the 8th day did God twit pics of his Son's birthday party
Exorcism for Windows viruses by Jon_Hanson · 2010-01-12 08:16 · Score: 3, Funny

They need an exorcism ritual for Windows viruses as well.
1. Re:Exorcism for Windows viruses by Anci3nt+of+Days · 2010-01-12 13:10 · Score: 1
  
  Format c:/
  Solved.
ebay? by stokessd · 2010-01-12 08:20 · Score: 1

So how much more does a BLESSED jailbroken unlocked iPhone 3GS sell for on ebay?
Sheldon
1. Re:ebay? by ddxexex · 2010-01-12 09:25 · Score: 1
  
  Really all you have to do is wield a noncursed jailbroken unlocked iPhone 3GS and read 2 noncursed scrolls of enchant weapon (one while not confused and the other while confused), apply a can of grease and voila you have a +1 Blessed rustproof corrodeproof greased jailbroken unlocked iPhone 3GS. So not much of an increase in price unless you have lots of CHA when you sell it to the shopkeeper.
2. Re:ebay? by maxwell+demon · 2010-01-12 09:30 · Score: 1
  
  Depends. Is it a +3 blessed jailbroken unlocked iPhone 3GS, or just a +1 blessed jailbroken unlocked iPhone 3GS?
  
  --
  The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
Voices from the Hellmouth by copponex · 2010-01-12 08:22 · Score: 1

I don't think you remember how bad it was.
Until what's-his-nuts cashes is in like a prime time cable news anchor (or even worse, Nancy Grace) on the suffering of others by retreading the same old bullshit ideas, then he won't hold a candle to the inferno of dumb that was, and sadly is, Jon Katz.
Thankfully he had the sense to put himself out to pasture.
1. Re:Voices from the Hellmouth by Philip_the_physicist · 2010-01-12 13:01 · Score: 1
  
  Despite the crappy article, there was at least some actual (visible) effort put in by Katz to edit it. That has to count for something.
Proper English by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 08:45 · Score: 0

British English? I think you mean English, the proper and correct form of the language.
It's not like one of those bastard dialects like American English or Australian English.
1. Re:Proper English by Sulphur · 2010-01-12 15:03 · Score: 1
  
  British English? I think you mean English, the proper and correct form of the language.
  It's not like one of those bastard dialects like American English or Australian English.
  (Modified scene from Crocodile Dundee)
  You think that is a verb? This is a verb.
Might as well add to it. by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 08:45 · Score: 0

May our blue screens be few,
our mice glide smooth and true,
and our online play be free of lag. ...And may that fucking paper clip burn in hell for all eternity.
Re:Once again! by Anonymous Coward · 2010-01-12 08:47 · Score: 0

Another example of why organized religion is bullshit.
On another note: 10% of the world controls 90% of the rest. Have a good day.
Don't let the occasional Kookie Konservative Moderators' Day make you stop trying to tell the truth, friend.
Glad to see he respected the Book of Armaments by serutan · 2010-01-12 09:09 · Score: 1

"May our tongues be gentle, our e-mails be simple and our websites be accessible."
"Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three."
Erh, praying? by Silas+is+back · 2010-01-12 09:13 · Score: 1

"May [...] our websites be accessible"
URL: http://www.london-city-churches.org.uk/Churches/St%20Lawrence%20Jewry.htm
meta name="GENERATOR": Microsoft FrontPage 12.0
I'm pretty sure that praying is absolutely useless, especially in this case...

--
this sig is useless
Re:Absurd?!?! by sznupi · 2010-01-12 09:20 · Score: 1

How is that not an assistance? They try to control their chosen deity to perform tricks for them, after all (there's no humility in that BTW)

--
One that hath name thou can not otter
Re:Exorcism for Windows viruses^H^H^H^H^H^H^H by deprecated · 2010-01-12 09:56 · Score: 1

They need an exorcism ritual for Windows viruses^H^H^H^H^H^H^H as well.
Fixed.
May the websites be accessible? by mangu · 2010-01-12 10:34 · Score: 1

I knew it! Slashdotting is the work of the Evil One!
Blessed cell phone = holy texting by da+cog · 2010-01-12 10:43 · Score: 1

Wow, talk about progress! It used to be that if you wanted to see whether someone was a vampire you would have force them into holding a Bible to see if it burns their hands, but now all that you have to do is to bless your cell phone and then use it to send them a holy text!

--
Snarkiness is inversely proportional to wisdom because it emphasizes feeling right rather than being right.
That's not as crazy as it sounds. by mosb1000 · 2010-01-12 10:47 · Score: 1

"I'm certain the Christian Scientists are already advocating a belief that calling hardware tech support at your job is not necessary."

I have found it to be rather ineffective. My coworker has been waiting to get her cd burner replaced for over a month. In the meantime she emails me the file path of the files she want's to burn and I do it for her.

As for software, I've been asking for Acrobat for over a year, and they still won't give it to me, even though I need to edit PDFs all the time. I doubt praying for the software would be less effective.
Redundant by mosb1000 · 2010-01-12 10:53 · Score: 2, Insightful

The content of your post is implied in all Slashdot stories, since there inevitably is someone who will find anything irrelevant.
Re:Once again! by iamhassi · 2010-01-12 11:02 · Score: 0, Troll

"Another example of why organized religion is bullshit."

No, this is an example of why some organized religion is bullshit.

It's the Church of England for god's sake, what did you expect? It was created so a king could get a divorce and it's been a joke ever since.

What if Obama created Church of America, would anyone care?

--
my karma will be here long after I'm gone
Re:Once again! by mdwh2 · 2010-01-12 11:35 · Score: 1

Which isn't bullshit? Are some of them true? I mean, I'm assuming we're talking "bullshit" in the sense of "a load of rubbish" as opposed to harmful or whatever?
Blessing them is one thing ... by PaganRitual · 2010-01-12 13:06 · Score: 1

... now I want to see someone volunteer theirs to be thrown into the water for everyone to dive in and be the first to grab it. I hear that the winner is blessed with good luck for the rest of the year. Except if it was your phone thrown into the water, in which case it's probably off to a bad start.
seeking darkened enlightenment by ewertz · 2010-01-12 13:07 · Score: 0

Must... bury... head... deeper...
Only 38k to go.... by ihaveamo · 2010-01-12 14:56 · Score: 1

Before 40k! Sure, its just a simple blessing now, but I see the beginnings of the Adeptus Mechanicus
Don't abuse mod points, post a response instead. by aristotle-dude · 2010-01-13 16:49 · Score: 1

Ok, people, the GP is "flamebait". I'm at the most responding to the flamebait. I love how the actual flamebait is modded as "interesting". If you don't agree with someone, post a reply like I did, don't abuse your mod points.

--
Jesus was a compassionate social conservative who called individuals to sin no more.