Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Sumo Wrestler Steals Cash Machine From Moscow Shop

Posted by kdawson on from the you-want-fries-with-that? dept.

timothy writes "Anyone skeevy and devious enough can buy online an ATM skimmer from some underhanded maker of same, but why not cut out the middleman, and just take the cash directly? (Also, if you're going to attempt to stop him, can I have your watch when you are dead?)"

43 comments

  1. bang bang, chop chop, bat bat by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    you don't wrestle a whale timothy, you kill it

  2. meh by Fusen · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I thought this was in idle and was wondering why it was in my RSS feed and then saw it's in YRO. Come on slashdot...

    1. Re:meh by Kagura · · Score: 2
      Best. Summary. Ever. No information was left out. It is the perfect example to which all other summaries pale in comparison. It set the bar so high. Here was my pitiful attempt:

      A man believed to be a sumo wrestler ripped out a cash machine weighing 90kg (200lb) and made off with it on his shoulders, police in Moscow report.

      The machine containing 25,320 roubles ($850) was found in his car.

    2. Re:meh by Provocateur · · Score: 1

      Well, it could have been snapped right out of a Stephenson book, but yeah, it would have been his front page, not Slashdot's.

      My search skills are sub-par, where is that story in /. about 'Sci-Fi short stories in seven words or less' when you need it? Any link/help would be greatly appreciated...

      --
      WARNING: Smartphones have side effects--most of them undocumented.
    3. Re:meh by PopeRatzo · · Score: 1

      Best. Summary. Ever.

      Well, now. Here's a story that nobody's going to claim is a dupe of one from 2008.

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    4. Re:meh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      They accidentally put this in YRO? That's a pretty massive mistake.

    5. Re:meh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Perhaps a sumo-wrestler walked into slashdot and demanded it being that way, for our own good.

    6. Re:meh by Brianwa · · Score: 1

      To be fair, it does represent a security flaw that is present in most modern operating systems.

    7. Re:meh by mrmeval · · Score: 1

      No most modern operating systems can operate automated guns just fine. I prefer a Linux based one but I'm blasphemous denier of The One True Operating System.

      --
      I'd go on a Vegan diet but the delivery time from Vega is too long. --brownkitty
  3. This isn't Fark, Kdawson by Shadow+of+Eternity · · Score: 4, Insightful

    This story has nothing to do with "Your Rights Online", it isn't news for nerds, and it doesn't matter.

    It may be entertaining but it's not remotely slashdot material.

    --
    A bullet may have your name on it but splash damage is addressed "To whom it may concern."
    1. Re:This isn't Fark, Kdawson by PopeRatzo · · Score: 2, Funny

      It may be entertaining but it's not remotely slashdot material.

      Hey, it's only 6 in the morning,

      Haven't you ever heard the expression "slow news day"?

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    2. Re:This isn't Fark, Kdawson by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      In Russia, ATM... never mind.

    3. Re:This isn't Fark, Kdawson by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Well, looks like it's time to go back to downvoting all kdawson's articles and tagging them kdawsonsucks again.

      Oh well. I don't remember why I stopped, since the submissions from kdawson are almost universally stupid...

    4. Re:This isn't Fark, Kdawson by Hurricane78 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      but it's not remotely slashdot material.

      To be fair: So is kdawson. ;)

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
    5. Re:This isn't Fark, Kdawson by lucian1900 · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Can we please mod article authors?

    6. Re:This isn't Fark, Kdawson by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Hey. The sumo wrestler was misled. Don't you want to know if Russian police are arresting people on the shakiest of evidence? "Only a sumo wrestler could have lifted this machine." Pfft. I'm sure there are hundreds of sumo wrestlers in that area. In America, you are innocent until proven guilty. How many of us have been misled by our friends into "helping out with some technical support" only to find we were actually "stealing wads of cash". It's an innocent mistake, and in America, you don't have to rot in jail for such a typical scenario. Looks like the Russian justice system has some growing up to do.

    7. Re:This isn't Fark, Kdawson by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Careful what you wish for. They could get pissed and stop writing, and then you're facing the threat that my articles get accepted.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    8. Re:This isn't Fark, Kdawson by tepples · · Score: 1

      Can we please mod article authors?

      No, but you can set authors on ignore, under "Customize Stories on the Homepage".

  4. Thanks for posting here... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    now it even made it to the front page.

  5. WTF? by Merakis · · Score: 0

    I'm assuming he knocked it out of the dohy?

  6. I have a Sumo Wrestler by Symnron · · Score: 4, Funny

    I have a sumo wrestler, it's loaded, and I'm not afraid to use it!

  7. Everyone knows wrestling is fake by MoeDumb · · Score: 0

    Therefore the money probably was counterfeit.

    --
    Mod Me Up. You'll make a grown man cry.
  8. Your rights online? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    WTF has this to do with your rights online? Do wretlers have a right to steal?

  9. I read this yesterday. Interesting, but not YRO. by blind+biker · · Score: 1

    This very interesting story has jack-all to do with YRO.

    But anyhow, there were two perpetrators, who tried to flee with a car with darkened windows. A black BMW, IIRC. When the police caught them, the small(er) guy was trying to protect his sumo-wwrestling friend, saying that he didn't know this was a crime, that he has been conned by the little guy into thinking this was just an attempt at getting the little guy's money back - but the police didn't buy it and arrested both of them.

    --
    "The agriculture ministry is not in charge of Gundam" - Japanese ministry official.
  10. a Russian saying applies best here by roman_mir · · Score: 1

    "If you have strength, you don't need brains" (or you don't need intelligence).

    Ripping out a 90Kg ATM and carrying it away on his shoulders? Well, this guy sure has the strength.

    --
    You can't handle the truth.
    1. Re:a Russian saying applies best here by MoonBuggy · · Score: 1

      Yes, and he committed an easily traceable crime in broad daylight, and was caught soon after in possession of fairly solid evidence (the stolen machine itself). All this was done for the potential profit of, at most, the few thousand that you might find in a cash machine - in this case it was only about $800. I'm going to guess that perhaps a little more intelligence would have done him good after all.

    2. Re:a Russian saying applies best here by roman_mir · · Score: 1

      Yes, well, that saying is a sarcastic remark, it is not intended to be followed, it is intended to ridicule such actions of brute force without attempting to use some intelligence first.

      --
      You can't handle the truth.
    3. Re:a Russian saying applies best here by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't call 6AM (before sunrise in Moscow at this time of year) broad daylight.

  11. Driving without number-plates? by mr_lizard13 · · Score: 1

    This guy clearly has no moral compass.

    --
    "We live in a global world" - Harvey Pitt, former Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman
    1. Re:Driving without number-plates? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It clearly states sumo wrestler and not First Lord of the Treasury

  12. Really people? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Who cares if this YRO or not or whatever. You still found this story on slashdot, one of our favorite sites that still elicits a chuckle every now and again when there isn't the most important/ground-breaking stuff going on.
    I mean, come on, did you think you were gonna wake up to a story like this?
    I sure didn't. =)

  13. Imagine the point in the police investigation... by hey! · · Score: 1

    where they ask the witness to pick the culprit out in a lineup.

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  14. It is Sumo Tori by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    you insensitive clod!

  15. The punchline by outsider007 · · Score: 1

    Pardon me, officer, I was just trying to check my rolling balance.

    Or something about the rising costs of all-you-can-eat sushi buffets

    --
    If you mod me down the terrorists will have won
  16. Holy shit, batman! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    He ripped out a 200 lb machine?
    And he carried it on his shoulder on the way out...
    Now that's impressive.

  17. Moral compasses by Alan+R+Light · · Score: 1

    Do moral compasses work that far north?

    Perhaps it's time to invest in moral GPS.

  18. It's not THAT hard... by magus_melchior · · Score: 1

    Also, if you're going to attempt to stop him, can I have your watch when you are dead?

    Stopping him by confronting him head-on would be a risky maneuver at best, but there are other ways of stopping his behavior and/or not letting him get away with it. Taking cell phone footage of the guy hauling the ATM and plastering it on Youtube, for example. I'm told this same technique brought a lot of unwanted notoriety to the BART police when one of their officers shot a restrained guy dead.

    This sort of thing, sumo wrestler or not (and since that's the suspect's claim, I doubt he is one unless Roho or some of the other Russian wrestlers went nuts), is best left to the authorities anyway. But take the pictures discreetly, just in case it's a mayor's son or something.

    --
    "We are Microsoft. You shall be assimilated. Competition is futile."
    1. Re:It's not THAT hard... by Opportunist · · Score: 1

      Well, considering what I know of Moscow, it's not a bad advise to take pictures of a suspect discreetly when you watch him drive off in a BMW with tinted glasses... Whether it's wise to hand the pics to the police personally instead of sending them in an envelope without your address or fingerprints on is another thing to consider...

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  19. Brute Force Attack ! by OricAtmos48K · · Score: 1

    Literally, this is the first real life example of what I read in the books.

  20. El Guapo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Nice three amigos reference

  21. BBC? Seriously? by djdevon3 · · Score: 1

    You posted a non-technological story to Slashdot and the source was BBC. Double Fail.

  22. Re:Imagine the point in the police investigation.. by Opportunist · · Score: 1

    Could still be touch in some areas of the US and Europe. Maybe they're not as strong but finding enough people "beefy" enough to make the lineup "acceptable" should be trivial.

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  23. Tags by fulldecent · · Score: 1

    photosoritdidnthappen

    --

    -- I was raised on the command line, bitch