Slashdot Mirror
Company Invents Electronic Underpants
theodp writes "SIMsystem have created the world's first electric underpants that let you know that you've got issues by texting. Incontinence issues, to be more precise. The new-and-improved skivvies come equipped with a sensor strip that alerts caregivers to wetness via text message. From the technology summary: 'The SIMbox, when fitted into the individual resident's stretchpants (SIMpants), transmits sensor readings from the SIMstrip in the SIMpad® over a wireless network to the SIMserver. The SIMsystemManager software running on the SIMserver then detects key information about continence events and determines when to alert care staff about an event requiring attention.' So, who's going to start an open source project?"
Peenix.
"The average reporter we talk to is 27 years old......They literally know nothing." - Ben Rhodes
Phase 1: Steal Underpants Phase 2: Retrofit with electronic apparatus Phase 3: PROFIT!
My pee eff eff Jill...
Coming in 2011 from Apple, iShit!
...let me guess, it's April 1st on the other side of the dateline, right?
I am not a number - I am a free man!
The phrase "my underpants run Linux" will not distract from the number of text messages you get while on your date.
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
I know most will understandably make jokes about this. However, this can be a real issue in nursing homes and hospitals. Many patients are incapable of communicating. Manual checking is time consuming and invasive. And from a health standpoint, you need to change someone as soon as possible. Even if you manually check every two hours, do you want your patient sitting in the mess that long? And as anyone who has manned a help desk knows... no matter how good of a job you do, there will be someone to complain that you didn't.
So while funny on the surface, this is a real winner of a product idea.
See my journal for slashdot ID's by year. Mine created in 2005. http://slashdot.org/journal/289875/slashdot-ids-by-year
is all wet (Sorry, it had to be said.).
Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
Will it be fiber, some sort of wireless technology, or just a regular broadband?
If you taking care of someone who is incontinent, you are pretty much changing them constantly on some kind of schedule. It is not like you need some alarm to call a code blue. Or code brown as I loathe to call it. Electronic undies that report to a wireless station seems to be an over-engineered response to this particular problem.
If you think you need these, you have bigger issues.
Cheaper - just stick a cell phone battery in your underwear. Urine is a conductor - you'll know when you've shorted it out - your underpants will catch fire and dry themselves out automatically.
A way to efficiently handle buffer overflows in real time.
Running GNOME, of course.
1960's: Walking on the moon
2000's: Walking on the moon in underwear that will tweet whenever the astronaut voids his bladder!
We've made so much progress!
(-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
[accident happens at party]
* Damn, I need an excuse to go deal with this before anyone notices
* Pants send SMS to user
* Looks at phone. "Sorry guys, I've got to deal with this." - heads away looking like an important person whi is on-call rather than an incontinent person who has just paid an unintended call.
Open source? isn't the whole problem that the source is too open as it is? Wait... the source of what? I really feel like an incurable layman and outsider when people say things like: "we've electrified underpants, but only for when there's moisture." and finally, wouldn't a better invention be a use for incontinent elderly folks? Ok, I've had my fun, you may return to the matter at hand.
You need more psychedelic art in your life. rhesusmonkey.deviantart.com
Finally!
Next up, flying cars, jet packs and sassy domestic house cleaning robots, like in the Jetsons. Roomba doesn't count because it isn't sassy enough.
No, I run KDE....
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!
Paleotechnologist and connoisseur of pretty shiny things.
Lets get them all in one place...
This should really be a bluetooth application.
...are they blazing for Newton Crosby?
Ed R.Zahurak
You know, oblivion keeps looking better every day.
I guess most people aren't worried about incontinence AND sperm production, but I would not want a wireless transmitter hosted that close to my reproductive factories...
It could bring new meaning to the phrase "liar, liar, pants on fire."
Digitaaaaaaal.... paaaaaaaants..... ACTIVATE!
Support my political activism on Patreon.
pants0 on fire
How long until you can buy them used on your average streetcorner in Japan?
OMG THE MISSING STEP!!!
1. Collect Underpants
2. Sue makers of electronic underpants for patent infringement
3. Profit!
How could we all have been so blind... its the Underpants Gnomes Mafiaa
Will I get a ticket for wearing these while driving?
Open Source is like a disease, always in search of another host to infect.
Uh-- I'm pretty sure I saw something just like this when the iPad jokes started.
http://asiajin.com/blog/2010/01/30/japan-has-ipadaipad-its-hi-tech-adult-diaper
if your electronic underwear won't sync with the server check your IP settings. Then make sure the portscanner is working. In the event of a total failure feel free to use the finger utility. Just be sure to zip up after you're done.
...that a Beowulf cluster of those!
Think about your girlfriend wearing one of these electronic pant. You will be able to know whenever she thinks about having sex with you .. or with someone else!
Anonymous Coward has left... -___-'
You likey sparky spanky?
You have the right to remain sentient. If you give up the right to remain sentient, you will be elected to public office
Does it tweet?
SIMsystem is pants!
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
Some people, they go to bed; they think everything's fine, everything's good. Then they wake up and their crotch is on fire.
Great new book on Evolution: The Greatest Show on Earth by Richard Dawkins
Does it vibrate?
lmao u jez pizd ur pants
Obligatory
Terrific! A little hacking, and you can follow the status of my junk on Twitter directly. That oughta save me some typing.
While it does seem to be a good idea at first, it would increase the cost of the briefs considerably. In most cases we would still have to check the residents every 2 hours to reposition them, offer them water etc so there is not going to be a big labor saving.
I guess it could automatically fill out bowel&bladder records.
(There maybe more advantages on AM and PM shifts, I only work nights.
Sweat.
Is it april fools day already?
As said by Douglas Reynholm in The IT Crowd: "God damn, These electric sex pants!"
No they did not invent electric underpants. Electronic underpants that send an alarm when wet are as old as electricity. They have merely made the embarrassment more private by sending a text or e-mail rather than an audible alarm!
Why bother
Great, there'll be no living with those folks out in Utah now.
Otherwise, it will never be able to do streaming.
Raoul Mitgong: Unhelpful.
"So, who's going to start an open source project?" is a redundant question.
The device already lets you know when you are open and projecting sauce.
Phase 1: Collect Electronic Underpants
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit
I see London
I see France
I can Tweet my underpants....
Like Pantsministrator.
...Oh come on!, it's close enough to the first of April for this shit!
I had to stop reading the comments when someone said they phrase 'underpants log'. I will never hear the word server log quite the same again.
I for one can't wait to get some of these "smart e-pants".
were you expecting to see a sig here? perhaps you'd rather see the inside of an ambulance!