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Steve Jobs Recommends Android For Fans of Porn

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the only-flashers-own-trenchcoats dept.

hansamurai writes "After being asked about the App Store's recent ban on 'sexy apps,' Steve Jobs responded, 'We do believe we have a moral responsibility to keep porn off the iPhone. Folks who want porn can buy an Android phone. You know, there's a porn store for Android, you can download nothing but porn. You can download porn, your kids can download porn. That's a place we don't want to go, so we're not going to go there.' Apps such as Playboy's and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition are still available on the App Store, however, as they come from 'more reputable companies.'"

30 of 909 comments (clear)

  1. Ready Pitchforks! by MobileTatsu-NJG · · Score: 1, Funny

    Alright, men! Let's wave our pitchforks, complain about all the Apple news, and make sure Slashdot serves as many ads as possible in the process!

    --

    "I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)

    1. Re:Ready Pitchforks! by Philip+K+Dickhead · · Score: 3, Funny

      So, the argument and merits boil down to this: You may choose between Bowdlerized digital lifestyle from Apple, or a direct pipeline into the next-generation of Total Information Awareness from Google?

      Try and get a Google account without submitting a verifiable mobile number. Combine the use of that account with any phone running Google Maps and Search. Now, multiply that potential by an order of magnitude, when you operate a phone stack that is completely designed and built by Google. Correlate your location and your content and your identity?

      I can look at REAL tits, thanks.

      --
      "Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
  2. So does he own any android phones? by hansraj · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or he only watches "reputable porn"?

    1. Re:So does he own any android phones? by stackOVFL · · Score: 3, Funny

      No app for that? Guess we need to wait for the iPorn? Or is that iPad? I'm so confused

    2. Re:So does he own any android phones? by McGruber · · Score: 2, Funny

      No app for that? Guess we need to wait for the iPorn? Or is that iPad?

      iSpank

  3. In other news... by maugle · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sales of Android phones increased 1000%.

    1. Re:In other news... by exabrial · · Score: 4, Funny

      Is there porn on the itunes store? Or are you using an illegal method to transfer licensed content to a playback medium not covered by the origanal license?

    2. Re:In other news... by gstoddart · · Score: 2, Funny

      For about ten minutes before customers realized that they could still get porn using Safari and that iTunes gladly lets them transfer their porn videos to the iPhone.

      You know, being among that (apparently small) group of people who only use my phone for phone calls ... I am completely baffled as to why anyone would want porn on their phone. I just can't imagine where I'd be that porn on my phone would be what I most needed.

      Then again, I don't text, surf the web, or any of half a dozen things with my cell phone that everyone else seems to want to do. So, I'm likely missing the point. :-P

      Cheers

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    3. Re:In other news... by gbjbaanb · · Score: 3, Funny

      But Jobs was definitely trying to inspire some FUD (in this case, fear) against the Android when he said "You can download porn, your kids can download porn..."

      Good job he didn't mention the Kin, then you can download porn *of* your kids.

  4. He missed the opportunity for a real ice-burn... by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Funny

    He is really being a dick there. There's a "porn store" for the iPhone as well, called "Mobile Safari". If anything, the prices are lower.

    However, if he is going to be an asshole he should have gone just a little further... Something to the effect of "And the inferior multitouch support won't bother you nearly as much if you are always using your phone one-handed..."

  5. Any other recommendations, Steve? by Gizzmonic · · Score: 5, Funny

    Steve, buddy! Thanks for the recommendations, I'm a huge fan of pr0n. Could you also recommend pr0n-friendly restaurants, hotels, bakeries etc?

    --
    (-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
    1. Re:Any other recommendations, Steve? by RyuuzakiTetsuya · · Score: 4, Funny

      Last time I tried to buy an erotic cake, Jean Luc Picard tried to sell me a cake of a woman going to the bathroom. So, no.

      --
      Non impediti ratione cogitationus.
  6. so... He's saying... by Colin+Smith · · Score: 3, Funny

    Apple products are for girly men... Or not.

    --
    Deleted
  7. Re:Is it my imagination? by Spatial · · Score: 5, Funny

    A momentary fluctuation in the reality distortion field.

  8. Re:You're all missing the point by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Hmm, Apple Porn. *looks at fruit basket*

  9. Sony Recommends VHS For Fans of Porn by SirWhoopass · · Score: 4, Funny

    Didn't Sony pretty much take the exact same stance with their Betamax format? How did that work out for them?

  10. Every Time Jobs Speaks by SplicerNYC · · Score: 2, Funny

    I end up liking Bill Gates that much more.

  11. Re:You have to wonder... by viking099 · · Score: 2, Funny

    He's got this friend, see, who never thought it would happen to him.

    It all began in line at the Apple store, and a warm hand brushed the back of his neck, and whispered, "You might like the way I look on that iPhone, but with your Android phone, you get it all, even the parts where iTouch myself."

  12. Re:Like the sound of this by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Are you happy to see me or is that an Android phone in your pocket?

  13. Re:He missed the opportunity for a real ice-burn.. by DeBaas · · Score: 4, Funny

    He is really being a dick there. There's a "porn store" for the iPhone as well, called "Mobile Safari". If anything, the prices are lower.

    He's got balls though, if he think he can be a bigger dick than those in the porn business

    --
    ---
  14. He really stepped it up this time. by jwietelmann · · Score: 4, Funny
    This rhetoric is really kicking it up a notch. We're getting into really cynical propaganda territory here.

    Buy our iPhone! Unless you're one of those porn-addicted Android users. I certainly welcome competition, and our competitors are doing a great job of fulfilling that niche market of phones for porn addicts. So if you're proud of being addicted to porn, show everyone just how much you mean it by purchasing my competitor's fine Android product and taking it with you everywhere. Android: There's no better way to tell the world "I'd rather be watching porn!"

  15. The Internet has taught us the power of two things by gimmebeer · · Score: 2, Funny

    Video games and porn. Steve has undermined half of the reason the internet exists. Not a good move there buddy.

  16. Re:Like the sound of this by houstonbofh · · Score: 5, Funny

    I prefer deep dicking some tight wet pussy over but I guess porn phone is ok for losers like you that sit home and jack off.

    That is the point! If it is on your phone, you don't have to sit at home and jack off. You can jack off on the go!

  17. Re:He missed the opportunity for a real ice-burn.. by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Funny

    "The porn guys are pikers: They pay to screw their employees. My customers pay me to screw them."

    Yours in manifest serenity, S. Jobs

  18. Reputable? by jslater25 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm pretty sure that my wife would have something to say about Playboy being considered 'reputable'.

  19. Re:Like the sound of this by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I love how this got modded informative

  20. Re:But Apple does not provide them by colesw · · Score: 2, Funny

    Haven't you heard? Only gay people watch pornography!

  21. Does anyone see a pattern here? by An+dochasac · · Score: 4, Funny

    No Pr0n:Betamax, Laserdisc, Afghanistan, iPad,
    Pr0n: VHS, DVD, Las Vegas, Google Android

    Thank's for the tip Mr. Jobs!

  22. Touch and gestures by Tetsujin · · Score: 2, Funny

    Can you zoom in real life with only 2 fingers?

    Well, if I "pinch" the boobs, they do move further away...

    --
    Bow-ties are cool.
  23. Re:If Someone Wanted To Go Religious by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Wow. 9am and I've already sinned about a thousand times. Nice. What's the record?