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Russian Officials To Investigate Regional President's Alien Abduction Claims
wdef writes "The BBC reports that a Russian MP has asked President Dmitry Medvedev to investigate claims by a regional president that he has met aliens on board a spaceship. Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the leader of the southern region of Kalymkia, made his claim in a television interview. Mr Ilyumzhinov said in an interview on primetime television that he had been taken on board an alien spaceship which had come to planet Earth to take samples — and claims to have several witnesses. He has been president of Kalmykia, a small Buddhist region of Russia which lies on the shores of the Caspian Sea, for 17 years. As president of the World Chess Federation, he has spent tens of millions of dollars turning the impoverished republic into a mecca for chess players — building an entire village to host international tournaments. MP Andre Lebedev is not just asking whether Mr Ilyumzhinov is fit to govern. He is also concerned that, if he was abducted, he may have revealed details about his job and state secrets."
Why do high profile chess players always have to go completely batshit crazy?
Tomorrow we'll find out Kasparov has invented a "free energy" machine and historians have found a volume of letters from Paul Morphy claiming he controlled the moon.
My work here is dung.
What the hell? Come on aliens! Seriously? America has twice the crazies suitable for testing and ... probing. Russia is so 18th and 19th century. I promise you that for at least the next decade, Americans are the ones you want to abduct.
Mr. President there must not be an alien abduction gap! I propose we take our most popular specimens like Tom Cruise, Ke$ha, Will Smith and Robert Downey Jr. and chain them down in a random field for sampling by aliens.
My work here is dung.
It's amazing the extremes some politicans will go to to cover up affairs from their wives. "You see honey, I spend all weekend with...uh...ALIENS!" In other news, Ilyumzhinov is also planning a hiking trip this weekend on the Appalachian Trail--where his cellphone won't work, so don't even bother calling.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
They already found proof of the UFO. Looks convincing to me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOWyZUI8a0g&feature=related
What are the odds they understand Russian?
... you abduct Aliens :)
I was sure i was reading "The Onion"...i even smiled while i went into the last sentence.
You'd think that someone fabricating an alien abduction tale would at least get the basics right.
Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the leader of the southern region of Kalymkia, made his claim in a television interview. Mr Ilyumzhinov said in an interview on primetime television that he had been taken on board an alien spaceship which had come to planet Earth to take samples — and claims to have several witnesses
Unfortunately, those alien witnesses are unavailable for questioning . . .
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
I have two words for you: "Crazy dictator".
Russian regional "governators" are appointed by president and all they have to do to stay in power in their local feods is simply lick Moscow's ass.
At this circumstances it's a badge of honor for a local tzar to say something batshit crazy just to show that you are one wholesome untouchable sonofabitch.
I do not believe in karma. "Funny"=-6. Do good and forbid evil. Yours, Oft-Offtopic Flamebaiting Troll.
You'd think if a alien species could travel millions of billions of miles at (presumably) FTL speeds, they'd at least have the foresight to abduct someone important to interview.
Caffeine is my anti-drug!
Duranin - A NWN2 Roleplaying Persistent World
Took me for a ride on the Ketel One.
It's amazing the extremes some politicans will go to to cover up affairs from their wives. "You see honey, I spend all weekend with...uh...ALIENS!" In other news, Ilyumzhinov is also planning a hiking trip this weekend on the Appalachian Trail--where his cellphone won't work, so don't even bother calling.
Well, it wouldn't be the first time a rediculously tall tail helped through the missus off the scent. When (Mormon founder) Joseph Smith was caught molesting a 14-year-old child, he simply told his followers (and his wife) that an angel with a sword commanded him to do it, and that everyone thereafter was ordered (by God, by way of sword-wielding angel and self-proclaimed prophet) to have more than one wife, on pain of death and damnation.
Which of course led to such wonderful quotes as:
"I think no more of taking another wife than I do of buying a cow."
- Apostle Heber C. Kimball, The Twenty Seventh Wife, Irving Wallace, p. 101.
It's an interesting progression of excuses:
1. The Devil made me do it!
2. God, in the form of an angel with a flaming sword, made me do it!
3. Aliens made me do it!
At least with aliens, it's trendy and captures the zeitgeist
The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
Does anybody else have a small part of them hoping it's true when hearing news stories like this?
http://wwww.zerospeaks.com
Well, if there is a serious honest and open investigation, then hopefully some definitive answers. Personally I don't think it matters wither he is being abducted, or we find the part of the brain that makes him believe this and correct it. So long as at the end, this man and the several thousand other people who claim this has happened to them get some answers and peace.
-Ours is the wisdom of Solomon, the magic of Merlyn, the fall of Icaris.
I, for one, want to believe!
The region of not "KalYMkia" it is "KalMYkia" copy-paste from BBC article must be difficult.
I don't think it works that way, though. There isn't evidence that using one's brain too much can cause the same kind of damage as pulling a muscle or twisting a knee does in more physical sports. On the contrary, there is a ton of evidence by now that it can actually delay the onset of the various forms of neuro-degeneration in the old age.
But it may be that you already have to be not entirely normal up there in the first place to make it that far in chess.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
This dude is not really and good chess player. He is destroying the Chess Federation and has very strong opposition. Also, he is a tyrant of his land - 17 years - he has all chances to be there as long as Castro in Cuba.
And looks like he is crazy too which explains a lot.
posting to undo...
One last thing: Sometimes I wonder; "Is that someone's signature? Or do they type that at the end of each post?"
Comment removed based on user account deletion
He says he visited an alien spaceship at 18th of September 1997, "at Saturday evening". My calendar disagrees - 1997-09-18 was Thursday.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_City
and i am disappointed at the lack of buildings in the shape of pawns, bishops, and rooks
also, i fully expected murray head's "one night in bangkok" to be piped in by loudspeakers
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_(musical)
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Do you know it? Yep. It is very low compared to other jobs.
He is not to be believed because he plays chess, reason enough. Let us instead make a list of abductees who could really create a stir with their story. Richard Dawkins, my personal favorite nominee. President Obama of course. More?
You abduct...aliens?
Did he see Farrakhan up there as well?
people abduct aliens
How is this claim about UFOs/aliens any different, reality-wise, than the millions of people around teh world who actually believe that a Jew thousands of years ago raised himself from the dead, or that Moses made the sea split so he could travel across it, or that Jacob wrestled with an angel? Let's not make claiming one variety of unprovable phenomena acceptable, but the other to be social and political suicide.
Reply to That ||
He's far from the only one who has reported this - an awful lot of very credible people have - people who have nothing to gain and everything to lose by even mentioning it.
So there is something going on.
I think people are remiss by dismissing people who report this stuff and labelling them as "crazy." History is full of examples of people reporting on anomalies and being called crazy only to find these anomalies accepted as fact later on.
Thank you for your insightful observations on mind preservation. You have confirmed a suspicion that I have harbored for decades. I've now redoubled my dedication to sitting on the sofa eating Cheetos and daydreaming of daffodils. I expect to reach Mensa status by the time I'm ready to 'retire'. Enjoy.
This ain't no upwardly mobile freeway This is the road to hell
So if he is telling the truth, he should be booted out of office because he is a security risk, and if he is not, he should be booted out of office because he is fuckin' nuts? Sounds like reporting an alien abduction is functionally equivalent to asking for early retirement. Good thing this couldn't happen in Arizona, where those aliens would immediately be asked to show their papers!
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
He is a President, for crying out loud! Aliens always either install an anal probe, or explicitly demand to speak to someone in charge. Why all the skepticism?
It seems an honest alien has nobody to turn to these days. If they abducted the the president of US it would probably be classified, because nobody wants to be ridiculed.
I thought that your particular species of troll (you know, the ones who just make ludicrous crap up and then get modded up for it) had gone extinct! Way to go, trolls!
Of course, all rational and intelligent people understand that everything which exists has already been discovered. If there really were aliens, there would be some concrete evidence that they exist. Apart from all the evidence, eyewitness testimony, video, statistical probability, and historical record, there is no evidence whatsoever that other sentient beings exist in the universe. Furthermore, it should be apparent that any form of inquiry into this topic is prima facia evidence of insanity. Any experience that you have which does not conform to the general consensus of what does or does not exist should be treated as an abberation and you should immediately see a psychiatrist if it repeats. If, for instance, you drop a 1lb ball and a 5lb ball of the same size and they hit the ground at the same time, please see a physician immediately as everyone knows that heavier things fall faster than lighter things. If you see a rainbow after splitting white light in a prism, this is also an abberant event in your consciousness and should be treated with the utmost concern. Personally I believe aliens exist and have been visiting the Earth for some time, perhaps into the thousands of years. But they aren't exactly physical beings you can poke with a stick. They have an ephemeral quality, able to slide in and out of our perceptual field. There is a certain malleability inherent in their appearances, and I think that Djinn, angels, faeries, aliens, and "gods" are probably all manifestations of the same "species" of non-human intelligence. Like some of the finer effects of quantum physics, they seem to partake of a different form of reality than rocks or cars or asphalt. But of course, such an inquiry should be shouted down as loudly and often as necessary. Any investigation of what is not already known is an insult to the hardworking scientists who already know they know everything.
When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.
Mod parent +5 funny. I have mod points, but I can only use one on this post. It's going to take about 10 to under-rate and +funny this post the way it's begging to be.
Please! For the love of irony, please, mod parent +5 funny! Think of the children!
New webcomic updated on Sundays: HERE
We can look as far as we can go back in space/time (see NOVA Hunting Teh edge of space and we end with widely scattered light that we cannot see past. Then we go the route of looking at the very very small (see LHC LHC experiments video
So as much as what is all happening in 2012 (what we know scientifically) there is also our point in evolution and science where we see a millionth of a second past the big bang.
When will we and the Aliens be ready to meet?
When they don't have to prove to us what we will then know ourselves.
When you think of it, neither the big bang theorist or the religious creationist are completely correct, as the honesty of teh matter is a bit of both.
Who do you think gave us the content to write our religious texts? And based on their own evolution and advanced technology just as we will be able to look back in hindsight.
Looking back in space time we see widely scattered light -- like what Genesis describes. go figure..
It's amazing the extremes some politicans will go to to cover up affairs from their wives. "You see honey, I spend all weekend with...uh...ALIENS!" In other news, Ilyumzhinov is also planning a hiking trip this weekend on the Appalachian Trail--where his cellphone won't work, so don't even bother calling.
I heard he's also hiring aliens to carry his luggage...?
in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
The timing of this news break is no coincidence.
He is in a fight vs. former chess world champion Karpov over the presidency position of the extremely corrupt and lucrative world chess federation.
Karpov must have arranged for this to break out now to make Krisian look even more silly than usual.
As the alien visit happened few years ago anyway, per Krisian.
Actually, there is no evidence I'm aware of that programmers actually get worse with age. Or any other brain jobm, for that matter. The earliest peak I've seen in actual statistics curves is at 35 for scientific inventions, _but_, here's the important part, it doesn't mean it drops to zero afterwards or anything. The bell curve still has a ways to go. Only around the mid-50's it actually became "only" as high as when fresh out of college. In other domains it essentially only started to drop off when death started to take its toll.
So basically all you illustrate is a case of prejudice "confirming" prejudice, in a lovely example of the begging the question fallacy. (A.k.a., circular logic.) An age limit which is there only because of unsuported age-ism, is taken as proof that that age-ism is right. Basically in the same ways a witch trials were taken as evidence that witchcraft objectively exists.
Plus, there's the ever popular DunningKruger effect. When measured by someone who is still ignorant enough to have realized how much they still have to learn -- be it the stereotypical PHB whose sole competence (ever or any-more) are pr jobs in IT-for-managers ragazines, or the kind of young un' who thinks he's the greatest ever for writing his first 2000 line write-only program -- then yes, experience seems overrated.
But if you have any actual statistics, I'm all ears.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
1. The Devil made me do it!
2. God, in the form of an angel with a fag, made me do it!
3. Aliens made me do it!
At least with aliens, it's trendy and captures the zeitgeist
I started programming very early, when I was barely a kid. I figured out alone most of programming data structures at that age, heck I even programmed my own (at the time) concept of linked lists using arrays and its indexes in BASIC.
Obviously, I followed a programming career on a good software house where I'm still employed. The only reason I'm still doing software engineering its because I love it. But right now, at my 30's, I'm starting to feel tired and lose focus more frequently. And worst of all, I'm slower figuring out some good (programming) solutions, thing I was always good at.
I guess it is time to start doing QA or project management and leave programming as a job.
If that's the case, yes, probably that's the best course of action.
But, again, I'd advise making sure first that it's not simply the Dunning-Kruger effect. The paradox there is that while the least competent people overrate their competence (and that is the most publicized aspect,) the more competent ones tend to underrate themselves. So basically you can jolly well have the impression that you've been going up to a peak and down again ever since, when in reality you're only going up.
But I don't presume to diagnose something like that from one message. You're the best suited to judge if really you're any worse, or you've just moved on to more complex solutions, or maybe just you've got higher standards for what counts as a "good solution" to come up with.
I know _I_ in my teen years thought I was a freaking genius for coming up with some solutions that nowadays I'd consider submitting to the Daily WTF. Both then and now I was coming up with "good" solutions, but what I judged "good" back then isn't even near what I'd judge "good" today. Of course it took less time and effort to come up with those.
Plus, the problems in those times tended to be simpler too. I was so proud I could burst when I wrote a program over 10,000 lines long. But just as I was turning 30 I was writing code for a program 1,000,000 lines long. (Not alone, obviously.) And that's not even among the largest out there. But already the kind of write-only hacks that worked for a 10,000 line program that I could hold completely in my head and know exactly what line to fix if something broke, would have been unmaintainable in a 1,000,000 line program. Both were, for their time, full of "good solutions", but the latter also had to include a lot of design and refactoring and patterns to just be able to find our own arse with a map and a compass when it came to changing something. Now you could no longer do that "good solution" in 10 minutes by just splattering it wherever in the code, and topping it off with a "goto" to boot. Now you had to also think about how it fits in the framework.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.
How is this claim about UFOs/aliens any different, reality-wise, than the millions of people around teh world who actually believe that a Jew thousands of years ago raised himself from the dead, or that Moses made the sea split so he could travel across it, or that Jacob wrestled with an angel?
Well, one is happening all the time right now, and the other is a two-thousand year old piece of propaganda used to manipulate the masses.
-Further, one explains the other; those who have properly researched the subject also recognize that there is a very distinct possibility that the whole Christ mythos was generated by aliens in the first place precisely to put the world where it is today. Divide, conquer, set up and knock down. The whole 'apocalypse' thing is wonderfully useful to sculpt awareness. All some asshole alien has to do is show up in a glowing halo and the world is easy pickings.
Why don't people research this stuff? There is SO much excellent information out there, and most people around here like to read. I wish people wouldn't judge until they read the source material to know they are talking about. For starters, read Richard Dolan.
Though, it's always possible that this Russian may be another, "Fake Moon Landing"; stand up, make a claim, and then be proven certifiably crazy so as to deep-six the whole subject for the on-the-fencers. It's very sad how social engineering works so damned well. When Walmart was deciding where to build, a LOT of people in my town signed a petition to try to persuade them to build the monstrosity on our fine pastures. Not to send them away, but to bring them here!
The sad fact of the matter is that most people are ignorant livestock too cowardly to do anything about the fact. Like exercising a bit of independence and exploring taboo subjects in earnest. Most just don't have the gonads for that kind of thing.
-FL
Cant be true... In soviet Russia, aliens are abducted by YOU!
Well, it’s always the wizard alien. Didn’t you know?
Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
I just wanna know, did the aliens force him to watch pwan to see how, and if, he would bash his bishop?
.
- aqk
F U
So far, in this thread, no one has even suggested the
possibility that the nefarious TIMECUBE may be involved here!
This would pretty well explain some of these puzzling goings-on, don't you think?
.
- aqk
F U
Kasparov is batshit-crazy. For one thing, he is an ardent and outspoken supporter of Fomenko's "New Chronology" - go ahead, read what's at that link, and tell me if a sane person can believe this.
Um, the conventional understanding of human history IS completely screwed up. But to know that, you'd actually have to invest some time researching the issue. -One of the biggest problems is that during many formative periods, historians were hopelessly inured with their religious faiths and liberally used the method of, "If the puzzle piece doesn't fit, just use a hammer". Egyptology, for example, is a total mess of single events told over and over to fluff out long periods, along with the outright manufacture of entire swaths of data to make Christians and Jews happy.
Also, radiological dating is indeed filled with flaws. That's not crazy at all. To think that atmospheric carbon distribution has always been constant is idiotic. While the masses are generally too ignorant to understand this, technicians working in carbon dating labs are not and they have to make approximate guesses at what local carbon levels were like at the time of death in the object or plant they are trying to date. Any ten-year old should be able to spot the flaw in that logic.
Seriously, batshit crazy isn't thinking there's something screwed up with textbook history. Batshit crazy is pretending that the Sphinx was never rained on.
-FL
Not just the original insane abduction claim, but the fact that other people are seriously worried that he has compromised national security.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
Ouch. I crossed a couple of lines in my previous post and I owe you an apology.
Sorry! My understanding of the problems regarding carbon dating was broken in a couple of spots, and this back & forth with you brought that ignorance into the light. I felt like an idiot about ten minutes after posting the above and it took me several days to come back here and own up to the fact. LAME!
Basically, while the relativity issue among artifacts being dated does lead to some inaccuracies, the really big problem in Carbon dating lies in the magnetic shifts in the Earth's field and the effects this has upon Carbon 14 quantities created in the atmosphere. This has the power to throw off the dating by a huge amount.
Cheers, and sorry once again for being an over-zealous ass. You're still wrong in your main point, but I wasn't entirely right nor was I playing fair. I allowed emotion to get the better of me.
Do keep at it. You're clearly a thinker, and there are too few of those around here. You just need better intel.
-FL