Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Knuth Plans 'Earthshaking Announcement' Wednesday

Posted by kdawson on from the perhaps-metafont-ported-to dept.

I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "Donald Knuth is planning to make an 'earthshaking announcement' on Wednesday, at TeX's 32nd Anniversary Celebration, on the final day of the TUG 2010 Conference. Unfortunately, nobody seems to know what it is. So far speculation ranges from proving P!=NP, to a new volume of The Art of Computer Programming, to his retirement. Maybe Duke Nukem Forever has been ported to MMIX?" Let the speculation begin.

31 of 701 comments (clear)

  1. Who? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Who is Knuth?

    1. Re:Who? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Get out.

    2. Re:Who? by Snarf+You · · Score: 5, Funny

      You must be Knuth here.

    3. Re:Who? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, seriously - I've been working as a software engineer (...)

      Ah, you are forgiven, then. You don't actually need to know anything about programming.

    4. Re:Who? by theshowmecanuck · · Score: 5, Funny

      I talked to a guy in Saint Louis once who was a genetic engineer for Monsanto. He didn't believe in evolution.

      --
      -- I ignore anonymous replies to my comments and postings.
    5. Re:Who? by lgw · · Score: 4, Funny

      really? i'm a delivery driver and i know who all the people listed in this post are. i don't think i've heard of donald knuth though.

      He invented the "shift" key. You might want to look it up.

      --
      Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
    6. Re:Who? by muckracer · · Score: 5, Funny

      > Who is Knuth?

      Some polar bear in a german zoo. People already go crazy when he doesn't speak, so yeah...imagine the earth-shakiness when he finally does!

    7. Re:Who? by JustOK · · Score: 5, Funny

      u can't handle the Knuth.

      --
      rewriting history since 2109
    8. Re:Who? by StuartHankins · · Score: 4, Funny

      Or, for an analogy that most Slashdotters will understand... It's like being in porn and not knowing who Ron Jeremy or Jenna Jameson is.

    9. Re:Who? by shutdown+-p+now · · Score: 5, Funny

      I talked to a guy in Saint Louis once who was a genetic engineer for Monsanto. He didn't believe in evolution.

      Well, duh. You ask a guy who does "intelligent design" for a living whether he believes in evolution. ~

    10. Re:Who? by bronney · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'd finish half the distance of the previous step with each new step to avoid the end.

    11. Re:Who? by Dystopian+Rebel · · Score: 4, Funny

      Knuth doesn't stand out amongst his peers in his field as much as those examples you've mentioned. Peers such as Siffredi, North, Holmes (etc) are all more important.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornographic_actor

      (Disclaimer: I know who Knuth is but I'm just not bothered by those that don't when there's so much porn to watch.)

      --
      Rich And Stupid is not so bad as Working For Rich And Stupid.
    12. Re:Who? by Chrisq · · Score: 4, Funny

      Pope and the Catholic church has no problem with evolution

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_Church_and_evolution

      Well they do call him the primate.

    13. Re:Who? by KovaaK · · Score: 4, Funny

      As long as your initial step takes over half the distance of the pier, we have a deal.

  2. Hmmm... by Jimbob+The+Mighty · · Score: 5, Funny

    Probably that Duke Nukem Forever won't be running any dedicated servers...

    1. Re:Hmmm... by should_be_linear · · Score: 4, Funny

      My guess: Travelling Salesman died.

      --
      839*929
  3. What I would do... by PmanAce · · Score: 5, Funny
    Step #1: Wait for him to prove and confirm P!=NP

    Step #2: Solve for N:

    So P!=NP,

    therefore P!/P=N,

    thus the Ps cancel and we are left with N=!.

    Step #3: ???

    Step #4: Profit!

    --
    Tired of my customary (Score:1)
  4. I'll bet it's that by Xenophore · · Score: 5, Funny

    TeX has been adopted by W3 as the new HTML 6 standard.

    1. Re:I'll bet it's that by haystor · · Score: 5, Funny

      \begin{awesome}

      Awesome!

      \end{awesome}

      --
      t
  5. TeX by pwnies · · Score: 5, Funny

    TeX 3.15 will get released. Subsequently, the universe will collapse.

    1. Re:TeX by FoolishOwl · · Score: 4, Funny

      In the new universe, trigonometry will be easier, and equations will always look good in print.

  6. In surprising move ... by vbraga · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... Knuth migrated to Word 2010.

    --
    English is not my first language. Corrections and suggestions are welcome.
  7. Re:I speculate... by JWSmythe · · Score: 4, Funny

        I speculate it'll be something as earth shattering as the "it" announcement was, or how every person has a Segway in their home now.

    --
    Serious? Seriousness is well above my pay grade.
  8. But he has a deal with the Laundry by JoshuaZ · · Score: 4, Funny

    He has a deal with the mysterious British agency known as the Laundry. He doesn't publish the fourth volume and they don't render him metabolically inactive. Don't any of you pay attention to what Charlie Stross has to say?

  9. Earthshaking? by Arancaytar · · Score: 4, Funny

    If the boobs didn't do it, a mathematical proof won't either. :P

  10. No, no, no . . . by DowdyGoat · · Score: 5, Funny

    He's obviously figured out an algorithm to predict earthquakes, and he's determined that one will happen during or just after his presentation! And, of course, he'll announce it.

    You need to think more literally!

  11. The announcement by kaoshin · · Score: 5, Funny

    My name is Donald Knuth. And if you study with my 8 week program, you will learn a system of self defense that I developed over two seasons of fighting in the octagon! Its called Don Kwan Do!

  12. The irony will be... by RyuuzakiTetsuya · · Score: 5, Funny

    He proves P != NP.

    Due to limitations with TeX can't be bothered to fit it into the margins

    --
    Non impediti ratione cogitationus.
  13. It's a new book by xiox · · Score: 5, Funny

    Here it is

  14. Re:--- Flamewar starts here by TheVelvetFlamebait · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's Claude, you insensitive claud.

    --
    You know, there is a difference between trolling and pointing out the flaws in your reasoning. Just saying.
  15. Re:--- Flamewar starts here by Reverend528 · · Score: 4, Funny

    around the same level of recognition as Dijkstra, I would say.

    Bah. Knuth wrote volumes of books full of algorithms. I can't think of a single algorithm that Dijkstra ever came up with.

    --
    Badass Resumes