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Why You Never Ask the Designers For a Favor
Usually there is nothing funny about a missing pet, but the tale of Missy the lost cat is hilarious. It serves as an example of just how clueless your fellow employees can be, and why you should never ask the designers to drop what they're doing, and help with a personal matter.
I think this might be the original - why not start there? There are some other articles that are funny as well.
http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html
Why did you post this link to a bunch of stolen content?
The original source is 27bslash6.com, which is David Thorne's website. Which is awesome.
Gonzo Granzeau
"Nothing the god of biomechanics wouldn't let you into heaven for.." -Roy Batty
While that is decidedly fake, it's also an excellent example of someone being a complete fucking dick.
Captcha: ethical.
Look at his first reply, about the cat possibly being lying injured somewhere - what a pointlessy cruel and horrible thing to say. The owner of the cat is most likely upset enough without this moron winding her up with a comment along the lines of "oh hahaha isn't it funny, your cat is probably lying hurt and needing help lol". No, it's not funny.
I get the idea that he's trying to hit back at people trying to "waste his time" by asking him to do freebies. So, why did he waste over a day tormenting the owner of the missing cat?
What a noxious little prick.
Speaking of which, check out this awesome All Your Base Flash video!
Things they have in common: I've seen them both before Slashdot enlightened me...
"This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old."
Cats don't answer to names.
Despite being incredibly funny (to the point of an uncomfortably loud outburst in an otherwise quiet office) I have to think that those two would make quite the couple. She didn't seem to badger the designer about the poster, she sent just one brief email that he could have ignored as easily as he no doubt ignores all the others. Although it was a project that would take a complete amateur no more than 5 minutes to perfect in MS Word, and a "pro" probably 10 minutes out of insistence on plodding through Frame Maker or Illustrator to achieve the same thing, the designer is understandably upset that his workload is going up. Good thing he decided to carry out 5 design projects, all off-spec, in order to spite her for asking for one very simple thing.
Those two should hook up already.
While I am guessing that this exchange is made up... it is a good illustration of why I someday hope to get out of the computer industry. While I love the work, I have encountered way to many people like this fictional designer that relish the fact that they are in a sufficient position of power to be asshats to those around them. I know the basic behavior is pretty universal, but it seems to be worst in technical fields..
Sorry but his replies were priceless.
People who are taking this seriously - Do you really believe that someone snowed under with work would spend so long composing email responses, or spend so much of his time putting together silly posters?
Do you really think that the woman asking wouldn't have got the hint and done it herself? Or even if she didn't, she might have talked to someone else who would have explained things?
Or a magic marker, whiteout, or a strip of clean white paper. But hey, some people are really that dumb.
Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
Or if the loss of your pet is that important, and making a poster is so simple, you could do it yourself, perhaps?
you should always follow these three rules of business:
1) Never let a web designer design your web page (or in this case, a designer design your missing cat poster)
2) Never let a developer develop your software
3) Never hire an MBA to run your company
We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I actually had an anesthesiologist ask me for tech support on his XP install while he was sedating my wife as she was delivering my second child. I asked him if I would get free anesthesiology if I gave him free tech support, and he got the hint.
A more professional approach (and one that I have used many times) would be, "here's my business card; why don't you call to set up an appointment?" Or, far more germane to your story (I'm not sure why you allowed this anesthesiologist to continue working on your wife if he had the poor judgement to ask about anything -- ANYTHING -- not medically-related while he was providing acute health care), "right now we're busy taking care of something else, why don't we discuss it at a more appropriate time?"
Either one gets the important message across: I have hired you as a professional, please act accordingly and do your job to the expected standards.
Put my fist through my alarm clock with its ding-dong death inside my ear. - The Blackjacks.
Dont badger people to do your meneal tasks, lesson learned for silly lady.
What a fucking douchebag,
I couldn't agree more. The only thing I find funny about him is knowing people would likely stand in line, in the cold rain, for a chance to punch that idiot in the face.
Now that's funny!
Sorry, but last month called. It wants its old meme back.
Kriston
I assumed that this was fiction based on the kind of things that do happen in real life and then exaggerated to humourous effect. Are we supposed to think this really happened and that the Thorne guy really delights in being so nasty to stupid people? Who in reality would waste so much time on something like this?
http://www.acetonestudio.com
I'm sure this lady had lots of others at her e-mail ready company that gladly would have done it in Word.
A simple "NO" would have saved everyone a lot of grief, and time.
This lady's name and location are online now. Kudos! Now we know what designer not to contract work to. There is a high posibility of "David Thorne" losing job/project offers over employers learning how this designer wastes everyone's time and can be a cynic to people he works with given the chances.
Most are just as easily distracted by donuts.
---
Ozzy should of bitten the head off that other bat, Sharon.
But it is a great example of most graphic designers I know. They have far more free time than they will ever admit. Far, far too much free time. "Meeting a client." is almost always a code phrase for "I'm sorry, but I'm already drunk.".
http://www.27bslash6.com.nyud.net/missy.html
boycott slashdot February 10th - 17th check out: altSlashdot.org
The idiot in the exchange is more likely a smug IT sociopath who fancies himself a "designer" because he's the only wonk in his small dysfunctional company with the cracked copy of Photoshop and the free time on endless weekends home alone to spend learning enough about it not to electrocute himself when scaling a photograph.
He's a mechanic, at best. He clearly lacks the grace to be a legit professional designer.
If he was merely mean that would be the case.
But he was both mean and funny.
Also everyone at every office knows some lazy sod who despite not being the boss wants everyone at their office to work for them rather than with them.
She could have thrown together what she wanted in about 30 seconds in word or paint.
She didn't.
Instead she wanted to use company time, company resources and even wanted to waste the time of other employees on her personal problems.
Everyone knows someone like this.
I'd have no problem with hiring this guy.
I'd know I'm not going to be paying for him to design kids birthdays cards for the office sponge.
so, it is a huge waste of time for an 'artist' to put a few copy/pastes in photoshop, to create a printable poster for a missing cat then. the cat, which may be injured, or needing help, or scared somewhere. an entity which is part of a certain family, and a factor of the love in that family in their own home.
so, apparently, his skill is SO not worthless that, he takes the time to insult and shit about it, like a prickly bastard.
why, but thats precisely what da vinci, michelangelo, monet would do, isnt it ?
i have two elaborate, well accentuated, insightful words full of meaning about his skills :
fuck that
Read radical news here
Wait...you'd be laughing at his attempt to make up a funny story? Wouldn't that be mission accomplished then? As is clearly demonstrated by TFA, there are in fact different kinds of humor, after all.
Speak of the devil. I edited down the copy a co-worker gave me for their lost-cat flyer one lunchtime back in 1999.
Just 3 words in the headline big (a short description of the cat in very very small type) and his phone number. LOOKING FOR PUSSY.
He got 10 angry phone calls in 20 minutes and got the cat in less than an hour - I shit you not. Effective advertising works.
If you lol then humor it would be.
Why is it so hard to only have politicians for a few years, then have them go away?
This is clearly not a real email chain. It is what is known as a 'joke'. Why do all of the commenters take everything so seriously?
Because everyone who posts to /. is an idiot.
Except for me and the beloved Anonymous Coward of course.
It is amazing the amount of time assholes will spend on being assholes. They can be pressed for time to get their work done, yet find plenty of time to be dicks to people since they take pleasure from it.
Now this doesn't mean that this case isn't made up, but I could certainly see it being real. It follows asshole logic (such as it were) perfectly:
--Spend 10 minutes helping you: WASTE of time! How could I waste so much time on something that gets me nothing when I'm so busy!
--Spend 2 hours making your miserable: Great use of time! I derive pleasure from your misery!
You know, I get really annoyed every time someone at my office brings in some old broken POS electronic device from the 80s and asks me to reverse engineer and fix it. I am sure designers get asked to do G-jobs all the time and that it gets similarly annoying.
It's wrong to use company resources for personal gain. It takes less than 5 minutes to tape a photo to a piece of paper and write your message with a sharpie.
I don't understand any of this. Why am I reading this? Can we have more of a set up if you're going to submit a story? Are we just going to start posting blind links now?
No 'milk carton' missing photo?
Or a '404: Missing Cat' poster?
Have gnu, will travel.
Rather than report on the missy one why not report on one of the stories far more relevant to Slashdot (Open Source, discipline without thinking etc.) which is arguably funnier because the teacher is more deserving of the treatment and which is brilliant at the end in that it might have actually reminded the teacher what is really important.
To the very first email his response contains this sentence: "I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
Yes, she was a bit silly to engage with an obvious asshole. I wonder if at some time in the future he has a daughter who is late and not home, and the ultimate irony, she had gone out with her friend, the daughter of Shannon.
"Why yes *my* daughter was home 4 hours ago...perhaps she is lying on the road somewhere...."
In post Patriot Act America, the library books scan you.
If I found out an employee of mine pulled a dick move like that to another employee they would be cleaning their desk out before I finshed yelling at them.
the preceding post was not spell checked... suck it.
Wait...you'd be laughing at his attempt to make up a funny story? Wouldn't that be mission accomplished then? As is clearly demonstrated by TFA, there are in fact different kinds of humor, after all.
I think it's the difference between laughing with him and laughing at him. Getting people to laugh at you is easy.
It's not enough to bash in heads, you've got to bash in minds. - Captain Hammer
Whoever made those posters is a big fat asshole.
Are you kidding?
Not only is he a good designer, but he's amusing as well. I would hire him in a heart beat.
so you can get the gist. Once again, the site is http://www.27bslash6.com/ , I personally like it, but not everyone will, or should.
___________
Riddick
While watching the movie 'Chronicles of Riddick' together last night, my offspring stated that he wished Riddick was his dad. When I asked why, he replied that Riddick is good looking, has muscles and is a good fighter. I told him that I wished Matthew (his arch-enemy at school) was my son because he is better at maths and has cool hair.
___________
One thousand characters
Writing rubbish on the internet amuses me a lot. There is often a limit of 1000 characters per post so every story (including punctuation, spaces, introduction, proposal, argument and punch line) has to be within a small paragraph.
Sometimes I just write nonsense and other times I write something rather insensitive to evoke angry responses.
When I was just fourteen, I was given the task of drowning kittens by my girlfriend's mother. I filled a large laundry sink with room temperature water and held the eight kittens under. As each kitten died and sank to the bottom, it turned and rested 'snuggled' to the previous. I put them in a garbage bag and was carrying it out when the bag moved and I heard a meow. I opened the bag and found one kitten had survived. So I drowned it again.
And that is an exact one thousand.
____________
Also, don't miss the Chatroulette one: http://www.27bslash6.com/chat.html
The Cloud - because you don't care if your apps and data are up in the air.
Why didn't she just tape white rectangle(s) over the "extra" parts when it started getting close? She said she would photo-copy it such that analog "extra's" are not the problem they would be when printing directly.
Table-ized A.I.
and he's giving crap to the office secretary? Time to get off his average sized pony and re-evaluate his relative importance.
There is some truth to the saying that boredom is a prerequisite for creativity. Designers are not paid by the number of pixels drawn, lines coded, calls answered, or cupcakes baked.
a) this is satire. b) this circulated the web about a month ago.