Girl Quits On Dry Erase Board a Hoax

suraj.sun writes "It's the same old story: young woman quits, uses dry erase board and series of pictures to let entire office know the boss is a sexist pig, exposes his love of playing FarmVille during work hours." Story seem too good to be true? It probably is, at least according to writer Peter Kafka. Even so, Jay Leno and Good Morning America have already reached out to "Jenny."

Comments

Old, and fake

[Gruturo]

Nice, story published hours after it was revealed to be a hoax / stunt: http://techcrunch.com/2010/08/11/elyse-porterfield/

Re:Old, and fake

[Slippery Pete]

You are correct:

http://thechive.com/2010/08/11/a-word-from-jenny-16-photos/

Re:Old, and fake

[BKX]

The real question is who didn't immediately know it was fake? I mean, "The Chive"? That soundss aan aweful lot like The Onion to me.

Re:Old, and fake

[gandhi_2]

Well, the part about her being a hot piece of ass are true.

Re:Old, and fake

[Idbar]

Holy! 15 minutes of fame with a hoax! Hot actress from LA name+lastname are very public now. Way to quickly boost your career!

Re:Old, and fake

[elrous0]

Wait a minute, an unemployed aspiring actress in L.A.???? Sounds fishy to me.

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

I posted this story yesterday and it was rejected. Interesting how I get MOST of my story submissions rejected, but later duplicated submissions by other posters get published, even though it is against Slashdot rules to accept duplicate story submissions.

And it's a FAKE story (as posted by the hoaxsters). Too bad for the worthless editorial board at Slashdot.

Oh, and the stories that do get accepted by me get editorialized (i.e. the Slashdot editors only publicly acknowledge that I supplied them with a link, otherwise they completely re-write the submission with their poor English and verbal communication skills). Or maybe I'm just an idiot?

To summarize:
1) breaking (idle) "news" story gets submitted and rejected.
2) next day, hoax is confirmed, and story gets accepted as a (likely) true story.

Oh, and BTW, even though the story was proclaimed to be a hoax, it is actually true, only the names, faces and particular circumstances have changed; the same bullshit actually happens at most workplaces.

- Signed,

AWM (Angry White Man)

Re:Old, and fake

[Seumas]

I am astonished at the number of people who fell for this. It just proves that people have no operational critical thinking skills and just take anything they're fed as the truth. This is just a small example of how they treat more vital things like news of current events. If the AP wrote it or the local news anchor parroted it from a teleprompter, or a government organization released a statement, then it must all be true and taken at face value.

As for this particular incident, it was instantly obvious to everyone with a two digit IQ that it was fake (it didn't last long enough or fool enough people to properly call this an actual hoax).

What gave it away? Well, for one thing, are we supposed to believe that an HPOA like that was actually answering phones and doing some douchebag's dirty work in some great aspiration to be a stock broker? Hardly. In fact, I think my first sarcastic comment moments after this story first popped up in links from people I know was "Like a HPOA like that has to work as anything but a model".

The second give-away is the clearly fake office.

The third give-away is the quality of the photographs and the lighting.

The the second and third elements above, they combine to give you that very strong "reality porn shoot" vibe. You could tell people that these photos are actually from some new OfficeBangBus website and everyone would believe it, because it just has that "fake staged office, professional lighting, pro-sumer camera" look to it.

If the idiots behind this wanted the "hoax" to really succeed, they would have found a real office for her to stand in and snapped shots with a consumer point and click camera in whatever the real life office lighting was.

The most offensive part is that this wasn't even a successful internet hoax. Most people immediately called it out as a fake and it wasn't even more than a few hours before it was proven to be a fake. And yet, nobody gives a fuck and all sorts of media outlets are going to give it coverage. What is there to cover? It's a non-story, other than on a few websites like Slashdot where it actually has some minor relevance. How does this deserve any television play? And what will their angle be? "So, you were a chick that was hired to stand there and be photographed in a failed internet hoax... uh...". I mean, if you were going to talk to ANYONE about it, why would it be the person who was the least involved? It's not like that girl came up with the idea or executed it. She responded to an audition call and stood there holding a whiteboard for a couple hours.

I still believe this is far more than a mere "hoax" attempt. It seems clear to me that the guys behind it WANTED it to be known that it was a hoax as quickly as possible (if they had not admitted it so quickly, it would have dragged on a little longer). It sounds to me like they wanted to create a hoax AND get the attention for having created it all in one fell swoop. Either to get attention for themselves in some sort of "hey, we're a great media agency - hire us to promote your stuff!" attempt. . . . OR they were hired to do this by NBC or someone. Not as a "hoax" but as a "fake hoax" where the attempt wasn't to fool people, but to get everyone to pay attention to the girl so they could then announce that they're giving her a sit-com of her own and she's the star (which was already planned BEFORE the hoax was executed, surely).

It'd be a lot like saying "we're a helium company and to promote our product, we're going to manufacturer an event where a little kid gets stuck in his dad's blimp and floats across the country and is covered live on the news".

Re:Old, and fake

[morari]

Yeah, but she is quite the HPOA.

Re:Old, and fake

[raxhonp]

I totally disagree, she is not too old, but I can't tell from here if they are fake or not.

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

Plus, she's rockin the sexy, pent up aggression-librarian vibe. Rawr.

Re:Old, and fake

[gtall]

Errr...you really don't have a lot to keep you busy, do you?

Re:Old, and fake

[Cougar Town]

Wow. You seriously know how to take just about all the fun out of something that was pretty entertaining. Sometimes you just need to shut the fuck and have a good laugh and realize that it doesn't even matter if it was real or a hoax.

Enjoy life - don't analyze everything to the point that all meaning is lost.

Re:Old, and fake

[Recovery1]

Thanks, Mr. Comic Book Guy.

Re:Old, and fake

[jemtallon]

That's Captain Sweatpants to you!

Re:Old, and fake

[Seumas]

See, this is what I'm talking about. What fun and entertainment was there in a poor attempt at a lame and failed hoax? You're responding like this was some great piece of performance art that has merit or interest even when it fails. It's nothing of the sort. Sorry I didn't approach a lame attempt at a hoax with some sort of child-like wonder and glee.

And please do inform me as to what enlightened "meaning" I missed out on by not being reeled in by these lame-ass self-promoters?

Your comments seem very misplaced applied to such a shallow story as this one. You could almost apply them to that miserable "lonelygirl15" phenomenon from a few years ago, but certainly not to an afternoon-long flash in the pan like this.

Re:Old, and fake

[Gilmoure]

All the world's a stage and all that?

Re:Old, and fake

[eln]

I mean, if you were going to talk to ANYONE about it, why would it be the person who was the least involved? It's not like that girl came up with the idea or executed it.

Because she's hot and would look good on TV, and therefore more people would watch. Nobody wants to see a couple of nerds talk about their hoax, but lots of people want to see a hot girl talk about just about anything.

I think you're right about the guys doing this primarily to get attention, but most things people post on the Internet are there to get attention. Even if someone never reveals who they are, the purpose of putting almost anything on the Internet is so that people will see it, giving the poster some measure of validation, even if they never actually reveal their true identities.

The idea of it being manufactured so NBC could give some unknown actress her own sitcom is a little too loopy for me to take seriously, though.

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

I still want to choke her for those stupid facial expressions.

Re:Old, and fake

[TrisexualPuppy]

She likes being choked. Believe me.

Re:Old, and fake

[E-Rock]

See, I thought it was funny and didn't think about it again. Whether it was true or not didn't really matter. Still doesn't today.

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

Says the other guy idling around on Slashdot in the middle of the day.

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

You are mistaken. Have you been to LA? I'm sure she's nice and fun, but sort of average. Any young woman can be 'beautiful.' Any freshman college class is filled with girls like this. I'm beginning to think my theories about fame are a bit off... less to do with what you look like and more to do with how many people like you.

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

Holy! 15 minutes of fame with a hoax! Hot actress from LA name+lastname are very public now.

Way to quickly boost your career!

That's the intention, but it's not how it works. The reality is that she just typecast herself as an internet actress, and guaranteed she will never get to do anything in hollywood save for an interview at talk shows while the 15 minutes of fame last.

Re:Old, and fake

[Cougar Town]

Maybe there was no fun and entertainment for you, and that's totally cool. Not everyone has the same sense of humour. I expect that there are things you find greatly entertaining or funny that I wouldn't at all.

I saw it, chuckled because I found it amusing, and moved on. When I saw the amount of effort you'd put into your rant, I just had to say "hey, lighten up a bit, don't take life so seriously."

You seem quite religiously dead-set against this thing, even moreso now... and I find that entertaining too :)

Re:Old, and fake

[Cougar Town]

Nah, it's just with all the bullshit in the world, I find it hard to not take something like this lightly, laugh, and move on. Since at best it was amusing, and at worst it didn't really have any negative effects... except maybe on Seumas :)

Re:Old, and fake

[Attila Dimedici]

See, I thought it was funny and didn't think about it again. Whether it was true or not didn't really matter. Still doesn't today.

I wish I had mod points, because that sums up my thinking about it as well. I remember thinking, "That is a really foolish thing to do that would make it hard to find another job, I wonder if it is true." Then I deleted the email and moved on with my life.

Re:Old, and fake

[spamking]

[crazy Britney Spears Fan] Leave Seumas alone! [/crazy Britney Spears Fan]

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

She could be insta-hired as a porno actress now!

So hurry up porn industry, I'm getting blue balls over here!

Re:Old, and fake

[Dexter Herbivore]

This got modded informative???? ARE YOU BLIND, PEOPLE!

Re:Old, and fake

[PCM2]

Wait. So because there are lots of beautiful girls in LA, this girl is not good looking? Must be pretty harsh living in your world if you can't be attracted to anyone but the best-looking girl in the room.

Re:Old, and fake

[GameboyRMH]

I want to do other things to her for those cute facial expressions.

Re:Old, and fake

[ConceptJunkie]

The idea of it being manufactured so NBC could give some unknown actress her own sitcom is a little too loopy for me to take seriously, though.

You haven't watched TV in a long time, have you?

Re:Old, and fake

[fishbowl]

I think his point is rather that in some places, being "merely attractive" or "merely talented" aren't enough to ensure career prospects. It's not about obsession with superlatives, but more of a signal-to-noise problem.

In Sweden you don't stand out for being six feet tall and blonde. In Russia, your 1700 chess rating means you sometimes win casual games.

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

In Sweden you don't stand out for being six feet tall and blonde. In Russia, your 1700 chess rating means you sometimes win casual games.

Yeah, but I wouldn't have to lean down to kiss a six foot tall Swedish blonde (they're mostly shorter than that BTW, and not all blonde; you're probably thinking of the Dutch) and a Russian with a 1700 rating could beat me every time.

ghandi_2 distinctly said he agreed Jenny DryErase was a HPOA, and the AC distinctly said "you are mistaken" because she's "sort of average." I'd love to see what the AC's girlfriend looks like. But more I suspect his experience of women is probably limited to what he sees on TV and in movies.

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

thx, that was indeed my point. In LA, not just the actresses and models are good looking... and it's kind of disturbing once one rolls their tongue back into their mouth... you realize most women out there could be supermodels. And yes, when 8 out of 10 women out there are a solid 10 (when presented correctly), the 7's, 8's or 9's are pedestrian.

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

I think the hoax was a hoax... there's more to this.

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

Not too picky, eh?

Re:Old, and fake

[commodore64_love]

I have no idea what a Chive is. I fell for it, because the "fake boss" reminded me of the my last two idiot bosses. So it was believable in my mind. Plus I'd just seen the story about the airport guy quitting by sliding out of the plane. So it just felt like more of the usual whackiness.

The one thing I was suspicious of was the photo where the sign is hanging in midair without support. But I just figured there must be somebody else helping her, like a coworker or boyfriend.

As for making signs, that didn't seem that unusual. I've done all kinds of things on my jobs, especially on weekends:

- Use the free internet (back before I had DSL at home)
- Watch Sci-Fi Friday evening (because I don't have it).
- Borrow friend's dreamcast and play on big-screen conference room TV
- Sleep
- Watch NASCAR Race- Wander around on a Sunday, looking at all the hot daughters' photos (the bikini ones are best)

Basically I could easily imagine myself doing something like this "photo quit" routine. Do it on a Sunday when nobody's around, pack up my desk, email it, and never return. That doesn't seem far-fetched at all.

.

Re:Old, and fake

[commodore64_love]

P.S.

For the humor-impaired, the last one was a joke. ;-)

Re:Old, and fake

[cp.tar]

I think his point is rather that in some places, being "merely attractive" or "merely talented" aren't enough to ensure career prospects. It's not about obsession with superlatives, but more of a signal-to-noise problem.

In Sweden you don't stand out for being six feet tall and blonde. In Russia, your 1700 chess rating means you sometimes win casual games.

Signal-to-noise ratio in LA must be pretty fucked up. Until Mad Men, Christina Hendricks was pretty much unknown and invisible. I mean, WTF?

Re:Old, and fake

[Anonymous Coward]

You are correct. The hoax is a hoax. It's some kind of message to someone who probably won't hear or understand, probably someone in a lot of pain that is known to read slashdot. ("I quit," is the first part of it, I'm sure) The hidden message is truly undeciferable, because the key is something shared between them, and theres no way to know what that is... but when two people become so fucked up that the only way they can communicate is through weird and extremely high level correspondence, one of them is bound to have completely closed off to subtleties (obviously not her), and, you know... only answers emails and the phone, and, you know, not morse code blinked out in some meme.

Re:Old, and fake

[PCM2]

Point. Fuckin. Taken.

Fake

[Swanktastic]

This is known to be fake.

Re:Fake

[IBBoard]

Why let the fact that it is fake stop it being promoted as the truth on Slashdot? ;)

Re:Fake

[Anonymous Coward]

But my erection is real, so who cares?

Re:Fake

[underqualified]

i'm surprised it's not from kdawson

Re:Fake

[roman_mir]

No, your erection is also a hoax.

Re:Fake

[Speedcraver]

Yes, but I can't wait to see her on Tosh.0 in a few weeks. That may make it worth it, fake or not!

Re:Fake

[Anonymous Coward]

There was a time when it wasn't this way, but samzenpus is the "new" kdawson. You could probably tell samzenpus to eat a bowl of boogers, and he would do it after telling you that it's gross. He's just that stupid.

Re:Fake

[IBBoard]

I'm surprised that "theChive.com" didn't give it away as being somewhat similar to TheOnion - that well know source of entirely truthful reports - and so probably not a trustworthy source of much!

Re:Fake

[Anonymous Coward]

It is also known to not be interesting, even if it was real.

Re:Fake

[AltairDusk]

This is one of the few times on /. where I DON'T want to see any sources for that one way or the other...

Re:Fake

[mlush]

This is known to be fake.

But the headline says its a Hoax.... do you mean its a fake hoax?

Re:Fake

[blueZ3]

Reminds me of the dumbest guy in the office back when I was working in a drafting shop. The draftsmen were always playing tricks on each other and setting up Rube Goldberg-type booby traps. One of the guys was clearly not the sharpest stick in the bundle so on a day we knew he'd be the last one back from lunch we hung a cup filled with confetti from the ceiling with a string attached to a sign that said "Pull me." He did.

I think he's now a /. editor.

Re:Fake

[ArcadeNut]

Your post is fake? Looks pretty real to me!

Re:Fake

[geoskd]

Why let the fact that it is fake stop it being promoted as the truth on Slashdot? ;)

Because it doesn't have a liberal or Apple bias anywhere in it.

-=Geoskd

Re:Fake

[Sulphur]

Kafka, Peter Kafka.

Not K'Dawsonesque.

Fake Scripted.

[Anonymous Coward]

Come on /. this is so obviously fake...

Already admitted to be fake

[Anonymous Coward]

All's well, except she already admitted it to be fake:

http://thechive.com/2010/08/11/a-word-from-jenny-16-photos/

Time to head to home depot...

[Drakkenmensch]

That whiteboard is surprisingly clean, no smudges, no ghost lines of previous half-erased messages. Even the marker lines themselves are so clean you could swear they were drawn in mspaint rather than with an old dying black marker. But there's no way the internet would ever publish a HOAX, is there?

Re:Time to head to home depot...

[JWSmythe]

I wouldn't think that the whiteboard itself is a hoax. Folks occasionally use a new whiteboard, and new marker. It happens once in the life of a whiteboard. :)

    Smudges on whiteboards are frequently from "ink" that has dried on. It wipes off fine not long after you put it on, but not so great months later. I've had boards where particular notes were written months or years before, and when that information finally does change, it doesn't come off gracefully. But that's why they have whiteboard cleaner (isopropyl alcohol) and paper towels.

    I guess what is worse is when someone thinks they're using a dry erase marker, and they use a permanent one instead. Try taking *that* off years later. Carburetor or brake cleaner is just about the only thing that'll make a dent in it.

    Looking at the photos, it was obvious that there was a problem with it. Thankfully she did admit it, or this would be a long running argument.

    Unfortunately, I'm sure I'll be getting this in as chain letters for years to come. {sigh} Isn't there already enough crap floating around that places like Snopes have to say "no, it's still not real."?

Re:Time to head to home depot...

[thegarbz]

Wait what? Someone has gone to the effort of taking all these individual pictures and poses, and you think they had the patience to screw around with paint / photoshop to draw the lines on the board? People on the whole a lazy. That alone should give you an indication that the pictures are real.

That said the rest of the story is a hoax. The only people this was emailed to is half the internet via the usual spam chain mail.

Re:Time to head to home depot...

[Drakkenmensch]

Wait what? Someone has gone to the effort of taking all these individual pictures and poses, and you think they had the patience to screw around with paint / photoshop to draw the lines on the board? People on the whole a lazy. That alone should give you an indication that the pictures are real.

I'm thinking some ad company took the pictures of a model with an empty whiteboard as a template for ads where they could write whatever discount of the week they planned on advertizing later. Then someone got a hold of these after seeing the Jet Blue quitting story and thought "hey, quitting stories are hot right now, let's make up a story of our own!"

Re:Time to head to home depot...

[Devout_IPUite]

I had a white board at my office that looked perfect a year after I got it. Because I never let ink stay on for more than about 48 hours.

Re:Time to head to home depot...

[JayJay.br]

Unfortunately, I'm sure I'll be getting this in as chain letters for years to come.

What are these "letters" you talk about? Is this some new social network, or a new kind of e-mail?

(Yeah I know, off-topic, mod me down to hell, I can burn some...)

Re:Time to head to home depot...

[beelsebob]

Just for future reference for you – the difference between permanent marker and dry wipe pen is that the dry wipe pens have a solvent in them to disolve the previous "ink". You can easily clean off permanent marker simply by drawing over it with dry wipe pen and immediately rubbing it out.

Re:Time to head to home depot...

[Red Flayer]

You can easily clean off permanent marker simply by drawing over it with dry wipe pen and immediately rubbing it out.

Yes, but that leaves an entirely new type of stain. :(

Re:Time to head to home depot...

[Anonymous Coward]

I guess what is worse is when someone thinks they're using a dry erase marker, and they use a permanent one instead. Try taking *that* off years later. Carburetor or brake cleaner is just about the only thing that'll make a dent in it.

Lysol will take it RIGHT off.

Re:Time to head to home depot...

[Glonoinha]

Use cheap vodka to clean whiteboards.
It does a better job, is a lot cheaper, and doesn't leave the entire room choking on the incredibly nasty fumes like commercial whiteboard cleaner.

Just put it in a regular spray bottle and don't tell anybody what it is - works like a champ. I haven't tried it on permanent marker, but I have a feeling it might just work...

Re:Time to head to home depot...

[SpaceCadets]

Off topic, but I've found to get rid of 'permanant' or permanant markings is to write over it with whiteboard marker, and it comes off easy as. Might only work in Australia though :P.

Hoax!

[Anonymous Coward]

Way to post this after it's already been called a hoax.

"Story seem too good to be true? Well it probably is[...]" - uh no...it IS too good to be true.

She's an actress

[HangingChad]

But still an HPOA.

Re:She's an actress

[RenHoek]

[scruffy]Second[/scruffy]

Re:She's an actress

[Anonymous Coward]

The headline should read: HOPA Quits On Dry Erase Board, Emails Entire Office

Re:She's an actress

[Anonymous Coward]

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3462/3347447337_7cf8a6e171.jpg

Re:She's an actress

[Anonymous Coward]

Hot Piece of Actress...

Re:She's an actress

[oodaloop]

Or was it HOPA? I'm confused.

Re:She's an actress

[HangingChad]

Hot Piece Of Ass. Aka tart, trollop, strumpet, floozy or hussy.

Re:She's an actress

[oodaloop]

And her board said HOPA first. Then switched later to HPOA.

Leno? Who cares about him

[Anonymous Coward]

Leno is a short insecure chin-knife. Nobody cares about him, not even his mother.

As Teal'c would say

[PmanAce]

Indeed.

I got hooked

[krzysz00]

When this story was in the submission bin I read it and fell for it. WHo knew it was fake?

Re:I got hooked

[Anonymous Coward]

If you fell for it, that simply means that your powers of observation are extremely poor. Just browsing through the first 5 images should be enough to indicate how fake it is.

Re:I got hooked

[hedwards]

Eh, not necessarily, I basically did something similar to that when I walked out of my job a while back. I wasn't about to get myself killed because the manager was a corrupt, dangerously incompetent prick with no relevant knowledge and a general jackass psychopath. Most of what I've read indicating it's a hoax, other than the admission, is pretty much bullshit. If you're that angry about a work site this sequence of images is hardly that implausible. A new whiteboard that size isn't really that expensive and at some point quitting in a spectacular way becomes worth it.

Re:I got hooked

[PRMan]

First I'm hearing of it, but it's obviously faked. The poses are too staged for somebody upset with a job enough to be quitting. The emotional reactions are all wrong.

Re:I got hooked

[Abstrackt]

... and at some point quitting in a spectacular way becomes worth it.

No matter how much you hate your job you should never burn a bridge. Even if you hate the job with every fiber of your being and it goes against all your morals you should still try to quit on the best terms possible because there is always a chance how you handled yourself in that situation will come back to you. You don't have to be friends with everyone when you walk out the door but you need to take the emotion out of it. Just say you can't handle the work and be ready to explain why at your next interview.

A few years ago we had someone "quit" (get fired) in a spectacular fashion. At no point did my boss say a single bad word about the person, even during the incident or well after he had left, but word still got around that he fired him. Several months later this person applied for a job at a completely different company where the owner happened to know my boss and he wouldn't hire the guy just on the fact that my boss had fired him because he must have done something bad and this guy didn't want to find out what.

Re:I got hooked

[Seumas]

And did someone photograph you doing that, using a high quality prosumer camera and professional lighting work in a clearly staged office environment? And do you look like a super model who spends her days going to auditions rather than answering phones and dealing with a douchey boss?

Re:I got hooked

[russotto]

Yeah, the production values are obviously too good, as anyone who has tried to get even lighting off a whiteboard can attest. But the staged office environments exist in real life; lawyers, in particular, often have an office for show. And bosses with show offices are likely the same types to hire HOPAs as assistants.

Whaa?

[Skellbasher]

Slashdot isn't always the most timely place to see things, but it's usually at least accurate. Too bad this made it through today.

Of course it's a hoax

[Anonymous Coward]

Who could spend 5.3 hours/week on TechCrunchy? That wouldn't leave enough time for /.

The flight attendant story is much better...

[MrFurious5150]

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/10/nyregion/10attendant.html?_r=1&src=me&ref=homepage

The jetblue guy did a better job then this!

[Joe The Dragon]

The jetblue guy did a better job then this!

Re:The jetblue guy did a better job then this!

[Anonymous Coward]

THAN this. FFS.

Re:The jetblue guy did a better job then this!

[OhHellWithIt]

I was thinking something along the same line.

Re:The jetblue guy did a better job then this!

[Anonymous Coward]

No, no, the JetBlue guy not only did a better job, but he THEN went on to do this too. HPOA is JetBlue Guy. The hoax is to advertise sex change operations.

Re:The jetblue guy did a better job then this!

[hey!]

It was grabbing the beer on the way out that was the stroke of genius.

Re:The jetblue guy did a better job then this!

[PCM2]

It was grabbing the beer on the way out that was the stroke of genius.

That, and when the cops came to his house to arrest him he was allegedly "engaged in sexual activities."

As a friend said yesterday, I like to think that he was yelling, "Fuuuuuccckk youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" on the way down the slide, beer in hand.

Re:The jetblue guy did a better job then this!

[hey!]

Yes. It appears he had a sudden stroke of Priorities.

I would have fired her too

[iamhassi]

I would have fired her too because she doesn't know english: You can't combine "Being your assistant has been" as "Being your assistant's been"

--The Grammer Nazi

Re:I would have fired her too

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes you can you idiot.

Re:I would have fired her too

[darkitecture]

G-R-A-M-M-A-R

grammar

--The Spelling Nazi

Re:I would have fired her too

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm sure you are a big fan of "America's got talent".

Re:I would have fired her too

[andrewd18]

I would have fired you because you don't know English. Grammar is spelled with an A. Also, your signature is missing proper capitalization and punctuation.

-- The Spelling Nazi

Re:I would have fired her too

[pinkushun]

Grammar does goes wonky around pretty girls

Re:I would have fired her too

[xwizbt]

You can; it's clumsy but it's quite correct, in the same way that it's is a perfectly acceptable contraction of 'it has'.

Re:I would have fired her too

[iamhassi]

dam u spelin' nazi!!

-- The Grammaer Nazi

Re:I would have fired her too

[quitte]

Could someone please come up with sources?
I looked it up in my school's grammar book and wikipedia. Both explicitly allow the combination of pronouns with contracted auxiliary verbs. But neither forbid the use of contracted auxiliary verbs with real nouns.
I'm not a native speaker - but it definately doesn't sound clumsy to me. And this obviously is a situation where informal use of a language is quite appropriate.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraction_(grammar)#English

Re:I would have fired her too

[Anonymous Coward]

Here here, cetacean needed!

Re:I would have fired her too

[iamhassi]

"You can; it's clumsy but it's quite correct, in the same way that it's is a perfectly acceptable contraction of 'it has'."

No. Assistant's is possessive, like "this is the assistant's pen".

Re:I would have fired her too

[xwizbt]

Actually, that's why I said it's clumsy. If you want to browse through Earnest Gowers' 'The Complete Plain Words' you'll find he's quite unworried about the use of apostrophes for contractions, and goes so far as to only list three cases where one needs to worry unduly about apostrophes. He does, however, go to great pains to explain that the whole point of writing is to communicate without ambiguity, and in the case quoted above there's clearly ambiguity - is it an unconventional contraction of 'assistant has' or is it a possessive apostrophe? Both acceptable, but arguably ambiguous, hence my opinion of it as clumsy.

You wouldn't happen to have a Strunk and White handy, would you? My own library only extends as far as Sir Earnest Gowers on the grammatical front, and it would be interesting to see what an American guide has to say on the matter.

Re:I would have fired her too

[Anonymous Coward]

The assistant's going to the bar. (is)
The assistant's bar is big. (possessive)
The assistant's been to the bar. (has)

All are correct.

Re:I would have fired her too

[GameboyRMH]

Right you is.

Re:I would have fired her too

[iamhassi]

**citation needed

Re:I would have fired her too

[Anonymous Coward]

You claimed that since assistant's is used for possessive that it can't be used for assistant has. I showed that it is (correctly) used for assistant is, so your argument doesn't work.

This kind of stuff

[jewishbaconzombies]

Is just making it harder for anyone to believe that my penis can sing Lady GaGa tunes.

I was going to post it on YouTube but now everyone will just think it's fake. Goddamn internet.

Re:This kind of stuff

[Miseph]

If it makes you feel better: I have no problem believing that your penis super-duper-fabulously gay, and I congratulate you on having the courage to tell everyone about it... it takes a big, burly, hairy, leather-clad man to tell the world something that personal and socially stigmatized.

You're welcome.

"Probably"?

[frist]

Probably too good to be true?

thechive is just a tracker whore site

[Anonymous Coward]

Fire up fiddler on that page and all will be revealed; I counted no less than 180 separate tracker requests. This was my first and last time I visit that site.

bleh

[kenp2002]

Just another piece of meat trying to get by on nothing but looks. Tired of pretty parasites, try being productive rather then a just another HPOA. You are a dime a dozen on the Internet, way to march towards being furniture (see Soylent Green for reference).

American women have become nothing but pop-tart wanna-be divas who's only asset appears to be their ass. They bitch about being treated like objects but these attention whores are the two steps backwards for progress. Can't stand them anymore. Hope it doesn't bleed into Canada.

"I'd rather be pretty for a living rather then contribute something to the world." A nice view doesn't cut it as a contribution. Shit even Barbie the Doll has been a doctor, lawyer, fire fighter, but oddly there isn't a HOPA edition. What the hell is wrong with people. No one wants to work hard and earn anything in life anymore.

Never thought I'd see a generation of women who's goal in life is "I want to be a Trophy Wife when I grow up then get dumped and replaced by my wealthy husband for a younger trophy wife..."

In all that the human condition offers, in all the experiences out there, her aspiration is Playboy? What a wasted life...

An entitled mindset + shallow values + looks obsessed society = What? I don't know but does that look like a recipe for success?

I'm glad I am married, I sure as hell have no interest in fame obsessed, looks obsessed, trash.

Maybe I am an old curmudgeon. But by God I want more 'women' and less 'chicks' please....

Re:bleh

[swb]

I think you're mostly right but I also think you're arguing against human nature at the same time.

It's in a woman's nature to want to be physically attractive, to compete against other women to be "most" attractive -- this has been going on far longer than just our very recent contemporary mass-media society and represents part of the biological imperative for reproduction.

That being said, I think deliberate sexual manipulation by women is kind of pathetic and usually very short-sighted; a hot piece of ass is like cut flowers -- it has a very short shelf life and after the bloom fades they usually end up in the trash.

It would do men good to not allow themselves to be so easily manipulated by it, too, but I think men's inability to control themselves is largely what's behind repressive social rules and laws that hinder women.

Re:bleh

[iamhassi]

but.... but.... she's an aspiring actress!! You can't expect her to do anything more than smile for the camera

Re:bleh

[russotto]

Never thought I'd see a generation of women who's goal in life is "I want to be a Trophy Wife when I grow up then get dumped and replaced by my wealthy husband for a younger trophy wife..."

Actually, that seems like a good deal for the Trophy Wife, provided she takes him to the cleaners at the divorce. Then she's financially well-off and free of her asshole ex-husband.

Shit even Barbie the Doll has been a doctor, lawyer, fire fighter, but oddly there isn't a HOPA edition.

All Barbies are HOPAs. At least if you're about a foot tall anyway.

Re:bleh

[ElectricTurtle]

I shouldn't bother, as you clearly haven't even tried to be sympathetic to the women whose characters you so denigrate, but in the interest of the wider humanity I'm going to try to reach you.

Have you ever watched a woman be introduced on stage? I mean, really watched and payed attention to the context? "And now the beautiful Jane Doe will perform X..." or "And now the lovely Jane Doe is here to talk to you about Y..." Men rarely are introduced in the context of their appearance, usually only if it is their career like male modeling; however women who may have spent decades as office workers of some kind or educators or what-have-you are still introduced this way. The people doing it think of it as polite flattery, but it is an indicator of an element in human society. Women are expected to look good regardless of what they do or how well they do it. Whatever their talents or their careers, they must also be pseudo-models on top of that. And those that actually manage to both do something well and look good doing it are, in general, more highly regarded than those limited by capacity or nature to one or the other primarily.

I do think it is irrational for women to complain about being objectified, if for no other reason than the people we don't know are objects. You don't see a total stranger, say, passing you on an escalator and can then rationally think 'wow they sure are generous/honest/loyal/smart' etc. You can't know people's character or intellect just by looking at them, but you can know of course whether they are attractive or not. If, after getting to know a person one still treats them like no more than an object, then you have a real cause for complaint. In any case, you should learn this lesson yourself. Each person deserves to be judged individually based on known qualities, not caught up in some broad brush antagonism based solely on assumptions drawn from appearances. Doing that makes you worse than a curmudgeon, it makes you a prejudiced asshole.

Re:bleh

[Anonymous Coward]

I feel sorry for the unfortunate creature that had no recourse but to marry you.

going to wake up to a MILLION facebook friends

[Anonymous Coward]

...that you don't want.

999,000 will be pervs on the 'net

is she a snog teeshirt girl?

[Anonymous Coward]

does she look like a snog teeshirt girl? http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_-qF6CbJo2vY/R5SEm2iC6yI/AAAAAAAABv0/_bfFDVJcavM/s400/snorg+girl.jpg

Just call Jenny up and ask...

[otis wildflower]

867-5309

I'm feeding a troll aren't i?

[Daetrin]

Are you upset because you think that only unattractive women should complain about sexual harassment, or do you just think that people should only comment on particular instances of harassment that happened to themselves rather than discussing it in the abstract?

You've gone from "someone posed in some pictures that weren't 100% depictions of an actual event" to condemning every "young" female american in existence.

Never thought I'd see a generation of women who's goal in life is 'I want to be a Trophy Wife when I grow up then get dumped and replaced by my wealthy husband for a younger trophy wife...'"

Are you sexist, out of touch with reality, or just trolling? Totally aside from the issue that no one actually has "then get dumped and replaced by my wealthy husband" as a goal, i can look around my office right now and see plenty of women "working hard and earning something in life." (Arguably more so than you or i, since i suspect that most of them aren't posting on Slashdot right now *cough*) I suggest you go compare the _reality_ of life today to that of just about all of history prior to the 20th century. Men spent several thousand years telling women that they mattered for nothing in life except for who they married and how many children they had. Do you really want to be the one bitching about how since we were finally gracious enough to start telling them they were equal a couple generations ago that it's unreasonable that some fraction (and _only_ a fraction) of them haven't gotten over that mindset yet? Despite the fact that a lot of men still treat them like they don't matter except for what's on their chest or between their legs?

"Maybe I am an old curmudgeon. But by God I want more 'women' and less 'chicks' please...."

If you look around and all you see is "chicks," then i suspect that you _are_ an old curmudgeon, and a sexist one at that, and are a bigger part of the problem than any woman who complains about being mistreated because of her gender, regardless of whether it's in a "fake" photoshoot or not. Either that, or you need to go outside and meet some real people living real lives and working at real jobs, rather than assuming that everything is just like what you see on TV or the internet.

So then...

[clo1_2000]

the white board is a lie?

/., you're trying too hard

[dsoltesz]

Dear /.,

Please stop trying to be Digg/Reddit. It's really quite embarrassing. You post these stories way past their expiration date and provide no meaningful content to contribute enlightenment or lolz. We've already seen the story. We've already read the comments. Don't fall into the trap of pandering mainstream drivel to drive traffic. If my grandma knows about it, it doesn't belong on /. Even in "Idle" your readers expect more.

Lovingly yours,
#563978

Re:/., you're trying too hard

[Anonymous Coward]

Expiration date on "news"? (sorry, hard to call this news)

That kind of retarded statement is exactly why this obvious hoax made it onto several "real" news sites without any fact checking whatsoever. Who gives a shit if some worthless site like Digg had the story 3 hours (or even 3 days) before Slashdot?

Re:/., you're trying too hard

[Anonymous Coward]

makes me think of this post by CmdrTaco

Be sure to check the parent post as well.

Re:/., you're trying too hard

[bughunter]

Hmm. I think that you have things a bit backward. Slashdot was compiling links and listing them with no added value or enlightenment long before Digg or Reddit were around.

Just because there's now an 'idle' section to which the drivel is relegated doesn't mean /. hasn't been driveling since Digg was in diapers.

Yeah whatever,
#10093

Re:/., you're trying too hard

[MakinBacon]

I'm afraid that if they do that, this place really will turn into Digg, which used to have similar content to /. before the 2008 American presidential elections caused it to be overrun with people who care nothing about political stories (specifically, the ones they already agree with).

Obvious

[rickb928]

For one thing, she's NOT AT WORK.

I'm usually at work when I quit, though this has not always been true. But a whiteboard from the fridge, a moment of feeling unappreciated, what the heck, post this. The gang at work will get a Kick out of it.

So, without encouraging this by actually RTFA, did her boss accept her resignation?

stop calling be and fusing the toilet

[Anonymous Coward]

stop calling be and fusing the toilet before I come to your house and stick the phone up your a** like I to the guy at the house where Stewart Stevenson lives.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Slashdot revisionism

[LambdaWolf]

When this story was first posted, the headline didn't say anything about a hoax; it had just the one line in the summary admitting it was "probably" fake. I can still see the original headline in my RSS feed. Now they've altered it as though they knew all along, which makes posts like yours look like pointless complaining. A little transparency would be nice, maybe an editor's note added to the bottom of the summary with a clear timestamp.

Was obvious from the beginning

[Artifex]

Come on, the site's called "The Chive." You know, like "The Onion?"

Emergency slides Dry erase boards...

[moxley]

Emergency slides > Dry erase boards....

I'm just sayin...

That guy is a ready made pop-culture hero for our times...I predict instant internet fame, and appearances on talk shows, reality shows, and job offers...

THIS is how you do it:

[White Flame]

Doug Walker quitting his job

GIS is USELESS

[gracesdad]

Would it KILL this girl to pose nude???

hotties can hoax...

[bodland]

grumpy admins... nnnnot so much...

HOPA != HPOA

[OakDragon]

HOPA? Hot of Piece Ass?

Re:HOPA != HPOA

[xSander]

If you had followed the story in the dryboard pictures, the misspelling was intentional.

Anonymous Coward

[Anonymous Coward]

Well done...Mel Gibson thought it was so good, he quit Hollywood with a dry erase board, too...love the spoofs: http://www.thecollaredsheep.com/mel-gibson-quits-hollywood-on-dry-erase-board/