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Girl Quits On Dry Erase Board a Hoax

suraj.sun writes "It's the same old story: young woman quits, uses dry erase board and series of pictures to let entire office know the boss is a sexist pig, exposes his love of playing FarmVille during work hours." Story seem too good to be true? It probably is, at least according to writer Peter Kafka. Even so, Jay Leno and Good Morning America have already reached out to "Jenny."

101 of 147 comments (clear)

  1. Old, and fake by Gruturo · · Score: 5, Informative

    Nice, story published hours after it was revealed to be a hoax / stunt: http://techcrunch.com/2010/08/11/elyse-porterfield/

    --

    Vacuum cleaners suck. Kings rule.
    1. Re:Old, and fake by Slippery+Pete · · Score: 4, Informative
    2. Re:Old, and fake by BKX · · Score: 3, Insightful

      The real question is who didn't immediately know it was fake? I mean, "The Chive"? That soundss aan aweful lot like The Onion to me.

    3. Re:Old, and fake by gandhi_2 · · Score: 2, Informative

      Well, the part about her being a hot piece of ass are true.

    4. Re:Old, and fake by Idbar · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Holy! 15 minutes of fame with a hoax! Hot actress from LA name+lastname are very public now. Way to quickly boost your career!

    5. Re:Old, and fake by elrous0 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Wait a minute, an unemployed aspiring actress in L.A.???? Sounds fishy to me.

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    6. Re:Old, and fake by Seumas · · Score: 3, Interesting

      I am astonished at the number of people who fell for this. It just proves that people have no operational critical thinking skills and just take anything they're fed as the truth. This is just a small example of how they treat more vital things like news of current events. If the AP wrote it or the local news anchor parroted it from a teleprompter, or a government organization released a statement, then it must all be true and taken at face value.

      As for this particular incident, it was instantly obvious to everyone with a two digit IQ that it was fake (it didn't last long enough or fool enough people to properly call this an actual hoax).

      What gave it away? Well, for one thing, are we supposed to believe that an HPOA like that was actually answering phones and doing some douchebag's dirty work in some great aspiration to be a stock broker? Hardly. In fact, I think my first sarcastic comment moments after this story first popped up in links from people I know was "Like a HPOA like that has to work as anything but a model".

      The second give-away is the clearly fake office.

      The third give-away is the quality of the photographs and the lighting.

      The the second and third elements above, they combine to give you that very strong "reality porn shoot" vibe. You could tell people that these photos are actually from some new OfficeBangBus website and everyone would believe it, because it just has that "fake staged office, professional lighting, pro-sumer camera" look to it.

      If the idiots behind this wanted the "hoax" to really succeed, they would have found a real office for her to stand in and snapped shots with a consumer point and click camera in whatever the real life office lighting was.

      The most offensive part is that this wasn't even a successful internet hoax. Most people immediately called it out as a fake and it wasn't even more than a few hours before it was proven to be a fake. And yet, nobody gives a fuck and all sorts of media outlets are going to give it coverage. What is there to cover? It's a non-story, other than on a few websites like Slashdot where it actually has some minor relevance. How does this deserve any television play? And what will their angle be? "So, you were a chick that was hired to stand there and be photographed in a failed internet hoax... uh...". I mean, if you were going to talk to ANYONE about it, why would it be the person who was the least involved? It's not like that girl came up with the idea or executed it. She responded to an audition call and stood there holding a whiteboard for a couple hours.

      I still believe this is far more than a mere "hoax" attempt. It seems clear to me that the guys behind it WANTED it to be known that it was a hoax as quickly as possible (if they had not admitted it so quickly, it would have dragged on a little longer). It sounds to me like they wanted to create a hoax AND get the attention for having created it all in one fell swoop. Either to get attention for themselves in some sort of "hey, we're a great media agency - hire us to promote your stuff!" attempt. . . . OR they were hired to do this by NBC or someone. Not as a "hoax" but as a "fake hoax" where the attempt wasn't to fool people, but to get everyone to pay attention to the girl so they could then announce that they're giving her a sit-com of her own and she's the star (which was already planned BEFORE the hoax was executed, surely).

      It'd be a lot like saying "we're a helium company and to promote our product, we're going to manufacturer an event where a little kid gets stuck in his dad's blimp and floats across the country and is covered live on the news".

    7. Re:Old, and fake by morari · · Score: 1

      Yeah, but she is quite the HPOA.

      --
      "He who can destroy a thing, controls a thing." --Paul Atreides, Dune
    8. Re:Old, and fake by raxhonp · · Score: 1

      I totally disagree, she is not too old, but I can't tell from here if they are fake or not.

    9. Re:Old, and fake by gtall · · Score: 1

      Errr...you really don't have a lot to keep you busy, do you?

    10. Re:Old, and fake by Cougar+Town · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Wow. You seriously know how to take just about all the fun out of something that was pretty entertaining. Sometimes you just need to shut the fuck and have a good laugh and realize that it doesn't even matter if it was real or a hoax.

      Enjoy life - don't analyze everything to the point that all meaning is lost.

    11. Re:Old, and fake by Recovery1 · · Score: 1

      Thanks, Mr. Comic Book Guy.

    12. Re:Old, and fake by jemtallon · · Score: 1

      That's Captain Sweatpants to you!

    13. Re:Old, and fake by Seumas · · Score: 1

      See, this is what I'm talking about. What fun and entertainment was there in a poor attempt at a lame and failed hoax? You're responding like this was some great piece of performance art that has merit or interest even when it fails. It's nothing of the sort. Sorry I didn't approach a lame attempt at a hoax with some sort of child-like wonder and glee.

      And please do inform me as to what enlightened "meaning" I missed out on by not being reeled in by these lame-ass self-promoters?

      Your comments seem very misplaced applied to such a shallow story as this one. You could almost apply them to that miserable "lonelygirl15" phenomenon from a few years ago, but certainly not to an afternoon-long flash in the pan like this.

    14. Re:Old, and fake by Gilmoure · · Score: 1

      All the world's a stage and all that?

      --
      I drank what? -- Socrates
    15. Re:Old, and fake by eln · · Score: 1

      I mean, if you were going to talk to ANYONE about it, why would it be the person who was the least involved? It's not like that girl came up with the idea or executed it.

      Because she's hot and would look good on TV, and therefore more people would watch. Nobody wants to see a couple of nerds talk about their hoax, but lots of people want to see a hot girl talk about just about anything.

      I think you're right about the guys doing this primarily to get attention, but most things people post on the Internet are there to get attention. Even if someone never reveals who they are, the purpose of putting almost anything on the Internet is so that people will see it, giving the poster some measure of validation, even if they never actually reveal their true identities.

      The idea of it being manufactured so NBC could give some unknown actress her own sitcom is a little too loopy for me to take seriously, though.

    16. Re:Old, and fake by TrisexualPuppy · · Score: 1

      She likes being choked. Believe me.

    17. Re:Old, and fake by E-Rock · · Score: 1

      See, I thought it was funny and didn't think about it again. Whether it was true or not didn't really matter. Still doesn't today.

    18. Re:Old, and fake by Cougar+Town · · Score: 1

      Maybe there was no fun and entertainment for you, and that's totally cool. Not everyone has the same sense of humour. I expect that there are things you find greatly entertaining or funny that I wouldn't at all.

      I saw it, chuckled because I found it amusing, and moved on. When I saw the amount of effort you'd put into your rant, I just had to say "hey, lighten up a bit, don't take life so seriously."

      You seem quite religiously dead-set against this thing, even moreso now... and I find that entertaining too :)

    19. Re:Old, and fake by Cougar+Town · · Score: 1

      Nah, it's just with all the bullshit in the world, I find it hard to not take something like this lightly, laugh, and move on. Since at best it was amusing, and at worst it didn't really have any negative effects... except maybe on Seumas :)

    20. Re:Old, and fake by Attila+Dimedici · · Score: 1

      See, I thought it was funny and didn't think about it again. Whether it was true or not didn't really matter. Still doesn't today.

      I wish I had mod points, because that sums up my thinking about it as well. I remember thinking, "That is a really foolish thing to do that would make it hard to find another job, I wonder if it is true." Then I deleted the email and moved on with my life.

      --
      The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted. James Madison
    21. Re:Old, and fake by spamking · · Score: 3, Funny

      [crazy Britney Spears Fan] Leave Seumas alone! [/crazy Britney Spears Fan]

    22. Re:Old, and fake by Dexter+Herbivore · · Score: 2, Informative

      This got modded informative???? ARE YOU BLIND, PEOPLE!

    23. Re:Old, and fake by PCM2 · · Score: 1

      Wait. So because there are lots of beautiful girls in LA, this girl is not good looking? Must be pretty harsh living in your world if you can't be attracted to anyone but the best-looking girl in the room.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
    24. Re:Old, and fake by ConceptJunkie · · Score: 1

      The idea of it being manufactured so NBC could give some unknown actress her own sitcom is a little too loopy for me to take seriously, though.

      You haven't watched TV in a long time, have you?

      --
      You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
    25. Re:Old, and fake by fishbowl · · Score: 2, Informative

      I think his point is rather that in some places, being "merely attractive" or "merely talented" aren't enough to ensure career prospects. It's not about obsession with superlatives, but more of a signal-to-noise problem.

      In Sweden you don't stand out for being six feet tall and blonde. In Russia, your 1700 chess rating means you sometimes win casual games.

      --
      -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
    26. Re:Old, and fake by commodore64_love · · Score: 1

      I have no idea what a Chive is. I fell for it, because the "fake boss" reminded me of the my last two idiot bosses. So it was believable in my mind. Plus I'd just seen the story about the airport guy quitting by sliding out of the plane. So it just felt like more of the usual whackiness.

      The one thing I was suspicious of was the photo where the sign is hanging in midair without support. But I just figured there must be somebody else helping her, like a coworker or boyfriend.

      As for making signs, that didn't seem that unusual. I've done all kinds of things on my jobs, especially on weekends:

      - Use the free internet (back before I had DSL at home)
      - Watch Sci-Fi Friday evening (because I don't have it).
      - Borrow friend's dreamcast and play on big-screen conference room TV
      - Sleep
      - Watch NASCAR Race- Wander around on a Sunday, looking at all the hot daughters' photos (the bikini ones are best)

      Basically I could easily imagine myself doing something like this "photo quit" routine. Do it on a Sunday when nobody's around, pack up my desk, email it, and never return. That doesn't seem far-fetched at all.

      .

      --
      "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - historian Evelyn Beatrice Hall
    27. Re:Old, and fake by commodore64_love · · Score: 1

      P.S.

      For the humor-impaired, the last one was a joke. ;-)

      --
      "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - historian Evelyn Beatrice Hall
    28. Re:Old, and fake by cp.tar · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I think his point is rather that in some places, being "merely attractive" or "merely talented" aren't enough to ensure career prospects. It's not about obsession with superlatives, but more of a signal-to-noise problem.

      In Sweden you don't stand out for being six feet tall and blonde. In Russia, your 1700 chess rating means you sometimes win casual games.

      Signal-to-noise ratio in LA must be pretty fucked up. Until Mad Men, Christina Hendricks was pretty much unknown and invisible. I mean, WTF?

      --
      Ignore this signature. By order.
    29. Re:Old, and fake by PCM2 · · Score: 1

      Point. Fuckin. Taken.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
  2. Fake by Swanktastic · · Score: 2, Informative

    This is known to be fake.

    1. Re:Fake by IBBoard · · Score: 3, Funny

      Why let the fact that it is fake stop it being promoted as the truth on Slashdot? ;)

    2. Re:Fake by underqualified · · Score: 1

      i'm surprised it's not from kdawson

    3. Re:Fake by roman_mir · · Score: 3, Funny

      No, your erection is also a hoax.

    4. Re:Fake by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      There was a time when it wasn't this way, but samzenpus is the "new" kdawson. You could probably tell samzenpus to eat a bowl of boogers, and he would do it after telling you that it's gross. He's just that stupid.

    5. Re:Fake by IBBoard · · Score: 1

      I'm surprised that "theChive.com" didn't give it away as being somewhat similar to TheOnion - that well know source of entirely truthful reports - and so probably not a trustworthy source of much!

    6. Re:Fake by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      It is also known to not be interesting, even if it was real.

    7. Re:Fake by AltairDusk · · Score: 1

      This is one of the few times on /. where I DON'T want to see any sources for that one way or the other...

    8. Re:Fake by mlush · · Score: 1

      This is known to be fake.

      But the headline says its a Hoax.... do you mean its a fake hoax?

    9. Re:Fake by blueZ3 · · Score: 1

      Reminds me of the dumbest guy in the office back when I was working in a drafting shop. The draftsmen were always playing tricks on each other and setting up Rube Goldberg-type booby traps. One of the guys was clearly not the sharpest stick in the bundle so on a day we knew he'd be the last one back from lunch we hung a cup filled with confetti from the ceiling with a string attached to a sign that said "Pull me." He did.

      I think he's now a /. editor.

      --
      Interested in a Flash-based MAME front end? Visit mame.danzbb.com
    10. Re:Fake by ArcadeNut · · Score: 1

      Your post is fake? Looks pretty real to me!

      --
      Visit the Arcade Restoration Workshop @ http://www.arcaderestoration.com
    11. Re:Fake by geoskd · · Score: 1

      Why let the fact that it is fake stop it being promoted as the truth on Slashdot? ;)

      Because it doesn't have a liberal or Apple bias anywhere in it.

      -=Geoskd

      --
      I wish I had a good sig, but all the good ones are copyrighted
    12. Re:Fake by Sulphur · · Score: 1

      Kafka, Peter Kafka.

      Not K'Dawsonesque.

  3. Time to head to home depot... by Drakkenmensch · · Score: 2, Insightful

    That whiteboard is surprisingly clean, no smudges, no ghost lines of previous half-erased messages. Even the marker lines themselves are so clean you could swear they were drawn in mspaint rather than with an old dying black marker. But there's no way the internet would ever publish a HOAX, is there?

    1. Re:Time to head to home depot... by JWSmythe · · Score: 1

      I wouldn't think that the whiteboard itself is a hoax. Folks occasionally use a new whiteboard, and new marker. It happens once in the life of a whiteboard. :)

          Smudges on whiteboards are frequently from "ink" that has dried on. It wipes off fine not long after you put it on, but not so great months later. I've had boards where particular notes were written months or years before, and when that information finally does change, it doesn't come off gracefully. But that's why they have whiteboard cleaner (isopropyl alcohol) and paper towels.

          I guess what is worse is when someone thinks they're using a dry erase marker, and they use a permanent one instead. Try taking *that* off years later. Carburetor or brake cleaner is just about the only thing that'll make a dent in it.

          Looking at the photos, it was obvious that there was a problem with it. Thankfully she did admit it, or this would be a long running argument.

          Unfortunately, I'm sure I'll be getting this in as chain letters for years to come. {sigh} Isn't there already enough crap floating around that places like Snopes have to say "no, it's still not real."?

      --
      Serious? Seriousness is well above my pay grade.
    2. Re:Time to head to home depot... by thegarbz · · Score: 1

      Wait what? Someone has gone to the effort of taking all these individual pictures and poses, and you think they had the patience to screw around with paint / photoshop to draw the lines on the board? People on the whole a lazy. That alone should give you an indication that the pictures are real.

      That said the rest of the story is a hoax. The only people this was emailed to is half the internet via the usual spam chain mail.

    3. Re:Time to head to home depot... by Drakkenmensch · · Score: 1

      Wait what? Someone has gone to the effort of taking all these individual pictures and poses, and you think they had the patience to screw around with paint / photoshop to draw the lines on the board? People on the whole a lazy. That alone should give you an indication that the pictures are real.

      I'm thinking some ad company took the pictures of a model with an empty whiteboard as a template for ads where they could write whatever discount of the week they planned on advertizing later. Then someone got a hold of these after seeing the Jet Blue quitting story and thought "hey, quitting stories are hot right now, let's make up a story of our own!"

    4. Re:Time to head to home depot... by Devout_IPUite · · Score: 1

      I had a white board at my office that looked perfect a year after I got it. Because I never let ink stay on for more than about 48 hours.

    5. Re:Time to head to home depot... by JayJay.br · · Score: 1

      Unfortunately, I'm sure I'll be getting this in as chain letters for years to come.

      What are these "letters" you talk about? Is this some new social network, or a new kind of e-mail?

      (Yeah I know, off-topic, mod me down to hell, I can burn some...)

    6. Re:Time to head to home depot... by beelsebob · · Score: 2, Informative

      Just for future reference for you – the difference between permanent marker and dry wipe pen is that the dry wipe pens have a solvent in them to disolve the previous "ink". You can easily clean off permanent marker simply by drawing over it with dry wipe pen and immediately rubbing it out.

    7. Re:Time to head to home depot... by Red+Flayer · · Score: 1

      You can easily clean off permanent marker simply by drawing over it with dry wipe pen and immediately rubbing it out.

      Yes, but that leaves an entirely new type of stain. :(

      --
      "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
    8. Re:Time to head to home depot... by Glonoinha · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Use cheap vodka to clean whiteboards.
      It does a better job, is a lot cheaper, and doesn't leave the entire room choking on the incredibly nasty fumes like commercial whiteboard cleaner.

      Just put it in a regular spray bottle and don't tell anybody what it is - works like a champ. I haven't tried it on permanent marker, but I have a feeling it might just work...

      --
      Glonoinha the MebiByte Slayer
    9. Re:Time to head to home depot... by SpaceCadets · · Score: 1

      Off topic, but I've found to get rid of 'permanant' or permanant markings is to write over it with whiteboard marker, and it comes off easy as. Might only work in Australia though :P.

  4. She's an actress by HangingChad · · Score: 5, Insightful

    But still an HPOA.

    --
    That's our life, the big wheel of shit. - The Fat Man, Blue Tango Salvage
    1. Re:She's an actress by RenHoek · · Score: 1

      [scruffy]Second[/scruffy]

    2. Re:She's an actress by oodaloop · · Score: 1

      Or was it HOPA? I'm confused.

      --
      Tic-Tac-Toe, Global Thermonuclear War, and relationships all have the same winning move.
    3. Re:She's an actress by oodaloop · · Score: 1

      And her board said HOPA first. Then switched later to HPOA.

      --
      Tic-Tac-Toe, Global Thermonuclear War, and relationships all have the same winning move.
  5. As Teal'c would say by PmanAce · · Score: 4, Funny

    Indeed.

    --
    Tired of my customary (Score:1)
  6. I got hooked by krzysz00 · · Score: 1

    When this story was in the submission bin I read it and fell for it. WHo knew it was fake?

    1. Re:I got hooked by hedwards · · Score: 1

      Eh, not necessarily, I basically did something similar to that when I walked out of my job a while back. I wasn't about to get myself killed because the manager was a corrupt, dangerously incompetent prick with no relevant knowledge and a general jackass psychopath. Most of what I've read indicating it's a hoax, other than the admission, is pretty much bullshit. If you're that angry about a work site this sequence of images is hardly that implausible. A new whiteboard that size isn't really that expensive and at some point quitting in a spectacular way becomes worth it.

    2. Re:I got hooked by PRMan · · Score: 1

      First I'm hearing of it, but it's obviously faked. The poses are too staged for somebody upset with a job enough to be quitting. The emotional reactions are all wrong.

      --
      Peter predicted that you would "deliberately forget" creation 2000 years ago...
    3. Re:I got hooked by Abstrackt · · Score: 1

      ... and at some point quitting in a spectacular way becomes worth it.

      No matter how much you hate your job you should never burn a bridge. Even if you hate the job with every fiber of your being and it goes against all your morals you should still try to quit on the best terms possible because there is always a chance how you handled yourself in that situation will come back to you. You don't have to be friends with everyone when you walk out the door but you need to take the emotion out of it. Just say you can't handle the work and be ready to explain why at your next interview.

      A few years ago we had someone "quit" (get fired) in a spectacular fashion. At no point did my boss say a single bad word about the person, even during the incident or well after he had left, but word still got around that he fired him. Several months later this person applied for a job at a completely different company where the owner happened to know my boss and he wouldn't hire the guy just on the fact that my boss had fired him because he must have done something bad and this guy didn't want to find out what.

      --
      They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. - Terry Pratchett
    4. Re:I got hooked by Seumas · · Score: 1

      And did someone photograph you doing that, using a high quality prosumer camera and professional lighting work in a clearly staged office environment? And do you look like a super model who spends her days going to auditions rather than answering phones and dealing with a douchey boss?

    5. Re:I got hooked by russotto · · Score: 1

      Yeah, the production values are obviously too good, as anyone who has tried to get even lighting off a whiteboard can attest. But the staged office environments exist in real life; lawyers, in particular, often have an office for show. And bosses with show offices are likely the same types to hire HOPAs as assistants.

  7. Whaa? by Skellbasher · · Score: 1

    Slashdot isn't always the most timely place to see things, but it's usually at least accurate. Too bad this made it through today.

  8. The jetblue guy did a better job then this! by Joe+The+Dragon · · Score: 3, Insightful

    The jetblue guy did a better job then this!

    1. Re:The jetblue guy did a better job then this! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      THAN this. FFS.

    2. Re:The jetblue guy did a better job then this! by OhHellWithIt · · Score: 1

      I was thinking something along the same line.

      --
      "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell
    3. Re:The jetblue guy did a better job then this! by hey! · · Score: 4, Insightful

      It was grabbing the beer on the way out that was the stroke of genius.

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
    4. Re:The jetblue guy did a better job then this! by PCM2 · · Score: 1

      It was grabbing the beer on the way out that was the stroke of genius.

      That, and when the cops came to his house to arrest him he was allegedly "engaged in sexual activities."

      As a friend said yesterday, I like to think that he was yelling, "Fuuuuuccckk youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" on the way down the slide, beer in hand.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
    5. Re:The jetblue guy did a better job then this! by hey! · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yes. It appears he had a sudden stroke of Priorities.

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  9. This kind of stuff by jewishbaconzombies · · Score: 1

    Is just making it harder for anyone to believe that my penis can sing Lady GaGa tunes.

    I was going to post it on YouTube but now everyone will just think it's fake. Goddamn internet.

  10. Re:I would have fired her too by darkitecture · · Score: 4, Funny

    G-R-A-M-M-A-R

    grammar

    --The Spelling Nazi

  11. "Probably"? by frist · · Score: 1

    Probably too good to be true?

  12. Re:I would have fired her too by andrewd18 · · Score: 1

    I would have fired you because you don't know English. Grammar is spelled with an A. Also, your signature is missing proper capitalization and punctuation.

    -- The Spelling Nazi

  13. Re:I would have fired her too by pinkushun · · Score: 1

    Grammar does goes wonky around pretty girls

  14. Re:I would have fired her too by xwizbt · · Score: 1

    You can; it's clumsy but it's quite correct, in the same way that it's is a perfectly acceptable contraction of 'it has'.

  15. Re:I would have fired her too by iamhassi · · Score: 1

    dam u spelin' nazi!!

    -- The Grammaer Nazi

    --
    my karma will be here long after I'm gone
  16. Re:bleh by swb · · Score: 1

    I think you're mostly right but I also think you're arguing against human nature at the same time.

    It's in a woman's nature to want to be physically attractive, to compete against other women to be "most" attractive -- this has been going on far longer than just our very recent contemporary mass-media society and represents part of the biological imperative for reproduction.

    That being said, I think deliberate sexual manipulation by women is kind of pathetic and usually very short-sighted; a hot piece of ass is like cut flowers -- it has a very short shelf life and after the bloom fades they usually end up in the trash.

    It would do men good to not allow themselves to be so easily manipulated by it, too, but I think men's inability to control themselves is largely what's behind repressive social rules and laws that hinder women.

  17. Re:bleh by iamhassi · · Score: 1

    but.... but.... she's an aspiring actress!! You can't expect her to do anything more than smile for the camera

    --
    my karma will be here long after I'm gone
  18. Re:I would have fired her too by quitte · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Could someone please come up with sources?
    I looked it up in my school's grammar book and wikipedia. Both explicitly allow the combination of pronouns with contracted auxiliary verbs. But neither forbid the use of contracted auxiliary verbs with real nouns.
    I'm not a native speaker - but it definately doesn't sound clumsy to me. And this obviously is a situation where informal use of a language is quite appropriate.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraction_(grammar)#English

  19. Re:bleh by russotto · · Score: 1

    Never thought I'd see a generation of women who's goal in life is "I want to be a Trophy Wife when I grow up then get dumped and replaced by my wealthy husband for a younger trophy wife..."

    Actually, that seems like a good deal for the Trophy Wife, provided she takes him to the cleaners at the divorce. Then she's financially well-off and free of her asshole ex-husband.

    Shit even Barbie the Doll has been a doctor, lawyer, fire fighter, but oddly there isn't a HOPA edition.

    All Barbies are HOPAs. At least if you're about a foot tall anyway.

  20. Just call Jenny up and ask... by otis+wildflower · · Score: 5, Funny

    867-5309

  21. /., you're trying too hard by dsoltesz · · Score: 5, Informative

    Dear /.,

    Please stop trying to be Digg/Reddit. It's really quite embarrassing. You post these stories way past their expiration date and provide no meaningful content to contribute enlightenment or lolz. We've already seen the story. We've already read the comments. Don't fall into the trap of pandering mainstream drivel to drive traffic. If my grandma knows about it, it doesn't belong on /. Even in "Idle" your readers expect more.

    Lovingly yours,
    #563978

    1. Re:/., you're trying too hard by bughunter · · Score: 1

      Hmm. I think that you have things a bit backward. Slashdot was compiling links and listing them with no added value or enlightenment long before Digg or Reddit were around.

      Just because there's now an 'idle' section to which the drivel is relegated doesn't mean /. hasn't been driveling since Digg was in diapers.

      Yeah whatever,
      #10093

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      I can see the fnords!
    2. Re:/., you're trying too hard by MakinBacon · · Score: 1

      I'm afraid that if they do that, this place really will turn into Digg, which used to have similar content to /. before the 2008 American presidential elections caused it to be overrun with people who care nothing about political stories (specifically, the ones they already agree with).

  22. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  23. Slashdot revisionism by LambdaWolf · · Score: 1

    When this story was first posted, the headline didn't say anything about a hoax; it had just the one line in the summary admitting it was "probably" fake. I can still see the original headline in my RSS feed. Now they've altered it as though they knew all along, which makes posts like yours look like pointless complaining. A little transparency would be nice, maybe an editor's note added to the bottom of the summary with a clear timestamp.

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    "This algorithm runs in constant time. Come on, 2,147,483,648 is a constant..."
  24. Was obvious from the beginning by Artifex · · Score: 1

    Come on, the site's called "The Chive." You know, like "The Onion?"

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    Get off my launchpad!
  25. Re:bleh by ElectricTurtle · · Score: 1

    I shouldn't bother, as you clearly haven't even tried to be sympathetic to the women whose characters you so denigrate, but in the interest of the wider humanity I'm going to try to reach you.

    Have you ever watched a woman be introduced on stage? I mean, really watched and payed attention to the context? "And now the beautiful Jane Doe will perform X..." or "And now the lovely Jane Doe is here to talk to you about Y..." Men rarely are introduced in the context of their appearance, usually only if it is their career like male modeling; however women who may have spent decades as office workers of some kind or educators or what-have-you are still introduced this way. The people doing it think of it as polite flattery, but it is an indicator of an element in human society. Women are expected to look good regardless of what they do or how well they do it. Whatever their talents or their careers, they must also be pseudo-models on top of that. And those that actually manage to both do something well and look good doing it are, in general, more highly regarded than those limited by capacity or nature to one or the other primarily.

    I do think it is irrational for women to complain about being objectified, if for no other reason than the people we don't know are objects. You don't see a total stranger, say, passing you on an escalator and can then rationally think 'wow they sure are generous/honest/loyal/smart' etc. You can't know people's character or intellect just by looking at them, but you can know of course whether they are attractive or not. If, after getting to know a person one still treats them like no more than an object, then you have a real cause for complaint. In any case, you should learn this lesson yourself. Each person deserves to be judged individually based on known qualities, not caught up in some broad brush antagonism based solely on assumptions drawn from appearances. Doing that makes you worse than a curmudgeon, it makes you a prejudiced asshole.

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    I support the Slashcott and will not be reading or commenting from 2/10/14 to 2/17/14. Beta is steaming pile of dog shit
  26. Emergency slides Dry erase boards... by moxley · · Score: 1

    Emergency slides > Dry erase boards....

    I'm just sayin...

    That guy is a ready made pop-culture hero for our times...I predict instant internet fame, and appearances on talk shows, reality shows, and job offers...

  27. THIS is how you do it: by White+Flame · · Score: 1
  28. GIS is USELESS by gracesdad · · Score: 1

    Would it KILL this girl to pose nude???

  29. Re:I would have fired her too by iamhassi · · Score: 1

    "You can; it's clumsy but it's quite correct, in the same way that it's is a perfectly acceptable contraction of 'it has'."

    No. Assistant's is possessive, like "this is the assistant's pen".

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    my karma will be here long after I'm gone
  30. Re:I would have fired her too by xwizbt · · Score: 1

    Actually, that's why I said it's clumsy. If you want to browse through Earnest Gowers' 'The Complete Plain Words' you'll find he's quite unworried about the use of apostrophes for contractions, and goes so far as to only list three cases where one needs to worry unduly about apostrophes. He does, however, go to great pains to explain that the whole point of writing is to communicate without ambiguity, and in the case quoted above there's clearly ambiguity - is it an unconventional contraction of 'assistant has' or is it a possessive apostrophe? Both acceptable, but arguably ambiguous, hence my opinion of it as clumsy.

    You wouldn't happen to have a Strunk and White handy, would you? My own library only extends as far as Sir Earnest Gowers on the grammatical front, and it would be interesting to see what an American guide has to say on the matter.

  31. hotties can hoax... by bodland · · Score: 1

    grumpy admins... nnnnot so much...

  32. Re:I would have fired her too by GameboyRMH · · Score: 1

    Right you is.

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    "When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
  33. HOPA != HPOA by OakDragon · · Score: 1

    HOPA? Hot of Piece Ass?

    1. Re:HOPA != HPOA by xSander · · Score: 2, Informative

      If you had followed the story in the dryboard pictures, the misspelling was intentional.

  34. Re:I would have fired her too by iamhassi · · Score: 1

    **citation needed

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    my karma will be here long after I'm gone