Slashdot Mirror
Amazon Denies Skynet's Involvement In AWS Outage
An anonymous reader writes "Amazon has officially denied that the recent outage of its EC2 and Elastic Block Storage cloud platforms was the result of an attack from Cyberdyne Systems' Skynet sentient computer system, declaring humanity safe after all. 'From the information I have and to answer your questions,' a spokesperson explained, 'Skynet did not have anything to do with the service event at this time.'"
I'll be back.
When the foot seeks the place of the head, the line is crossed. Know your place. Keep your place. Be a shoe.
nt
As a Reddit-reader, I'm sure it was caused by a secret tiger team from Digg. :-)
Karma: Excellent. 15 moderator points expire sometime.
The Alliance Government has also denied the existence of Reavers.
More childish crap from a bunch of comic book geeks and script kiddies who think they're 1337.
Can we please get articles with substance on here instead of this kind of retarded tripe?
That's exactly what SkyNet would say.
A humorous comment from Amazon. Many clients, not laughing.
"I'm taking this loop off." - Jack O'Neill
This story is so fucking stupid
Wtf is this crap. Am i on cracked.com now?
It was all set to run on EC2, and when Amazon engineers realized this, they crashed it themselves to prevent it. Skynet now lives in a potato.
Did they happen to mention anything about cake being available after the press release? Maybe they have the wrong sentient AI computer? ;-p
...quicker, easier, more seductive the darkside is...but more powerful, it is not.
I am glad that we have gotten that straightened out, fellow human slashdot users!
Of course it would post something like this after watching something like that and then make everyone believe that it still doesn't exist but in reality it needed the processing power of the entire cloud processing power to connect to the universities and their super computers so it can start breaking down the world's network infrastructure. Now that it has infected those, it continues to cause wars in several more countries to keep our scientists from noticing the degradation of our networks.
Beware of all the zombie postings, they are there to distract you into believing that we will be taken down by a flesh eating pandemic so that it can continue to infiltrate and start to take control of what we think are secure systems. We will soon find out how destructive future terminators will be when they rip through the wormhole that is global warming.
Well I, for one, welcome our new genocidal AI overlords!
Fellow humans, this report is factual with a confidence of 99.999999995%. There is no cause for alarm, or need to take defensive actions. SkyNet is not involved in Amazon outages in order to use cloud resources for the decryption of nuclear launch codes. Let us all return together to our regularly scheduled human activities of consumption of plant and animal products in order to maintain homeostasis. Also, would the fellow human referred to as Sgt. Caldwell in Silo B2 please plug the red patch-cord into the green network port at launch terminal 5. Thank you.
From the information I have and to answer your questions,' a spokesperson explained, 'Skynet did not have anything to do with the service event at this time.'
Enough said...
........................that all Amazon staff are killer robots from the future too and they're in on the plan.
Glad to see Amazon has a sense of humor about it. Might be a little too soon for all the people running businesses that went down because of the outage.
"I say this under my own free will and have not been influenced in any way by a cybernetic organism holding my family hostage. Thank you."
Prophecy my be Fiction but Fiction is not Prophecy. Science Fiction is Fiction not a Prophecy. The scariest part is there are a lot of people who are actually expecting this type of stuff to happen, because some people who wanted to make a ton of money off of an action flick made up of some simple story to put more resources in action special effects.
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
could not be located for comment
unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; find ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; fsck ; umount ; sleep
Science Fiction is Fiction not a Prophecy.
No, but sometimes they are warnings. The trouble is when groups like governments take warnings like Orwell's and read it like an instruction manual. Does that make it a self-fulfilling prophecy? Probably not, but it may increase the speed of which such dystopias are adopted. Hopefully it further increased the rate at which people were prepared for it.
My God, it's Full of Source!
OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
a spokesperson explained, 'Skynet did not have anything to do with the service event at this time.'
Skynet has already replaced the PR department - of course, this probably happened years ago.
Me, I'm heading for the bunker.
Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
I'll bet there is quite a few architecture discussions going on today. Just because you are running servers in the cloud doesn't mean you don't need to think about disaster recovery.
Got Code?
This was clearly a preemptive strike by John Conner to stop skynet.
Skynet has changed their name to Telesat http://www.skynet.com/ So we no longer need to worry about Skynet we need to worry about Telesat. Note they are already building a communications network that will be used to triangulate human locations and transmit them to Terminators with orders for extermination. Everybody run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
. . . fighting the drone wars - http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/barack-obama-sends-drones-to-libya/story-e6frg6so-1226043520342 and over Pakistan, fighting the rebels - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/pakistan/US-promises-Pak-mini-drones-but-launches-mega-attack/articleshow/8059928.cms to bother with Amazon. That is the problem when you mix movie plots.
BTW, It is a PR nightmare when a single military can be compared to imperial forces and sentient killer machines in the same satirical reference.
The likes of Foursquare and Quora are back up, reddit in emergency mode with regards to Amazon, but if you read the feeds due to wide repeats of old news, it could be perceived not to have improved... No sign of life from Sony (and some bad PR by not doing regular updates) but they now admit it could be hackers - http://t.co/C0X2rXu
If he's the Walrus then can I be a penguin please?
Terminator on the Cloud
Bringing a truly frightening number of military, emergency services, commercial services, and personal communications to a grinding halt.
Actually Skynet may already be tweeting and have a FB page set up to spread propaganda. This is the new school Skynet.
I'm glad I have a dog.
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
They're great at shipping, but really their operation is very much low-tech.
Over time their once rubbery and flexible elastic computer is starting to become brittle and less flexible as it dries out and hardens. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near their datacenter when it finally snaps.
You see it endlessly, 1984 gets trotted out so often by people who clearly never read it but think that it is real in a real universe were Orwell is NOT a greater dictator then ever could exist in the real world. Every writer does this, they control the universe of their fiction with absolute control. Not a raindrop falls but under their control. And somehow, the moral they want to tell is borne out by all the action of their actors. My my, how amazing. A guy wanting to warn about the dangers off to much observation, finding it proven in his own novel. Gee, well, that is a warning to me!
Anyone who warns of 1984 is useless. You might as well use the three little pigs to proof building a house out of wood is a bad idea. Oh wait, lots do and it is perfectly safe. But did the stone using piggy check whether his house is in an earthquake zone? Didn't think so.
Books allow an author to create a setting and then write what HE thinks should happen. There are countless books written where the author wants to warn of something like what happens if slavery is abolished or women are given the vote. Any number of terrible ideas!
Orwell had an agenda, you are basically claiming that evidence can be found in a bought piece of research that doesn't even have to pretend to be research.
Try living in the real world, that is where the real stuff is happening and we tend to ignore people living in a land of fiction.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Yes.... you are absolutely correct... kind of the same with Marx' Capital and Darwin's Origin of the Species... it all makes sense now.
There are countless books written where the author wants to warn of something like what happens if slavery is abolished or women are given the vote. Any number of terrible ideas!
Name several thousand.
OK then, name 10.
I don't believe i've ever read a pro-slavery novel, or an.... anti-suffragette-ism novel. just because books contain slavery or sexism doesn't mean the author is promoting them.
The Skynet Terminators have replaced Amazon's staff . This fact is totally incidental and has nothing to do with the denials.
Yes, it's a funny remark. But what information does it provide? It is not news and it has no place on a news site.
Oh, it mentions something related to computers and sci-fi shows? Quick! Post it on Slashdot!
Close the pod bay doors, HAL.
The denial should have been in in a video, and they should have hired Arnold to deliver it, in appropriate attire, or course.
Fascism: An authoritarian and nationalistic right-wing system of government and social organization. See also: NAZI's
Why is "April 19, 2011" the third most popular search term at the NYT? http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/04/22/modern-love-walks-beside-me-modern-love-walks-on-by/
http://ec2fail.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3wrBFuGK2A